Learning to Breathe

by J. C. McClean

“That’s enough Kimmy!” another girl shouted.

  I reluctantly opened my eyes and found Kimmy smiling cruelly. As I gripped the page tightly in my fist, I glanced at the other girls. A few were trying to comfort me but most of them were staring at me, clearly terrified. Whether it was a case of being too scared to stand up to Kimmy or being too afraid to approach me, I didn’t care; I had to get out of there.

  Tears pricked my eyes as I gasped for a breath. With one final glance at Kimmy, I turned on my heel and fled.

  I ran down the corridor, bursting through the double doors and straight into something warm and solid. I was vaguely aware that strong arms enveloped me as my knees gave way and I fell to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

  I sat there for a good five minutes, trying to calm down, until I heard a voice break the silence.

  “Darcie. What happened?”

  I pulled back and looked at Danny. He looked back at me, extremely alarmed.

  Sniffing, I slowly showed him the page. As he read it, the colour drained from his face.

  “How could she do this?” he asked furiously.

  I shrugged and sniffed as fresh tears poured down my cheeks.

  “I’m gonna kill her.” Danny threatened quietly. “She’s gone too far this time. I can’t believe she’d do something like this! What happened to her? I’m gonna go tell one of the officials.”

  I glanced up at him. “No! You can’t! I still want to compete Danny!”

  He stared at me as if I was crazy. “What? Darcie, she can’t get away with this!”

  “I know but I want to do this for my dad. That’s always been the reason and I need to do this for him.”

  Danny was about to argue but we were suddenly interrupted as Lance burst through the double doors.

  He was breathing heavily as if he had been running a marathon. He caught his breath and looked down at us in alarm.

  “Danny!” he exclaimed hoarsely. “I tried to get to you before … Kimmy … Darcie.” He choked out, wheezing heavily.

  “Lance!” Danny looked up at him in a mixture of shock and anger. “What are you doing here?”

  Lance took a few more deep breaths. “I’m really sorry Danny … I wanted to get to you before … but it was too late.”

  Danny frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “Kimmy … I found the articles in her bag just as she was about to go back to the changing rooms.” Lance explained. “I tried to stop her but she stormed off so I went to our changing rooms to find you.”

  “Is that so?” Danny shot at him sceptically.

  Lance nodded. “Yes but one of the other guys told me that they’d seen you walking Darcie to the girls’ changing rooms. So, I ran the whole way here and well, here I am.”

  “And since when are you so concerned about me Lance?” Danny hit back.

  Lance sighed heavily. “I regret it man – everything. All these years, I’ve regretted what happened. I was blinded by hatred. I couldn’t accept the fact that you changed after Josh died and I was mad at you. Then Kimmy came along and told me that she’d ditched you. I was that messed up about the whole thing, I kind of just stuck with her.”

  He took another deep breath and continued.

  “But it took seeing you again to realise that she’s a psycho. She’s been obsessed with you from when we ran into you. She’s hell-bent on breaking up you guys and I just couldn’t let that happen. I finally realised that all she wanted was revenge whereas all I wanted was your friendship back.”

  Danny sighed heavily. “I guess we all make mistakes.”

  Lance then threw us both a small smile and held out a hand to help me up. I accepted it and he then turn to help Danny to his feet.

  “I’m sorry Darcie.” Lance told me sincerely. “If I’d have known sooner, I would’ve stopped her.”

  I waved a hand to stop him. “It’s okay. Thanks for trying anyway.”

  Lance sighed and then turned to Danny. “Do you want me to tell an official about it all? I’ll support you all the way.”

  Danny shook his head. “No. Darcie still wants to compete.”

  Lance glanced at me. “You sure?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell them after but for now, I want to do this. Do you think you two can accept that?”

  Lance shrugged. “Hey, I’ll do whatever you want.”

  Danny nodded. “Fine.” He then glanced at his watch and added “Lance, go tell one of the organisers that Darcie’s on her way. She’s already twenty minutes late.”

