Girl in the Bearskin

by C. L. Stone

  I looked over my shoulder at the man on the ground. He remained there, his wandering eye dancing, but his one good eye, he kept on me. He had a strong jaw, a broad nose. The rest of him was thin but not terribly feeble. Outside of that, he reminded me of some of the men at my camp in the army. The ones who seemed to attract a lot of female attention. Handsome. If the women were bringing him food, I considered what the women might have been asking for in return.

  I turned back to the men. “I think your worry isn't of your food supply,” I said. “But...” I reached into my pocket and brought out a handful of gold coins into the bowl of the beggar. “Here,” I said. “Now he can pay properly for supplies. He can get what he needs before he moves on.”

  The good eye of the man widened, and he gazed into the bowl, at the small pile of gold in it. “Bless you,” he said.

  The other men backed off, but the main instigator still pointed a finger at him. “You've enough money to be off, now. Buy what you need but go.” He backed away. The others of his party followed.

  I stayed where I was as the men walked away. I couldn’t believe how quickly they had escalated the situation, when he only asked for food and a place to stay. He said he was willing to work for it. Why shun him?

  “I told you this was a bad idea,” Shaytan said. He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the men walking off. “Now you’ve angered them. They may not tell you anything that you were hoping to find out.”

  “What is your name?” the man on the ground asked me.

  I turned to him, looking him over. For a quick second, his good eye met my face, gazing at it. It quickly fell and he looked at my waist instead.

  Did he fear me? After what I’d done for him?

  “I'm Adelina Yousef,” I said. “What’s yours?”

  “I'm Wilhelm,” he said. “If the war is over, you must be heading home. Do you travel alone?”

  I looked back at Shaytan. Did he not see him? My suspicions that he was not visible might have just been confirmed, or perhaps I was right about Wilhelm not being able to see well. “Not always,” I said, leaving the truth half spoken.

  Wilhelm picked up his bowl and stood up, collecting a small pack that had been behind him. “Then I will follow you,” he said. “Let me be your travel partner.”

  A hesitation grew inside me. “You don't want to follow me,” I said. “I’m going on a very long journey and it may not be pleasant.” I didn't want him to even try. How would I explain to him about Shaytan? Whether or not he could see him, how could I explain the cloak? How could I explain if I was talking to him?

  “Don't let him come with us,” Shaytan whispered behind me.

  I paused, and then smiled. “That's not part of the deal.” I glanced back at him briefly.

  Shaytan was frowning. “No, it wasn't. But I strongly suggest it.”

  “Did you say something?” Wilhelm asked. “Was that a yes? I don’t mind a long walk. It’s all I’ve done for years.”

  “Yes,” I said and turned to him fully. I lifted my shoulders and stood tall. Wilhelm was about my own height. And while he was thinner than myself, those thin limbs were muscled and appeared strong. “If you think you can manage. I could use the help. And a companion.”

  “Let me earn this money you've given me,” he said. “Where are you going?”

  “I wish to see more of this country,” I said. “And… I was looking for where the dwarves lived.”

  “The dwarves?” he asked. “I didn’t know there were any in our country.”

  “Do you know where they come from?”

  “From what I heard, they live in the base of mountains, far from here. But that could be just a rumor.”

  “It’s as good a lead as I’d had,” I said. “There are mountains to the north. And the capital is on the way. Maybe the closer we get to the north, we’ll hear more information.”

  “Then let’s be off.” Wilhelm took his bowl and put it into a small pouch he had beside his hip. Once it was away, he turned to me. “I should tell you, I haven't eaten in days. Despite what that man said, I didn't beg for food from the children. They wanted nothing to do with me. I may be a little slow otherwise. That’s why I was sitting when they hovered over me. I was afraid I’d faint in front of them and wake up in a ditch outside of town.”

  “Then show me where we can get you some.”

  He nodded shortly and motioned to me. “There’s an inn this way.”

