Shoots and Tatters (Bitter Ashes Book 5)

by Sara C. Roethle

  I shook my head. “I was born here. I’ve always lived here.” I left off that Freyja believed I belonged on this earth. Hecate didn’t yet know that Freyja was involved.

  Hecate shook her head. “I destroyed Yggdrasil so they could not send me away, but that created new energy to replace me, for trees like Yggdrasil are of this earth. When that new energy arose, I was cast out. I was forced into a nearly dead realm with my followers, and the Morrigan took my place on earth. She tormented mortals. She was selfish just like a human. I watched over the land from a distance until she destroyed herself, retreating in spirit to another realm. I’d hoped I could find a way to return, but another was born in her place, and then another after that, eventually leading to you.” She scowled. “I knew it was only a matter of time until my energy was reborn into one of the Vaettir. A being who could potentially live forever, stealing my place on this earth. So you see, I am the one who belongs here, and you should not exist.”

  Her words cut through me like a knife. I wanted to argue, but somewhere deep down, I knew she was right. I knew I had never truly belonged. I was too dangerous to be near humans, but not quite Vaettir either. I might share their blood, but I was something entirely foreign to them.

  “No,” I argued, despite my doubts. “My energy was reborn here for a reason.”

  “To fill the void I left,” she hissed, “nothing more. Leave now, and your loved ones will not be harmed. I swear it. You and your child may live safely in my realm. I will use the well’s power to destroy Yggdrasil, and you and I will both be safe from the gods forever.”

  My stomach twisted at the mention of my loved ones. She was yet to kill them all. Would she truly keep her word if I left voluntarily? My palms began to sweat, adding to the stickiness I already felt from the damp cave.

  “Won’t the same thing happen again if you destroy the tree?” I questioned, grasping for time. “Won’t you be cast out again?”

  Her lip curled up into a sneer. “Not this time. The tree you created is not like the original Yggdrasil. It does not maintain balance. That’s why wild magics are leaking into this world. The original Yggdrasil would not have allowed such a thing to take place.”

  I blinked at her. “So you really just want me gone so you don’t have to share energy with me? Are you that power hungry?”

  She tilted her head. “I am not power hungry. I simply refuse to lessen myself for all of eternity. I will not have you live here, only to be reborn.”

  “What will you do if I refuse to go?” I blurted as a sudden thought hit me. She couldn’t just kill me, because my energy would be reborn somewhere else, keeping things off balance for her. She needed me to agree to go back.

  She took a step forward. “I had hoped you would leave willingly, but if not, you will leave all the same.”

  I remembered how easily she’d disappeared with her handmaidens when we’d confronted them, and took a step back. It seemed like she hadn’t accessed the well’s power yet, but could I risk it? If she managed to grab me, could she transport me all the way back to her realm?

  “Wait,” I hissed, holding my hands up and taking a step back. “I wouldn’t send me away just yet. Not if you don’t want the gods to come down here themselves.”

  “What do you know of the gods?” she growled. “Loki does not speak for them all. If he told you—”

  I shook my head, wiping a damp strand of dark hair out of my face. My leather coat felt slick with moisture. “It wasn’t Loki. Odin told me himself that if you remained here, extreme measures would be taken.”

  She tilted her head at me. “How did you meet the All-Father?”

  “He’s been watching,” I explained. “He knows what you’re up to. I’m definitely not your biggest problem.” If I could just distract her from the well for even a few minutes…

  “Liar,” Hecate hissed. “Odin cares not for this realm.”

  I shrugged. “Don’t believe me then. You’ll wish you would have listened when he takes the well.”

  Her green eyes practically bulged out of her head. “He cannot. I need it to—” she cut herself off.

  “To what?” I questioned, wishing Silver would hurry up and rouse himself if he yet still breathed. I needed a distraction.

  “Nevermind,” she growled, taking another step forward. “Come with me.”

