Carry and Carrie - In the Twin’s Shadow

by Edina Davis

  Carina had done her O-levels and then left school two years previously. She did not lack the necessary intelligence for doing her A-levels, but she still simply wasn’t interested in learning. As she was convinced, she could reach her goals with little effort, she saw no reason to exert herself unduly. Therefore, she had badgered her parents about wanting to train as a hairdresser until they had, albeit reluctantly, agreed.

  Now she was close to her final exam as a hairdresser and would soon go to the USA to train as a make-up artist. Narcissistic as she was, she already saw herself surrounded by super stars, as one of the best make-up artists of Hollywood.

  The three-year-training was very costly. The course itself was prohibitively expensive. Furthermore, there were the travel and living expenses as well as the cost for accommodation, which was only a few minutes from her training institution. Still, her parents had immediately been willing to finance everything, under the condition that Carolyn would also be supported by them during her future university studies. There was of course no mention of the fact that in addition to her studies Carolyn would continue temping in the Seaford pharmacy and living at home to avoid the cost for accommodation in Brighton. This meant that she would be on the road for at least an hour each morning in order to travel to the university in Brighton as well as a further hour in the afternoon for return trip, back home.

  As always, Carolyn was the one who had to compromise to enable Mummy’s little princess every possible comfort. In the course of many years Carolyn had given up hope that this would ever change. She was already looking forward to the day when she could leave home and lead her life according to her own wishes and ideas, independent of her parents. Whenever Carolyn felt treated unfairly, she thought about her goal and this thought gave her the necessary strength to bear all injustices.

  CHAPTER 35

  The day had finally arrived, and Carolyn left school with her A-levels. She had achieved the best possible grade in all subjects and been awarded best of her year. She proudly showed her parents her report with a beaming face.

  “Congratulations, child. You really did marvellously,” her father praised her exuberantly. “Just brilliant!” He embraced her and affectionately kissed both her cheeks. Then he handed the report to his wife and added: “We’re very proud of you. What do you say, Debbie-Lambkin?”

  Debbie cast a fleeting glance at it and impassively remarked: “Yes, of course, very nice. But I didn’t expect anything else from you, Lynn. Could you now help me set the table? Carrie will be here any minute as well. I can’t wait to see how she did. She really worked extremely hard lately, poor thing.”

  Carolyn was speechless. This can’t be true! She brought back A-levels with the best possible grade point average overall, and all her mother could think of was Carina’s hairdresser exam! And Carina working hard!? That was the most ridiculous thing Carolyn had ever heard. She was lazy, bone idle! She had never done more than the absolute necessary, otherwise she could have taken her A-levels as well.

  Carolyn’s heart was filled with bitterness. Her mother’s behaviour continued hurting her, as much as she tried to let it bounce off her. Her father still tried to make up for her mother’s indifference towards Carolyn, but he didn’t really succeed. After almost twenty years of marriage to his Debbie he was still as infatuated with her as in the beginning of their relationship, always eager to please, which in turn had a negative impact on his relationship with Carolyn. Carolyn sadly looked at her father, who quickly lowered his head to avoid his daughter’s glance.

  He felt uncomfortable, as he knew exactly what this glance meant, this pleading glance he had known only too well for so many years. Deep inside he knew that he had constantly failed as a father, especially towards Carolyn. He knew it and yet couldn’t change it. He adored his wife and his wish to please her was stronger than everything else, stronger than his paternal love.

  Debbie Harris had constantly become chubbier over the past years and now even had a small double chin. However, she was still quite pretty and apart from some laughter lines around her eyes her skin was amazingly smooth. The large blue eyes with the long blonde lashes looked at the world in an almost childishly naive manner and even though her mouth had become thinner over the years, her smile was still as enchanting as it had been many years ago. In Philipp’s eyes his wife hadn’t changed at all but was still gorgeous.