  As he walked ahead of me, I looked back at Shaytan, who was still frowning but continued to follow me.

  “It's a mistake,” he said.

  I ignored him. He could be unhappy all he liked. It wasn't breaking the deal. In fact, I liked that he seemed displeased. It was likely he saw Wilhelm as a threat to his bet.

  If that were the case, then I was happy to have Wilhelm along.

  THE STRANGEST OF TRAVEL COMPANIONS

  We stopped at the inn, getting food and a few supplies from the innkeeper. We stayed only a couple of nights. Outside of the innkeeper and cook, no one really spoke to us. I wasn’t sure if it was my bearskin cloak or if they were still ruffled over Wilhelm being a nuisance to them.

  I did ask about rumors of dwarves, but the answer was the same as Wilhelm. Somewhere north perhaps. Somewhere in the mountains.

  Once Wilhelm seemed to have gotten enough of his strength back for walking, we took off.

  I had no direction to head except northward. For the next couple of months, while autumn turned into winter, we stopped at inns along the countryside. Because of the cold weather, our pace slowed to a crawl between stays at inns. I paid for room and board, usually just for two. Shaytan stayed in the dining rooms and never seemed to sleep, and after a while, he held the same mug, but never drank from it. He stopped eating, too.

  I wondered if he’d eaten and drank to appear more human to me. And now he’d abandoned it. More often, he appeared distracted. When Wilhelm sat next to me in the dining areas, he’d avoid me, sulking in a corner.

  At first, I ate in the dining area along with other travelers.

  Slowly, as we often traveled in the rain and then snow, and as I couldn’t wash or trim anything, I stopped going into the dining area altogether.

  Sometimes we camped outside of town instead if the inn was full in a particular place, but it was those times that I actually preferred. It was lazy of me to go to inns all the time instead of sleeping in tents, the luxury of not having to make camp appealing.

  However, I breathed easier when we were alone, away from other people.

  When the looks I got from people turned from moderate interest, into something darker. Not even showing the hilt of my sword, a symbol of the king, did much to convince people that they could talk to me or wanted anything to do with me.

  I couldn’t blame them. The first few months, it was easy to pass people without having bathed or tidied myself. I did my best to keep the dirt away, but I never wiped at myself as per the rules.

  My nails grew out to a length that was uncomfortable. While I never trimmed them, I often did the wood collecting in hopes they'd break off naturally through manual labor. Sometimes they did, but I was promised by Shaytan such a thing wasn't breaking the rules. And it didn’t matter much, as nails being broken like that hurt, and the results were usually more painful and ugly than just letting them grow.

  It was the smell I developed that was the worst. Rain was infrequent, but even during some sudden rainstorm, I'd lift the hood of the bearskin. I'd stand in the rain.

  Only it made things worse. Without being able to remove the cloak, I only dampened the fur, and it often smelled moldy. It added to the smells of my body. I remained soaked through and I made everything else dank if I went inside the tent. It was better to just stay dry.

  Even Wilhelm commented on it often.

  “Do you always need to wear that thing?” he asked. “Can’t I wash it for you?”

  “No. It's a long story.” By now, I knew for sure the only one who co
uld see Shaytan was me. Wilhelm took over carrying a heavy tent and supplies, and I shared the burden with him, carrying bedrolls and food. The moment Wilhelm joined me, Shaytan did nothing but make comments, follow us, and allowed us to do the work. He was unhappy with me.

  Why did I find delight in his cranky, upset mood?

  I was okay with doing the work. I realized when I wasn’t doing anything, I was overtaken with my thoughts. I suspected that’s what he wanted, for me to drive myself to misery just thinking.

  Shaytan remained by the fire that Wilhelm set up when we stopped at night. He put his arms around his knees, sometimes growling like a bear at the fire.

  Wilhelm stirred a pot of stew as it cooked. “You were a soldier, you said.”

  “Yes.”

  “What happened to you after the war? Why didn’t you go home?”

