On the Corner of Love and Hate

by Nina Bocci

  “Emma, what can you tell us about your affair with Cooper? What about Cooper’s girlfriend? How can we trust that either one of you is running a clean campaign when you haven’t been honest with the voters?”

  Kirby must have been watching us even more than I had realized. How could I have been so stupid not to think that someone from his team might be waiting outside Cooper’s house for the perfect opportunity to take him down when he was at his most vulnerable? I had to give Kirby credit, but I wasn’t about to let him take Cooper down this way.

  Rolling my shoulders back, I shooed away my deer-in-the-headlights look and composed myself. I channeled every bit of confidence I possibly could.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” I said loudly, thankful my voice didn’t crack. “You’ve saved me the time from organizing everyone for our announcement. Yes, Cooper and I were working very late last night on the campaign. In fact, I’ve been his campaign manager for a few months now. We agreed to keep my involvement on the back burner so as not to draw attention away from the issues. Hope Lake is Cooper’s main priority, which extends to securing the election. My involvement would have clouded that if it had been disclosed to the public. Clearly, by your reactions to what was a simple campaign meeting, we were right in keeping it to ourselves. Just because my father is the current mayor does not mean I cannot support a candidate I believe in. This campaign has been a nonstop, fast-paced ride, especially with the media circus in tow, but Cooper has certainly handled it all with grace. I think it’s a testament to his youth and stamina. It’s been like this for weeks: finalizing plans, organizing data, and continuing to discuss the issues, and all at the expense of his personal life, which he has tried to keep private.”

  “But, Emma, are you really telling us that nothing is going on between you two?” the woman with the photos shouted, giving me her best oh, please look.

  I waved a hand, feigning nonchalance. I was smiling on the outside and dying a little on the inside. I knew Cooper was hearing all of this, but what else could I say? They were going to piggyback this onto the Mrs. Jackson scandal and rehash it all in the press. There would be no coming back from it. And with the election just days away, we couldn’t risk any scandals. Not now.

  “Oh, there’s a ton going on between us.” I grinned, my smile so big it was beginning to hurt. “I think we’ve probably started looking alike since we’ve spent so much time together—people must think we’re related!”

  Buzzwords to throw them off the scent.

  “We’ve been friends for nearly twenty-five years. Plus, don’t forget that we’ve been working together in the CDO since he came back home to Hope Lake after college.”

  Make them remember that he’s lived here all his life.

  “You don’t offer to run a campaign for someone unless you’re fully convinced he is the best possible choice for public office. I think I have some experience with that.”

  Relate it back to your father, whom everyone adores.

  “Not to mention the fact that Cooper is dating Whitney, who happened to be my college roommate and an old friend. How’s that for a coincidence? Small-town romances are a favorite of mine. They reconnected once the campaign began, and it looks like a great storybook ending is coming for all involved.” I made it through the last bit without throwing up on a crowd of reporters. That would have made the front page for sure.

  The crowd began chatting among themselves. Kirby was starting to look nervous, the smug satisfaction on his face melting away. From what little I could gauge, it seemed like a positive shift, but I needed to lay it on thicker.

  “The main thing that we want you to come away with today,” I continued, “is that while the other candidate has no qualms about invading someone’s privacy and wreaking havoc with fabrications and unfounded rumors, we’ve kept this election clean. We’re working hard to prove that if you have no message, no plan, and no action other than smearing the other candidate, you’re not the right man for this job. We hope to see all of you at the event this weekend, where we’ll be unveiling more of Cooper’s incredible new initiatives for Hope Lake.

  “Now, if you’ll excuse me: I have to get to work serving the people of this great town.”

  Without turning, I marched across the street. When I got to Cooper, who looked bewildered but was still grinning broadly because hello, cameras, I slapped him on the back jokingly and we walked into the building, the clicks of the cameras at our backs fading away to silence.