  Unlike Debbie, Philipp was still as slim as before. His hair was full and wavy, even though somewhat peppered with grey. His attractive appearance still attracted women’s glances, but that didn’t interest him at all.

  In hindsight, he could only remember one moment in his life that he deeply regretted.

  His thoughts wandered back two years when he had met a woman who could have posed a danger to him, even though she was the complete opposite of his Debbie, or maybe just because of that!? He saw her in his mind once again …

  ***

  Helen Morrison, a gorgeous, dainty woman with long nut-brown hair and large dark eyes. He had met her at the motor show in Earls Court. Debbie hadn’t been able to accompany him because she’d caught a heavy bout of the flu and had had to stay in bed.

  Helen Morrison was a wealthy widow in her thirties, whose late husband had left her his whole fortune and a large London automobile enterprise. She was introduced to Philipp by one of his longtime customers during a business meal and was fascinated at first glance by her appearance.

  Helen doubtlessly felt attracted to Philipp as well and made it all too obvious to him. His wedding ring, which he never took off his finger, didn’t seem to bother her in the least because she wasn’t a child of sadness and used to getting whatever she wanted. Well, she wanted this handsome provincial man, and she didn’t doubt for a second that he shared her wishes.

  Philipp of course was flattered that an attractive woman like Helen obviously made eyes at him. Still, despite his admiration for her, he didn’t intend to get involved with her. After all, he loved his Debbie and was very happily married to her.

  As Helen and he stayed in the same hotel, he accompanied her to her room later on and with a little trick she convinced him to come inside for a drink. She mixed a whisky soda for them both and put on soft music. They talked very animatedly, first about business, then about personal topics, they laughed and drank.

  In the company of this uncomplicated woman Philipp felt easier and more carefree than he had in a long time. Well, they didn’t limit themselves to that one whisky and after a while Philipp forgot space and time.

  Suddenly Helen excused herself, disappeared into the bathroom and returned shortly afterwards, dressed only in a sheer negligée.

  Philipp was completely taken by surprise and had only stared at her speechlessly. Before he was able to react in any way, she had placed herself on his lap and kissed him. He had hesitated for some seconds before he pulled her close fiercely and passionately returned her kiss.

  Yes, at that moment he had been willing to abandon all moral concerns, had been dangerously close to cheating on his beloved Debbie! But suddenly he saw her face before him, her large blue eyes staring at him in disbelief, even bewilderment. He pushed Helen away with all his might, jumped up and escaped from the room. While running out he heard her furious voice: “You’re out of your mind … you crazy country bumpkin!”

  When Philipp arrived in his own room, he sank onto the bed with a deep sigh. How had it come to that? What had gotten into him, going into the room with this seductive woman and drinking countless glasses of whisky? He should have known what would happen, after all, she had indicated her interest in him clearly enough beforehand!

  His bad conscience tortured him, and he was deeply embarrassed for having taken it that far. What, if he had taken just one more step and really had …

  Oh, my God, no … he would never have been able to look his Debbie in the eye again!

  He thanked God for having s
aved him from this by calling his beloved wife’s face to mind just in time.

  Afterwards, he had hardly been able to wait for the drive back, back to his wife, to his beloved Debbie, to take her into his arms, to love her.

  When he finally returned home the next evening, he showered Debbie with kisses. “I missed you so much, my Debbie,” he had stammered. “I’ll never travel anywhere without you, not even for a single day!”

  Yes, that’s what happened back then and since then Philipp Harris hadn’t even so much as glanced at another woman.

  He had the absolute best wife in the world, his Debbie, and that’s how it should stay!

  ***

  “Philipp, what’s the matter with you?” his wife’s voice tore him from his thoughts. He looked up and asked: “What … did you say something, Debbie-Darling?”

  “Yes, of course, I asked you if you were also as excited about Carrie’s diploma as I was.”

  “Yes … yes, of course,” Philipp murmured, distraught, even though he hadn’t thought about it at all. Carina’s diploma as a hairdresser would be just as average as all her previous reports. Why should anyone be eager to see it? His wife frowned at him but didn’t say anything.