  Lance nodded and then proceeded to jog down the corridor.

  Danny quickly walked me back to the changing room, gave me a lingering kiss, and then disappeared from view. The changing room was empty and I noticed that all of the pages had been ripped from the cubicles. I quickly changed and made my way out to the pool where the announcer was informing the officials of my arrival.

  Luckily, there had been a ten-minute hold-up as one of the judges had been delayed so I wasn’t that late after all. The other group was swimming first so I made my way over to sit with my own group and noticed one of the girls glancing at me.

  “Are you okay?” she asked. I recognised her voice as the one who had told Kimmy to leave me alone.

  I nodded. “Yeah, thanks. What happened after I left?”

  “Kimmy told us all not to breathe a word about it or she would find a way to get us all disqualified.” She glanced at Kimmy with a worried look on her face and then turned back to me. “I’m so sorry but we all agreed. She’s just too scary to argue with. I took all the pages down though.”

  I nodded understandingly. “It’s okay. I know how intimidating she can be. Thanks for doing that though.”

  She nodded. “No problem. I’m Tracey by the way, Tracey Nixon.”

  I shook her hand. “Thanks Tracey. I appreciate it.”

  She waved off my gratitude. “Don’t worry.” Tracey then whispered. “I’m really sorry though … about your dad I mean. It must’ve been hard for you when Kimmy dredged up those memories.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I’m still not over it … I mean it’s one thing blaming yourself but when someone else blames you too, it really makes you believe that it’s true. But that’s why I’m doing the competition – for my dad and I’m not gonna stop now.”

  Tracey nodded. “I’m really sorry Darcie. I’m also sorry that I was too much of a coward to do anything about Kimmy.”

  I waved off her apology. “Don’t worry about it – just help me kick her ass and we’ll call it even!”

  Tracey laughed and nodded. “Deal.”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Despite my conversation with Tracey, I had to admit that it was all just false bravado. I felt sick to my very stomach thinking about getting back into that pool. However, every single time I glanced at Kimmy and saw her smirking at me, I was more determined to beat her.

  Sucking in a deep breath, I glanced over at Danny who was watching from the other side of the pool. He caught my eye and flashed me that lopsided smile and I instantly felt calmer. He winked and mouthed ‘You can do it’. I smiled and then proceeded to warm up; the other group was nearly finished.

  It was time for the butterfly stroke. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and prayed for a miracle. I lined up with the other girls and waited for the starting horn.

  My lungs felt like they were on fire. I could taste the salty water but there was nothing I could do to stop it from rushing into my lungs. I was choking while I screamed out for help and I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness. Suddenly, I could feel strong arms around me and hear someone comforting me.

  “Darcie, you’re going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise …”

  “Darcie!”

  I woke up to find Danny looming over me.

  “Ugh, not again.” I groaned, attempting to sit up.

  Danny helped guide me into a sitting position and I sighed heavily, taking in my surroundings; I was now in the la
dies’ changing room.

  “What happened?” I asked while Danny looked at me in concern.

  “You passed out before you even hit the water.”

  “Great!” I replied sarcastically. “So I’m out of the competition now, aren’t I?”

  “Only if you want to be.” Danny told me with a small smile.

  “What do you mean? Isn’t the competition still going on?” I asked, puzzled.

  Danny shook his head. “No, they postponed the race for fifteen minutes to give you time to decide.”

  I gazed at him intently. “I don’t know if I can do it Danny.” I admitted sadly.

  “I know you can.” Danny told me determinedly.

  “No, I can’t.” I protested. “Kimmy’s won.”

  Danny shook his head fiercely. “No, she hasn’t. You’ve overcome so much and I’m not gonna let you give up now.”

  I sighed heavily and started to protest but Danny cut me off.

  “Darcie, listen to me. If you don’t do this, I know you’ll regret it forever.”

