How to Liv

by Megan Keith

  This particular spot obviously means a lot to him and I feel honoured that he brought me here. A small flash of colour caught my eye, it took me a moment to focus on it.

  “Can you see that bird? It’s so pretty.” I said.

  “Where?”

  “Right there.” I pointed. Joel moved his head closer to mine so he could follow my extended arm with his eyes. His head was so close to me that I could feel my hair rustling slightly against his.

  “Oh yeah, I see it.”

  “It’s so tiny,” I exclaimed.

  We watched in silence as the bird flittered from branch to branch. Instead of moving his head away to straighten his neck out, Joel moved the rest of his body over to me. I was highly aware of how close we were, not quite touching, but almost. I glanced in his direction and noticed the small smile playing on his lips. When his head began to move my way I quickly looked back to the bird unable to contain the smile breaking out on my face.

  “Joking aside,” I said, referring to my earlier comment, “I do know what you mean, about getting brought back down to earth.” I watched the bird fly away. “Take that bird for instance, so tiny in such a large world. I wonder what’s on his or her mind, whatever it is it won’t affect me. If I’m struggling to find a way to pay a bill or something, that isn’t going to alter that bird’s life, just like seeing that bird won’t change my situation. Life goes on, no matter what I’m worrying about.”

  “You get it,” Joel said quietly after a moment of silence.

  I turned my head slightly to face him. We were so close I could feel his breath on my face. His eyes were on mine, the look conveying an emotion that I couldn’t quite name. It seemed we were on the same wavelength – it was nice.

  After a moment of gazing at one another he looked away and back up to the sky, so I did the same. Another moment later my eyes drifted, of their own accord, back in his direction. His were closed. I swallowed hard as I got the chance to really look at his features, relaxed and content. His skin was darker than mine, sun-kissed, light blond hairs on his arms. I watched his chest rise and fall as he breathed and wondered if he was just as tanned underneath his t-shirt. It was obvious that he was muscular under there, I could already make that out. My eyes drifted up his body to his face. He looked so peaceful with his eyes shut. Almost as if he was sleeping, but I’m sure he wasn’t. I’m not that boring. His facial features were so perfectly proportioned I’m sure he could get work as a model. I know I’d buy whatever he was selling. Clear skin, just the right amount of stubble, perfectly shaped eyebrows, nose, lips…

  He must have felt my eyes on him because he opened his and turned toward me, this time focusing on my mouth. I swallowed and tilted my head toward him. He leaned forward to catch my lips against his in a soft and gentle, quick kiss. He looked at me for a moment and then he sat up, so I did too. I grabbed my can of lemonade just for something to do. I felt awkward suddenly and needed to do something with my hands.

  When the silence stretched out between us I started to wonder if maybe he wanted to take the kiss back. Was it an accident? Maybe he regretted it. I know I didn’t.

  “So you said you have family around here?” I asked, trying to get the conversation flowing again. When he didn’t answer I turned in his direction once more.

  “Yeah,” he answered distractedly, staring at my lips, his head inching towards mine.

  I closed the gap, leaning into him and our lips met once more. We both paused, our mouths just touching for a moment before Joel increased the pressure. His lips, warm and soft, moved slowly against mine. He tasted sweet, like lollies (probably the sugar from his Coke lingering on his lips). His tongue lightly traced my bottom lip and I opened up for him as he kissed me once more.

  Our faces parted and we maintained eye contact as Joel moved his body closer to mine. His hand glided to the side of my face and he pulled me in for another kiss. This one was a little longer and so loving and tender that my breath caught and my heart almost gave way.

  He pulled away again but this time I followed, my lips chasing his, the reconnection causing me to drop my can of soft drink so that I too, could use my hands. Putting one on the back of his neck and the other on his shoulder, I pulled him closer to me. I involuntarily let out a small moan as his tongue re-entered my mouth. That caused his other hand to reach around to my lower back pulling us even closer still. Chest to chest, my heart raced against his as our kisses turned even more passionate. When I lightly bit his bottom lip, he pulled back with a low groan.

