Documentary

by Sand, A. J.

  “Kai? I’m so glad you—”

  A girl’s nervous laughter pressed into the receiver. “Actually, it’s not Kai. It’s Erica…Evigan. Hi.”

  “Um, hi. Is Kai all right? Did something happen to him?”

  “No! No! He’s fine. He’s actually moping around the city somewhere, and he’s not very good with managing his cell phone. Anyway, are you free to talk?”

  “Yeah, sure. Can I put you on hold really fast? I have someone on the other line. I’ll be right back.”

  “Sure. No problem.”

  Dylan fanned her face from the sudden rush of intense heat. There was a lot going on right now. She switched back to Nina and told her she had a family emergency and had to go but she would call her back soon.

  “He’s really moping around New York?” she asked when she clicked back over to Erica. Well, at least they had that in common.

  “He has eaten everything in my apartment. He watched Real Housewives of… something something all day yesterday,” Erica said, laughing. “I made him leave. I couldn’t take it. It’s bad enough that the paparazzi were stalking the building. I think he went to the studio. He misses you, you know—I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry, Dylan, we haven’t even been officially introduced.”

  “I miss him too. I’m glad he’s okay…but how come you’re calling?” Dylan looked behind her to make sure the glass door was still closed. Erica wasn’t ready to talk to Jamie, and Dylan didn’t want to expose her again the way she had before.

  “It’s actually about me. I called for me. To ask you a question. It might be too much to ask from a girl you don’t even know at all, but I was wondering if you could change your flight to Miami and come a day early? I’ll cover any cost. I’ll have a hotel suite. You can stay if you want. I hope you’ll say yes. I think you might be the only person who can help me with what I need done.”

  The city of Miami was electric. There was a vibe about it that Dylan felt when she exited the airport. It was probably because she knew Kai was somewhere in it. Now came the waiting and hoping, the figuring out how to win back the guy she wanted to be with. After being in line fifteen minutes for a cab, she gave the driver the address to Erica’s hotel, the Loews Miami Beach. She was biting her lip the entire ride. Erica had been vague about what she wanted, and Dylan was racking her brain trying to figure out what she could do to help Erica with whatever she needed.

  Dylan gasped when the cab took a causeway over water as they crossed into South Beach, and she got a panoramic city view of the skyscrapers, buildings and cruise ships. When the cab pulled up in front of the Loews, and the valet opened the door for her, Dylan sent Erica a text, and she quickly replied with her room number. Erica had disappointed her when she insisted that Kai wouldn’t be there, but she couldn’t help being hopeful. It wasn’t lost on Dylan as she knocked on Erica’s door, that the two of them had “met” in a hotel room before.

  Erica opened the door with a bright smile. She was stunning with her hair up in a bun and a tribal print strapless maxi dress. “Hi. I’m so glad you’re here.” She stepped out of the way so Dylan could come in, and directed her toward a couch with a view of the beach as a backdrop.

  “Do you want anything to drink? There’s a cool coffeemaker. You want room service? My job was cool with me being in this suite for the week, and I’m trying to make use of everything while I’m here.” She giggled. She was being friendly but Dylan could tell she was nervous, too, when she sat.

  “Water’s fine.” Dylan gestured slightly at the pitcher on the coffee table. She reached for it and poured herself a glass. “Um, so, I feel obligated to apologize for how I acted the last time we saw each other. I assumed something I shouldn’t have.”

  Erica waved her hand and laughed. “It’s okay. I’m sure it looked odd. Kai was practically naked.” She scrunched her nose. “Sorry. I’ve known him since I was seventeen. There’s nothing appealing about his naked body to me.” She laughed. “It’s Kai. I went to the hotel because I was worried about him getting in more trouble.” Erica took a sip from her glass of water then plucked a piece of fruit out and ate it. “Then, I found out he knocked Chase Bunyan around over you. He’s an idiot for not going after you that day. He moped then too. You’ve gotten to him bad, girl.”

  Dylan blushed when Erica giggled. “He thought I had betrayed him, and I had,” Dylan explained. “And he was concerned about protecting you. He cares about you a lot, which only made me a little crazier, I think.”

