Bears of Burden: STERLING

by Candace Ayers

  Allie mimicked Thorn. “I don’t need to hear this shit, Allie. It’s making me crazy. I think about ya’ll’s shit way too much. Please, Allie. Go to Wyatt’s.”

  Wyatt smacked Thorn who tried to act like he had no idea what Allie was talking about. Sterling was closing in on me.

  I waved. “See you there. Remember! It’s a secret!”

  I turned and sprinted past a cluster of guys waiting to get onto the field. Into the woods I went, hoping to find somewhere private. Seeing Sterling all angry and moody had me eager to get him alone. Knowing he was chasing me made me hot and I swallowed down the knowledge that keeping it a secret was only going to work for so long. We were both too revved up, clearly.

  I raced through the woods as fast as my gracefulness allowed and found a little grouping of trees that lent itself to privacy. I swept my shirt over my head as soon as I was hidden and yanked my shorts down, the smile on my face cemented there, despite my frustration at the man who rounded the little tree corner and found me.

  He stumbled and his eyebrows shot up. “What are you doing?”

  I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me. “Keeping a secret. Take your pants off, big guy.”

  His growl was low and promising as he grabbed my hips and picked me up. “You invest in skirts and I’ll get baggier pants.”

  I moaned as his mouth immediately went to my neck. “Skirts with no panties. Got it.”

  CHAPTER 13: Sterling

  I adjusted myself under the table, trying to hide the constant state of erection I was in. It’d been a couple of hours since I watched Ophelia run off while still slipping into her shirt, but I couldn’t get the image out of my head. She’d looked back at me with so much promise in her silver eyes that I couldn’t help but dream of the next time I got her alone.

  Which…I didn’t know when that would be. My mood quickly threatened to go sour as I thought about the arrangement. No part of me was interested in running around like a teenager hiding from his parents. We were mates. Kyle was going to have to get the fuck over it.

  I drained a shot of whiskey and groaned. Mood officially turned, I shook my head and grabbed Hutch’s shot before he could take it.

  He hit me in the arm and grumbled. “Fucking get your own.”

  I glared at him. “I don’t want to hear any complaints from all of you lucky sons of bitches. None of your mates are making you sneak around like a little kid.”

  “Like a little pussy is more like it.” Thorn grinned. “She’s crazy if she thinks she can’t keep it hidden from her brother.”

  I growled. “One. Don’t call me a pussy. Two. Don’t call my mate crazy. But, yeah, she’s fucking crazy.”

  “Why don’t you just tell Kyle? She’ll get over it.” Sam shrugged. “She’s got to, right?”

  The rest of us just stared at him and then laughed. Even in my shitty mood, I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Brother, you’ve got no clue.”

  “And you do?”

  “Fuck you, Sam,” I nodded towards the door. “You want to get your ass handed to you tonight?”

  He grinned and shrugged. “Why not? I’ve got time and nothing to do. I was planning on meeting up with Haley, the Sanders’ girl, tonight, but haven’t seen her around yet.”

  I grabbed his shot and threw it back, too. “Alright, let’s go.”

  Thorn looked around and grinned. “Why the hell not. Come on. I’ll grab a couple of bottles.”

  We all headed outside, ready to act like idiots. Heading into the woods behind the bar, I groaned as I caught a light whiff of Ophelia still hanging around.

  Wyatt slapped my back. “It never gets any easier, man. Might as well take all your frustration out on Sam. He’s asking for it.”

  Sam nodded. “I am literally asking for it. I’m bored. All of you old farts are settling down on me. I don’t have anything to do these days.”

  I just grinned and stripped before shifting. He had no idea how much bottled-up shit I had going on. Not being able to joke away my feelings and act like a complete asshole had left me with a lot of emotional build-up. Thank god for good friends to beat the shit out of.

  Everyone stripped and shifted, all ready to brawl. It was nothing serious, just shifters getting out some pent-up energy. Sam was like a brother to me. I’d never actually want to hurt him. Brawling was natural and normal for bears, though.