  “Tell me about your job Liv.”

  “Huh?” I blinked at him. Did I hear that right? Weren’t we just kissing?

  “I need you to distract me,” he explained on a low breath. “Please. Before I do something you might regret later.” He adjusted his shorts as if to prove his point. Glad he’s just as affected as I am then.

  “Oh shit!” I noticed the lemonade running down the slight incline at my side. I righted my near empty can. “Sorry, I’ve spilt lemonade all over your picnic rug.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Joel shrugged. His hand pushed my hair back out of my eyes and I felt myself leaning towards him again. Joel cleared his throat causing me to pause. I blinked.

  “Oh, right… my job… well…”

  And that’s how we spent the next hour. We spoke about anything and everything, while avoiding kissing each other. Although his hand often found a way to touch me; a brush of his knuckle across my cheek, a light touch on my arm, a gentle caress of my hand. It wasn’t one sided either, my hands finding ways to touch him on more than one occasion too. I loved that it seemed important to Joel to get to know me instead of just getting physical, which would be so easy to do. Then again so was the conversation, it was just so easy to talk to him. I told him all about my job and he told me about his. He told me about how he watched someone doing some tiling one time, a couple of years back, and just thought ‘hey, I’d like to try that’. He told me that before that moment, he was just flailing about, not knowing what he wanted to do with his life. I told him it was never a goal of mine to work in a factory, but even so, I loved my job, most of the time. We spoke about movies and music and just about everything. It was comfortable and effortless and exhilarating all at the same time.

  Pulling up in the driveway, I was reluctant to leave Joel’s car. I’d had such a wonderful afternoon and I didn’t want it to end.

  “Would you like to come in?” I asked.

  Joel nodded and shut off the engine. We held hands on the walk up to my front door. He leaned into me a little as I unlocked it. I turned into him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. It felt nice, natural. For some reason it felt right to be able to kiss him whenever I felt like it.

  I walked into the lounge room and turned on the air conditioner on the far wall, glad that Ally wasn’t home. I looked back at Joel who was standing on the opposite side of the room and I noted my gift from earlier on the table behind him.

  “Oh! My Tim Tams will be melting in this heat!”

  “Well you can’t have that!”

  He chuckled as I reached behind him to get them. He purposely moved a little closer so that I brushed against him, the vibration of his laugh only heightening my awareness of his body. His hand brushed mine as I moved away. That’s how it had been all afternoon. Little touches. We were constantly drawn to one another.

  “I’ll just put these in the fridge. Can I get you a cold drink or something?” I asked over my shoulder as I made my way to the kitchen.

  I grabbed the jug of ice cold water and poured myself a glass before he even answered. As I chugged the water I felt Joel’s presence behind me. I put the glass down on the bench and turned around. He leant against me, pushing me gently against the bench with his body as he reached for my glass. He picked it up and sculled the rest of the water. Sighing when he finished, he then placed the glass back on the bench, before he dipped his head to kiss me.

  His lips were cold and wet from the water and yet t
here was a heat involved as well. It felt divine. This kiss was unlike the others, it was hungrier. His slightly cool tongue found mine and desire overtook me. Suddenly there was no holding back. One of his hands was on my breast and my hands were clinging to his strong biceps before moving up to his neck. His other hand wrapped around my back, pulling me closer as my fingers tangled in his hair. He squeezed my breast, rubbing over my nipple and I gasped into his mouth, the feeling bolting down my body, my core tightening. My breath mingled with his and we became melded together, tongues caressing, lips meshing and sucking. Eventually he pulled away and I was trembling with anticipation of where this was headed. We were both out of breath.

  I took a shaky lungful of air and I excused myself to use the bathroom, just needing a moment. This was more than just lust, I was horny, yes, but this was so much more than that. The intensity of what I was already feeling for Joel surprised me, thrilled me, and scared the hell out of me, all at the same time. How can I be feeling such intense feelings for someone I’ve only just met?

