How to Liv

by Megan Keith

  Joel didn’t sleep over that night because he had to go home to feed Ruby. The next night, when he called, I told him not to come around because I had a headache. I lied. I didn’t have one, I had my period. I know it sounds pathetic, I’m a grown-arsed woman unable to tell her boyfriend she has her period, but I haven’t been with Joel very long and it just feels… awkward.

  Friday night. When everyone went to the pub after work, I headed straight home and curled up on the couch. I knew it was only a matter of time before Joel called me. I was desperate for an excuse not to see him because I couldn’t face him. I was being lame I know, but how am I supposed to be around Joel and not have sex? Joel and sex just went together. And to think I’d used the lie of having my period to avoid sex with Craig! My how things have changed. The last thing I wanted was to turn Joel down, even if it was for a legitimate excuse. It had been two whole days and I was having withdrawals. Being a woman really sucks sometimes!

  I thought I’d get in first; ring Joel and let him know I’d just see him tomorrow. While lying on the couch I pulled up his number, he answered on the second ring.

  “Hey, I’ve just knocked off work and was about to call you. Do you want me to pick you up? We could grab a bite to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry,” I lied, feeling stupid about it.

  “Okay, did you want me to come pick you up anyway?”

  “You know, I’m really tired. I just wanna stay in. I don’t feel like doing much and now that Ally’s finally moved out, I kinda just want to enjoy hanging out at home.” Well, that part wasn’t a lie.

  “Oh, okay.” He sounded disappointed and I did really want to see him.

  “You can come over if you like.” Idiot! I smacked myself on the forehead for caving so easily.

  “I’ll head home and have a shower, feed Ruby then come over. Did you want me to bring you anything?”

  “A cheeseburger?”

  “Sure, anything else?”

  “Some fries and a sundae?”

  “Wait. I thought you weren’t hungry?”

  “I wasn’t feeling well before,” I mumbled, hating getting caught in a lie.

  “And you suddenly recovered?” Joel chuckled.

  “Yep.”

  “Alright then. I’ll see you soon.”

  When Joel arrived, about an hour later, I’d barely moved. My cramps were really bad and I wasn’t in the best mood. When he knocked at the door I yelled out for him to come in because I couldn’t be bothered getting up.

  Catching sight of his handsome face, his broad smile directed at me, I found it really hard to remember why I was in a bad mood at all. I pulled myself into a sitting position and turned the volume on the telly down with the remote. He put the takeaway bags on the coffee table and leant over me, placing a lingering kiss on my lips. Instantly I was wanting more. Not good.

  He gave my thigh a squeeze when he sat down beside me and started pulling the food out. I tucked in straight away. I hadn’t realised how starved I was until I smelled the food. Joel talked all about the last couple of days at work and I listened while I ate, polishing off my food almost as quickly as he did.

  He stuffed his empty sundae container back into the bag and leant back on the couch eyeing my dessert.

  “Get your eyes off my sundae, you’ve had yours!” I said to Joel as he moved to rest his head against my shoulder, his face inches from my ice cream.

  “Pretty please.” He turned his head up to face me, stuck his bottom lip out and pouted.

  “One spoonful,” I relented, shoving the spoon towards him.

  He slowly and sensually sucked the ice cream off it and I felt my insides clenching. I tried to distract myself by concentrating on scraping the last of the ice cream from the cup. Joel took the empty container from my hand when I was finished, placed it on the coffee table, then turned to capture my lips in a soft kiss. Pushing me back against the couch his tongue entered my mouth with a gentle sweep.

  “Mmm you taste delicious, like chocolate sundae.” He again put his tongue in my mouth and I couldn’t help but return the kiss. A moment later, I pushed him away.

  “What?”

  “I just can’t.”

  “Can’t what?”

  “I don’t feel very well.” I shifted uncomfortably on the couch trying to discreetly move away from him.

  “What? How can you say that after you polished off all that food?” he asked me with a sly grin. “Liv, what’s wrong? You’re not sick, are you?”

  “No… I…” I lowered my voice so it was barely audible, heat burning my cheeks. “I’ve got my period.”