  Sam ran at me and grunted when I easily met his force head on and we both toppled sideways. Rolling around on the ground, we fought until we were too tired to do anything else. The others played and fought around us, sometimes running over to growl and nip at us. It was something the five of us had done since we were little and it was nothing that we wanted our women watching. It was male bonding.

  When we’d all tuckered ourselves out, we waded into the creek and shifted back so we could enjoy the bottles of whiskey Thorn brought along. It wasn’t until they were bottoms up that we decided we needed to have some different fun.

  “I miss my mate.” Wyatt strolled out of the water and grabbed his clothes. “Let’s go break up their party.”

  Thorn and Hutch both nodded while laughing. Thorn grabbed his clothes and grinned. “Allie will be annoyed for a while, then we can have makeup sex. It’s perfect.”

  I hesitated for a few seconds and then caved. “I, apparently, am in the middle of a high school love affair that I have to hide. This will be a perfect cover for spending some time with my little mate.”

  Sam wagged his eyebrows. “I just so happened to know that there are a few single ladies in attendance at their soiree. I’m right behind y’all.”

  “Hey, Sterling, I forgot to ask. What’s it like being mated to another bear?” Wyatt laughed and shook his head. “Not too many female bears around here.”

  I stepped into my jeans and decided to just carry my shirt. “She’s beautiful. Her bear… Fuck. I didn’t know my bear could be so happy. She’s fun. And clumsy. I get the feeling she doesn’t shift much, so watching her is like watching a cub sometimes. She’s got issues with it because her parents didn’t let her shift much, and never in front of Kyle, I guess. That dickhead just keeps becoming more and more of an asswipe every day.”

  “That asswipe is going to be family, soon.” Hutch shivered. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

  “I’m happy to deal with him if it means getting to be with my mate. I thought I’d ruined it. I was afraid that I was never going to get a real chance with her. After the whole punch to the dick thing, I gave up.”

  “Rookie move.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it wasn’t my best. I’m done with that shit, though. She’s mine and I’m not ever giving up on her. She’s just going to have to get over it.”

  Hutch ruffled my hair and grinned. “That’s the little brother I know. There’s no quit in this family.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Alright, alright. Let’s go see what our mates are up to.”

  We walked through the woods, talking along the way. They were all my brothers. They didn’t question anything about why I hadn’t told them sooner about Ophelia. They just accepted it. We each had our own burdens to bear and they’d always accepted everything about me, even the not so pretty parts.

  I’d had just enough to drink to be honest with myself, and I knew that there were things I needed to discuss Hutch, man to man. There were things I needed to confess and things I needed to face about myself, too. Things I didn’t really want to deal with, but that I knew I had to in order to give Ophelia the best version of myself.

  Hutch put his arm around my shoulders and smiled. “Why the long face, brother?”

  I shook my head, realizing that it wasn’t the time. “Just thinking. I’m ready to see my little bear.”

  He nodded. “Man, I’m glad this is working out for you. You worried me before. You’ve always had a bit of melancholy surrounding you, but not like that day in the garage. You deserve happiness, Sterling. You’re a good man.”

  I looked away, embarrassed by
the emotions his words invoked in me. “Thanks, Hutch.”

  I had to talk to him eventually, but we’d leave things as they were for the moment.

  CHAPTER 14: Ophelia

  I was a terrible bear. I didn’t even hear the guys sneaking up, and I didn’t smell Sterling until his bare chest was pressed up against my back. I squeaked and turned around to find him smiling down at me. I could admit that my senses were a little stunted, but I had to blame the glass of wine for the rest of my cluelessness. Even if I’d been a better bear, I probably would’ve let a train sneak up on me with the buzz that I was floating.

  Giggling, I gazed up into the warm and smiling eyes of my mate before planting a kiss on his chest. Heat radiated off him and warmed me. His strong arms reached around and lifted me so I could wrap my legs around his waist. “What are you doing here?”

  He kissed me, slow and long, his hands wandering down to my ass. “We crashed your party.”