  I told him of my brother, and eventually, I told him how I was looking for Thorne.

  “Do you seek revenge?” he asked. “Is that why you travel so far?”

  “Not really,” I said. After such a long time, my desire for revenge had diminished. But finding Thorne, finding out the answers I wanted to know, it gave me purpose. I had no idea what else to do with the seven years of my time with Shaytan. “I’ve unanswered questions.”

  “You travel a long way for answers.” Wilhelm gazed into the fire. “Is he the reason you wear the bearskin?”

  As indirectly as Thorne was responsible, I didn’t want to give that impression to him. It surprised me how despite what happened, I was protective over my own thoughts of Thorne. “No. Not really.”

  “Are you ever going to tell me about it?” He paused. “Do you need me to earn my trust? After what happened, I guess I should have to. I’d be upset as well and I’m not sure I would be brave enough to trust others again.”

  “Don’t tell him the truth,” Shaytan said.

  “A demon made a bet with me,” I said instantly.

  Shaytan stood up and walked away, into the dark surrounding our camp, muttering along the way.

  Wilhelm’s eyes widened and his jaw slackened. “You’re kidding.”

  “I’m not. The bet was for seven years, I’ll wear this cloak made of bearskin.”

  “How much time do you have left?”

  I counted it off. “Six years, two months.”

  Wilhelm whistled low. “That’s a long time. It’s lucky you have me, then.”

  “I can trust you with this secret?”

  “You can trust me with anything,” he said. He poured out a bit of the stew into a bowl, broke off some bread and passed these to me. He made some of the same for himself before he joined me on the log. “For a while, I thought you were crazy. I actually feel better.”

  “You’re not asking as many questions as I thought you would,” I said. “Demons aren’t common here at all.”

  “I’ve come across a few in my life,” he said. “There are more here than you think. And they are pretty tricky. Why would you make a bet with one? Was it for money?”

  “Why would you think it was?”

  “That’s usually all they’ve got to offer. Or what most people ask for anyway. Lots of money.”

  I poked at my stew with the bread, letting it scoop up meat and potato to eat. “Why is it they’ve got so much? How do they create it?”

  He shrugged, lowering his bowl to look up at the sky. “It’s some sort of magic. I’m not sure they don’t steal it from somewhere else. I imagine it’s why they’re often so bitter and grumpy. It’s the only talent of value they’ve got that anyone wants, and it’s no real magic at all.”

  “You mean the money could belong to someone else?” I reached into my pocket, pulling out a couple of coins. “This is someone else’s?”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know specifically. But you should ask him. Where is he, anyway?”

  I looked up to where I last saw Shaytan wandered off. “He walked away when we started talking about him.”

  Wilhelm scanned the area I’d been looking at. “Was he here?” He paused and then gasped. “Oh, so that’s who you talk to when you mumble.”

  “You couldn’t see him.” I said this with confidence now, knowing that to be the case.

  “I didn’t realize…but now it makes sense.” He rolled his head back, laughing. “Now I wished I’d prodded you sooner for answers.”

  “They can make themselves invisible to whoever they want?”

  “Usually people they don’t like. Which is mostly everyone. But I imagine he dislikes me a lot.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve defeated his kind before. I won a bet and reclaimed my soul.” He squinted at me, at my face. “Can you at least lower the hood?”

  I did, revealing hair that was matted up.

  “You know,” he said. “I could braid your hair for you. Would that be against the rules of your bet?”

  “I’m not allowed to comb it, but…would parting it to braid be the same? I don’t think so.”

  “Tying it back at the least will make it easier. We could re do it every few months when it grows out.” He put down his bowl and turned more toward me. “Take your hair out.”

  “I can’t unclasp of the cloak.”

  “Dig it out. Or here…let me. I’ll be gentle.”

  I hesitated, but it made sense to do like he said. And with his help, it’d become more manageable. As it was, it was a matted mess at my neck and had become so hot and uncomfortable in the bearskin.