  • • •

  “WHAT THE HELL was that all about?” Cooper exploded the second the door to my office closed. We’d managed to remain silent the entire ride in the elevator to avoid prying ears. “What were you thinking?”

  I was pacing, trying to formulate some kind of response. Instead of bull, I went with the truth.

  “I wasn’t thinking about anything other than protecting you. Protecting this campaign. I’m sorry that I blurted all that out, but in case you didn’t notice, the whole thing just fucking blew up in our faces. I didn’t have time to plan!”

  “Everything isn’t about planning, Emma! You could have just said, fuck, I don’t know. Something other than Whitney Andrews is my girlfriend.”

  “The poll numbers would have plummeted, Cooper. Again. The whole reason we brought Whitney into this in the first place would have fallen apart. If you had another scandal involving a woman, or in this case two, could you imagine what they would think?”

  I threw a stapler against the wall. It smashed through, leaving a hole in the Sheetrock.

  “What, are you psychic now? You can’t predict what people will think, Emma!”

  “We both know what would have happened. Don’t deny it, I can see it in your eyes. You know I’m right.”

  He spun around angrily. “After what happened last night, I thought things would have played out differently. In fact, I told Whitney everything and to go back home.”

  My hand rested over my heart. It was thundering so loudly that he could have heard it. “You told her what, exactly? Cooper, you didn’t.” I couldn’t say the words we had sex out loud. I was barely saying it in my head.

  “Of course I told her. She’s my friend.”

  He paced my office as he pulled out his phone, presumably to call Whitney. He hit a few buttons and held the phone up to his ear, his jaw ticking the whole time. “Voice mail,” he muttered. “Hey, it’s me, call me as soon as you can. Something’s happened . . . We got bombarded and— Fuck, just call me back.”

  I had never seen Cooper so disoriented. He was like a caged animal, prowling in a pen and waiting to escape and attack the first creature in his path. Unfortunately, that creature was me.

  “Cooper, I’m sorry, but why did you tell her about—”

  “I’ve listened to everything you’ve told me to do. I’ve changed my hair, my clothes, the way I speak, how I walk. Do you know how much that hurts? Still? After all this time working so closely together? To know that there still isn’t anything about me that you think is worthy of this goddamn race? I thought after everything . . . You’re one of my oldest friends, and it’s like you’ve never liked me at all.”

  I reared back. “What did you say?”

  “You heard me,” he scoffed, walking to the window to stare out at the town below. The crowd must have still been there because I could hear their voices floating up from below.

  “Cooper, my feelings for you aren’t relevant here. I have always believed you were the best person for this job. That’s why I agreed to help. Nothing else mattered but you defeating Kirby. I did all this for you, but I lost sight of that somehow . . .”

  “What you’re saying is that you only agreed to run the campaign because you knew if I won, you would get whatever you wanted in the CDO. Me running benefited you as much as it did me. Don’t pretend to be all valiant and noble—we’re the same person, Emmanuelle. We both wanted the same damn thing. I was just honest about it.”

  “What do you want me to say? That you’re
right? That I did want you to win so that I would keep my job? Or that Hope Lake wouldn’t fall into a pit thanks to that idiot? I won’t apologize for that. We both know that. I was honest about it from the start.”

  He chuckled, but it wasn’t a friendly chuckle. It was sarcastic, snide, and it matched the wicked grin that twisted his mouth. I noticed the shift immediately. He turned, and although his eyes were still cold and angry, they now held a fire behind them that scorched my soul.

  “When you fucked me last night and then basically ran out as soon as it was over, were you thinking of the campaign then, too?” he asked coldly, moving closer so that I was forced to back up against the wall. “Let’s see how fucking pathetic we can all make Cooper look? Was that what it was?”

  “That wasn’t it, and you know it.”

  He moved another step closer. “I don’t know anything. You don’t tell me anything. I just have to guess. All the time, because Emma keeps everything inside.”

  I looked down, swallowing the feelings that were once again racing through my veins.