  She was close enough to reach out and touch me. I needed to act now. I closed my eyes and reached for the only power available to me. The power of all those Hecate had killed. It was only human energy, not as strong as that of the Vaettir, but there were so many bodies. So much life wasted.

  “Don’t you dare,” Hecate snapped.

  I felt a tug on the energy and opened my eyes. Hecate’s face was still. I would have guessed she was sleeping standing up if I couldn’t feel her sucking in the energy from the dead she’d left above ground.

  Acting upon the distraction while I could, I said a silent prayer for Silver, then darted around Hecate for the well. Quickly noticing me, she whirled around just as my hands clamped down on the bronze rim of the cauldron.

  The thrumming energy I’d sensed intensified, but it was nothing I could use. It wasn’t the type of energy I was familiar with.

  The next thing I knew, Hecate was crouched beside me. She put a hand on my wrist and tugged, but I refused to release my grip on the cauldron’s rim.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing,” she argued. “Get away from there.”

  I turned wide eyes to her, surprised she wasn’t tugging me away more forcefully, or transporting me back to Yggdrasil. Had she truly not yet taken the well’s power? Was she still in a state of sharing energy with me in this realm?

  With a defiant smirk, I removed the hand she wasn’t tugging on and stuck it into the light emanating from the center of the cauldron. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but if I could get to that power before Hecate…

  “That won’t work,” she sighed. “The well is not fully in this realm. Neither of us can access its energy when we are not at full power. That is why you must leave this realm.”

  So she couldn’t access it either? It was the best news I’d heard all day.

  “Well in that case,” I began, then cocked back my free hand and punched her in the jaw.

  It was an awkward punch using my left hand while crouched down, but it was enough to rock her head back and loosen her grip on my wrist. Unfortunately the momentum tipped me forward into the well. I caught myself before I could topple all the way head first into the basin.

  “How dare you!” Hecate gasped, but her voice was distant.

  My face was engulfed in the gentle light of the well. It seeped into me, making my belly grow warm. I realized with a start that the energy was somehow being drawn toward my baby, toward Erykah, and managed to pull myself back out of the well.

  “You would dare hit a goddess?” Hecate asked, staring down at me.

  I stood, unsure of what had just happened to me. I reached for the long blade down my back and withdrew it, careful not to slice off my braid. “Add it to the list of things I probably shouldn’t have done,” I quipped, stepping forward with the blade outstretched at my side.

  Despite my external confidence, my stomach was quaking and my palms were sweating so much I could barely hold onto the narrow sword’s grip. What had the well just done to my baby?

  I didn’t feel well enough to fight, but if Hecate didn’t have the power here to squash me like a bug, I needed to end this before she became strong enough to kill everyone I loved.

  I stepped toward her with my blade, then nearly staggered as the energy around us lurched. Cool death energy shifted through the space, flooding toward Hecate.

  “Our energy may be shared,” she stated, “but I am a goddess. You are merely a mortal remnant of Yggdrasil.”

  Suddenly the energy she’d been sucking in shot outward. It hit me, but rather than knocking me down, it flowed through me.

  I exhaled in relief, then smiled. “You m
ay be a goddess, but you and I are cut from the same cloth. Death energy is as much mine as it is yours.”

  She snarled, then flicked her hand toward the stone ceiling above us. I sensed the power as it shot over my head, then instinctively threw myself to the side as a massive chunk of stone fell down right where I had stood. My shoulder hit the damp ground, making a sickening pop that sent a jolt of pain through my spine. I cradled my belly awkwardly, trying to sit up while searching for the sword that had clattered from my grasp.

  When I finally blinked upward, tears of pain creeping out of my eyes, Hecate stood over me. She smirked. “We may be able to access the same energies, but only I know how to use them.”

  My eyes widened a moment before a shovel slammed into Hecate’s head. She dropped like a sack of rocks to the ground beside me. I stared at her in shock for a moment, then turned my eyes upward to the culprit.

  Alaric.