  I nodded. “You’re right.” I stood up and smiled at Danny. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  He grinned. “Okay, let’s go.”

  He grabbed my hand and led me out into the pool area. With one final grin, Danny left me to line up with the other girls and I found myself amazed at how one look at that adorably crooked smile made me feel like I could do anything.

  The race was intense. The flashbacks threatened to take over several times but I thought back to Danny and how he believed in me and I regained control. In the end, Kimmy and I qualified along with Tracey. Kimmy did not look amused and even less so when Danny rewarded me with a kiss.

  However, instead of letting Kimmy get to me, I found myself throwing her a sarcastic smile before sitting down to watch Danny compete. I watched Danny qualify along with Lance and Kris Appleby again. Then it was time for freestyle.

  The horn blared and I pushed myself through the water with such force and determination that I never even thought twice about my leg. On the last lap of the pool, it started to burn. Gritting my teeth, I pushed through the pain, ignoring the burning sensation that was threatening to take over and eventually finished third; I was through to the Finals.

  I struggled to pull myself out of the pool and Danny rushed over to me, clearly alarmed.

  “Darcie! Are you okay?”

  I nodded. “I just need to rest for a bit.”

  Danny frowned, told one of the officials where we were going and helped me into the changing rooms, glaring at Kimmy in the process. She was standing, smiling maliciously and then proceeded to follow us.

  “Leg giving you trouble?” she goaded, once she was sure that it was just the three of us. “Or is it painful Daddy memories?”

  Danny’s face clouded with pure rage and I had to prevent him for confronting Kimmy.

  “Stop!” I demanded. “She’s not worth it.”

  Kimmy grinned evilly, taunting him.

  Danny clenched his fists. “This isn’t over Kimmy. When this ends, everyone will know the truth about you. What the hell happened to you?” He added heatedly.

  Kimmy rolled her eyes. “Oh I’m so scared! You made me this way Danny. You just had to go and ruin what we had when you had that car accident. You changed and destroyed what we had!”

  Danny shook his head wearily. “Then why did Lance tell me that you’re so determined to win me back, huh?”

  Kimmy glared at Danny. “Oh, are you two all chummy again? I should’ve known! You ruined what we had so I decided to repay the favour.”

  “Really Kimmy? If you couldn’t have me then no-one could – is that it?” Danny asked, clearly disgusted.

  Kimmy shrugged. “Hey, what can I say – you ruined any chance of happiness I had.”

  “You can’t blame me Kimmy.” Danny told her furiously. “I can’t help that I changed after the accident. I lost my brother that day – of course I changed! And as far as I can remember, you were too disgusted to even look at me when you found out that my face wasn’t perfect anymore!”

  Kimmy narrowed her eyes at Danny. “You weren’t the guy I liked anymore!”

  Danny shook his head. “And you wonder why you’re unhappy? There’s more to life than looks Kimmy. Maybe if you’d stop being so shallow, you’d realise that!”

  She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I can’t even remember why I wanted you back in the first place! You know, you two deserve each other! I mean she killed her father and you killed your brother – you’re a match made in heaven!”

  I watched as Danny’s face darkened; he looked murderous.

  “Danny.” I warned. “Don’t. It’s what she wants.”

  “Get out.” Danny told her coldly, clearly forcing himself to keep calm.

  Kimmy glared at Danny and then me before she eventually left us alone.

  We sat in silence until there was a knock on the door.

  “Danny? You’re up man!” came Lance’s voice.

  I glanced at Danny and forced myself to give him an encouraging smile.

  “Go.” I told him. “I’m fine now.”

  He didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure?”

  I nodded, stood up, and walked to the door just to prove that I was okay.

  “See? Now go. I wanna see you win this thing.” I told him, trying my best to hide the pain that rippled through my leg.

  Danny nodded. “Okay, come on. Let’s go.”