  “Why is everything so off course?” I asked in a small voice. “I made a mistake. We made a mistake. It doesn’t have to ruin anything.”

  How can we go back to the way it was before? I wanted to ask. The words were on the tip of my tongue, when his phone started buzzing, breaking the bubble we found ourselves in. He ignored it, but the moment passed. Fucking Whitney.

  “We can’t change what happened,” I said out loud, answering my own question and trying to get us back on track. We could never go back to how it was before; in fact, Cooper on some level had always done this to me. It was never a simple response when it came to my feelings for him. He ignited every emotion in me, from love to hate.

  He reached up, softly cupping my jaw with one hand while his other roughly curled around my hip, his nails biting into the skin beneath my skirt. It was as if he were warring with himself whether he wanted to remain angry or be gentle.

  “Do it,” I breathed, moving my lips against the finger that was near my mouth. My tongue darted out to lick it, and my stomach dipped when I saw his eyes flicker down.

  “Oh, now you want this? You’re pushing me on Whitney one minute and tempting me the next?” he demanded as he wet his lips, his eyes still on my mouth.

  I reached up and pulled him down to me, slanting my lips under his for the briefest of seconds before he stepped back, panting hard.

  “Make up your mind. Either I’m good enough for you or I’m not.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  He leaned forward and ran his nose along my cheek, up to my ear. Then he kissed me.

  We were spiraling out of control like we had last night.

  “Wait,” I said, pulling away. “Cooper, we can’t.”

  Before I could second-guess myself, I pushed him away. “I’m sorry, Cooper.”

  He leaned against the door, breathing heavily. “You have to work through whatever it is you’re afraid of feeling. Slapping me, kissing me, fucking me, running away from me—whatever it is you do won’t change the fact that there is something here that you’re unwilling to accept. I accept it. I feel it, and I know you do, too, yet you’re pushing me away. Trying to keep me in that safe space where you can control everything. You being my campaign manager—this was never just about the campaign for me. You had your reasons to be sure I won. Well, I had my own, and it wasn’t just for Hope Lake.” He took a deep breath while I held mine. “You weren’t just a part of that. You were a part of everything. I’ll walk out that door today and tell the first voter on the street that we’re together and fuck the rest of it. If I lose the election because of that, then so be it. I accept that.”

  “You can’t do that, and you know I can’t let you, Cooper. I care about you too much to let you throw this all away.”

  “I’m not throwing it away if I’m gaining you. Why can’t you let yourself see that?”

  “Cooper, this is too much. I can’t process all of this right now on top of everything else that’s happening. I’m sorry.”

  With the lightest of brushes, I kissed his cheek, refusing to look at him.

  He slipped from the office without saying a word.

  Minutes passed with my standing against the door, hoping for him to come back in. To tell me to stop being a stubborn ass. But I knew I couldn’t go after him. Not when I was this confused.

  I went to the window to see the news channel and newspaper crews finally dispersing. Next to Cooper’s Rover was the same black BMW that I’d seen parked in his driveway lately, except this time, the driver was just exiting it.

  Even from four floors up, I could see Whitney looking livid. She leaned forward to kiss Cooper on the cheek, giving him a one-armed hug in greeting. Cooper looked nervous to see her, but I could see his anger, too, as he gestured up toward the building—presumably toward me. He must have been explaining what had transpired because she glanced up, searching the windows until she found mine. We made eye contact. She shot me a withering glare.

  For once, I thought as they walked away, Whitney isn’t the bad guy here.

  I am.

  • • •

  I HOLED UP IN MY office and waited, ignoring the multiple calls from my parents and Nancy—even Dr. Bishop and Mrs. Mancini tried to get through. Everyone reached out except the one person I still hoped to hear from, and I wasn’t about to call him. There was a fear choking me from the inside out that wouldn’t let me.

  What the hell was I going to do? There wasn’t a book to read or advice to find online. I couldn’t wrap my head around any of it—that I had slept with Cooper. He had been tender and sweet, and I had been a wild animal.

