“If he’s here with Meghan, I really won’t be able to handle it,” I tell her. “I’ll have to move.”
It’s been one thing to lose him to her. I’ve sort of come to grips with that and I think it’s because I don’t ever have to see them. There’s no running into each other at the store or having to watch them walk down the street like the perfect couple.
“Yes, you will be able to handle it,” she says with conviction. “You’re not the same girl you were back then.”
The phone rings and I groan. “I swear, someone has to explain what an antique store is to Mrs. Dickman.”
I grab the receiver and brace myself for the same conversation that happens every single day.
“Island Antiques, this is Teagan.”
“Hello, Teagan, this is Mr. Beeson from the middle school.”
“Oh, yes. Hi, Mr. Beeson, is everything okay?”
He takes a small pause. “I’m going to need you to come down to the school and pick up Chastity.”
“Okay? What happened?”
“There was an incident with another student and I’m afraid the school has very strict policies regarding bullying.”
My poor daughter. This kid doesn’t deserve to be picked on by anyone. She has never gotten in any trouble, and I can only imagine how much this upsets her since she prides herself on having a perfect record.
“Did she come to you about it?” And then it dawns on me that they want me to pick her up. “Why would I have to get her? Is she hurt?”
“No, she’s okay, just come down here and we can sort everything out.”
“Okay, I’ll be right there.”
I hang up the phone and tell Nina what he said.
She clutches her chest. “Poor thing, I’ll stay here until you get back.”
“Thank you! I’m sure my mother will stop by. Let her know I had to get Chas.”
“Just go!” She shoos me out the door.
On the ride to the school, I go over a million scenarios. Did someone make her cry? Did they hurt her? I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for the way I treated others or stood by and watched when my so-called friends bullied anyone they didn’t deem worthy. I was as culpable as they were. Now my daughter is on the receiving end of other people’s cruelty and I can’t help but feel this is some sort of karma.
I park the car and go inside to find her sitting in the office.
“Chastity,” I say her name and she leaps up, running toward me. Her arms wrap around my middle and I hold her close. “Don’t let them see you cry.”
She looks at me, nodding her head in understanding.
There’s nothing that vile people thrive on more than the pain of others.
“Ms. Berkeley,” Mr. Beeson calls my name. “Please, come in. We’ll ask you to join us in a few moments, Chastity.”
I touch her cheek, leaving her in the front office as I walk down the long hall with Mr. Beeson.
“As I said on the phone, we take bullying very seriously here.”
“Yes, I hope that whoever was harassing my daughter will be punished,” I say as we move toward his office.
“I think you’re misunderstanding.” Mr. Beeson touches my arm, stopping me from going forward.
“I’m sorry?”
“It wasn’t Chastity who was being bullied, Teagan.”
No. That makes no sense.
“You’re confused,” I say with a short laugh. “My daughter is the farthest thing from a bully. She’s kind even when people have been horrible to her. She’s dealt with constant ridicule her entire life thanks to this town and now you’re trying to tell me that she was the one bullying someone?”
Of all the ridiculous things I’ve ever heard, this tops the cake.
“I wish I could say it wasn’t the case. Chastity has always been a model student, but I saw this with my own eyes.”
“Mr. Beeson, you’ve known me my whole life. You’ve known Chastity since she was an infant. Do you really mean to tell me that you saw her being cruel? Isn’t there a chance that maybe you saw something else?”
I babysat Mr. Beeson’s youngest daughter. I’ve sat next to him at church every week since I was eight. Probably because my mother thought maybe I would behave if I thought my principal was watching. He knows us. He knows the hell I’ve been through and he has seen my sweet girl never hurt a fly.
“Chastity has admitted to it all.”
My jaw falls slack as I clutch my throat. This can’t be. I truly don’t believe it. “Well…”
“Let’s go in my office, we can talk about it further there.”
I’m in shock. That’s the only way to describe it. I’ve fought so hard to teach her how to be nothing like me and now she’s bullying someone. My heart is breaking and I feel even more like a failure.
Mr. Beeson opens the door and someone gets to their feet. Nothing could’ve prepared me for this.
No number of pep talks or knowing this was possible would’ve been enough.
Time stops. My heart races and everything inside of me is tight.
There, standing, looking out of the window in a pair of dress pants, a crisp white button-down, and an opened tie is a man I haven’t seen in forever. A man who I can still feel beneath my fingertips if I try hard enough. A man who knew me better than I knew myself and the only man I’ve ever truly loved.
My lips part as the name I’ve tried to keep off my tongue slides out. “Derek.”
Chapter Five
Derek
Present
I should’ve known it would be her daughter.
This was the moment I was dreading when I decided to move back here. I knew that we’d have to see each other eventually. In this town, avoidance is damn near impossible and it’s part of why I didn’t come back here sooner. I fought as hard as I could to stay in South Carolina. This place holds too many memories for me. Too much pain and now I have to come face-to-face with it.
Teagan stands there, unable to mask her emotions, and even though so much time has passed, I can still read her. She’s confused, happy, angry, sad, and there’s a hint of disappointment under it all.
