How to Liv

by Megan Keith

  “Let me guess? That was Joel you were talking to just now?” Karen said when she opened the door. “Gah! Bloody making me sick with that lovey dovey look on your face.”

  I only laughed in response and followed her into the house.

  “Just let me finish my wine and we can head off.” I watched as she sculled the last from her glass and rinsed it in the kitchen sink. “I’m not usually a lone drinker if that’s what you’re wondering.” She gave me a smirk.

  “I wasn’t.”

  “It’s just weird, having the house to myself for more than two nights in a row, I feel I need to do something out of the ordinary.” Grabbing her bag from the bench she added, “Plus you’re driving.”

  “Alrighty then, where to for dinner?”

  “I’m easy. Somewhere near the cinemas, I guess.”

  Ten minutes later, I was parking the car outside the group of cafes near the cinema.

  “This one?” Karen asked, when we walked by the café I went to with Joel the last time I came here. We took seats at a little table outside. The sun was still up but low enough that the building opposite was shading us. It was a lovely balmy night. We ordered our meals and were relaxing with a glass of wine each. It was nice spending time with Karen. It was something I hadn’t nearly done enough. We saw each other every day at work, but socially, other than Friday night drinks, we rarely got together.

  “So, I was thinking about Eric’s party on Saturday, any gift ideas?” I asked her.

  “Not a clue! Maybe we should ask Jess,” she replied.

  “I already did. She said she wasn’t chipping in with us as she has her own ideas.”

  “Oh, I bet she does! I can’t believe she’s keeping him out of her pants still.”

  “Karen!” I laughed.

  “What? Don’t mind me, I’m as horny as a porn star. I don’t particularly like Eric in that way, but really, if I had a guy that I did like trying to get in my pants, I sure as hell would let him!” She stared at me and I knew my eyes were bugging out of my head at her words as I continued to giggle. “Okay, I’ll admit it, I have issues!”

  “No, you just need to get laid. Obviously.”

  “Well, duh! You are a genius!” She rolled her eyes at me.

  “Maybe you’ll meet someone at Eric’s party.”

  “Don’t even think about playing matchmaker miss! I’m serious.” I could tell by the way her facial expression changed that she really was serious.

  “Okay, okay.” I held my hands up in surrender just as our meals arrived.

  “Now tuck in, the movie starts soon,” Karen instructed.

  I dropped Karen at her house at about ten-thirty and called Joel from the car.

  “Hey, I just dropped Karen off and was about to head home. What ya up to?”

  “I’m at Adam and Raelene’s. Can I come over?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’ll see you soon,” he said and promptly hung up.

  I was only planning to see how he was and say goodnight to him, but hanging up my phone and starting the car, I couldn’t help feeling like I’d just made a booty call. There’s a first for everything.

  Joel pulled into my driveway right after I did.

  “Did you speed over here?” I asked as he hopped out of his ute and headed to where I was standing on the front porch. “That was quick.”

  “What can I say? I was looking forward to doing this.” He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and then moved back so I could unlock the door. Once inside, Joel asked, “You want a cuppa or something?”

  “Nah, but I can get you one if you like.” Now I know how he likes it. “Or I can get you a cold drink?” I watched as he sat on the couch and looked back at me without answering. “Joel?”

  “Oh… nah, I’ll be right,” he said distractedly. “Come sit.” He patted the cushion beside him. I dropped my bag and keys on the table in the entryway and sat. He looked uneasy, nervous.

  “What’s up?” I asked casually, hiding the worry from my voice.

  “So, did you have a good night?” he asked, avoiding the question.

  “Yeah, it was good.” I kicked off my shoes and tucked my legs under my bum. “We had a dinner at that place you took me to when we went to the movies.”

  “And the movie?” He was stalling. There was something playing on his mind I could tell. He wasn’t himself.

  “Good… Joel, what’s wrong?” I asked, getting really worried because he was looking over my shoulder instead of at my face. It took him a moment to answer.

