Bears of Burden: STERLING

by Candace Ayers

  I rested my head against his shoulder and looked over at him. “And you still go with that?”

  His other hand was on the curve of my hip and he lightly slapped my ass. “We called a truce while we’re in here. This is a cave of sex and good things. Not anger and name-calling.”

  I grinned and shrugged. “Just curious. The guy in here with me isn’t the guy I heard rumors about in town. I want to know which is the real Sterling Mallory.”

  My heart raced as he remained quiet. I didn’t know which I was really hoping for. If he was the generous guy who’d given me more orgasms than I’d ever had at the hands of another in my life, I was going to be crushed when I walked out and had to call it quits. If he was the chronic womanizer, I was going to be crushed when I walked out and he didn’t think twice about me after I just had the most incredible night of my life.

  “This is me. I mean… At some point, I was that asshole. I can’t act like I haven’t done shitty things. I slept around, I made a joke of everything, I hurt your brother because I could. Dealing with the consequences of my actions, though, has kind of put things in a different perspective for me. You’re my mate. I fucked up enough to make my mate think that I was too horrible to be with. That kind of hurt runs deep.”

  I sighed. Shit. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I’d given in and I didn’t know if I’d be able to quit him. Already, I felt like an addict. Lying in Sterling’s arms was the most I’d felt at home since being back in Burden. I couldn’t be with him, though. I owed Kyle my loyalty. He was the only family I had left. I had to be there for him.

  “I’m sorry for what I did to Kyle. Now. Because of you. I’m sorry I hurt your brother. The guy can be a dick, but I fucked up. I should apologize to him, but every time I’m near him, he tries to knock my teeth down my throat, and I’m not sorry enough to let that happen.”

  I groaned. “He would be so hurt to know that I’m here with you.”

  Sterling’s fingers tangled in my hair and pulled my face around to his. “We’re mates. He’ll get over it.”

  I laughed and couldn’t help running my fingers over the stubble on his face. “You don’t know Kyle. He hates you. And he doesn’t understand mates. Plus, he never wanted to know anything about bears since he didn’t get the trait. He was always bitter that his sister was a bear and he was just human. If only he knew how much I would’ve been willing to trade him.”

  “Why?”

  I sat up and looked at him. “Seriously? I turn into a furry bear. Not just a furry bear, but a fat one. Not just a fat, furry bear, but a clumsy fat, furry worthless bear who has no understanding or knowledge of life in the outdoors. I sprout fur at random times if I’m upset and I break things. It’s horrible.”

  He looked at me like I’d spoken a foreign language. “Ophelia, bears are big. That can’t be helped. And your bear isn’t worthless. Every cub learns about nature the same way, by exploring. Didn’t your parents teach you?”

  I shook my head. “My dad wasn’t a shifter. Mom was, but she was so worried about upsetting Kyle and Dad all the time that she tried to minimize what being a shifter was actually all about. I never really played outside as a bear. If I had to shift, I’d hide out in my bedroom.”

  Sterling grunted. “Seems Kyle has always been a dick.”

  I frowned. “He’s my brother, Sterling. He’s nice to me. He used to come all the way to Nashville to see me if I was ever having a hard time.”

  Sterling stood up, setting me on my feet and held my shoulders. “It’s been a good night. Let’s not talk about Kyle anymore. Can I see your bear?”

  I frowned even harder. “No, Sterling, you cannot. She’s not cute.”

  He gave me a stern look. “Let me be the judge of that.”

  I growled. “Sterling, it’s embarrassing. With the exception of the granny panties, I’ve felt sexy with you all night. I don’t want to ruin it by turning into some fat, hairy beast.”

  He moved away from me and winked before shifting. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was standing in front of me. Sterling’s ocean colored eyes stared out at me and he seemed to be grinning. He casually leaned against the cave wall, slipped on a slick rain-splattered rock and fell backwards on his butt.

  I doubled over in laughter before I could stop myself. It was hilarious to see such a formidable animal look so silly. When I straightened, I had tears in my eyes. “Fine. I’ll shift. Only because you’re so foolish, though.”