  Some minutes later Carina stormed into the dining room, waved her diplomas like a trophy and was all smiles.

  “Mummy, you won’t believe how well I did,” she called out. “Here you are,” and she put her certificate of apprenticeship and diploma onto the table triumphantly. “Daddy, you too.”

  Debbie Harris looked at it and beamed.

  “You passed the exam with a grade point average of 2.9!” she praised. “You’ve really done well, my dear. Hasn’t she, Philipp? That’s a great success, isn’t it?”

  “Yes … yes, that’s not at all bad.” Philipp avoided glancing in Carolyn’s direction.

  Carolyn looked at her mother in complete bewilderment. What was the matter with this woman? Wasn’t she quite right in her head? She sang a true hymn of praise to Carina while not giving her a single word of appreciation!

  Carolyn couldn’t restrain herself any longer and burst out: “Yes, that’s really unrivalled, Carina! Passing a hairdresser exam and having a grade point average of 2.9 is of course a much bigger success than passing one’s A-levels with honours. Keep it up!” Carolyn applauded with mock enthusiasm and glanced around ironically.

  Carina glared at her sister. How could this arrogant swot dare to humiliate her like this? For the hundredth time she cursed the day on which she had seduced that stupid Ben and then accused her sister of wanting to poison her. Without this damned compromise she had to make, she could have had the last laugh over her sister several times, such as now! Silently, lowering her head, she stared at her plate.

  Debbie Harris turned red with rage as she interpreted her daughter’s silence the wrong way. How hurt her Carrie was! She turned to Carolyn and her voice was strident: “It’s very disgraceful of you to make fun of your sister that way, Lynn. Carrie just must make a much bigger effort than you to get good grades. She worked hard and therefore deserves praise, that’s what I think. You on the other hand should be happy and grateful that good grades just come to you without any special effort.”

  Carolyn couldn’t believe it. Carina working hard … that was pure mockery! She did only the absolute necessary, letting others do her homework and skipping school.

  In the middle of her thoughts her mother’s high voice shrilled: “Am I not right, Philipp? Why don’t you say something?”

  Philipp Harris wriggled like an eel. He didn’t share his wife’s opinion but still didn’t want to contradict her.

  “Of course, studying comes easier to Carolyn,” he therefore said after short hesitation, “but she also worked extremely hard, Debbie-Dearie, one can’t deny that. And on top of that she often temped in the pharmacy in her spare time.”

  Carolyn cast a grateful glance at her father.

  “Carrie also had to temp in the hair salon in addition to school,” Debbie protested but then surprisingly relented. “Well, of course both our daughters are diligent. I only said that Lynn didn’t have to work as hard at school as Carrie did. One is simply used to her always bringing home the best grades. Of course, I’m also proud of you, Lynn,” she added in Carolyn’s direction with a condescending expression.

  Carolyn, who had stopped calling her mother Mum some years ago, replied with unconcealed mockery in her voice: “Many thanks, Mother.” That settled the matter for her. Once again, she yearned for the day when she could leave this house once and for all.

  CHAPTER 36

  Some weeks later the moment had arrived, Carina was leaving for the USA. The excitement in the Harris household was tremendous and chaos reigned. Finally, everything was taken care of and Carina’s packed suitcases stood in the hall. The family had breakfast on the terrace as it was a delightfully warm summer’s day.

  Carolyn loved feeling the warm rays of sun on her skin and watching the treetops gently moving in the breeze. She enjoyed the soft rustling of the leaves and the view of the silvery shimmering pond in the centre of the garden.

  Debbie Harris however had no glance for the day’s beauty today. Her eyes were tear-stained, and she looked tired.

  Carolyn scrutinised her with contempt. Yes, now her mother would really have to do without her little princess for three years. Carina would only come home for a few days over Christmas.

