How to Liv

by Megan Keith

  “I like these,” he said, tugging on my lacy white knickers, “they’re very sexy.”

  I sighed with relief, glad that I’d put on a nice pair on the off chance that we would get this far. Though I hadn’t realised that he would pay such close attention. Note to self, Joel likes sexy underwear. He swiped my knickers to the side. And he has no intention of taking them off apparently. I gasped when he finally touched me with his tongue; long, slow licks had me panting loudly.

  He licked me persistently, his tongue continued to quicken and then slow, quicken and slow, bringing me to the edge and then right back down again, over and over. After a while, I felt my legs start to go weak, forced apart and not allowed to move they began to shake a little. His hands remained firmly on my thighs, keeping me in place, and I desperately needed them on me, or in me, or something. He was driving me crazy in a way I had never felt before. I almost felt like crying at his intense and unrelenting torture. When I was just about to beg for him to put his fingers inside me, the first pulses of pleasure hit. Wave after wave, they continued over and over, and built up in strength as I was pushed over the edge screaming out loudly as I went. It was the most powerful orgasm I had ever felt and I was left gasping for air, my legs like jelly as Joel continued to move his hands all over my body.

  He gently lifted my leg from the bed end and placed it back on the floor. My legs continued to shake as I tried to even out my breathing. With my eyes closed and my body still jumping every so often I felt a satisfied smile creep across my face. What was that? I didn’t know I could come quite like that!

  I felt a weight shift over me and I opened my eyes to see Joel looking down at me, his face full of desire. He pushed himself against me making me realise that he was now completely naked and ready for me. He pushed again, hard, against my damp knickers that were unfortunately back in place. He pushed again, harder still, almost entering me but for the scrap of material stopping him from giving me more than his tip. I groaned in pleasure and wrapped my legs around his waist needing him closer, the strip of wet fabric between us only getting in the way. He looked in my eyes as if he was about to scold me when I realised that I wasn’t meant to move, he hadn’t told me to.

  “Sorry,” I said, loosening my legs and putting them back where he had left them, dangling from the side of the bed. He didn’t respond but instead pushed my knickers to the side again and slid easily inside. First with his fingers, in and out a couple of times and then he teased me by rubbing his cock against my clit before finally entering. I let out a gasp at the feel of him. He filled me perfectly and deliciously. He slowly pulled out and then harshly thrust back in, twice, before stilling and kissing me forcefully on the lips.

  I kissed him back, thrusting my tongue in his mouth. I was so tempted to thrust my hips toward him too, or even wriggle from side to side a little, but he hadn’t told me that I could and I loved that he was in control. He remained still as our mouths feasted on each other, and I desperately needed him to move inside me. I had never enjoyed being told what to do by anyone, ever. I was an independent woman, but for some reason I felt that I would do whatever this man told me. From now on I was his.

  So I stayed still, awaiting his instruction, as he slowly started moving inside me, finally. It wasn’t enough though, I needed more.

  “Please Joel,” I pleaded, it was all I could think to do if I wasn’t meant to move.

  “What?” he breathed out, his eyes connecting with mine. “Liv, what is it you want?” I’d never been one for dirty talk. It embarrassed me, I always felt like an idiot. I loved the sound of his voice though, even if I couldn’t respond. “Do you like it like this? Do you want me to fuck you slow? Or do you want it harder?”

  He continued to go gently, torturously slow and not deep enough. He was looking down on me, waiting for a response. I struggled to speak.

  “Harder,” I whispered, feeling my cheeks heat. His pace didn’t increase. I knew he’d heard me, but I also knew that he wanted me to beg. “Harder,” I repeated louder. His pace quickened a little but he still wasn’t deep enough.

  “Say it.”

  “Please Joel, fuck me harder!” I yelled, finding my voice, and his face lit up at that. I was pleased that I had obviously given him what he wanted. And now I’m going to get what I want.