  When I returned, Joel was casually leaning against the kitchen bench with his arms and legs crossed. I did the same on the bench opposite him. I eyed his lean, toned body and licked my lips with anticipation.

  “So, this is my kitchen,” I said, making eye contact.

  “It’s nice.”

  Joel’s eyes never left mine. I pointed with my thumb over my shoulder at the lounge room on the other side of the breakfast bar.

  “That’s my lounge room.” He nodded and then I pointed to the dining room on my right. “There’s the dining room.”

  “Very nice,” Joel said but barely looked away from me, his mouth curved into a sexy half-smile.

  “So, I’ve given you the tour. Now what do you want to do?” I asked boldly.

  “You didn’t show me your bedroom,” he deadpanned, crossing the kitchen to stand in front of me. He feathered my arm with his touch, before moving to my hip and squeezing it gently. He pulled me closer and I could feel his obvious arousal against my lower belly.

  “I know what I want to do next. The question is - do you want to do that?” he spoke in a husky voice, meaningfully looking into my eyes so there was no mistaking his intention.

  “Let me guess. It involves my bedroom,” I squeaked out nervously.

  “Only if you want it to.”

  Did I? He leaned in and nuzzled my neck. Oh hell yes I did! I hesitated for only a moment before taking his hand and leading him down the short hall to my bedroom.

  “This is my room,” I said with a shaky voice, while he entered the room and took it all in.

  Glancing around, I was annoyed at myself for not tidying it before I left this morning. I let go of Joel’s hand to hastily grab the clothes off the bed and pile them up on the armchair I had sitting in the corner. Feeling really self-conscious and not sure if I should stand or sit, I took a couple of tentative steps towards the bed. It had been a long time since I’d had a man in my room, and that time he wasn’t somebody I’d only just met. When Joel followed but stayed a little distance away I decided to sit before my shaky legs failed me.

  Joel stood looking down on me with a gleam in his eye, then he suddenly stepped forward, pushing me back against the mattress and straddled me. He leaned down and gave me a tender kiss on the lips and then again on the side of my mouth. My apprehension magically disappeared when he slowly rained soft kisses down my chin and onto my neck. When I felt his hard length against me again I was no longer shy but instead filled with desire. His hand glided gently up under my dress, pushing it from my body, exposing me to him. He barely touched me, his fingertips ghosting along my thigh and on top of my knickers. I lifted slightly for him so he could push my dress above my waist. He then moved his hand up higher, to my left breast and cupped it as his mouth moved down to my right one, kissing me through my thin cotton dress.

  He moved his body down ever so slightly and pressed into me, his erection still above where I needed it to be. I tried to move but was unable to get close enough to get the friction where I wanted it. He had me pinned with his thick, solid thighs and my feet were barely touching the carpet on the side of the bed, I couldn’t get any leverage with the only the tips of my toes. His kisses moved back to my neck and became vicious as he nipped me over and over. He would bite me hard, to the point of pain and then he would softly lick away the hurt and kiss me tenderly again. The throbbing between my legs was becoming unbearable as he put pressure against me, again in the wrong spot. I felt my knickers getting damper by the second as I tried to push him lower.

  “Stop wriggling,” he said demandingly against my neck before nipping my ear. “Let me tease you.” His voice was husky as he continued his assault on my neck with his lips, tongue and teeth. The authority in his words sent another thrill of excitement through me. He pressed harder against me, putting the full weight of his body against mine and I moaned loudly. He moved to where I needed him, finally pressing his jean cladded cock hard against me, just once, and I convulsed in pleasure. Then he removed himself from me completely and I groaned, pressing my legs together.

  He made me feel desperate for his touch, desperate in a way I don’t think I had ever felt before. My body burned with desire as he stood there with lust in his eyes and watched me, half lying on the bed, my toes barely touching the ground. I licked my lips while I watching him undo his belt buckle, then the button of his jean shorts and his fly, but he didn’t take them off or push them down, it was as if he was teasing me then too, by not allowing me to see the goods.

