Learning to Breathe

by J. C. McClean

  “Darcie, can you hear me?” Danny asked worriedly.

  I nodded. “My leg …” I groaned.

  I winced as the medic inspected my leg.

  Danny squeezed my hand as I gasped out in pain.

  The medic eyed me carefully. “Okay Darcie, I’m Tony. I know that hurts but I’m gonna give you something for the pain, okay? I think you’ve pulled muscles in your leg so we’ll have to get you to a hospital immediately.”

  Danny’s face loomed over me. “I’m going with you Darcie.”

  I shook my head. “No! You need to finish the competition.”

  “You’re more important!” Danny argued.

  “No!” I protested. “Finish the competition for me, please.”

  Danny started to argue again but I stopped him.

  “No Danny, don’t. Stay and finish the race.”

  Reluctantly, Danny nodded and gave me that lopsided grin.

  “Okay. I’ll see you after the race, I promise.”

  I smiled weakly and felt him give me a kiss before I eventually succumbed to the pain medication.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  I woke up in the hospital a few hours later. A quick glance around revealed that Danny hadn’t arrived yet and I felt very disappointed. However, my mother was dozing lightly in the chair beside me so at least I had someone to keep me company.

  It was then that my gaze flickered over to the door; Harriet was standing in the doorway.

  “Why am I getting a sense of déjà vu?” I joked.

  Harriet smiled weakly. “Why am I always visiting you in the hospital?”

  I shrugged. “I have really bad luck?”

  “Yeah, you do.” Harriet chuckled. “So, how’s your leg?”

  “Oh it’s fine … painkillers are a wonderful invention!” I said, laughing.

  That was when my mother woke up.

  “Oh Darcie, honey, you gave us all quite a scare.”

  I nodded. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  My mother smiled. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re awake. Listen, I’m gonna grab a coffee and leave you girls alone to catch up. I’ll be back in a while.”

  I smiled, watched my mother leave, and then beckoned Harriet into the room.

  “So,” I began. “What did I miss?”

  Harriet shifted uneasily in the chair beside my bed. “I’m sorry about your dad!” she blurted out suddenly, looking awkward.

  I glanced down at the horrible, white hospital bed sheets and sucked in a deep breath.

  “Does everyone know now?”

  I heard Harriet sigh deeply and looked up.

  She nodded her head. “Yeah, the whole thing came spilling out after you left for the hospital. I believe Kimmy’s parents weren’t very happy with her actions.”

  “I’ll bet.” I remarked.

  Harriet let out a small chuckle and then looked at me intently. “Why’d you keep going?”

  “I couldn’t let her win. I had to finish.” I told her truthfully.

  Harriet smirked. “I don’t blame you … that Kimmy one seems like a real bitch.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, that would be putting it mildly!”

  Harriet laughed and then turned serious. “I really am sorry about your dad. Oh and I heard what happened to Danny’s brother too …” she trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

  “Yeah, I’m surprised he never told any of you guys before.” I told her; genuinely curious about why he’d kept it from Harriet and everyone else.

  Harriet shrugged. “I remember us all asking about the scars when he first moved here. But when he seemed reluctant to talk about it, we backed off and never mentioned it again.”

  “Well, speaking of Danny, where is he? Who won the competition?” I asked eagerly.

  “I dunno where he is.” Harriet told me, trying to act nonchalant but I could tell something was up.

  “What?” I demanded. “What do you know?”

  Harriet grinned. “I’m not saying a thing!”

  I rolled my eyes. “Ugh, what use are you?”

  “Jeez, nice to know you think a lot of me.” Harriet joked, a small smirk slipping onto her face while she stood up, ready to leave.

  “Are you going?” I asked sadly, disappointed that she was leaving me already.

  Harriet nodded. “Sorry but I gotta meet Samuel. Catch you later.” And with a wink, she disappeared out the door.

  A little while later and Danny eventually appeared in the doorway, armed with a massive bunch of flowers and several ‘get well’ balloons.

  Ignoring his gifts, I stared at him. “Where the hell have you been?” I demanded.

  He smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. I know I’m late.”

  I frowned at him. “Is that all you’re gonna say? Who won? What happened after I left?”

  Danny entered the room slowly, putting the flowers on my bedside cabinet before he sat down and sighed heavily.

