Shoots and Tatters (Bitter Ashes Book 5)

by Sara C. Roethle

  I sighed. “Yes, but technically, so does Hecate. I just want to speak with Freyja before we do anything that might upset the balance of this realm, hence making the gods none too happy with me.”

  His eyes on the road, Alaric shook his head, an expression of disbelief on his face. “I still can’t believe you ventured to the realm of the gods.”

  “Tell me about it,” I replied, placing my hand on top of his where it rested on my leg.

  “And where was I when you were taken there?” he asked.

  My gut clenched painfully. I’d tactfully avoided that part. How do you tell someone that in your timeline, they’re dead? My gaze flicked to Sophie in the rearview mirror. They were all dead. I fought the urge to vomit. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen to me when all was said and done, but at least my loved ones now had a chance of survival.

  “Madeline?” he pressed when I didn’t answer.

  I squeezed his hand. “I’ll tell you when all of this is over, I promise.”

  He took me at my word, and we continued the drive in silence. I had royally screwed things up by changing everyone’s pasts, but hopefully Freyja would be willing to help. In this timeline, she hadn’t yet met me, but I’d be handing her Hecate on a silver platter, so maybe she’d be willing to believe my wild tale, and maybe, just maybe, there was hope for us all yet.

  When we reached the house, the knot still hadn’t left my gut, and I started to wonder if something was wrong with me physically . . . besides the scrapes and bruises provided by Hecate. My thoughts darted back to the light from the well, and Faas’ observations. Could a little extra energy hurt my child?

  There was no time for my thoughts to linger on the worst case scenario as we pulled up to the dimly lit house. Our headlights illuminated several figures standing near the front door. I immediately recognized Freyja, and struggled to quickly release my seatbelt and stumble out of the truck just as the vehicle came to a slow stop.

  Freyja and Aila both whipped their gazes to me as I approached. Further back were Alejandro and Frode, both looking like they had their hackles up about something.

  Freyja watched me curiously for a moment as I walked toward her, then balked at something behind me. I stopped walking and turned to see Sophie and Faas lugging Hecate out of the truck. Alaric came to stand by my side.

  “How did this happen?” Freyja gasped.

  I turned back toward her. “This may be hard to believe, but you actually know me. The you in the future just sent me down Yggdrasil’s branch from the realm of the gods.”

  She stopped her approach toward Hecate, finally turning to fully regard me. “That’s absurd. Time travel is forbidden.”

  I shrugged. “So is letting Hecate use the Well of Urd. Odin sent me back in lieu of severing the World Tree branch in your realm.”

  “Odin?” Freyja hissed, echoed by Aila.

  I nodded. “Yes, and we have limited time. So I need you to tell me what to do with Hecate now that we have her. She and I share the same energy. Will killing her release too much of said energy into this realm? Can we take her back to her realm and maybe trap her there?”

  Freyja blinked her shimmering blue eyes at me, then quickly recovered her cool demeanor. “Who are you, and why should I believe your insane story?”

  “This would be so much easier if Loki was here,” I muttered, grasping for a way to make her quickly believe me.

  “Loki?” she questioned. “Where is that little weasel? He’s the reason I’m here to begin with.”

  I sighed. “He’s in Hecate’s realm, waiting to help the present day me to escape with Mikael. I need you to trust that I know what I’m talking about. The present day me will return to this realm in the morning, and I don’t know what will happen.”

  She pursed her full lips and looked me up and down. “Well you do share Hecate’s energy. Let us continue this conversation over a meal, and then I shall decide whether or not I believe you.” She turned to Aila expectantly.

  “Yes!” Aila blurted. “Please come inside.” She gestured toward the front door.

  “Finally,” Freyja said, rolling her eyes. “I had begun to think your people would question me until I starved.”

  She turned away from us as Aila explained that I was Doyen of their clan, so my trust outweighed any suspicion on the part of the others.

  I rolled my eyes and followed, with Alaric and the others trailing close behind. It was funny how little nuances within the same timeline could differ, like Freyja being forced to wait outside rather than being directly invited in.