  I looked around and that’s when I noticed for the first time there were other men in the house. Feeling embarrassed, I pushed against Sterling’s chest, but he wouldn’t put me down. I sighed and slumped against his chest. “Supposed to be a secret, Sterling.”

  His fingers dipped lower, brushing over my core through my jeans. “We’re going to have to talk about that, but later. I can see neither of us are in the mood to talk.”

  I shook my head and ran my fingers through his short hair. I’d just had him a few hours earlier, but I wanted him again. “Let’s go home.”

  His eyebrows went up. “Home?”

  I shrugged. “My house. Kyle is gone. He’s seeing a friend in Dallas tonight.”

  “You want me to go to your house?”

  “It’s closer than yours.” I rubbed my chest against his and pressed my mouth to his neck. Nibbling him, I felt my body heating up. “Now, Sterling. Unless, of course, you don’t want to.”

  He growled and tightened his hold on me. Addressing the group behind me, he raised his voice. “We’re leaving.”

  I laughed as he rushed us out of there. Without either of our vehicles, he carried me all the way across town, through the woods, to my house. I marveled at how he carried me with ease, without breaking a sweat, despite the extra curviness of my body.

  When we got closer, I spoke in what I thought was a whisper until I heard it out loud. “Watch out for Mrs. Cummings. She’s a nosy thing. She sells makeup and is always looking for a new customer through her front window.”

  He grinned. “You think she’s looking for new customers at midnight?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe.”

  He laughed out loud then and just kept chuckling, even when I slapped my hand over his mouth. He snuck us around to the backdoor and then planted me against it so he could kiss the hell out of me.

  I forgot that I was worried about our neighbors and moaned as I arched my back, trying to be closer to him. “Sterling…”

  He kissed down my throat and growled. “It’s harder and harder to not sink my teeth into your neck, baby.”

  My hand closed around the doorknob and I twisted it, causing us both to stumble into the house. The door slammed open into the shelf on the wall behind it and something breakable hit the floor and shattered. When Sterling tried to put me down to check it out, I locked my legs around his waist and grunted. “Upstairs.”

  We took down a picture frame hanging by the stairs and a side table before making it to my room. Kicking the door closed behind us, Sterling tossed me on my childhood bed and laughed when one corner creaked and then dipped towards the floor.

  I buried my face in my hands and laughed. “You broke my bed!”

  He unbuttoned his pants and gave me a slow grin. “We could do a whole lot worse.”

  I bit my lip and crawled into the middle of the bed. “This is the first time we’ve done it in a bed and we broke it. Maybe we should stick to caves and trees.”

  He shoved his pants down, revealing his delicious body. “I’ll buy you a stronger bed.”

  I shivered and nodded. “Come here. I want to taste you.”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  ***

  “At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I have to say it again. We aren’t going to be able to hide this, Ophelia.”

  I knew he was right. Each time I looked at him, I felt the pull stronger and stronger. It was scary how connected I felt to him already. I kissed his chest and wrapped my leg over his. “I’ll talk to Kyle.”

  Sterling stroked his hands through my hair, catching tangles, and sighed. “I don’t want to hide this. It goes against my nature. I want to be able to take you out and show you off. I want to be with you every second I possibly can be. I want what my brother and friends have.”

  I grinned to myself, ignoring the anxiety I felt at the idea of talking to Kyle. “I never would’ve taken you for the romantic type.”

  “I wasn’t. Meeting you changed me.” He sat up to lean against the headboard and pulled me with him, cradling me between his legs. “I’d always heard that meeting his mate changes a man. It scared the hell out of me because I wasn’t too sure what it meant. I wanted a mate, eventually, but my life was easier before.”

  I cut him a look and crossed my arms over my chest. “So sorry for any complications that I’ve caused.”

  He ran his big hand up my stomach and chest before lightly capturing my neck and running his thumb over the pulse that was beating erratically there. “Not what I meant. I just mean… I used certain behaviors to hide issues that I didn’t want to deal with before. I don’t want to use those things anymore, so life is different now.”