  “Nothing.” He took hold of both of my hands and his eyes focused on mine. I could tell he was nervous and it was causing my heart to pump harder. “Liv, you know how much I care about you right?”

  “Yes?” I squeaked out, panic starting to take over.

  “I just want you to know that, no matter what, I want to be with you, okay?”

  “Joel you’re scaring me.”

  “I don’t mean to.” He let my hands go and cupped the back of my head, bringing his lips to my forehead and holding me there. “I just want you to know.”

  “Are you sure that’s all?” I pushed my way from his grasp. “Has something happened?”

  He chuckled. “No. Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you, I just wanted you to know.”

  I looked at him for a moment, not convinced.

  “Let’s go to bed.” He stood from the couch and put his hand out for me to take.

  “Okay.”

  I allowed him to pull me from the couch and down the hall to my room, switching the lounge room light off on the way. I put the bedside lamp on in my room and turned to face him. Joel was acting weird and I wasn’t sure if we were going to get physical tonight, considering his mood, so I grabbed a pair of pj’s from my drawer, placed them on the end of the bed and started to undress. Joel walked to the other side of the bed and started taking his clothes off, too. We watched each other in silence and I couldn’t help being aroused by it. I noticed the tented shorts he was wearing and knew he was turned on as well. Once he was naked, he climbed across the bed and swept his arm out toward me.

  “Come ‘ere.”

  Swallowing, I took off the last of my clothing and climbed on the bed. We faced each other on the centre of the mattress, both of us on our knees, naked. Joel reached up and pushed my hair from my face, his fingertips blazing a hot trail down my cheek, onto my neck then further down to cup my breast. He looked down briefly, before looking back at my face.

  “You are so beautiful.”

  Then he kissed me. When his tongue entered my mouth and my arms came around to stroke his back, I forgot all about whatever went on in the lounge room as my desire for him took over. He pushed me down on the bed and covered me with his hard body. Only rocking against me a few times before quickly putting on a condom and entering me in slow increments.

  It was different this time, no teasing, no fighting for control, no dirty talk. He was gentle and sweet, nurturing even. He made me feel so loved and needed. I felt worshipped, as he smothered me with kisses and kept an even pace. Slow, so slow, that his movements made my heart ache. The desperation I felt was almost painful. I was at his mercy. He owned me.

  He ran his hand down my side and slipped it under my hip, urging me closer. I arched my back and cried out in ecstasy as I came. He buried his face in my neck and followed soon after.

  Then we lay, breathing heavily, both of us staring at the ceiling. Joel’s hand found mine on the mattress and our fingers entwined. I let out a contented sigh when he squeezed my hand. This man holds my hand just as tightly as he holds my heart. I closed my eyes. I hope he doesn’t ever let go.

  “Liv,” Joel whispered after a while.

  “Mmm?”

  He moved suddenly. I opened my eyes to see him hovering above me, staring at me with his beautiful, colourful eyes. He rested his torso across mine. Our hands were still joined, squished between our naked bodies.

  “I’m in love with you,” he blurted out in a ru
sh of air. I struggled to catch my breath. I opened my mouth to respond but he interrupted me, placing a single finger to my lips. “Shh, I don’t need to hear you say it back. I know it’s too soon, but I just needed you to know.”

  His eyes seared mine and I felt mine prick with tears. One leaked out and trickled down towards my ear. Joel’s hand moved from my mouth, he leant forward and gently kissed my tear away.

  “What’s that for?” he asked gently. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry-”

  I cut off his words by lifting my head and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. My head again rested against the pillow when a sob escaped.

  “Hey.” His hand squeezed mine, still trapped between our bodies.

  “I love you too, Joel,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. His answering smile made my heart want to leap out of my chest.

  “So these are happy tears?” he asked wide-eyed, wiping my cheek with his thumb.

  “These are very happy tears.”

  He stared at me for a moment and then his face broke out into a broad smile. He was so beautiful to look at. He looked joyful and relieved. So that’s what the lounge room awkwardness must have been about.

