The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus 3

by Michael Anderle

  Trey grimaced as he tried to think through all the permutations of the scenario in his head then decided the Mafia probably wasn’t playing that sophisticated of a game.

  The mobster cleared his throat. “So, you coming? I need to tell my people if you are. If you’re not sure, just say yes. That will make things work out better for everyone.”

  Trey snorted. “What happens if I don’t show up? Or if I bring someone?”

  “Then you’ll be disappointed and throw away something useful for no good reason.” The mobster shrugged. “This isn’t about trying to kill you, Garfield. Everyone’s already learned that lesson. This is about something else entirely.”

  “Fine. I’m coming,” Trey offered with a shrug. “But I reserve the right to get the fuck out of there if I smell a trap, and I guarantee I’ll be taking at least three or four guys with me if it is a trap.”

  The mobster nodded. “Of course.” With a final nod, he turned and walked away, the other two men following.

  Trey watched them until they got in their black SUV and pulled away, then closed the door. Zoe stepped into the living room in a green silk robe, her thighs flashing with each movement. Normally he’d be turned on, but he was too confused about what had just happened to care about that.

  “Did you overhear that shit?” Trey asked.

  Zoe nodded. “I did.”

  “What do you think? Because I don’t know what to think. I don’t get why the mob’s doing all this need-to-know spy shit all of a sudden.” Trey shook his head. “I get that they might want to hold back a few details, but that was on a whole other level.”

  “I think it wouldn’t hurt for you to attend their meeting.” Zoe smiled and sat on the couch. She crossed her legs. “There was nothing in their arrival or pitch that suggested hostility. There was not even an implied physical threat from what I can tell, and I’m very good at reading people.”

  “Those two guys went for guns.”

  “Yes, after they realized you already had yours out. You created the hostility in that situation.”

  Trey shrugged. “People know who I am, and people know I’m living with a witch. They might have just figured it was a dumbass move to try to attack or threaten me where I live because of magic and shit. That might be why there was no hostility.”

  “Maybe, but I don’t even think there was concealed hostility, at least not from the speaker. His manner was easy. Grateful even.” Zoe tapped her lips. “I don’t know what they want to discuss, but I doubt it involves any threat to you. It probably is some sort of real opportunity. Whether it’s legal, who knows?”

  Trey set his gun on the coffee table and sat on the couch next to the witch. “Mobsters just don’t show up at a brother’s crib without some sort of reason to throw opportunities at them. Maybe this is more of them trying to do that alliance shit. I’m not trying to pick a fight with the mob, but they’ve got to understand the Brownstone Agency won’t be their bitches either because they ask all nice-like.”

  “Then go to the meeting and make that clear.” Zoe uncrossed her legs and crossed them the opposite way. “Perhaps this is just them paying their respects to you in their own way. Even if the Brownstone Agency will not formally ally with them, they might wish to at least convince you that they are a resource or something like that.”

  “Bounties are bounties.” Trey shrugged. “There ain’t gonna be a situation where the mob suddenly gets a free pass.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with explaining that to them, either.” Zoe smiled softly. “The truth is, you’ll never know what they want if you don’t go to their meeting. I’ll give you a few more potions to ensure your safety. If they try anything, you can escape and then gather reinforcements to punish them.”

  Trey looked back down at the card. “This shit’s gonna interfere with our date tonight.”

  Zoe chuckled. “I’ve suffered far worse disappointments in my life, my little supernova.”

  “Fine. I’ll check and see what these Mafia bitches want.” Trey frowned at the card. “But this shit better be worth it.”

  19

  Find and engage new stronger enemies, Whispy demanded.

  James laughed.

  You know, Whispy, you’re like a fucking drug addict. I find someone powerful and we fight, and you do your adaptation thing. You’re happy for like five minutes, then it’s back to demanding I find more people.

  Achieving maximum adaptation requires maximum sampling.

  James nodded. It’s fine this time. That’s why I came along. You’re right. Every new adaptation makes me more of a badass, and we’re gonna probably need that to complete the primary directive of destroying all Vax symbionts. If they never come here, there are plenty of Council wannabes and shit like them to take down.

  Primary directives in conflict.

  Then just do what I fucking say. James grinned. Your new primary directive is, obey James Brownstone.

  Link error acknowledged.

  James snorted. That was the symbiont’s way of complaining about not being in control of the partnership.

  His smile faded. Are they coming? The Vax?

  Pulse not initiated.

  Could they come anyway? What happens if a Forerunner gets his ass handed to him? Or he’s killed? That’s got to happen sometime.

  Purifier will be dispatched or system will be marked forbidden.

  James stopped with a frown. Why didn’t you ever tell me that shit before?

  Primary directives in conflict. Memories stored.

  He let out a long, low growl and started walking again. So they could come. I’d half-convinced myself that they wouldn’t. When will they send a Purifier? How long do they wait?

  Unknown, Whispy responded.

  James walked a few feet and kicked at a blackened stump. “I better let Johnston know about this shit. Too bad it’s gonna ruin his fucking day when I do.”