  I moved farther away and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and focused on letting my bear out and within seconds, I was her, standing in all my furry glory in front of Sterling’s bear. I fought the urge to cross my paws over my chest. It just felt so weird shifting in front of another person.

  I hadn’t shown another soul my bear since I was a kid, and even then, it was usually just my mom.

  Sterling came towards me, his eyes taking me in. He threw his head back, and I instantly recognized his loud roar as a happy one as it echoed through the cave. He rubbed his nose against my head and I felt a warmth blossom in my chest that had everything to do with being home.

  I rubbed against him, too, freer than I could ever remember feeling. I watched as he moved towards the cave entrance and beckoned for me. I shook my head, not wanting to show him how much of a human I still was while in my bear state.

  He stepped out in the rain, anyway, stood on his hind legs, and tilted his head back before dropping to all four feet. He looked at me over his shoulder, let out playful growl and then took off running.

  My bear reacted instantly. Forgetting the usual hang-ups, I dropped to my feet and chased after him. Sliding and falling in the mud, I had no chance of catching him as he bound into the creek and then turned to face me.

  I wanted to laugh, but the sound came out as a choppy growl that he seemed to understand. I turned and ran from him, never before wanting to play like I did now.

  Sterling caught me in no time, his big body running into my side and pushing me to the muddy ground. He shifted back to his human form and ran his hands through my fur, petting my side. “You’re beautiful.”

  I shifted back and grinned up at him from where I was lying naked in mud. “We’re filthy.”

  He leaned down and captured my mouth. “You haven’t seen nothing yet. Want to get dirtier?”

  I did, I really did.

  CHAPTER 11: Sterling

  The sun was coming up over the hills when I dropped her off at the end of her street. I hated not being able to drive her straight to her house and walk her to the door, but she was adamant that Kyle not see us. I didn’t know how she planned on keeping us a secret. I fully intended to claim her. Unless Kyle left town never to be seen again, he would find out about our mating sooner rather than later.

  She looked over at me and bit her lip as a slow smile tilted her full mouth. Her eyes sparkled and her skin glowed under splatters of dried mud. “Don’t be mad.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not mad. I’m just already resigned to the fact that this sneaking around isn’t going to work. I’m going to claim you, Ophelia. I won’t hide that.”

  “Don’t say that.” Her cheeks flushed and the scent of her arousal filled the truck.

  I turned the truck off and took her in, wearing my mud-stained T-shirt and nothing else. We hadn’t been able to find her big underwear. No loss there. “Say what? That I’m going to claim you? But I am. I’m going to sink my teeth into you right before you explode all over my—”

  “Sterling!” Her shout was supposed to be a warning, but it lost its weight when rolled out of her mouth in more of a breathy moan.

  I caught the back of her neck and pulled her closer to me. “We’ll talk to Kyle together. Explain. Make him understand.”

  She pressed her hands against my bare chest and groaned. “I can’t. You know I can’t, Sterling. I’ll figure something out. This just has to be our secret for now.”

  I let her slide away from me and shrugged. “It’s a bad idea.”

/>   She opened the door and slipped out, tugging the shirt down to cover her ass. “It’s the best one I’ve got right now.”

  “What happens when this has gone on for six months or a year? I’m just supposed to stay hidden in the shadows?”

  Her eyes went wide. “Six months or a year? I can’t imagine this mate thing will last that long, right? I mean, I’m sure you’ll be bored with me sooner than that. In the meantime, we’ll figure it out. I’ll see you later. I hope you like the article.”

  I watched, dumbfounded, as she pushed the door shut and then ran down the road towards her house, holding the shirt down as she did. Won’t last that long? Was she serious? My chest felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. She still didn’t get the mating thing. It hurt like hell that she assumed what we had was temporary, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to show her otherwise while she was so dead-set on keeping us a secret.