  Behind him stood Faas and Sophie.

  “I told you I sensed her energy,” Faas chided. “She’s not trapped in another realm after all.”

  “What the hell are you doing here!” I cried.

  “We could ask you the same question,” Faas quipped as Alaric dropped his shovel and fell to his knees in front of me.

  He reached out a hand to hover over my shoulder. “You’re hurt,” he muttered, looking over the rest of my body.

  I shook my head and with my uninjured arm scooted away from him. “You can’t be here. You’re changing the future!”

  He narrowed his gaze at me, confused.

  “You already know time travel is possible,” I blurted, wanting to explain things as quickly as possible. Maybe there was still time for him to go back and not upset the future too much. “Well I did that,” I continued as Alaric, Sophie, and Faas all stared at me. “The current time Madeline is trapped in Hecate’s realm. I’m the future Madeline. Odin sent me back to stop Hecate. If I screw this up, we’re all dead!”

  Alaric rocked back on his heels, stunned. “I know there’s no way you could be here. We came straight from Yggdrasil to this place, only stopping for a moment to drop Aila off at the end of the driveway. So, I know you could not have made it here before us, but . . . ” he trailed off, clearly having trouble comprehending my story.

  Hecate groaned beside him, beginning to come to.

  I struggled to my feet, clutching my injured arm against my chest. I had a feeling my shoulder was dislocated, but I wasn’t strong enough to pop it back into place myself. I needed to kill Hecate, but I needed everyone else to get out and go back home. If Alaric wasn’t at the house to meet Freyja, would it change us gaining her as an ally?

  Sophie stepped around Alaric, grabbed my shoulder, then popped it back into place.

  I screamed, and would have fallen if she didn’t stabilize me with her sturdy arms.

  “There,” she said calmly, releasing me and stepping back. “Now, if you truly are from the future, which I believe judging by your horribly dated outfit, and Faas has changed the past in leading us to you, the damage is already done.”

  Faas muttered angrily under his breath, but didn’t argue.

  “So the sensible thing to do is deal with Hecate,” she continued, “and hope for the best.” She turned to look down at the goddess, her gown tangled around her bare legs as she groaned on the floor, seemingly unable to regain full consciousness just yet.

  My mind raced for the right answer, but nothing came. It seemed like Odin wanted me to kill her, but that might release her energy into the world, which might take my place. Would I no longer belong if I killed her? I had no idea what the best path would be now that I’d not only changed the past for Silver, but for everyone else.

  “Find something to bind her arms,” I ordered, then lifted my gaze to Faas. “Do you think you can drain her energy?”

  He blinked at me, astonished. “Drain the energy of a goddess?”

  I nodded. “She’s weakened in this realm because I’m here too. We need to get back to the house and find Freyja. She’ll know what to do.”

  “Freyja?” Sophie, Alaric, and Faas all balked together.

  “Yes,” I muttered, searching around for something to bind Hecate’s hands since no one else was moving to help. “She should be at the house by now with Aila.”

  I knew from what little Alaric had told me previously that Freyja had been drawn to the house by Aila’s energy, so she was probably with her now. If they’d dropped Aila off on their way, they’d likely just missed her.

  Finally Alaric snapped into action and removed his belt, then knelt to begin binding Hecate’s arms behind her back.

  Faas knelt beside him, placing his hand on Hecate’s back. “I can keep her weakened for a time,” he explained, “…I think.”

  “Good,” I replied, slowly flexing my fingers to make sure my arm was in working order. It still hurt like hell, but seemed like it would be alright.

  As he drained Hecate’s energy, Faas looked up at me. “Something is different,” he observed. He stood and placed a hand on my belly.

  I flicked my gaze to the well. “I might have touched the big cauldron of magic,” I admitted. “Did it do something to Erykah?”

  He shook his head. “Her energy feels the same, there’s just more of it.” He turned his attention to the well, dropping his hand from my belly.