  He pulled the strands out, looking at the length. “It’s already very long. Was it long before you started?”

  “At my waist.”

  “It’ll be at your feet before the end. There’s a tale about a girl with long hair, as long as a tree.” He started to make a braid with five sections. I couldn’t see what he was doing, but he worked quickly, with a skill that told me he’d done this a few times before. “I should tell you the story sometime.”

  He took his time with the braid, careful not to comb and give cause to Shaytan to claim I had failed the bet. I was worried Wilhelm would recoil at how oily it was in parts, sometimes with dirt and bits of sticks or dried bugs. He didn’t remove any, but some occasionally fell as he worked.

  “What happened to you?” I asked him while he worked. “With your bet?”

  “Oh, he made a mistake,” he said. “He told me I could have whatever I wanted if I gave him the sight from one of my eyes. He didn’t set the rules of the agreement to be about money at all.”

  “And you gave it to him?”

  “I did. I think he suspected I’d ask for gold, since I was poor. Instead, I asked him if I could repel any bad things out in the world. Witches. Demons. I didn’t want to encounter anyone else who would harm me.”

  “It didn’t work,” I said. “You encountered those people who wanted to kick you out of their town.”

  “It was fine. You came along. That’s sometimes how it happens. A chance encounter and I’m okay later. It’s not always the same. But I suspect that’s why your demon probably doesn’t like me. He can’t do anything to me. He’s repelled by the sight of me.” He finished the braiding and brought it around my shoulder to show me. “Look at this. It’ll be less troublesome now for you, I think.”

  It was a good idea. His skill with the braiding was interesting. “I’ve never seen this style. And I didn’t know men knew how to braid.”

  “I know a few things. I think next time in town, we should look for wax. It would give it a good coating to protect it. And it’d decrease the smell.”

  I wondered if waxing was against the terms. I hadn’t thought of that. Could I do it to the bearskin? “I haven’t been aware of such a thing.”

  “I’m sure he didn’t bother to tell you.” He sat down again next to me and looked at my face. “But why did you bother with such a bet?”

  “It wasn’t really the money,” I said. “I know I probably could have survived without it. But…I think I just wanted to prove I could.
”

  “Yours is the worst I’ve heard of. Seven years is a long time.”

  It hadn’t sounded so long when I started, yet with his desire to cover the smell and care for me so I’d live with it better stirred feelings in me I hadn’t experienced before. Repulsed by my own future, it’d all only get worse from here.

  Maybe I wasn’t as brave as I thought.

  Wilhelm continued to watch me, and in a surprising change, he put a hand on my back, his fingers going into the fur of the cloak. “Please don’t look that way,” he said. “I know it seems like a long time, but…it isn’t forever.”

  It was odd he’d touch me, but then he’d just braided dirty hair.

  I looked over at him, puzzled. “I’m not afraid of this. Although I see no reason why you’d stay. With what I’ll have to endure…”

  The corner of his mouth lifted. His one good eye remained on my face, and almost seemed to be glowing in the light. “We’re the same,” he said. “We’ve been touched by demons. You’re still dealing with yours, but I think you’ll win your bet. But if you need one person in the entire world to understand, I would probably be the one.”

  “Then I got lucky.”

  “I don’t think it was chance you came by. This has to be fate.” He pulled his hand away and pressed it to his chest. “Adelina, you’re a kind soul. I’ll say your prayers for you, since you can’t. I can be your voice in villages if you don’t wish to offend the people.”

  “Why would you want to?” I asked.

  He seemed to consider this carefully. “I’ve never met a girl as brave as you. Or anyone else for that matter. You stuck your neck out for me. I think if you hadn’t run into me, I would have been too nervous to talk to you.”

  “You’re not nervous now.”

  He looked at my face, at my hair in the braid and then back at my eyes. “I am…”

  I blinked at him. “Do you fear me?”

  “I fear how I feel about you.”

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. I thought it was just gratitude for someone who wished to be around me when others didn’t.