  “He cares, yes, and I love him for it, but he blames himself for what happened to me,” Erica said, folding her legs under her as she shook her head. “He carries so much around with him. He blames himself for a lot of things. He thinks his dad left and was a jerk because he wasn’t good enough, as if an alcoholic loves anything except drinking. He blames himself for his mom dying— ”

  “Why does he blame himself for his mom…it was breast cancer.” Dylan set her glass on the coffee table.

  “Poor kid. When he was little and living near Nashville, Kai wanted his dad to love him because he adored him. Despite everything Butch did to them—the beatings, the yelling, and the disappearing—he adored him. Sometimes the people we love do nothing to deserve it. I have fucked up parents, so I get it.” She shrugged. “He thought maybe if he did what Butch did and learned to play the guitar, Butch would stop drinking and stop being an asshole, and actually love him back. When Butch would go to work, Kai would climb up on a chair, pull Butch’s guitar off the shelf and play it. He’s pretty much self-taught. He was hoping someday to show him how good he was getting, and maybe it would give Butch a reason to be nicer, or hit them less at least. One day, his mom startled him when he was putting it back. He fell off the chair, the guitar fell too, and the guitar’s neck broke.”

  Dylan covered her gasp with her hand. “Oh my gosh.”

  “Mmmhmm.” Erica nodded. “Yup and that’s why they went to Lake Lure, North Carolina. He loved it there. It was a total escape from reality. I think Hop knew if Butch was capable of loving anything that wasn’t in the bottom of a bottle, it was that guitar. And I think she knew Butch would kill her son if they stayed—she went back to him, but I think she recognized the immediate danger.

  “Anyway, she packed up immediately, they walked, like, ten miles to the bus station and left before he got home. Kai blames himself because the free clinic near their house had finally been able to schedule a mammogram for her that week, and Kai thinks if she had been able to get it back then, the doctors would’ve caught the cancer early. He thinks if he had been a better kid, not someone who stole his father’s guitar, not someone who was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, not being Butch basically, she would’ve had a longer life. He also thinks his family realized he was Butch’s kid, and suspected that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and figured he was not worth having around after Hop died.”

  Dylan’s tears welled up, but she suppressed her cry. His past explained so much better why he had created the charity. Maybe it was also why he distanced himself so much from it, too. In his mind, he didn’t want to hurt his mother the way he felt he had before. She was distraught that he was holding on to all of this, and it was very similar to what she was dealing with. The guilt. Kai was right; he did know her.

  “I think even today he doesn’t realize he’s doing for me what his mom did for him. Kai, of all people, understands sacrificing for someone you care about better than he thinks. Better than maybe you think.” She gave Dylan a knowing look, indicating she was familiar with how Dylan had been pushing him away.

  “I bet a lot of what happened in Vegas, which he is absolutely devastated about, by the way, was his frustration over understanding sacrifice and having guilt, but also being afraid of losing you the way he has everyone else. He worries about you a lot, you know. From the beginning.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Nina Sanchez, because she doesn’t know about…” Erica paused and looked down at her
hands. Dylan finally saw the engagement ring on her finger. “…She has been getting on Kai for ‘messing up my career,’ as if we had a thing going on, we broke up, and then I completely fell apart. She never bought the ‘just friends’ theory. She thinks he’s the reason I left the company, and she told him that he better not do that with you. I’m sure that’s where her ban on fraternization came from because it didn’t exist before. It’s nearly impossible in the entertainment industry, and you’re a freelancer essentially, anyway. She’s holding her beliefs about Kai and me against you and him. Kai knew she was wrong about me, but it’s all twisted up in his belief that he was to blame for what Jeremy did, and that his own actions that night had led to it, so he was scared he would mess things up for you, too. I think he really intended to keep his distance and keep things professional because he really liked your work. He told me he really tried after the Lava Surf party, but he liked you, and he couldn’t stay away.”

  “Wow…” Dylan said as she reflected on some past moments between them, where Kai had seemed to pull away or conflicted in his dealings with her. “Do you mind my asking what happened in L.A.? He punched a hole in a wall after meeting up with you.”