  “What things?” I knew. I also knew I didn’t want to hear it from him. My bear paced in agitation, annoyed at the idea of any other woman touching him.

  “Women. Being a jerk. I made a big joke of everything, instead of dealing with my shit.” He cleared his throat and his other hand rubbed a soothing rhythm over my thigh. “This isn’t easy to admit to you. I want you to want me, not run away screaming.”

  I forced down the jealousy and anger and looked back at him. “I’m not running. Talk to me. Why did you need to hide things?”

  Sterling frowned and buried his face in my hair. Inhaling deeply, he moaned. “You always smell so good.”

  I wiggled. “Focus, Sterling.”

  His fingers curled around my inner thigh and tightened. “You keep wiggling like that and the talking portion of this evening will be over.”

  “Okay, sorry.” I grinned. “Go on.”

  His slow sigh told me that opening up to me wasn’t something he wanted to do, but it was something he needed to. “It sounds so stupid.”

  I turned until I was sitting sideways in his lap and rested my head on his shoulder. “I won’t think it’s stupid.”

  “I thought this didn’t feel permanent for you. Why do you want to hear this shit?”

  I ran my hand over his chest, trying to imagine the idea of never doing it again, the idea of walking away from him. It was impossible. “I just do. Now, get talking.”

  CHAPTER 15: Sterling

  I held her close as I brought forth memories of my childhood. “Hutch and my dad were always so close. They used to have these father son excursions. I just stayed behind, usually. It wasn’t that they refused to include me or anything. I just didn’t fit in with them, I guess. I usually hung out with mom. It sucked, but I’m glad Hutch got that time with Dad.”

  Ophelia stroked my chest and stared up at me. “Did something happen to him?”

  I nodded and took a few seconds to get my thoughts together before continuing. It wasn’t that I didn’t talk about Dad plenty; it was just still hard to say that he’d died. It still hurt. Over thirty, I still felt like I’d missed a chance to get to know my own father. I still felt cheated. “Yeah, he died when I was young. Hutch kind of grew up all of a sudden—too fast, and took it as his duty to provide for our family. He was the hardest worker. Still is. He got a job pretty much ri
ght away and started taking care of me and mom.”

  “How old was he?”

  I gritted my teeth and got ready for the awe in her voice. It was the same awe that everyone’s voice held when they found out. Yes, my brother Hutch was amazing. “Fourteen.”

  She bit her lip and nodded. “What did you do?”

  I blinked a few times and furrowed my eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean what did you do? You were so young. You lost your dad and then your brother took over the role as man of the house. I’m sure it was almost like you lost both of them at the same time.”

  I realized I’d tightened my arms around her too tightly and eased up. “I didn’t do anything. My mom went into a deep depression for years. Hardly ever got out of bed.”

  “How did you deal with it?”

  I looked down at my mate and thanked the world for sending her to me. “I don’t know. I didn’t. I made sure mom ate, took care of the house and shit, and other than that, I just sat around and let Hutch do everything. Not much has changed. He still works his ass off and I race cars a couple of times a week for a job.”

  Her face scrunched together. “You don’t really think that.”

  I looked around her room, looking for anything to steal my attention away from her question.

  “Sterling. You were a child. Hutch was, too, but he was older than you. You were just trying to survive, I’m sure.”

  “I don’t know. I always thought that maybe Dad knew the difference in us from the start.”

  “What difference?”

  I swallowed. “Hutch is a hard worker, serious, and fucking great man. I’m… Shit, Ophelia, I’m the guy who turns life into one big joke. The fuck-up. Cops, women, a string of jobs that clearly shows I have no idea what I want to do in life.”

  She sat up and straddled me, grasping my face in her hands. “You can’t really see yourself that way, surely.”

  I grunted, suddenly toeing the line of being way too uncomfortable to keep talking. I wasn’t supposed to be scaring my mate away, and yet I’d single handedly turned the discussion to how much of a loser I was.