  She had some ridiculous plan to sneak around for covert rendezvous and clandestine trysts and that didn’t give us a hell of a lot of time for anything but hot and heavy hook-ups. I knew that with what little time I would get with her, I’d have a hard time using it to talk. I craved her too much. Fuck. I suppose it was progress in a weird way. It was at least better than the cold shoulder I’d been getting from her, but dammit, it wasn’t enough. Tasting her had shattered any hope I’d ever had of living without her. The damage was done. She was mine.

  I’d just have to figure out a way to show her what she meant to me while trying to keep to her cloak-and-dagger ruse.

  I went home and slept for a couple of hours before heading to Hutch’s garage to check on my car. I pulled into the lot and sighed when I saw Hutch standing in front of my trailer with Thorn. My trailer was parked in front of the bay door, at a weird angle that made it hard to move and impossible to get the car off. Hell.

  I parked in front of the trailer as best I could and groaned, getting ready for a ribbing from Hutch.

  “Were you fucking drunk when you parked this piece of shit last night? High? Mentally incapable of seeing that you’d blocked every single one of my bays? How the fuck am I supposed to work like this?”

  Thorn grinned. “More like horny. You nearly ran me and Allie off the road last night. I saw you with a hot little number in the passenger seat.”

  Hutch’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. “Tell me you didn’t.”

  “Didn’t what? Was she married? Shit, I’m out of the loop. Who was it?”

  “Kyle’s little sister.”

  “Kyle Barns?” Thorn roared out a laugh. “Like that asshole doesn’t hate us enough as it is.”

  “You can’t keep your dick in check, can you, little brother? Why her? She already did a number on you. Why’d you go back again?”

  “Shit! That’s right! She punched you in the dick, didn’t she?”

  I growled. “Could you two shut the fuck up for two seconds. You’re pecking like a couple of old hens. Jesus.”

  Hutch gestured towards his shop. “Think I have an excuse to peck, bro.”

  “Christ, it’s rubbing off on me. I’m listening to Allie and Georgia and Veronica and everyone else they bring over peck constantly.” Thorn hid his face in his hands in mock shame.

  I stared at Thorn. “You done?”

  He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. “Yep. Just realizing how much I sound like a little bitch.”

  Hutch lifted a shoulder. “Yeah, you do. You alright?”

  Thorn groaned. “Why do girls talk so dang much? And the things they say that I don’t want to hear. Shit, I’ve been forced to overheard shit that I never needed to know. Like, ever. By the way, sorry ‘bout your dick, Hutch.”

  I just stood there, listening as they pretended to commiserate with one another about the negative aspects of having a mate. For once, I didn’t feel like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I just grinned along with them.

  Hutch finally noticed and looked over at me. “Why are you doing that?”

  “What?”

  “That thing with your face. It’s almost a smile, if it wasn’t so American Psycho.”

  I reached up and touched my face. “Bullshit. It’s just a smile.”

  Thorn winced. “No, it’s creepy, dude. What’s going on with you? I feel like you’ve snapped or something.”

  “You guys suck. Worst buddies in the world. I’m going to have to go find Sam and Wyatt, my real friends.”

  Hutch wrapped his arm around my neck and rubbed my head with his knuckles. “Now who’s being a little bitch.”

  I broke away and shoved him. “I’m gonna hurt you.”

  Thorn saved him, “What are the chances that Wyatt’s mom still has breakfast on the table?”

  “Pretty good. Last one there sits in the broken chair.” I took off at a run, yanking at my clothes as I went. It’d be faster as a bear. I looked back and saw them right behind me, shoving each other over as they tore their own clothes off. “Oh, by the way, Kyle’s sister, Ophelia, is my mate.”

  CHAPTER 12: Ophelia

  I was going to kill Sterling. Even though the sex was the best thing in the world, he had to pay. He had the biggest mouth in all of Texas, and that was saying something.