  There was only one thing that seemed to stay consistent throughout all timelines: the gods were always hungry.

  Ten minutes later, Freyja was scraping the remnants of chili from her bowl, and mulling over all I had told her. Hecate was tied to a chair beside us at the dining table, her energy continually drained by Faas as a precaution. However, now that we had Freyja on our side, and Hecate was at a low power level from sharing energy with me, I wasn’t as worried about her waking up. In fact, it might be a good thing. She might be willing to make a deal with us that would allow things to go back to normal.

  Alaric, Sophie, and Faas all sat around the table in the seats nearest to me. They remained silent through my explanation, likely still trying to believe the elaborate tale themselves.

  “Now,” Freyja began, sucking her spoon clean, “tell me again exactly what Odin ordered you to do.”

  I sighed, glancing at the clock on the adjacent wall. The night was only just beginning, but I couldn’t help being anxious about wasting what precious time we had.

  “I was supposed to prevent Hecate from using the well,” I explained. “Which,” I gestured to Hecate tied up in her chair, “I did. Now I just need to figure out what to do with her.”

  Freyja stared at Hecate for several seconds. “Fine. I suppose it does not matter if I believe you when it comes to her. She must be placed back in her realm, and the branch of the World Tree that allowed her to escape must be severed.”

  “Thank you,” I sighed, close to exasperation. I winced at a pang in my belly.

  “What is it?” Alaric asked, carefully watching my face.

  I cringed, leaning forward, but the pain would not abate. “I don’t know,” I rasped. “I thought it was just nerves, but maybe something is wrong.”

  “Faas,” Alaric said sharply, summoning him from his chair.

  Flipping his white-blond hair out of his face, Faas hurried to my side, then placed his palm against my belly. I watched as he closed his eyes, sensing my energy, and that of the baby.

  The pain became like a second heartbeat, reverberating through my abdomen and down my legs. I began to feel lightheaded. I felt Alaric stroking my hair, then the world went black.

  I woke up to sharp pain lancing through my insides. I was in an oddly familiar bed. Fluffy white pillows surrounded me and a fire was crackling in the nearby hearth, chasing away the darkness.

  A sudden jolt of pain wracked my entire body, lifting me from the bed. I forced my eyes open as hands pressed down on my shoulders. “She’s awake!” Alaric’s voice called.

  Faas’ face came into view, then Sophie’s, then . . . Sif’s? What the hell was I doing back in the realm of the gods?

  “Out of my way,” Sif demanded, her golden hair shimmering in the firelight. Sweat glistened on her plump cheeks, as if she’d been running before I awoke. Without warning, she lifted up the bottom edge of my blanket, along with the hem of the nightgown someone had put me in.

  “What the hell!” I gasped.

  Alaric sat by my side and leaned over to cradle my head, rubbing his hands up and down my biceps. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “We think the baby might be coming.”

  “But it’s not time!” I shouted in his face. “You people are crazy!” I continued, my gaze darting frantically around the room. “It’s dangerous to have a baby this early!”

  “You are not human, Madeline,” Alaric said softly.


  The bed shifted on my other side as someone sat. I turned to see Sophie.

  “It’s okay, Maddy,” she soothed. “We’re all here.”

  I shook my head, trying to shove away my terror and confusion. This wasn’t right. Not only could I not have a baby right now, but what about the me that would soon be returning from Hecate’s realm? Would she arrive only to find Alaric and Sophie missing?

  “You guys have to go back to our realm,” I managed to grunt through the pain. “When present day Maddy returns, there won’t be anyone there to meet her.”

  “You are present day Madeline,” a voice said somewhere behind Sif’s back. She’d luckily let the blankets fall back down to cover me.

  I relaxed just an iota as Freyja stepped forward to where I could see her. “When I brought you back through Yggdrasil, you were brought back into the proper timeline for your present day self. You’ve already gone to Hecate’s realm and come back.”

  I looked around the room frantically. “If that’s the case, then where is Mikael?”