  “Oh babe, is that all?” He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. “You had me worried there for a moment.” He gave me a kiss on top of my head.

  Joel surprised me again. Craig was always grossed out if I ever even brought it up. He would cringe away from me, like I had the plague or something. Instead, Joel brings me closer. I lifted my head to meet his gaze and it was like his eyes were smiling, the little laughter lines at the sides showing more as his lips curled into an even larger, sexier smile.

  “What?”

  “I really, really like you,” I said, smiling back at him.

  “Good to know,” he murmured, bringing his lips down to mine for a passionate kiss that ignited my entire body with desire. I pulled away with a moan.

  “Joel,” I said with a warning tone.

  “Sorry, you can’t, I get it. Actually, I’m kinda relieved, I was beginning to wonder if maybe you were pregnant.”

  “Pregnant?”

  “Yeah, well you were acting weird and you remember our first time together, right?”

  Oh yeah, we forgot to use protection.

  “Not that I would have minded if you were pregnant, I’d just like more time for it to be just the two of us first, you know?”

  “Joel, what- so you’re saying…?”

  “That I want you to have my babies? Fuckin’ oath! I’d thought we’d established that already?”

  I stared at him with my mouth wide open, he reached over and pushed my chin upwards so that I shut it.

  “So no sex, what are we going to do instead?” He smirked at me and I felt like slapping him but I was, too much, in awe to move a muscle.

  “TV?” I asked, though I wasn’t really interested.

  “How about some Buffy?” That got my interest.

  “Could you be any more perfect?” I asked him incredulously.

  I agreed to go back a couple of seasons to watch the episodes he was up to and we settled in on the couch for the night.

  Two episodes in and Joel was distracting me from the TV by trailing his fingers haphazardly across my leg.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Joining the dots,” he replied, concentrating on his finger.

  I groaned.

  “What?” He gave me a sexy smile.

  “I hate my freckles.”

  “Well, I happen to love them. That first day I saw you, damn you looked so sexy with these long legs,” he lightly ran his fingers down my thigh, “and work boots… I spotted a freckle or two and wanted to do this so badly.” He grabbed my ankle, from where it rested on his lap, then moved his head down to kiss a freckle on my calf. Moving onto the next one, he licked it. “Mmm, I could do this every day.”

  “Hmm, and I could let you... if it were any other time of the month.”

  He groaned and released my leg. “Just watch the damn TV,” he scolded me and pointed to the TV as if I was the one misbehaving.

  I laughed loudly and tried desperately to concentrate on the telly instead of the man beside me.

  The man who wants to have babies with you!

  Walking into Eric’s party the next night, I wasn’t surprised to be greeted by Jess at the door.

  “Hi, guys!” She gave me a hug and then Joel. “The birthday boy is right over there,” she said, pointing into the crowded kitchen where Eric could be seen pouring wine.


  “Wow, this place is packed,” I said, dodging elbows as I made my way toward him.

  “Tell me about,” Jess threw over her shoulder, walking in front of me. “I hardly know a soul here.”

  So it turns out Eric has a large group of friends. His apartment was small and full to capacity. There were at least fifty people crammed in the kitchen/dining/living area. It was a cocktail party and everyone was dressed to the nines. I was wearing a short black t-shirt sleeved cocktail dress and matching black high heels (well high heels by my standard anyway, basically flats with a little bump). Joel kept one of my hands entwined with his as we made our way through the mayhem.

  “Olivia! So glad you could make it!” Eric bellowed, giving me a squeeze. Joel’s hand was still threaded with mine, so I gave Eric an awkward one armed hug in return.

  “Happy birthday Eric!” I gave him a peck on the cheek. “You remember Joel, right?” I pulled back and motioned to Joel who was standing close behind me.

  “Of course! How you doin’ man?” He put his hand forward for Joel to shake.

  “Great! Happy birthday mate,” Joel replied, letting my hand go, giving Eric a firm shake before snaking his arm back around my waist and squeezing my hip.

  “Oh good, we’re all here now. Time to bring in the pressie!” Karen hollered over to Daniel before coming to stand beside me.