  Now that the government knew that James was an alien, he saw less reason not to share information with them when it was relevant to the safety of the country. Shay was right. While he didn’t trust most of the government, in the end, if the Vax came, the military would have to play a role in defending the country and the planet. The more the government knew about the possible threat, the better they could prepare.

  Even if he achieved the adaptations he needed, it’d be idiotic to place the fate of all of Earth and possibly Oriceran in his hands alone. For all he knew, some sniper might blow out his brains at a barbeque competition when he wasn’t bonded to Whispy.

  James had even briefly thought about whether he should have agreed to go to the Nine Systems Alliance a few times in the last few months before deciding that would have been an equally stupid plan, especially since the Alliance didn’t seem to have a reliable method of beating the Vax except at the earliest stages of an invasion.

  It might not be a good idea to depend solely on him to defend the planet, but James might potentially be the Earth’s last line of defense if the Vax did come looking. He had no reason to believe they wouldn’t come to Earth or Oriceran looking for him if he never sent off his Forerunner pulse. If anything, it seemed like the opposite would occur.

  How does a system get marked forbidden? James asked

  Unknown, Whispy responded.

  You’re not just fucking with me, are you?

  Unknown, Whispy insisted.

  Oriceran’s not safe, James thought to himself. My parents sent me there first, so I have to worry about both damned planets.

  Whispy didn’t say anything for the next several minutes. His mental presence seemed cold and distant, almost like when he was in his quiescent mode, but James continued walking, still in advanced mode, through the dense trees. He’d marked several of them to help him navigate and avoid getting lost.

  So far, he’d found no evidence that he’d been walking in circles or had teleported, but he also had no idea what direction he should have been walking in.

  Worst-case scenario is that
I just keep walking one direction. I’ll eventually hit the wall, and I can find a gate from there to work my way back to the first one.

  James wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he came upon a small clear blue pond nestled beneath a huge tree. Unlike most of the trees he’d seen in the deep forest, this one lacked any deformities. Other than having unusually bright red leaves, it seemed like a normal, albeit large, tree.

  The presence of the healthy tree and water was unusual in itself compared to what he had seen during his time in the forest. In addition, most of the nearby grass was as bright a red as the leaves on the tree.

  This looks like something special, but what is it? And is it going to be annoying?

  Find and engage new enemies, Whispy ordered.

  At least something was back to normal. James didn’t know how many secrets the damned symbiont was still holding, but at this point, it didn’t matter much. They agreed that he needed to get stronger, so the partnership would continue.

  James smacked his lips. The sight of the water was making him thirsty, but he wouldn’t risk drinking from the pond. If it wasn’t poisoned or tainted, it was probably enchanted. He grabbed the canteen off his belt and took a sip.

  The water stirred, and the top of a head with long, dark hair broke through the surface.

  His pulse quickened.

  “Shay?” James called. He didn’t know why she had been hiding in the water, but he was happy to have stumbled onto her. “What’s going on?”

  He frowned a few seconds later. A beautiful naked woman slowly rose from the water, her drenched hair pasted to her body. She continued rising until she stood atop the water, with no visible means of support.

  Most men would be excited by the sight of such a gorgeous being in the middle of nowhere, but the only thing she was stirring in James was annoyance. Whoever this woman was, she wasn’t Shay, and she’d gotten his hopes up, even if it wasn’t her fault or intention. It pissed him off, and he’d already had an annoying enough time in the forest. He wasn’t feeling generous.

  The woman crooked her finger and offered James a winsome smile. She ran her other hand down her side.

  Engage enemy, Whispy suggested. Adaptation potential moderate.

  Not gonna kick her ass until I’m sure she’s an enemy. She’s not charging me with a sword, so I’m gonna at least give her the benefit of the doubt. But there is something she’s doing that’s pissing me off.

  James cut through the air with his blade. “Knock that shit off right now. Do I look like I’m in the mood?”

  The woman blinked and lowered her hand, surprise on her face.

  “I don’t know if you’re a succubus or a leanan sidhe or some weird-ass seduction bug or something, but whatever plan you have, I’m not falling for that shit.” James slammed his blade into the ground. “I’ve got Shay, for one thing, and I’ve already been told how fucked up this forest is, so I’m not trusting anything or anyone I see. That clear? As long as you understand that, we don’t have to have any trouble. I’m not here to start shit with every random-ass magical creature who lives in this forest. I’m just here to find something. Maybe you could help me find it?”

  The woman let out a long sigh and started speaking. He didn’t understand the language. It sounded very melodic, and more like Light Elf than any human language.

  Whispy, can you translate that shit?

  No. Ability outside modifiable range for base matrix.

  James frowned in disappointment, but the limitation made sense. The amulet could perform all sorts of physical modifications, but understanding a language wasn’t just about changing a few physical traits as far as he could figure out.

  He shrugged, which looked all the stranger given his armor and blade, and pointed to his mouth and then his ears. “I can’t understand you. I don’t understand the words coming out of your mouth.”

  The woman said something else and pointed at her mouth.