  “Wrap your legs around me,” he instructed as he braced himself above me. His legs were still on the ground, his feet near mine. I did as I was told and wrapped my legs around his waist. One of his hands came up to where mine still rested above my head on the bed, crossed at the wrists. He tugged at them. “Touch me,” he whispered. So I did.

  My hands roamed up his hard chest, over his broad shoulders and down his strong back. I moved to his neck and his face as we kissed. Then he pulled away before ramming back into me again. He nipped at my lips then down my throat as I kissed behind his ear and sucked on his lobe. He rode me hard while I squeezed him with my thighs. Our kisses were desperate and passionate, hurried and frenzied. His hands found my breasts and eventually so did his mouth.

  I was consumed by this man whose chest was now pressing into mine. His lips again latched onto mine while he pummelled into me time and time again.

  This guy had endurance and I continued to moan and ‘yes’ over and over, louder than I probably had ever been before. Joel made me feel desperate and content at the same time. I couldn’t get enough of him. I loved the way he was making me feel, so full of desire and need. He kept going and going and, as he’d given me permission to move, I was meeting him thrust for thrust. Eventually I watched him come undone. He arched his back and jolted, as his legs struggled to find their footing on the floor at the side of the bed. I could feel his legs scrambling as he came, it almost felt as though he was trying to desperately climb inside me further. He jolted once more and then dropped his full weight on top of me.

  He was heavy and hot, and I welcomed it. We were both wet with sweat and panting loudly. Joel’s heavy breathing in my ear matching mine as I gasped for air. My throat was dry from all the moaning and I was having trouble swallowing. I was so out of breath I felt like I had just run a marathon. I badly needed a drink of water or something, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to move from beneath this man. He seemed just as reluctant to go anywhere as I was and so we lay like that for a few minutes.

  When our breathing evened out and Joel still hadn’t moved, I nudged his shoulder. He lifted instantly, pulling out and rolling off me. Then he dragged me up the bed so that we both finally had our whole bodies on it. He tucked me under his arm, my head resting on his shoulder and he let out a big sigh. I copied him and closed my eyes enjoying the comfort and warmth of finally having a man in (or on) my bed.

  I lay there listening to him breathe, happily sated. I’d just had the best sex of my life. I wondered if it was anything special for him. Or was it always like that for him? And was he always so bossy in bed? It surprised me, he could be shy and even nervous at times, but in bed Joel was not quite who I thought he was, he was… more. The bossiness wasn’t anything I had come across before, but I really liked it, and wouldn’t mind experiencing that again, and soon.

  “Are you alright?” he asked softly, breaking the silence, his arm giving mine a bit of a squeeze.

  “I’m more than alright,” I mumbled through my smile, trying not to giggle. As much as I needed him to know I’d enjoyed myself, I didn’t want him to think I was totally inexperienced. I probably shouldn’t voice my ‘best sex ever’ thoughts just in case he didn’t think it was anything spectacular. I’d had plenty of sexual partners in the past, and although they weren’t all bad, some really good, none of them compared to the earth-shattering experience I’d just had with Joel.

  “Sorry if I got carried away,” Joel mumbled, “I hope I didn’t offend you.”

  “Offend me?” I pulled myself up on my elbow to look at him. He looked sheepishly at me, the shyness was back.

  “I’m sorry, I should have been more gentle a
nd-”

  “It was perfect,” I said silencing him. He didn’t look convinced, so I pulled myself upwards to kiss him on the lips. Pulling back slightly and cupping his cheek, I gazed into his eyes so that he could feel my meaning. I smiled. “Really perfect.”

  He smiled back at me, losing that vulnerability instantly. A smug look washed over his face and I almost wanted to take it back. Almost.

  “Phew.” He closed his eyes tightly, the smile still playing on his lips. I stayed where I was, resting on my elbow, my face hovering above his. I could stay like this all night, I thought with a smile. Which I immediately dropped when the look on his face changed a moment later. He opened his eyes in a look of panic. “Fuck! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry- I didn’t think!” I jumped back at his words and he sat up. I started to panic too, even though I had no idea what he was on about.

  “What?”