  “It is the same,” he gasped. He walked toward it and lowered himself to a crouch. “This energy feels just like Erykah’s. What is this thing?”

  “It’s the Well of Urd,” I explained, glancing nervously down at Hecate.

  Alaric moved to my side. “Strange wells aside, if we are limited on time, we should probably go.”

  I nodded, my mind snapping back into action. While Faas continued to observe the well, I hurried over to where Silver lay, then gasped as he blinked up at me. Recovering, I frowned. “You were conscious the entire time, weren’t you?”

  He scraped his shoulders across the ground in a horizontal shrug. “I was rendered unconscious by Hecate momentarily. Once I awoke, I realized that if the goddess wished to kill you, there was nothing I could have done to stop it. There was no reason to risk my life as well.”

  Suddenly I felt rage prickling up my back. I turned to see Alaric hovering over me, glaring down at Silver. “She could have been killed,” he growled.

  Silver sat up, shrugging off Alaric’s words. “I am not of your clan. She is not my Doyen. You should be grateful I risked myself at all.”

  I turned toward Alaric. Lifting my good arm, I gently grabbed his bare bicep. “Don’t blame him. He was very clear with me how far he was willing to go to protect me.”

  His expression softened, but only minutely.

  “Now we need to get in a vehicle and get back to the house,” I continued. “We only have until tomorrow morning to figure this out.”

  “What happens tomorrow morning?” Faas asked as he moved back toward Hecate and hefted her over his bony shoulder. The goddess was once again fully unconscious. Faas had done his job thoroughly.

  I met Alaric’s gaze as I replied, “The me from the present will return to this realm with Mikael and Loki, and things will get real weird.”

  “Lovely,” Faas muttered sarcastically, walking past us to carry Hecate out of the cavern.

  The rest of us followed, though Silver kept his distance from Alaric. I didn’t blame him. I could still feel Alaric’s anger like a hot poker being dragged across my skin. Underneath the anger was fear and confusion, and I couldn’t help dwelling on the fact that those emotions wouldn’t be improving once the present day me returned and admitted she’d made out with another man.

  14

  It didn’t take long to escape the murky cavern and return to where my truck had been parked, right behind Silver’s sports car. I’d filled everyone in on my little adventure with the gods, if only to distract myself from all the corpses we passed. There were no police to be seen, which left me wondering just how much carnage had occurred. How ma
ny more were dead around the city for it to be so silent? I hadn’t forgotten what Odin had said about Hecate placing the city within a bubble of power, but I wasn’t sure if that had only happened in the other timeline, or if Hillsboro was somehow cut off from the outside world even now. Whatever the case, it didn’t seem to prevent people from leaving or coming in.

  As we climbed into the truck, and Silver into his car, a sick knot formed in my stomach and refused to let up. Even if I was changing the past enough to stop Hecate from killing everyone I loved, so many others had died, innocent humans who had nothing to do with the chaotic, violent world of the Vaettir.

  I sat in the front passenger seat, not feeling well enough to drive. Alaric assumed the wheel while Sophie and Faas sandwiched Hecate’s limp body in the back seats, keeping a close eye on her.

  Alaric started the ignition, backed up, then turned the truck to drive back toward the house, all the while keeping his free hand on my leg, as if afraid I might disappear.

  “If all you say is true,” Faas began, leaning forward from the backseat, “then why don’t we just kill Hecate while we can?”

  I turned to see him glance at her, then shook my head. “Trust me, I considered it, and if I’d had no other choice, I would have. The only issue is I’m not quite sure what killing her would do. When I returned to this realm, which I’ll be doing tomorrow, we had learned that Hecate would need to utterly obliterate my energy in order to exist here at full power. That was why she had trapped me in her realm. If we kill her, if we even can kill her, her energy might be released here too, then I might no longer belong. I really don’t want to give the gods any reason to kill me.”

  “But you do belong here,” Alaric argued, keeping his eyes on the road.