  I whipped my head to the side in time to see Alaric’s frown, and suddenly I knew they were telling me the truth. I’d come back from Hecate’s realm and told Alaric about mine and Mikael’s kiss.

  “If I’m the present day me,” I began between pants, “then why the hell am I having my baby?”

  Freyja sighed. “The past you and present you are the same people, so what you did to stop Hecate still happened. Just think of it as you having experienced this for twelve hours, bringing you up to the present time, only twelve hours haven’t passed.”

  I shook my head, gritting my jaw against the pain. “So I still went to Hecate’s realm, but I also didn’t go, because I was in my realm? Then what about Mikael? He was only in one place during that time. He’s still in that place in this time!”

  “Don’t worry about your Viking friend,” she replied. “The Loki that was here to send you to Yggdrasil fetched him from the present that was present to you, after you changed the past to prevent his death. Time tends to balance itself out when it can. Your companions are now missing a short length of time in their timelines, but it should be inconsequential to their continued existence.”

  My brain began to ache almost as much as the rest of me. If I was the present me in a present time, and Loki had retrieved Mikael from the new present, that had to mean . . .

  “So I officially saved them?” I gasped, darting my gaze back to Freyja. “It worked? Hecate didn’t kill them on any timeline?”

  She nodded, a small smile playing across her lips. “Well she killed them in one timeline, but that timeline is no longer your reality. You have a bit of a dual reality now, with being in two places at once, but since it was such a short span of time it shouldn’t affect you too much. Hecate is here, for now. She will be awarded a trial, after which she will ultimately be banished. Mikael is with Loki . . . discussing things with Odin.”

  I would have been relieved if I didn’t feel the sudden urge to vomit. Anther wave of pain took over, making the corners of my vision turn white.

  Sif lifted the blanket again, and this time I didn’t have the strength to fight her. “It’s time,” she said.

  “No, no, no,” I said over and over again. I wasn’t prepared for this. I was still supposed to have plenty of time.

  Someone placed a hand on my forehead, and cool energy washed over me. Death energy.

  I opened my eyes to see Faas sitting by Sophie, his hand stretched to my forehead. “Do not be afraid, Madeline,” he said softly. “I will help replenish the energy you have lost. You are ready for this.”

  I nodded, though I didn’t believe him. I turned my gaze to Alaric, who smiled down at me as he took my hand, giving it a squeeze.

  I closed my eyes as my body convulsed, and gave in to the fact that this was happening. I was about to have my baby in the realm of the gods, while Mikael and Loki were likely bargaining with Odin for the sake of us all.

  Leave it to me to screw up something as natural and uncomplicated as giving birth.

  “Breathe,” Sif instructed, glancing up from her post at the foot of the bed.

  My blanket and nightgown had been thrown up, leaving my lower region bare to the room. Though a bit embarrassed, the upcoming contraction cancelled my modesty. I was grateful only Faas, Sophie, Alaric, and Sif were in the room, though I would have preferred a hospital with an actual doctor. Freyja had left us at least, feeling she should not be part of the intimate moment.

  Another contraction wracked my body, and Faas pressed down more firmly on my forehead, soothing me with his energy. Sandwiched against my other side, Alaric clutched my hand. Sophie had stepped back toward the head of the bed. I could sense her discomfort like a small gnat buzzing around the back of my skull, but she refused to leave the room.

  I cried out as the pain stabbed me like a thousand knives. “Is this how it’s supposed to feel?” I panted. “It feels like something is wrong.”

  “Your baby is highly magical,” Sif explained calmly. “She is coming now because your body became too weak, and could no longer contain her power.”

  I wanted more information, but the pain hit me again. Another contraction, stronger than the previous. I could barely feel Faas’ soothing energy now. Another contraction hit me.

  “She’s coming!” Sif said excitedly.

  Alaric squeezed my hand and leaned forward to see. I tried to watch him through the stars clouding my vision, then finally had to shut my eyes. Contraction after contraction hit me as my body naturally began to push out the baby. I’d heard horrible tales of twenty hour long labor, but apparently Erykah wanted out now. At least there was that.