  “Hey Kaz, you’re looking gorgeous!” I ran my eyes up and down her outfit a couple of times. She was wearing a long, emerald green flowing evening gown which brought out the red highlights in her hair. She had a bright smile with rosy cheeks. “And you’re glowing! How much have you had to drink?”

  She leaned into my side and whispered in my ear, “Not nearly enough to get me to go home with him yet.”

  “Him who?”

  “His name is Trevor.”

  She nodded her head over to a handsome looking, tall, blond man in the corner of the room who was eyeing us curiously. She tugged on my arm and pulled me away from Joel and further away from the mysterious man. The look on her face was priceless - a cross between a deer caught in the headlights and a giddy high school girl at her first school dance.

  “Oh god, Olivia, I have no idea what I’m doing,” she whispered as I hunched closer. “I’ve only been here like an hour and this guy… this guy is doing all sorts of crazy things to my insides. He started flirting with me from the moment I stepped in the door. He’s been topping up my drinks and saying the sweetest things. I’m so out of my element!”

  I felt like jumping up and down and squealing with excitement for Karen but I didn’t want to cause a scene so instead I managed a muted, “I’m so happy for you, Kaz!”

  “Well, don’t get too carried away, I haven’t sealed the deal yet.”

  “Sealed the deal? Just what kind of deal are you thinking of sealing?” I teased and she blushed more.

  “Do you think I could do it? Like a,” she paused and lowered her voice even more so that I had to strain to hear her next words, “one night stand?”

  I gasped in mock horror. “Really Karen? You’d do that? I’m shocked!” I giggled.

  “No, you’re right. I couldn’t possibly.” She shook her head in dismay, looking down to the floor.

  “Oh yes, you could,” I said more seriously. Joel slipped his arm around my shoulders and dipped his head to listen to our whispered conversation. I waited for Karen to look back at me. “If there’s one thing I’ve learnt recently it’s that life is too short not to take that chance.” I glanced at Joel who smirked at me and squeezed my shoulder at those words. The look of love on his face sent shivers through me. I blinked and tried to refocus on Karen. “You deserve to have some fun.”

  “Yeah, but I’m a single mum, I shouldn’t be so irresponsible.”

  “Irresponsible?” Joel piped up. “What are you two on about?”

  “See the blondie over in the corner?” I asked Joel, subtly nudging my head in his direction. “Early to mid-forties, wearing the grey slacks and the pale blue shirt?”

  “And the dreamy blue eyes that match that shirt?” Karen continued.

  “Yeah, what about him?” Joel asked.

  “Karen’s thinking of having a one night stand,” I explained.

  “Oh my god! I cannot believe I’m even having this conversation,” Karen interrupted and ducked her head in embarrassment. “How can I even be considering this?”

  “Where are the kids tonight?” Joel asked.

  “At Matt’s.”

  “All night?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Karen, you are looking sexy as hell in that dress and if the way that guy is looking at you is any indication, he thinks you’d look pretty sexy out of it, too. You’re a good mum but you’re also a woman who deserves to do something for herself. The kids don’t need you tonight.” He leaned closer to her. “Go for it!”

  I watched as Karen’s eyes latched onto Joel’s. They stared at each other for a moment and Karen’s facial expression went from insecure to confident. She blinked a couple of times then took a step back.

  “Okay. I can do this.” She looked back over to Trevor and then said, “But first I need another drink.”

  Joel and I watched Karen grab a wine from the counter and head in Trevor’s direction. The attractive looking pair started chatting. I turned to Joel.

  “Should I be concerned?” I asked. “So you think Karen’s ‘sexy as hell’?” Joel stared at me a moment uncertain of how to answer. I poked him in the ribs. “I’m only joking!” I laughed. Relief flooded his features and a sexy smirk graced his mouth. “I’m in awe of you Joel Turner.” I twisted in his arms, wrapping mine around his waist, drawing him closer. “What you just did for Karen… you gave her the confidence boost she needed. You’re such a kind and thoughtful man. What did I ever do to deserve you?”