  “How’s your leg?” he eventually asked.

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine! Now answer my question!” I yelled, frustrated.

  He glanced at me and then slowly started smiling that lopsided smile of his.

  “I did it Darcie. I won!” he told me excitedly.

  “What?” I cried loudly, resisting the urge to punch him on the arm for keeping me in suspense for so long.

  He leapt from the chair and hugged me. “I still don’t know how I did it.”

  I shook my head. “I knew you could do it. So what are you gonna spend your winnings on?” I looked at him expectantly.

  Danny flashed me that lopsided grin. “Oh I have a few ideas.”

  He didn’t elaborate any further as Dr Kennedy entered the room along with my mother.

  “Ms Gilmore, we meet again.” Dr Kennedy announced drily.

  I smirked. “Yeah, what can I say? I just love hospital food!”

  Dr Kennedy chuckled. “Well, I daresay that you’ve seen quite enough of it this last while.”

  “You can say that again.” I replied with a laugh. “So, what’s the damage this time?”

  Dr Kennedy shook his head. “When you do something Darcie, you do it right. May I ask why you ignored my advice and competed anyway?”

  I smiled sheepishly. “I’m too stubborn to give up?” I suggested.

  “Indeed.” Dr Kennedy remarked. “Well, you’ve really hurt yourself this time.”

  I shrugged. “It was worth it.”

  Dr Kennedy raised his eyebrows. “It was worth competing even though it caused you Grade 2 muscle damage in your calf?”

  I glanced at him nervously. “How bad is Grade 2?”

  Dr Kennedy sighed. “Put it this way – be thankful it’s not Grade 3 but it’s still not good. There is partial tearing of the muscle fibres in your right leg, which means it’s going to take at least 5 weeks for a full recovery. Realistically though, it’s more a case of 8 weeks.”

  I groaned. “Great. When can I go home?”

  Dr Kennedy glanced at my mother and then back at me. “Well, as long as you abide by my advice this time, you can go home tonight.”

  I perked up. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Yes but I must stress that you obey all of my directions.”

  I nodded. “I will Dr Kennedy, I promise!”

  Dr Kennedy laughed. “Okay, first of all no swimming! You need to avoid activities that will cause you pain. Any impact activity or excessive stretching will not do you any favours, understood?”

  I nodded obediently. “Okay, what else?”

  “I think it’s best if we tape up your leg.” Dr Kennedy continued. “Taping your calf will reduce the pain and help protect you from further injury. After that, it’s a case of stretching exercises. However, I’m not going to go into that today though because I’ll want to check up on you before we go down that route.”

  “Is that it then?” I asked eagerly.

  Dr Kennedy nodded. “Yes, after I get you taped up, I’ll sort out everything to get you ready to be discharged.
”

  I grinned. “Thanks.”

  He smiled. “No problem.” He turned to leave but paused at the doorway. “Oh and Ms Gilmore, hopefully this will be the last time you’ll have to endure hospital food.”

  I laughed and then glanced at my mother and Danny who were both looking at me with raised eyebrows. “What?”

  “Nothing.” Danny said. “I’m just shocked that you’re actually going to listen to Dr Kennedy this time.”

  I laughed. “What? The competition’s over so I’m in no hurry to do anything. Plus, my leg’s aching like nothing normal – even if I wanted to do something, I don’t think I’d be able to!”

  “Well,” Danny began, “I hope you’ll be able to go to dinner with me tonight.”

  I glanced at him. “That depends on how far I have to walk … or limp in my case.” I added with a grin.

  Danny smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there to catch you if you fall.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be so cheesy!”

  “Hey,” my mother interrupted, “give the boy a break. I thought it was romantic!”

  Danny threw her a crooked grin while I threw my head back and laughed.

  “Oh Mum,” I chuckled, “don’t encourage him … he’s cocky enough already!”

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  It turned out that dinner included everyone and not just Danny. My mother, William, Danny’s parents and even Harriet and Samuel, joined us. It was nice to catch up with everyone and just forget everything that had happened in the last week.

  After dinner, Danny and I decided to take a walk around the park – well more like Danny walked and I limped. Eventually, we sat down on one of the benches and I turned to Danny.

  “So, I never got the chance to ask before … what happened with Kimmy?”