  My day had started out great. I walked around all morning in the hazy glow of post-coitus after playing in the rain all night with my sexy mate. It didn’t get much better. I didn’t run into Kyle in the house, so I was able to sneak in without a problem and without lying to him about where I’d been. I wrote a glowing article and turned it in to Karen, who was thrilled with it and with the picture I’d snapped of Sterling. I found a few extra dollars in my pocket and bought an avocado to eat with my lunch. Life was sunshine and roses.

  The day started to get a little rocky when I returned home after work and Kyle asked me to go with him to watch a football game that the local guys held behind the bar. I figured that we wouldn’t do much talking while he watched football. It would be safe enough.

  Halfway through the game, though, I’d looked up to see Allie, Georgia, and Veronica staring at me. Georgia crooked her finger motioning for me to join them and my heart began to race. I knew them from book club and around town, but they’d never beckoned me over like they were doing then. I felt like I was being called into the principal’s office.

  For some reason, I just knew they knew about me and Sterling. Panic made me shake my head and turn back towards the game. That’s the precise moment when things started to go sideways.

  Kyle looked over at me and then past me. “Your friends are waving at you, Philly.”

  I pretended not to hear him and pointed at the game. “Did you see that?”

  He raised his eyebrows. “What’s up? You’re acting strange.”

  Georgia’s voice came from right beside me. “Hey! Didn’t you see us? We girls have some chatting to do.”

  I turned to face her, giving my back to Kyle. I made a face and shook my head. “We have the thing tonight. I’ll find you guys there. Right now, I’m enjoying some time with my brother. Alone.”

  She made a confused face. “How can you sit here and pretend like you haven’t been keeping a huge secret? Come on!”

  Kyle perked up. “Secret? What secret?”

  Georgia laughed. “Well, I’m sure you already know—”

  I stood up and grabbed her. “Gotta go, Kyle. I’ll be back shortly.”

  “What’s your deal? You’re acting weird.” Georgia let me pull her to the very far edge of the grassy area, farthest from my brother. Allie and Veronica slowly made their way over.

  “How do you know?” I hissed.

  Allie grinned. “About you and Sterling? Congrats, by the way. He might be a little on the wild side, but he’s hot.”

  I could hear Thorn’s growl from across the bleacher seats and Allie just laughed.

  I made a slashing motion across my neck. “Kyle doesn’t know! You’re not supposed to know either! Who told you?”

  They all turned to lo
ok at their mates, who were looking sheepish, next to Sterling who was glaring daggers at them.

  I threw up my hands and groaned. “I’m going to kill him. This is a disaster.”

  Sterling’s head snapped to mine. He frowned and growled under his breath, but I still heard it.

  I growled right back at him and shook my head. “Secret. What doesn’t he get about that word?”

  Georgia cleared her throat. “Why is it a secret?”

  Veronica wagged her finger. “Yeah, and why did you keep it a secret from us? We tell you everything.”

  Allie nodded. “We really do. Too much. Just last week, Veronica told you that thing about Hutch’s dick.”

  Veronica shrugged and giggled.

  “It’s a secret because my brother can’t find out. He hates Sterling.”

  “Kyle hates everyone.”

  “Yeah, except for himself.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “That’s my brother you’re talking about.”

  Georgia grinned. “And we respect that he’s your brother. It’s the truth, though. Kyle hates everyone. You can’t let the fact that he hates Sterling keep you from being together with your mate.”

  “I’m with him. I was with him all last night.”

  They all laughed and then leaned in closer. Veronica made a ‘go on’ motion with her hands. “Well. How was it?”

  I looked back at Sterling and felt my face heat up as he winked at me and leaned back in his chair, looking cocky and sure of himself. I bit my lip and stifled a laugh. “It was okay.”

  He sat straight up as his buddies started laughing. Growling, he stood up and started towards me.

  I squeaked. “Gotta go, girls. Please, don’t mention it to anyone else. I don’t want it to get back to Kyle.”

  They rolled their eyes in unison and shook their heads. Georgia caught my hand. “Come by tonight. We can talk over drinks.”

  Behind a stomping Sterling, Wyatt threw up his hands.

  Georgia laughed. “Apparently, we hang out and talk too much for our men’s liking.”