  “Sure,” Erica said, nodding. “It was just a bad night for me at this party I was invited to. I ran into freaking Adam Scott and Chase Bunyan, and I panicked and thought Jeremy was going to be there, too. I just needed to get out. I knew Kai was in L.A., and he was the only person I thought to call. I was in a bad state. We sat in my car, he held my hand, and I was hyperventilating the entire time. And I decided after that night, no more.” She looked down and shook her head. “If I was going to have to share life space with him in this world, I would hold my head up high. No more fear. No more.” Erica turned her head toward the balcony. “Can we go sit out there? It’s such a beautiful evening. Do you mind?”

  Dylan shook her head, picked up the pitcher as Erica grabbed their glasses and they moved outside.

  “Well, I should probably tell you why you’re here, and believe it or not, it isn’t on Kai’s behalf at all. Well, at least it wasn’t initially,” Erica said with a kind smile as they sat in the chairs, but it shifted to a faint smile below blank eyes. “It’s weird…it’s much easier to talk about the rape with someone I don’t really know than it is with my own friends. Kai told me you sort of figured it out on your own, what happened to me.”

  “I’m so sorry for telling Jamie about your call in L.A.,” Dylan began, her heart racing. “But I didn’t tell anyone about—”

  “It’s fine,” Erica said kindly, squeezing her arm. “And I’m so tired of living in the shadows, you know. I shouldn’t feel ashamed. I’ve pushed my friends away and ignored their calls, I’ve left my fiancé, I uprooted my entire life, and my best friend’s career is in trouble. Everyone’s life changed except the person who actually caused this, the person who should feel ashamed!” Erica smiled bitterly. “Do you know what my lowest point was? I was actually upset that Kai didn’t kill Jeremy in that alley. I thought Jeremy Bunyan being dead and my best friend going to prison for murder was a better alternative. Can you believe that? I wanted Kai to be the one thing he has struggled with his whole life—Butch. Jeremy has been bleeding me of all my happiness, and I’ve been patching my wounds up with rage and anger. Rage and anger I’ve had since that morning I woke up and couldn’t clearly remember several hours of my life.”

  “What did you want to ask me?” Dylan asked after a sip of water.

  “It involves what I’m about to tell you.” Her shoulders dropped as she sighed. “Kai and Jeremy don’t draw a lot of attention overseas. Evernight never got big outside the U.S. And their songs haven’t really broken Top 200 in a lot of other countries. When we first got to Thailand, the local paparazzi were a little interested in Wes and Abel because of surfing, but that’s not a huge sport people follow in general, so the attention died down pretty quickly. I think one American guy snapped a picture of Kai, Wes, Abel and Jeremy surfing on the beach some of the days we were out there, and it ended up on a few U.S. blogs. Some American travelers recognized them and took some pics, but nothing ridiculous. The trip was normal and our last night was really fun. We were all looking forward to all the great things happening in the year.” Erica pressed out a quick smile. “And we had just done so much good work in the Philippines, we’d had an amazing trip in Thailand, and we wanted to celebrate.

  “We were on Soi Bangla. It’s the center of Patong Beach nightlife in Phuket, and it gets crazy crowded, so it’s easy to blend in. Tourist-heavy and paparazzi-free. Everyone’s just having a good time. It’s just bars and discos and a never-ending flood of people. We were in a huge nightclub. I had been drinking moderately. Modeling made me really calorie conscious even after I quit working. Alcohol is empty calories so I drink sparingly. I was ready to head back to our hotel, and it was right in the area. A really short walk. I figured Jamie would end up in Abel’s room anyway, and I wanted to take advantage of having the room to myself the last night because our flight was kind of early…early for us.

  “Someone wanted to do one last toast with the whole group present—in hindsight it was probably Jeremy. We were with a lot of people, and the guys had girls with them, too. Huge group. Jeremy got all the drinks, and he said, ‘don’t worry, I got you juice’ before he handed me mine. It’s not like…I didn’t expect…”

  “Erica,” Dylan said, leaning over and gently touching her wrist. “You don’t have to justify it to me. You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who doesn’t just accept a drink from a friend. Especially one you’ve known a long time. We all do it. We trust the people we consider friends. It’s part of the relationship. The problem is someone you trust taking advantage of you and drugging you.”