  “I’m sure that’s my line,” he said, leaning down to give me a sweet, lingering kiss.

  “Break it up you two!” Daniel said loudly from beside us. I moved to give him space when I saw he was carrying Eric’s present. It was a huge and heavy box. “Make way. Coming through.” He continued on parting the party guests, heading to the kitchen where Eric was still stationed.

  We followed him, which essentially meant taking a couple of steps to get closer to the action. I watched Karen and Trevor step closer, too, they really made an attractive pair. Scott was there, and I noticed our receptionist, Natalie, standing over by the window, as well as a few others from work lurking about. Jess was by Eric’s side clearing a space on the bench so Daniel could place the box there.

  “Happy birthday mate!” Daniel said, taking a step back after putting it down.

  “What’s this?” Eric said, pulling the wrapping from the box and noticing our company logo on it. “It looks suspicious.” He tore the tape from the top, peered inside and started laughing. “You’ve got to be joking!”

  “What is it?” someone yelled.

  “It’s coins.” He stuck his hands in the box and pulled it upwards showing the crowd. A pile of five and ten cent pieces flowed from his hand back into the box. “Lots and lots of coins!”

  “You love counting right?” Karen yelled over the crowd.

  “Well, you are an accountant!” somebody else yelled out.

  “How much is in here?” He lifted the box and quickly put it back down. “It’s damn heavy!”

  “Start counting!” someone else called and laughter surrounded us.

  “How much is there?” Joel whispered in my ear.

  “I think it’s about six hundred dollars, all up. Everyone at work put in and Karen organised the change at the bank. Don’t tell him though, let him suffer and count!”

  “Really?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “He made out better than you, didn’t he?”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t really have a 30th just drinks at the pub, remember? Besides, look around,” I said, motioning to the waitress walking by us, “Look what he must be forking out for this shindig.” />
  “True. I feel a little underdressed. I shoulda realised when I saw what you were wearing.”

  I looked at Joel’s outfit and felt desire coursing through me. He was dressed in a checked shirt with the sleeves rolled up, not the cheap flannelled type it was kind of dressy, and a pair of tan coloured slacks, leather shoes and belt - the most dressed up I’d ever seen him. He hadn’t shaved in a few days now, his beard and moustache suited him. He looked hot!

  “I’m more of a drinks in the pub kinda guy,” he said with an apologetic shrug, looking around the room at all the men wearing suits.

  “I love that about you,” I said with a light kiss on his nose. And I did. I wasn’t the cocktail dress kind of person either.

  “You look stunning by the way.” He put his arms around me and drew me close.

  “So I’ve heard.” Only about four times since I put my dress on. “But feel free to say it again.”

  “You’re gorgeous.” He kissed me on the corner of my mouth. “The most beautiful woman in the room.”

  “Charmer.”

  “Just stating the facts.” Then he kissed me again and for a moment I forgot where we were and let passion take over, until I got jostled by someone in the crowded room.

  A couple of hours later, we were heading out the door after saying our goodbyes, when Jess came running up to us.

  “Wait! You forgot your lolly bags!” She thrust two little plastic bags into my hand with a giggle.

  “Lolly bags?” I asked, not quite believing what I was hearing. I haven’t had a bag of lollies given to me when leaving a party since I was a kid. Sneaking a peek inside one of the bags I was excited to see that it was choc-a-block full of sugary treats.

  “Yeah, why should the kids have all the fun?” Jess said.

  “Exactly!” Joel snatched both bags from me and sprinted off towards the car.

  “Enjoy the rest of your night guys!” Jess called after us as I started chasing him.

  “Give me back my lollies!” I yelled.

  “Come and get them,” he taunted, holding the bags above his head. I took the remaining steps and jumped up trying to reach them. I didn’t have a chance in hell so I did the only thing I could think of – distraction. Leaning into him, standing on tippy toes, I started kissing his neck. I was dragging my tongue up toward his ear when his hands dropped to wrap around me and that’s when I made my move to grab my swag. Twisting quickly in his arms I got hold of the bags but unfortunately I couldn’t pull them from his tight grasp.