  Joel kissed me again before laying back on his side and rolling me into him. We held each other tightly as we drifted off to sleep.

  I woke up smiling, not only because I was in love and my boyfriend loved me back, but also because I was woken with said boyfriend’s head between my legs.

  “Oh-my-god!” I called out, barely able to open my sleep filled eyes as Joel plundered me with his fingers and tongue until I was crashing, falling from the edge, with a massive orgasm. Seconds later, he had a condom on and was lifting me to sit on his lap. Wrapping my legs around his back, linking my ankles behind him, I let him guide me up and down in a fast pace. I held his head against my chest while he kissed, licked and sucked at my breasts.

  We were both sweating as my bedroom started heating up with another hot morning. I was gasping for air and my thighs were getting shaky. I pulled my arms from around Joel and he turned his head upwards. I could see the strain on his face, he was holding back, allowing me to chase my second orgasm. The look in his eyes was intense.

  “Liv, I love you baby, but I can’t hold it much longer.”

  The desperation in his voice and the tension in his breathing, his commitment to giving me pleasure first and the fact that those words had rolled off his tongue so easily, made me fall in love with him a little bit more right then. I leaned backwards, holding myself up by stretching my arms out behind me. He moved his hand to my clit and lightly rubbed it and I came for a second time with Joel following mere seconds later.

  “I love waking up next to you,” he said between shallow breaths before we repositioned ourselves next to each other on the bed.

  “It has some benefits,” I agreed between pants, then giggled. We lay beside one another, catching our breath in silence for a moment.

  “Shit. I’m gonna be late!” Joel said sitting up. He turned to me, “Are we good?”

  “Huh?” I opened one eye to look at him.

  “Are you… satisfied?” he asked with a wink.

  “Mhmm,” I mumbled with a smile, shutting my eye again.

  “Good ‘cause I don’t want a repeat of yesterday,” he said seriously.

  “Huh?” I blinked at him. “I though you said it was hot!”

  “Let me rephrase that, I don’t have time for a repeat of yesterday.” He leant forward and slapped my thigh, a mischievous look on his face. “And I don’t like leaving my girl… needy.”

  I burst out laughing at that. My heart also bursting again at the words ‘my girl’.

  “I’m good.” I assured him. He gave me a devilish smile before jumping from the bed to get ready for work.

  I vaguely remember him kissing me with a whispered goodbye before he left, as I dozed. When my alarm woke me later, I slid out of bed with a smile on my face, threw on some clothes and shuffled my way to the kitchen, needing a juice. The sunshine, which was already beating through the window, momentarily blinded me.

  I opened the fridge just as a flash of colour caught my eye causing me to shut the door again. I gasped when I saw what it was. In the middle of the door were alphabet letters, the coloured plastic magnets that kids play with. I was surprised to see them there, they weren’t mine, but reading them I knew exactly who put them there. They were an assortment of colours and the ‘e’ was actually a lower case ‘m’ on its side. Tears stung my eyes when I read the words, ‘I love you.’

  “I love you, too,” I whispered to the empty room.

  The idea struck me that Joel must have had those magnets when he came over last night, with the intention of surprising me with his message on my fridge. His fore-thought and romantic nature again outweighed my expectations. Would I ever get used to that? In some way, I hoped that I wouldn’t; I loved how he continued to surprise me and I didn’t want to ever take that for granted. I grabbed my phone to give him a quick call.

  “I love what you’ve done to my fridge,” I said when he answered.

  “Oh, yeah? I’ll tell Chelsea; she lent me the letters.”

  “I figured she might have.”

  “She made me promise to give them back, too,” he said with a chuckle. “She said Aunty Liv has to look after them and not lose any. Mind you, she didn’t even have an ‘e’ so she’s one to talk.” I heard a muffled voice through the line. “Liv, I gotta go, but I’m glad you liked your surprise.”

  “I loved it!”