  Carolyn herself of course was glad. A life without Carina … simply indescribable! Her studies would start soon, and she was looking forward to it so much. Laura and Johnny would also study in Brighton, with her. Therefore, the friends would continue to see each other daily. Carolyn was awfully glad about that, as she couldn’t imagine not seeing her friend for a longer period of time. In the evenings she would enjoy the marvellous quiet and study in peace. Even though Carina had not bothered her with her malice over the past years, it was in her nature to spread a certain unrest, not to mention her appalling messiness. The following years would be heavenly and afterwards … she would come up with something. Maybe she would look for a furnished room in Brighton. Her parents would then have more money at their disposal again and could support her a little. Well, for now a wonderful time without her sister lay ahead of her and she wanted to enjoy it!

  Suddenly the sound of her mother’s desperate sobbing interrupted her thoughts. She looked up in confusion.

  “I’m sorry, Carrie, but I can’t help it,” Debbie Harris cried. “I’m happy for you, but … I’ll miss you terribly.” The sobbing became louder.

  “Oh, Mummy, I understand,” Carina purred with a syrupy voice. “I’ll also miss you and Daddy lots and lots, believe me. But look, it’s almost August and I’ll come home for two weeks over Christmas.”

  “Yes, I know,” her mother whined, “but five months … that’s … it feels like an eternity to me.” Still sobbing, she rested her head on her husband’s shoulder, while he put his arm around her and tenderly patted her cheek.

  “Debbie-Dearie, please calm down,” he tried to comfort her. “Five months really aren’t an eternity. Besides, she’ll surely call us every week, right, won’t you, Carina?”

  “Of course, Daddy! I’ll call every Sunday, no question about it. Please, Mum, promise to be brave now, yes?”

  “Oh, my little girl,” Debbie Harris sobbed before sniffing soundly into her handkerchief. “I’ll try, but I don’t know whether … I can’t promise.” Once more her sobbing was heartbreaking.

  Carina now got up, knelt in front of her mother’s chair, and took her face in both hands. Carolyn could clearly see how her sister enjoyed this scene.

  “Mummy, I love you so much,” Carina quivered. “You need to promise to be brave, otherwise I can’t … I really couldn’t …” Carina threw her head into Debbie’s lap while sobbing loudly.

  Carolyn had to restrain herself not to laugh ou
t loud. Carina should become an actress instead of a make-up artist! She watched this stage-ready scene with large eyes as well as her father, who now also seemed to be fighting back the tears.

  Carolyn couldn’t believe it. What was going on here? She would have loved to jump up and run away. She felt more than ever that she didn’t belong here. These three people over there were absolute strangers to her and appeared like some grotesque characters from a third-class movie, of which she was an involuntary spectator.

  With yearning, she looked up into the sky where a seagull circled above her. She envied the seagull at this moment, envied it for its freedom. One day she would also be free, as free as that seagull! Yes, one day she would also fly away into a better world. She would fly away into a world where she was noticed, respected, and loved. Yes, deep in her heart she felt that she would achieve her goal. She would be free and happy!

  She heard her mother’s voice as if from far away. “Carrie-Darling, stop crying now. I promise to be brave.”

  Carina jumped up quickly and gave her mother a smack kiss on the cheek. “Mum, you’re a treasure!” she said, beaming. “Now, let’s finish breakfast and then Daddy will take me to the airport.”

  Strange … there wasn’t the slightest trace of the bitter tears she had ostensibly shed just seconds ago. While chattering cheerfully, she showed a healthy appetite by devouring three slices of toast with orange marmalade and two fried eggs with bacon. When she had finished her breakfast, she jumped up.

  “Right, Daddy, we need to leave. I don’t want to miss my flight.” She turned to her mother and perkily said: “Bye, Mum. And remember your promise, yes?” She kissed her mother on both cheeks once more, called out to Carolyn: “Bye, Lynn. Hold the fort!” and then cheerfully skipped towards the hall.