  “I didn’t mean to blow my load… in you.”

  “Oh.” It took me a moment to realise the gravity of the situation. We’d got so carried away that we hadn’t even thought about protection. Fuck! How bloody stupid of me!

  “Oh Liv, shit, I- I just got… I wanted you so bad I couldn’t see through the fog,” he spurted out in a rush.

  I started laughing hysterically. Not sure why exactly, maybe because he used the word fog. Maybe it was just because I was so euphoric from having the best sex I’d ever had. Or maybe it was because I’d just found that Joel and I matched in every conceivable way. I don’t know, but I laughed anyway. I could see his meaning about the fog though, my mind did get rather clouded there, too. Joel was looking at me with a worried face, he probably thought I was losing my mind. Maybe I was. I can’t believe I just had unprotected sex. I’ve never done that before.

  “Okay, let’s think about this rationally,” I said through my laughter.

  “Rationally? You’re the one laughing like a fuckin’ loon.” He smiled at me, nudging my shoulder and I instantly relaxed, suppressing my laugh.

  Yes, rationally. Okay. I’d just finished my period so it was highly unlikely that I could get pregnant. I knew I wasn’t carrying any STDs, but was he? Oh god, was he? I knew nothing of his sex life, what was I thinking? Joel saw the look of panic on my face and his smile again disappeared.

  “I’m sorry babe, I fucked up.” Babe? Joel pulled his knees up, rested his arms across them and hung his head.

  “Joel.” I put my hand on the back of his neck and started playing with his hair. He really was taking all the blame and I felt the need to console him, but the use of the word ‘babe’ had my heart melting towards the guy and I couldn’t think straight. I took a deep breath. “It wasn’t entirely your fault, it was just as much mine, and I can assure you I’m clean.”

  “Oh god, I’m not worried about me.” His head flicked back in my direction, and the look he gave me was one look of utter reassurance. “I’m clean too, I promise.” I truly trusted him on that. “But… what if you never want to see me again and then weeks later you find out your pregnant?”

  His words shocked me and I could tell by the look on his face he was serious. He’s worried I won’t want to see him again? What is that about? After what we just did, the moment that we shared, I wondered why he would think that. I never would have imagined Joel was that insecure, but right then he was, incredibly so.

  “It’s the wrong time of the month for me to get pregnant.”

  “Really?”

  “And as for me not wanting to see you again… well, that’s just not going to happen,” I said with a confident smile.

  I surprised myself by actually getting those words out and Joel looked just as shocked as I felt. A huge smile broke across his face and his hand came up around the back of my neck, pulling me to him. He rested his forehead against mine, his fingers tangling in my hair and caressing me as he closed his eyes and inhaled.

  “I am so happy to hear that.” He let out a sigh before opening his eyes again and kissing me. I returned his kiss but just as it began to deepen and we both started to lay back down, I realised where we were headed and put the brakes on.

  “Okay,” I said, pulling my lips from his and sitting back up. “I may be fairly confident that I cannot get pregnant right now, but I’m not willing to take any more chances.”

  “Of course,” he said, trying, and failing, to hide his disappointment. I felt just as disappointed as he did.

  “I don’t have any condoms and I’m not on the pill,” I explained further. I haven’t needed to be, it’s been a long time between partners for me.

  Joel looked at me for a moment and then, understanding setting in, made a move to stand up. I reluctantly removed my hands from him and watched as he picked his shorts up from the floor and put them on. Realising he was going home I lay back down against the pillows in silence. I was disappointed he was leaving so soon. Looking at the time I saw that it had just gone six o’clock. Joel glanced at the clock beside my bed, too, and then looked back at me.

  “C’mon, if we hurry we can probably make a seven o’clock movie,” he said, taking me by surprise. He leaned across the bed to take my hand, pulling me back to a sitting position. I blinked a couple of times trying to take his words in. He was going to take me to a movie?

  “A movie?”