  “Yeah.” James nodded. “I can’t understand you. Don’t speak your language.” He said the last two sentences louder and slower.

  He chuckled at a stray thought. Whispy’s trick to get him into advanced mode without him being filled with rage was making it easy for him to maintain and even have conversations in here. Right now, he was more mildly annoyed than anything else. That would make every encounter in the forest that much safer while he still maintained full control.

  Will your alternative power trick work outside this forest? James thought.

  Unknown at this time, the amulet responded.

  We’ll have to test that shit out later.

  The woman sighed and ran a hand over her mouth. “Do you understand my words now, great warrior?” She had a vaguely French accent, but whatever she had been speaking before was definitely not French.

  James didn’t linger on that thought. Linguistic mysteries weren’t important when Shay was still missing.

  “Okay, I can understand you now,” James replied. “Is this where you give me the big seduction speech in English? Because it won’t make any difference. I’ve been hit on by all sorts of magical women, so don’t think I can’t resist. You’re just the latest in a long line of people who want a piece of me. Don’t waste either of our time.”

  “How unfortunate.” The woman pursed her lips. “But, yes, it’s obvious to me that such efforts would be wasted on a man like you. That said, we could still come to another sort of arrangement, so I’d like to offer you something else.”

  “And what’s that?” James looked around the area for potential reinforcements or ambushes.

  “A deal.” The woman lowered most of her body into the water until only her head remained. “I am a lele.”

  James frowned. “Shay mentioned those. A type of nymph creature in Romanian folklore. You’re supposed to be all seductive and shit.”

  He wasn’t honestly sure if he didn’t find her seductive that day because she was simply bad at her job, because he was bonded to Whispy, or because he was in love with Shay. When he’d spent time around Anna Forsythe, her seductive aura had had some effect on him, so it suggested he wasn’t totally invulnerable to such powers.

  “That summary is accurate enough.” The lele crossed her arms over her chest under water and stuck out her bottom lip. “And most men find our seduction attempts quite welcome. You’re an unusual man.”

  “Isn’t the first time someone has said that to me, but who gives a shit about that? You’re not attacking me, and you’re offering me a deal. I’m listening. What’s your offer?”

  The lele tilted her head and smiled. “As you appear to be a great warrior. I’m wondering if you could handle a problem for me. It is one that will require the strength and endurance of a true champion.”

  James pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. “If it’s about all those Zmeu, I wasted a bunch of them. Maybe all of them.”

  The lele laughed. “How wonderful. You’re exactly what I thought. What you’ve done is helpful, but that’s not what I was going to ask you to do. There’s another creature that needs to be slain.”

  “I’m a bounty hunter, not an assassin.” James glared at her. “I’m not going after someone unless I get paid and I have a good reason to believe they’re a piece of shit, or they mess with me. The reptile assholes attacked me, so I fought back. That’s why they’re all dead.”

  The lele’s hand reappeared above the surface holding a large diamond. “Will this suffice for payment? It’s my understanding that humans value such things far more than simple coin, but it changes at times.”

  James eyed the diamond. “I’m listening, but I also want you to help me find Shay. She’s the dark-haired human I came into the forest with. From what I was told, you lele can see all sorts of shit through trees and water and crap.”

  “That’s true.” The lele nodded. “And I’m willing to do that, provided you help me with my problem, warrior.”

  “James,” he rumbled. “James Brownstone. What’s your problem, the
n?”

  He thought about asking the lele for help with the cobza, but Shay’s artifact would let them find it anyway. The less he was entangled with strange Romanian forest creatures, the better.

  “I’m trapped in this place,” the lele murmured. “I have been for decades now. That doesn’t bother me much, and most of the others I’ve encountered here are reasonable, even if they don’t have the exposure to humans they desire. There is one particular creature that is unnecessarily vicious and cruel. I blame him for our imprisonment here since he killed the most humans of any of the creatures, and he now preys on the rest of the creatures at times.”

  James scoffed. “So what is the thing? A Zmeu?”

  The lele frowned and shook her head. “No, a balaur.”

  James locked gazes with her. “Now, I just want to be clear. From what Shay told me, a balaur is basically a dragon with more than one head?”

  “Yes.” The lele nodded again. “This balaur has three heads.”

  James chuckled.

  How’s that for new strong enemies, Whispy?

  Whispy’s anticipation was almost palpable. Even James was a little excited. He’d fought a lot of monsters in his time, but he’d never taken on something like a dragon. There was nothing wrong with a man wanting to test himself.

  “Okay,” James replied, “and if I help kill this thing, you’ll pay me with the diamond and help me find Shay? There’s no other hidden tricks or riddles or shit like that?”

  The lele nodded. “No. You simply need to kill the balaur. If you’ve successfully fought so many Zmeu, I suspect you have the power to succeed.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “Then the balaur will take your life.” The lele shrugged. “And the situation will remain unchanged for me.”

  James pointed his blade at her. “You’re the one who can sense my warrior spirit or whatever shit, so you should know you’d better not fuck with me over this. If I do this job, I expect payment.”