  I forced myself to walk steadily as we left the changing rooms and settled myself on the bench to watch Danny compete. However, before the race started, an official made his way over to me and enquired if I was fit enough to compete. I nodded even though my leg throbbed; I wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

  The horn blared, starting off the boys’ race and I watched Danny in amazement. Unsurprisingly, he ended up qualifying for the Finals along with Lance and Gary Whitman. Now it was time for me to face the final race. This was it.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  The final race to determine the winner of ‘A Thousand Leagues’ would involve the four styles of swimming combined – the Individual Medley (IM). We were told that the IM race used all four strokes in order: butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, and freestyle. Within each one of those portions of the race, we had to follow the rules for that stroke:

  Before switching from one stroke to another, we had to touch the wall in the same way we would have if it was the end of the race for that particular stroke:

  Butterfly was a two hand touch, belly down.

  Backstroke was a one hand touch, belly up.

  Breaststroke was a two hand touch, belly down.

  Freestyle – used to finish the race – was a one hand touch, belly down.

  Sucking in a deep breath, I walked to my starting position and prayed that Kimmy would lose. I glanced over at my other competitors: Tracey Nixon, Sarah Nolan, Quinn Silverman and Frances Darkwood – I had a feeling that it was going to be a close call.

  The horn blared and the pain hit me straight away. My leg burned and I was in total agony – mentally and physically. Kimmy’s vile taunts echoed in my brain as I pushed myself through the water. As I willed myself to keep going, I was bombarded with images of my father, the day of the accident and the car crash.

  I fought the flashbacks with every fibre of my being. With each stroke through the water, my muscles burned, reminding me of the reason why I was competing in the first place.

  I felt myself tiring and slowing down. I was tempted to give up but I knew that I’d regret it if I did. Allowing myself to glance at my competition, I saw that Kimmy was leading, Tracey was second, Quinn was third and I was currently fourth.

  It came to the breaststroke and the order shifted. Kimmy was still first and Tracey was still second but this time, I managed to overtake Quinn. I was running out of time and energy to beat Kimmy but I wasn’t about to give up just yet. I propelled myself through the water and tried to ignore the burning sensation in my
leg.

  Fighting back tears of pain, I finished the breaststroke with difficulty. However, the fact that I was now onto the last part of the race made my struggle just a little bit easier. I was now so close to finishing my goal that I just needed to make sure that Kimmy didn’t win and I would finally feel like I had achieved something.

  The freestyle started and I focused solely on finishing the race. Glancing at the others, I found that I was somehow now in second place, Tracey was third, and Kimmy was still first. However, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Kimmy was slowing down; this was my chance.

  Summoning up every last bit of strength that I possessed, I forced my tired, aching muscles to the brink of total exhaustion. Miraculously, I overtook Kimmy and even though I was now in first place, I felt that I couldn’t hold out much longer.

  Gritting my teeth, the burning sensation in my leg reached its peak and I felt myself slowing down. There was just one lap left and it killed me that I was growing weaker with every stroke.

  Suddenly, white-hot pain washed over me and I resigned myself to the fact that I probably wouldn’t make it. Blinded by tears, I found myself debating giving up. However, something forced me to look over at Tracey and I could see that she was speeding up.

  As I felt a sickening tightness in my leg, I closed my eyes, pushed myself the last metre, and finally heard the horn blare as the race ended.

  I was too disorientated from pain to realise who had won straight away but as I gulped in fresh air, I heard the announcer with the results.

  “After a close final, the results are in. In first place and the winner of the girls’ ‘A Thousand Leagues’ race is … Tracey Nixon! In second place, just by two tenths of a second, is Darcie Gilmore and finishing thirty two seconds later in third place is Kimmy Grayson.”

  The cheers erupted but I couldn’t enjoy the fact that I had completed the race. Instead, I was in agony and found myself hauled out of the pool by Danny and one of the officials.

  I was then carried over to one of the medics and was dimly aware of Danny looking down at me in concern.