I cut ties with her years ago because it was the only option. Now, I’m face-to-face with her all over again.
Time has done nothing to dull how beautiful Teagan is. She stands there, her eyes full of confusion and apprehension, and yet, she’s breathtaking.
Teagan.
God help me to keep my distance from her.
“I really hoped it wouldn’t be you,” I say as she stays quiet. The hurt flashes in her eyes and I realize how what I said might sound to her. “I mean that it wouldn’t be you as the parent of the child who was harassing Everly.”
“Right. Not that Everly didn’t possibly start it, right? Because I was a shitty kid, I must’ve given birth to a shitty kid.”
“Everly has never had issues before.”
“And neither has Chastity.”
Mr. Beeson explained as much, but yet here we are. Her daughter is harassing mine when she’s been through hell.
“My point is,” I continue, “this is the last thing that she needs. With losing all she has, we really hoped that this would be a safe place for her.”
Teagan runs her fingers through her long blond hair and sits in the chair. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but we’ve lived here forever and not once has Chastity ever been in any trouble. She’s kind, honest, hardworking…in fact, she works with your dad.”
“I heard.”
My father sang the girl’s praises for an hour over the phone. He said how she’s the polar opposite of Teagan as a kid. And yet, here I am because on day two in the new school, she’s harassing my daughter.
“I’m sorry, but this is crazy, Mr. Beeson. Again, Chastity isn’t a bully. In fact, she said yesterday that she was being bullied by Everly. So, what now? Why is she the only one in trouble?”
The sad part is, I don’t doubt that Everly was bullying Teagan’s d
aughter. She’s the opposite of me as a kid, but not so different from her mother. Meghan was popular, beautiful, smart, and adored—like Teagan.
Mr. Beeson takes his seat and motions for both of us to sit, but I remain on my feet. “It seems that while you two may have been friends a million moons ago, they haven’t taken to each other quite yet. Chastity did explain that Everly was making fun of her for…her parentage. I only heard Chastity’s rebuttal.”
“Just like us,” I say with a huff. “We didn’t like each other in the beginning.” Flashes of the past fill my head. The way Teagan and I could barely speak to each other…seems our children are following in our footsteps.
“So.” Teagan crosses her arms over her chest, leaning back in the chair, clearly ignoring my comment. “We’re going to punish Chastity for defending herself? I thought you were always an advocate of standing up for yourself.”
“Why don’t you hear what your perfect daughter said to mine, and then maybe your tone will change?”
There are lines that no one should ever cross. Whether Everly started it or not, there are only so many things my kid can handle, and this isn’t one.
Teagan glares at me. “Why don’t we hear the entire story, Derek?”
“Sure.” I mimic her posture, only standing.
“Okay,” Mr. Beeson says while clearing his throat. “According to Chastity, she was at lunch and Everly started making fun of her regarding you.” He looks at Teagan.
“Her?” I ask.
He nods in response. “Yes, I’m paraphrasing here, but she said something about…at least not having a slut for a mother who couldn’t even trap her boyfriend right. Something about her not being smart enough.”
Teagan gasps and my stomach drops. “How…where…where would she even have heard something like that?” I ask.
This is crazy. Everly doesn’t know anything about Teagan.
“Probably from her father,” Teagan suggests.
“I’ve never said anything negative about you. I sure as hell wouldn’t say anything like that!”
The fact that she thinks I’m even capable of thinking that way is ridiculous. I was there. I saw how that entire pregnancy went down. There was no trapping. Hell, she didn’t even fucking like Keith by the time she was pregnant. I still think there’s more to that story than she ever let on. Our friendship ended for other reasons, but I never would’ve said anything about her like that.
“It seems she learned it somewhere,” Teagan says while shaking her head.
“Regardless of what Everly said, which I will definitely deal with, that didn’t give your daughter the right to say what she did.”
“What did Chastity say?”
I brace myself to contain my anger. Everly doesn’t deserve to be put through any more pain—she’s had enough of that in the last six months. I have to control myself and remember these are kids.
Mr. Beeson shifts, looking uncomfortable. “Chastity said her mother may be all those things, but at least she didn’t have to die to get away from her.”
Hearing it again is no better.
Teagan gets to her feet. “I don’t…I don’t understand.” Her eyes meet mine, filled with confusion. “Die? Meghan is dead?”
I don’t know how she could possibly have not heard. This town hasn’t changed in twenty years, and everyone talks. “You mean to tell me you didn’t hear? I had at least four people stop me on my way into school, not to mention the five who brought food to my mother’s since we arrived.”
Her lips part and she keeps shaking her head in quick movements. “I didn’t know…I swear.”
Teagan’s hand covers her mouth and tears form in her eyes. She didn’t like Meghan, and Meghan sure as hell hated Teagan. No matter what the two of them tried to feed me in the beginning. But seeing this girl, who I once loved more than anything, grieving over the woman who destroyed that love, makes the emotions I’ve smothered come back to life.