  “Unless you’d rather do something else…” Taking in whatever my current expression was, he looked concerned for a moment and I wondered what thoughts were going through his head, as if in answer, he said, “Please stop looking at me like that. You’re making me hard. I can’t stay here like this while you’re all...” he gestured to my near-naked body, I still had a pair of soaked knickers on, “…like that.”

  I giggled at his words and then reluctantly slid off the side of the bed stopping in front of him. I watched as he closed his eyes and groaned as if in pain.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, worry evident in my voice.

  He opened his eyes and pointed to the apex of my thighs. “It’s just… I really like the look of your knickers soaked with my cum.”

  His words jolted me. I wasn’t used to talk like that.

  “Really?” I choked on a whisper.

  He took a step closer, grabbed my hand and rubbed it on his jeans.

  “You feel what you’re doing to me?”

  Oh I felt it alright, he was rock hard. I gave him a quick squeeze and watched his eyes go wide, then I leaned up to give him a kiss on the lips.

  “A movie sounds great.” I beamed at him before grabbing my dress and bra from the floor and a fresh pair of knickers from the drawer.

  Joel openly stared at my body. Normally I would feel really self-conscious but for some reason he made me feel confident. When I got to the doorway I gave him a little wiggle of my butt. Glancing over my shoulder, I caught him throwing his head back with a cheeky grin on his face.

  “You’re killing me!” he called out when I walked away, making me chuckle as I shut the bathroom door.

  When we got to the cinemas it was packed. We joined the queue and looked up at the electronic board trying to decide what to watch. I had no idea what most of the movies were and it seemed neither did Joel. We eventually decided on Pitch Perfect as it was at least one that we had both heard of. Joel continued to hold my hand as we slowly made our way up the long line. I had never felt happier than in that moment. It was a moment of clarity for me. It hit me. I finally had scored a boyfriend - I had no doubt Joel was exactly that. My boyfriend. I knew that it had happened fast, but I also knew it felt just right. From the moment he mentioned going to a movie I realised he was just as reluctant to part as I was. This was a beginning of a new relationship and I couldn’t stop smiling.

  We finally purchased our tickets and then lined up again at the food counter, luckily that line was not as long.

  “Mmm I love the smell of popcorn,” I said on a deep breath.

  “You want some?” Joel asked, leaning down to me. I scrunched up my nose. “No?”

  “I love the smell, b
ut I don’t really like to eat it much.” Joel looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face. “What?”

  “You’re perfect, you know that?”

  I blushed at his words. How does he expect me to respond to that?

  “I feel the exact same way about popcorn,” he continued. The corners of his mouth turned upwards and I knew he was kidding.

  “You do not!” I nudged him with my elbow, a wide grin on my face.

  “No I don’t. You’re right. I love the stuff and you’re just weird.” He pulled me closer against him and kissed me on top of my head.

  We purchased our peppermint choc top ice creams (something we did agree on – they were the best!) soft drinks and Joel’s popcorn then lined up again outside the theatre.

  “Do you ever get the feeling that all we ever do is line up around here?” Joel asked me at one point, it seemed to be the magic words as we got to enter the cinema soon after. I automatically pulled Joel along to the centre of the theatre and sat down. “Best seats in the house.” Yet another thing we agree on.

  The movie was great, but I found that it was very hard to concentrate on it with Joel by my side. It had been such a perfect day and my mind was reeling at the thought of a future with him. I may have been getting ahead of myself, but I couldn’t help it. And when Joel consistently snuck looks in my direction, as I did his, I really felt that he was feeling the same as me. We both wore big grins and constantly found ways for our bodies to connect in some small way. We were like two magnets in that theatre and when Joel finally put his arm around me and kissed me on the side of my face, I really couldn’t have been happier.

  After the movie we went to a little café nearby for a bite to eat. There was a strip of restaurants just outside the cinema complex. Even though the sun was now down, it was still really quite hot out, so instead of sitting outside like I had done here before, we opted for air-conditioned comfort inside. Neither of us were that hungry so we just ordered a trio of dips with pita bread to share. We chatted about nothing in particular as we ate.