  Danny looked at me, the scars on his face illuminated by the moonlight. In that moment, to me, he couldn’t look more perfect.

  He sighed heavily. “Oh, well since the competition had ended when they found out what she had done, they couldn’t really do anything.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I figured she’d get away with it.”

  Danny suddenly smirked. “Well, Lance did dump her ass in front of everyone, if that makes you feel better.”

  “What? No way!” I wasn’t too surprised by this news but it still felt good knowing that karma came to bite Kimmy in the ass.

  Danny chuckled and nodded. “She was furious. It was actually quite entertaining to watch.”

  I chuckled. “Cool but it’s a pity that I missed it.”

  Danny threw an arm around my shoulder and gave me an affectionate squeeze. “Hey, I’m just glad that you’re okay.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it’s just a shame that I won’t be able to swim with you anymore for the next few weeks.”

  Danny laughed. “Yeah, you sound really disappointed.”

  I smirked but then turned serious. “Yeah, well I appreciate all of your help over this past year. I couldn’t have done it otherwise.”

  Danny threw me that adorable lopsided smile. “Hey, you did all of the hard work. Your dad would be proud of you.”

  I nodded, smiling sadly. “I hope so.”

  “I know so.” Danny replied with a small smile.

  “So,” I began, changing the subject. “What are you gonna do with your winnings?”

  Danny grinned. “How do you feel about a holiday?”

  I raised my eyebrows, surprised. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, I think we both deserve a break. It’ll be a chance to forget everything and just enjoy ourselves. So, what do you say? The third week of August; me, you … Rome?”

  “Rome?” I repeated.

  Danny nodded. “It’s already booked. A certain someone didn’t mention it was their birthday next week!”

  I frowned. “Who told you?”

  Danny grinned. “Your mother … who else?”

  I shook my head and laughed. “I should’ve known.”

  Danny shrugged. “She actually suggested it. After all, you don’t turn eighteen every day.”

  Frowning, I stared at him. “And she’s okay with it being just the two of us?”

  “Yes.” Danny replied with a smirk.

  Shaking my head, I let out a low laugh. “How the hell did you convince her?”

  Danny merely smiled that crooked smile and said, “You worry too much Gilmore.”

  Amazed by his infamous powers of persuasion, I decided to let it go. After all, who was I to argue about spending a week in Rome with the guy I loved?

  Epilogue

  The rest of June was a blur. We both completed our exams and I had a small, uneventful birthday party.

  July involved a lot of recuperation on my part. Both Dr Kennedy and Danny helped me on my road to recovery and by the first week of August, my leg was almost back to normal.

  The third week of August was our trip to Rome. It was hot and humid but also a lot of fun. It was a blur of sightseeing, ice-cream and crazy drivers.

  When September arrived, we were pleased to find out that we had passed our exams. However, we still had a few decisions to make concerning our futures.

  In the end, everything worked out.

  It turned out that Danny was accepted to study paramedic science at the local university. He also decided to remain working as a lifeguard at the pool but only part-time while he studied.

  As for me, I was thrilled to be accepted to study Psychology at the local university too, specialising in Education. I also decided to train as a lifeguard part-time. Danny had encouraged me to do it and I had found myself intrigued enough to enrol.

  It was strange to think that – in just over a year – the very thing that I had hated was something that I had learned to love. I had finally conquered my fear of water and actually found joy in swimming now.

  As for the nightmares, I’m not going to lie … they still haunt me occasionally. I know they’ll never disappear entirely but, in a way, I’m glad. Yes, they make me relive the worst moment of my life but they also remind me of how I found the strength to overcome them and not let them consume me.

  In the end, Danny saved me. As clichéd as it sounds, it’s still true. He didn’t give up on me and supported me every step of the way – through every stumble and earth-shattering fall. Him and that ridiculously cute lopsided smile made me feel happy again … made me live again.

  Another bonus is the strong bond that my mother and I now share. If it wasn’t for her relentless pursuit of ways to help me, I fear that I would still be trapped in that dark, murky world that is grief.

  Grief is a funny thing. We all have our own ways of coping with it – some healthy … some not so healthy.

  So, for everyone who has ever lost someone close to them … the pain may never fade completely and you may feel like giving up but know that things will get better. It’s not going to be easy and it will be the hardest thing you will ever do but eventually … we all learn to breathe again …