My heart aches, my chest tightens, and I suddenly, for the first time since Meghan’s death, want someone to comfort me.
Of course it would be Teagan that is my undoing.
“How? Why didn’t you call me? God, why didn’t anyone tell me? I would’ve come, Derek. I would’ve, even though we…I would’ve been there.”
When the tear falls down her cheek, I break.
For the first time in six months, it all hits me.
Chapter Six
Teagan
Nineteen years old
“I met someone,” Derek says as we’re sitting at our monthly dinner.
I try so hard to look happy but I hate it. “You met someone?”
“Yeah, she’s great. I met her in my econ class.”
“Well, that’s great, Der.” I pop a fry into my mouth to keep from scowling.
It’s not great. I hate her and I don’t even know her name. Regardless, she’s not good enough for him. He’s the best and he doesn’t even see it.
Gone is the goofy kid who I couldn’t even imagine ever kissing two years ago. Now stands a very, very attractive man. He’s filled out in all the right places, found the gym, and he’s still the same sweet Derek I love.
Love.
God, I’m so stupid. I have to try to get this under control because loving him is the dumbest thing I could do…but yet I do.
I love him so much it hurts. Every month I have to remind myself that he’s my best friend, not some guy to lust over.
Plus, he doesn’t see me that way. He never has.
“I think I’m in love with her.”
My drink goes flying out of my mouth.
“Jesus, Teagan!” he complains as he wipes his face.
“Sorry, but love? How long have you guys been together?”
He sets the napkin down. “Six months.”
“Six months?” I shout. “And you’re just telling me now?”
What the fuck? I tell him everything and he’s keeping things from me like this?
“Calm down, I know how well you react to…new people.”
I roll my eyes. “No, I just don’t like the girls you bring around.”
“Yeah, because the dickhead you’ve been with for the last four years is a fucking winner.”
“We’re not talking about Keith. Besides, we both know how I really feel about him.”
Now it’s Derek’s turn to be irritated. “But you won’t dump him?”
Because then I wouldn’t have an excuse as to why I can’t be with you.
I don’t say it because I’m ridiculous. Derek and I are best friends. He’s the man I know one day I’ll be with, but right now, I can’t until I get my life straight. I’ll be ready to admit the truth, just…I need more time.
Keith is comfortable, and he doesn’t expect anything from me other than to be at his games, which I have to be anyway, thanks to my cheerleading scholarship. Then there’s the fact that Keith is safe. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just the guy. Derek goes to school two hours from here whereas Keith is at the same school as me. It’s nice having someone close. I don’t feel so lonely all the time.
“I know it doesn’t make sense to you, but it works for us. You’re not around, and he is.”
“You need to stop being so dependent on him. It’s okay to be alone.”
“Says the serial boyfriend?”
Dating someone new has never been a big deal before. He usually lasts about two months with a girl before he realizes she’s not for him, they break up, things go back to normal, and I rest easy again. He’s never dated anyone longer than four months. Until now.
Derek leans back, watching me with curious intent. “Why are you upset anyway?”
Because I don’t want you to be serious with anyone.
Because it’s you I see in my future.
Because you should love me.
“I’m not. I’m hurt. You should’ve told me. We talk all the time and have dinner once a month. You’ve forgotten to tell me about the new girl or you didn’t want to tell
me?”
He crosses his arms and releases a heavy sigh. “I knew you’d act like this.”
“Like what?”
“This! Like I’ve done some horrible thing and betrayed you. I really like Meghan. I love her, Teagan. And as my best friend…” He may be saying it as though I’m important, but right now, I hear the words as much more. He’s reminding me of my place in his heart. I’m only the friend and I’d do well to remember it. “I would think you’d be happy for me.”
I close my eyes, shoving down my feelings for him and focus on how many times he’s been there for me. How many nights he held me when Keith said something mean or I’ve gone back and forth about leaving him.
Countless shirts I’ve soaked over stupid things with my family or friends and Derek has always been there. He has always been my rock, and I’m being selfish.
Slowly, I lift my gaze to his. “I am happy for you, if you’re happy. I was just taken by surprise, that’s all.”
“You’d really like her, Tea.”
I doubt that.
“If she likes you, she clearly has good taste,” I say with a smile.
Derek laughs. “Yeah, I’m such a catch. I don’t know how the hell I convinced her to date me. She’s beautiful, funny, smart…a lot like you.”
My chest constricts. “So, she’s amazing?” I try to joke it off.
“She could be the one.”
So could I, if I wasn’t so afraid to tell you and hope you felt the same.
Chapter Seven
Teagan
Present
“I’ll give you two a moment,” Mr. Beeson says as he walks out.
Derek turns his back, hiding the pain so clear in his eyes. “Derek.” I call his name, but he doesn’t move. “I’m so sorry.”
He shifts, his head shaking before lifting toward the ceiling. “Don’t say shit you don’t mean. We all know how you felt about Meghan.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No, none of it is fair,” he agrees, but not about the same thing.
All I Ask Page 4