  “Good, because I really do love you,” he said more seriously. I heard more muffled voices. “And now I’m gonna get shit all day from my work mates it seems.” He laughed. “Well, they can all suck it,” he said loudly for their benefit. “Yeah, you heard me, I’m crazy about this chick!” I heard more chuckling and ribbing muffled in the background.

  “I can’t believe you just did that!” I giggled.

  “Why not? It’s the truth.”

  “Are they really gonna give you shit now?”

  “Yeah, probably, but you’re worth it babe.”

  “I love you Joel.”

  He sighed happily in my ear.

  “I’ll speak to you later.”

  “Bye, Liv.”

  I floated through my day at work on cloud nine. I needed to go grocery shopping after work but instead found myself rushing home to meet Joel. I beat him by about ten minutes and was twiddling my thumbs, staring at the letters on my fridge with a giddy smile on my face, anxiously waiting to throw my arms around him when I heard his car pull up.

  “Honey, I’m home!” he called dramatically when he walked in the front door. Spotting me in the kitchen, he added cheekily, “What’s for dinner?”

  I threw myself at him planting a big, wet, sloppy kiss on his lips before answering, “Nothing, the cupboards are bare. I have Tim Tams?” He gave me a glorious smile, squeezed me tight and kissed me again.

  “Shopping?”

  “Yeah,” I grumbled. I’d much prefer he take me to bed but my stomach was growling so I reluctantly grabbed my bag and allowed him to pull me to his car.

  When we entered the store where we first met, I showed him my long shopping list but the look in his eyes had me wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. I just wanted to go home and let him give me what his look was promising.

  “How about we just get the bare essentials?” I suggested, grabbing a hand basket instead of a trolley.

  “In a hurry to get home are we?” he asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

  “You know I am.”

  “Me too.”

  Joel put his arm around me and pulled me into his side, giving me a quick and passionate kiss. I wrapped my arm around his waist and he took the basket from my hands.

  “What do you feel like for dinner?” he asked when he removed his lips from mine and started walking with me tucked under his arm.

  “I dunno. What do you feel like?”
>
  “I asked first.”

  “Well, I asked second,” I countered.

  He squeezed me closer and gave me a sexy smirk. We made our way to the frozen section and aimlessly wandered up and down, looking in the freezers. I wanted something quick and easy, I really didn’t feel like cooking.

  “How about pizza?” I suggested.

  “Sure, which one?” Joel asked as we stood in front of rows and rows of frozen pizzas. His hand wandered into the pocket on the back of my jean shorts and I leaned into him.

  “You choose,” I replied before giving him a kiss on his neck.

  “No you.” He turned to capture my lips. His tongue invaded my mouth and he stole a moan from me before pulling back and giving me a cheeky grin. “You know who we’ve turned into?”

  “No. Who?”

  “That couple.”

  “What couple?” I asked, genuinely confused.

  “Don’t you remember? When we first met. I saw you eyeing a couple that were walking these same aisles doing exactly what we’re doing. I saw you rolling your eyes because they were mauling each other.”

  My eyes widened. He’s right. I was disgusted by them.

  “Where is your hand right now, Liv?”

  I squeezed his arse hard causing him to yelp. Yep. That’s where my hand was.

  “You were so cute watching them, scrunching up your nose and now look at all the PDA you’re showing!” he teased.

  “Shut up!” I pushed him away.

  He laughed loudly then opened the freezer door. He grabbed a pizza box and held it up for my approval. I gave him a nod.

  “What’s next on the essentials list?” he asked placing the pizza in the basket then wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

  “Uh, juice and laundry detergent.” I can get the rest another time. I really want to get him home.

  When we made it around the next aisle Joel stopped in front of the laundry detergent reaching up to the top shelf and grabbing my favourite brand, in pink.

  “You remembered?”

  “I remember everything about that night, Liv. It changed my life.”

  Just when I thought I couldn’t love him any more than I already did, he had to go and say something like that.