  And most of all, he was willing to put it all out on the line. He was just waiting for me to let him.

  It wasn’t just what had happened between us that had me torn up inside. It was remembering his face as I had run out the door. It was thinking about what would happen to our dynamic with Henry and Nick. The four of us had had the same routine for so long, and now I would be responsible for the deterioration of it. Was it worth it?

  Yes, I thought. No hesitation.

  Sometime after eight, after a long day of distracting myself with work, I walked across the street to my apartment, climbing the stairs quietly so Nancy wouldn’t hear me and come out. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. Once safely inside, I scoured the internet, reading and hiding vicious comments. It wasn’t possible to keep up with them. Thankfully, they weren’t about Cooper. Or Whitney.

  They’d found a new, easy target.

  Me.

  Mayor’s daughter using friendships to get ahead.

  Emma is the poor man’s Whitney. Have you seen that fox?

  Nepotism is alive and well in Hope Lake. Flunky daughter getting job and bilking taxpayers.

  Since my night with Cooper had become public knowledge, I’d found out firsthand that people loved chasing the shiny new thing: the new piece of gossip, the latest political scandal. The Jacksons were all but forgotten now that they’d moved on to me. Eventually, I told myself, they’ll move on from this, too.

  For now, though, I was their target—and that was fine, I rationalized. If the target was on my back, that meant that maybe Cooper would be safe until election day.

  After I took a much-needed shower, the timer on my stove dinged. Just as I was taking out the pizza I’d put in to reheat (carbs, as always, solved all my problems), my doorbell rang.

  Quietly I padded over the cold floor to look through the peephole. If it wasn’t someone I wanted to see, I thought, I’d just tiptoe away. No one needed to know I was home.

  “You’re as quiet as a rhino in heels. Open the door, Emma,” Whitney’s voice pierced through the door, and she rang my doorbell two more times for good measure.

  I whipped the door open. “What?” I snapped.

  She pushed her way in much like Cooper had when I was goopy-eyed and avocado-masked. She looked so out of place in my apartment.
She was in a black wrap dress and knee-high boots with spiky silver heels. “Don’t you what me. You did this, honey, not me. Now I’m stuck cleaning up two messes, and for what? This stupid goddamn town. You’re both idiots!” She flung her arms into the air in exasperation.

  “You agreed to help him, so do it. I’ll worry about myself. Keep the focus on him.”

  “Christ, you’re such a martyr. I can’t stand it. You haven’t changed at all, and neither has he. When it comes to you, he’s so goddamn blind it makes me insane.” She was practically frothing at the mouth, she was so angry. In that moment, I felt sorry for anyone who went against Whitney in court.

  “What do you mean, when it comes to me he’s blind?” I asked, pulling her toward me by one arm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

  “You’re so naive, Emma. He’s had you on a pedestal since day one. You just never saw it. But even though he worshipped you, I saw you for what you really were: an opportunist. Someone who would step on his throat just to get ahead.”

  “That’s so untrue and unfair. I would never!”

  She howled with laughter. “Oh, no? You’d never put something you wanted ahead of him? Do I need to spell it out for you? You’ve been using him this whole time to get ahead in your own career. The Jackson deal, the campaign itself, even you fucking him was about you putting you first. Hey, I’m not suggesting it’s not genius. I’m just saying don’t act all matronly and prudish when you’re literally fucking him to try to prove that I was wrong.”

  “You’re unbelievable!” I shouted, trying to find a snappy retort. “Why the hell is everything about you all the time? News flash, Whitney. I wasn’t with him to get back at you. Did I want to prove you wrong? Of course. Did you put the thought in my head that I was ignoring my feelings about him? Yes, I’ll give you all the credit for that. But it ends there. Getting back at you didn’t even factor into the decision I made last night.”

  “But it is about me. Remember? This convoluted plan involves me intimately. I’m sure that’s hard for you to hear after your little tryst, but that’s the way it is.”