  He slowly ran his fingers gently up my leg and when he reached mid-thigh he squeezed before standing to lean over my body. He kissed me hurriedly, his tongue colliding with mine. I kissed him back ferociously. His hands moved to the bed on either side of my head but other than our mouths we were not connected in any way. I reached up, putting my arms around his neck, planning to move them to his back to push him down on me but he resisted. He stopped kissing me and brought his hands up to my wrists, prying them away from behind his neck and placing them above my head on the bed. He held them there firmly for a moment as he kissed me again and then he let go.

  I didn’t move my arms from where he had placed them but instead watched him in awe of the feelings he was giving me. I watched his fingers work slowly to undo the buttons of my dress. Opening it up wide, he looked back to my eyes for a moment before tugging me forward until I was sitting up again. He gently ran his fingers down the inside of my dress sleeves, causing it to fall away from my arms and pool around my waist. His eyes were continuously focused on mine, his hands gliding gently to my back, sending goose bumps in their wake. He undid the clasp of my bra and slowly slid the straps down my arms before tossing it over his shoulder. I felt savoured as his eyes leisurely wandered my body. He lifted my arms up and pulled my dress over my head, before tossing it over his shoulder too.

  He was again standing in front of me as I perched on the side of the bed. He removed his own t-shirt and I finally got to look at his torso. It was just as defined as I had imagined it to be and made even sexier by the tattoos I was not expecting. I started to run my hands along his hard body, trying to make them out in the dim light of my room, wishing I had opened my blinds so I could see him more clearly. I barely had the chance to look before he pushed me back against the bed again. This time though he came with me, we were bare chest to bare chest. My heart picked up pace at the feel of him, all warmth and hardness as he kissed me firmer than before, biting my bottom lip and then licking it gently. I tried to do the same to him but he again pulled away, leaning over me and no longer touching. I tried to move up the bed to finally lie on it properly but he reached down with a steady hand to hold onto my hip, restraining me.

  “Stay there,” he whispered hoarsely then moved to kneel down on the floor, running his hands down my body as he went. His fingers ran back and forth along the edges of my knickers as I writhed on the bed. “Don’t move,” he commanded and I instantly stilled.
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br />   He smirked up at me from between my legs, thoroughly enjoying my torture. He teased me again by running his fingers along the top inside edge of my knickers but instead of pulling them down like I desperately wanted him to, he pulled them up, the material rubbing against me and instantly soaking. I groaned with pleasure, as well as disappointment. Then he kissed me gently over the top of the material, mumbling, “Mmm… so wet.”

  He continued to kiss me lightly, occasionally nudging me with his nose, while holding me firm with his big hands on my thighs. I tried lifting my body closer to his face to feel more pressure but his hands tightened, forcing my legs against the bed. I moved my hands to his head, tugging gently on his hair before pushing him closer but he resisted and pulled his mouth away completely.

  “Put your hands above your head.”

  I jolted at his stern words, but didn’t move my hands from his hair. He lifted his head, looking up at me in a way that told me if I didn’t do as he said he would not go any further. So I reluctantly did as I was told, unsure of what would have happened next. He smirked at me again and my heart went wild in my chest. I’d never had a lover be so demanding. I found it strangely arousing. I cannot remember ever being turned on by being told what to do.

  “Good. Now don’t move again unless I tell you. Okay?”

  He was poised with his mouth right at my entrance, his warm breath against my damp knickers, while his fingers tickled my inner thigh sending me reeling. He looked at me expectantly and it took me a moment to remember his question, I realised he was actually waiting on my answer.

  “Okay... yes,” I managed to breathe out on a gasp, fighting the urge to move against his mouth. He pushed my legs together, his fingers running up and down my underwear while he dotted gentle kisses all the way around where I needed him to be, never giving me the satisfaction that I craved. I started to wonder if his torment was ever going to end. I was about to beg for him to stop when he grabbed my leg and moved it to the side, forcing my knee to bend. He placed my foot on the wooden bed end and then slightly moved my other leg in the other direction so that I was spread before him.