  Erica nodded. “Soi Bangla is crazy, not in a scary way, just exciting. I’ve been there countless times. I’ve never felt unsafe there at all. Like any other place, you just try to be smart and careful. Anyway, I think the group was eventually going to split up into smaller groups and hit different bars and clubs after the toast. Jeremy claimed he was going to meet up with a girl, which is really disturbing in hindsight as well, if he was referring to me.

  “We usually ended up separating at some point almost every night, but not before letting people know where we’re going to be. You know, everyone wants to do different things, and it makes no sense for everyone to be stuck with each other the whole time. Kai offered to walk me, even though I knew he really wanted to stay, but I don’t want to live in a world where I feel I need an escort everywhere because I’m a woman and it’s dark out. I want to be safe, but I don’t want a chaperone everywhere.”

  Erica gulped down before continuing. “You know how you remember things that make sense after the fact? Well, Jeremy kept goading Kai into staying, and encouraged the others to stay, too, like he really needed to be sure no one who knew us would be anywhere near me. And I went along with begging Kai to stay because I wanted him to have a good night.” Erica’s infuriation flashed on her face as she shook her head. “We did the toast, we drank, everyone hugged me and I left. Maybe ten minutes later, I felt weird…like unusually happy. I was saying hello to people, and walking really slowly, giggling, and then skipping on my way to the hotel. Like just really, really happy. I felt like I was watching myself do all of this, too, in a very out-of-body way. I thought maybe I had gotten drunker than I had anticipated.

  “Then I started to feel dizzy, still euphoric but dizzy. It happened so fast. I vaguely remember someone calling my name and coming up to me, Jeremy maybe, if I had to guess based on everything I know, but I can’t say for sure, and that’s the last thing I remember with clarity. It’s all bits and pieces that don’t really make sense. A few days ago, I smelled something that reminded me of that night and a few more memories came back, but not enough.”

  Erica’s hands tightened into fists. “I woke up on the beach with a headache. A really bad headache. My clothes were wet. It was almost dawn. I remembered even
less than I just told you, and I had a complete breakdown right there by myself. I didn’t even know where in Patong Beach I was. I went to a nearby hotel and asked them to call the police. The people at the hotel helped me look up on the U.S. Embassy’s website what to do if you’re the victim of a crime in another country. After the police got there, and I talked to them and showed them where I had woken up, I went to the hospital. Too much time had passed for whatever I was drugged with, presumably, to be in my system. I had another breakdown there when they performed the physical exam. I had the memory loss, I was in pain, and I could feel that something had happened, but having to do the exam really made things sink in. When they were ‘collecting’ from me. When I was a…crime scene.” Dylan realized Erica hadn’t shed a tear as she relayed the story. She was tensing, rage flickered in her eyes, but she was controlled.

  “Do you know he called me later that day? I mean everyone was calling me when they couldn’t find me, but he called me, acting all concerned. I didn’t know he was responsible then, but it’s just one of those things I think about.” Erica’s eyes narrowed as she reflected. “I told Kai on the phone I wanted to stay awhile and that it was a last minute thing. I even told my fiancé the same thing when he called. I don’t know why I didn’t tell him right then. I just shut down. I only told my sister, Naomi, the truth and she came, and we stayed through the initial investigation.”

  “So, how did you figure out it was Jeremy?” Dylan asked, trying to keep her emotions to herself. She felt like bawling.

  Erica disappeared into the room and returned with her cell phone, displaying a picture to Dylan. “See the bracelet I’m wearing? It might be hard to on that picture, but I never take it off. I noticed it was gone after the attack, but not my engagement ring or my wallet or phone. So the police figured it wasn’t missing due to a robbery. Weeks later, they told me they had found it at the scene as part of their evidence collection. I guess they wanted me to identify things that might be mine and associated with the crime. The bracelet was broken—like it had been ripped off. They had also collected a huge diamond stud. Guess who has both ears pierced and loves flashy, ‘I’m rich’ earrings?”