  I screamed again through the pain.

  “Just a little more!” Sif encouraged.

  I screamed again, then pushed, and suddenly I could hear a baby crying, though it sounded distant, like I was in a dream. I heard splashing water with continued crying.

  Alaric stroked sweaty strands of hair back from my face, his gaze flicking between me and Sif, who was tending the baby. My heart ached with anticipation. I needed to hold her. Finally, Sif walked around the bed. Blood and other fluids stained the white sleeves of her dress, and in her arms she held a small form, swaddled in a cream colored cloth.

  My heart exploded as she set Erykah in my arms. I looked down at the now calm baby. I was completely enamored.

  Alaric leaned back and put an arm around my shoulders, cradling us both with adoration. I couldn’t believe it had all happened so quickly. I couldn’t believe she was actually in my arms, real.

  Sophie and Faas both hovered over us as Sif backed away.

  Sophie reached out and gently stroked Erykah’s reddish cheek. “I know a first name has already been chosen,” she crooned, “but I strongly suggest a strong middle name like Sophie.”

  “I’ll consider it,” I whispered, my eyes glued to my child.

  The firelight flickered off the gray of her half-closed eyes, and her sparse shock of black hair. She blinked up at me, unbelievably calm, and I couldn’t help but feel like I held an age-old being in my arms. Her magic pulsed against my chest.

  Alaric stared down at her in awe. “Can you feel her magic?” he muttered. “How did we create something so . . . light?”

  I nodded, tears of happiness in my eyes. Though I’d come to terms with my death energy, and no longer thought of it as evil, it had also caused me so much struggle. I hadn’t wanted my daughter to go through that. I still didn’t know just how she’d turn out, but the energy I sensed from her was nothing like mine. It felt like the first kiss of sunshine on a calm, babbling brook, while mine was the pale shadows cast by the moon.

  “She’s perfect,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

  Her eyes had fluttered closed, and she seemed fast asleep.

  Alaric pulled me closer, while Sophie and Faas made themselves comfortable at the foot of the bed, silently watching the three of us.

  We were still trapp
ed in the realm of the gods with many obstacles before us, but in that moment, I reveled in the feeling of family. It was a feeling I’d never thought to have, but I’d somehow found it in spades.

  Mikael glared up at the All-Father, sitting up on his dais, lording over him and Loki. He’d always felt great reverence for the gods, but this one…well, he was kind of a prick.

  “You’ve completely changed the past and allowed wild magics to continue flowing into Midgard,” Odin growled, his pale eyes narrowed into angry slits. “Now you expect the gods to further aid you?”

  Loki bowed his head respectfully. “What Mikael is trying to say, is that if you would so graciously allow him, perhaps he could still fix things. Madeline did prevent Hecate from using the well, as promised, and even took her prisoner.”

  “Yes,” Odin hissed, “and you brought her here to disrupt our realm. The sooner we execute her and send her energy back down Yggdrasil, the better.”

  “Of course,” Loki agreed. “And the sooner we send the Vaettir back to fix the disaster in their realm, the better.”

  Odin scowled. “We must first decide what to do with the child.”

  “The child?” Mikael balked. “She has already arrived?”

  Odin inclined his head.

  Mikael wasn’t sure how Odin had known when the baby was born, none of them had left the room, but it didn’t matter.

  “If you’ll excuse me,” he bowed his head, concealing the emotions within him. He knew Erykah was not his child, but he couldn’t help feeling almost as excited as he had when his own daughter was born, many centuries ago. Now, he needed to see Madeline. He needed to—

  He waited as Odin glared down at him, then finally nodded his head. “You are dismissed. Be prepared for Hecate’s trial in the morning. We will settle the rest of our business after that.”

  He practically ran from the room while Loki stayed behind with Odin.

  As soon as the door shut behind him, he fled down the hall, retracing the steps he’d taken earlier when he’d been forced to leave Madeline and the others behind. Odin had wanted an audience with the Doyen of their clan, and with Madeline unconscious, that only left Mikael.