Lessons of the Heart

by Jodie Larson

  He winks at me and smiles. “We’ll figure something out.”

  “Sounds good to me, Mr. Dumont.”

  I laugh as I slide into his front seat, listening to him mumble something about frustrating women as he picks up his briefcase and climbs into the truck. It only makes me laugh harder. He’s just so easy to goad that I can’t help myself. I pull out my phone and call Liam, asking him to pick up a new battery and install it for me so I can get my car later. Hearing Penny laugh in the background is making me think that it’ll never happen but he swears he’ll get it done.

  I rest my head against his shoulder as he brings me to my house. Part of me is anxious to have him come to my house, but the other part of me is jumping up and down to see him in my space for once. Maybe it’ll actually feel like we’re a real couple with nothing to hide.

  As long as my parents don’t come home, what could possibly go wrong?

  AS WE DRIVE TOWARD MY house, my phone beeps in my purse. Pulling it out I check the name that’s flashing across the screen. My brows draw together when I realize it’s Chase. What could he possibly want right now?

  ENJOYING YOUR RIDE WITH MR. DUMONT?

  The blood freezes in my veins. We just left the parking lot and I swear it was empty. I don’t remember seeing any cars anywhere or noticed anyone who walked by. My breathing spikes as I frantically try to remember if I missed something. No, I couldn’t have. There’s no way he could have seen us. Unless he was spying on me.

  WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

  I need to play dumb to see what he knows because I can’t let on that what he’s saying is actually correct.

  CAR TROUBLES? I SAW YOU GET INTO MR. DUMONT’S TRUCK AFTER HE WAS LOOKING UNDER YOUR HOOD. WHAT ELSE OF YOURS HAS HE LOOKED UNDER?

  “Oh shit,” I whisper and bring my hand to cup my mouth in horror.

  “What?” James asks, registering my fear. I turn to face him, my face pale and ghostly white as all the blood has drained from my body. I feel cold, almost numb at the realization that this is it. We’re done for.

  “Chase. He knows. He saw me get into your truck just now and I think he knew it was you earlier today in the hallway. Oh shit, he knows.”

  Tears threaten to fall down my cheeks as I start to panic. What are we going to do? How can we keep this a secret for much longer if Chase knows?

  “Britta, look at me,” James says. We pull into a gas station parking lot. He throws the truck into park and turns to face me. My hands tremble and shake uncontrollably. He reaches out to hold them, trying to calm my nerves, but it’s no use. “We don’t know that for sure. What did he say?”

  I repeat the texts word for word and watch as his face pales like mine. My throat feels dry as I barely make out the last few words.

  “What are we going to do?” My lip trembles and James moves his hand to gently press against my cheek, warming it slightly to regain some color.

  “We’re going to figure out something. We’re in this together. Besides, all he has right now is me giving you a ride home. That’s innocent enough, especially since your car is broken down at school.”

  “But what if he saw our kiss?”

  An image of the kiss flashes in my mind, remembering how his body felt pressed against me as he explored my mouth with his tongue, how his hands held firmly onto my sides as he anchored our bodies against my car. It was a stolen moment after calling me a teenager, but it didn’t lack the passion that we always have. He knows as well as I do that everything we do is passionate. We don’t know any other way.

  “Then we’re going to have some explaining to do.” He pauses to think quickly then frowns. “Ask him what he wants.”

  “I’d rather not. I’d rather tell him to go fuck himself and mind his own business.”

  “That won’t do us any good and you know it,” he says, shaking his head.

  Dread fills me as I type out my response because I know exactly what he’s going to say. I need a game plan, an exit strategy where I can protect James from Chase’s wrath.

  “Whatever it is, I won’t let anything happen to you,” I tell him. My phone beeps and the reply is exactly what I thought it would be.

  I WANT WHAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE MINE. MEET ME AT MY LOCKER TOMORROW BEFORE SCHOOL AND WE’LL WORK OUT OUR NEW ARRANGEMENT.

  My eyes close and I fight to keep the tears from falling down my face. I quickly delete the message because I don’t want James to see. He mustn’t know what I’m about to do, what I’m about to sacrifice to keep him safe.

  “What did he say?”

  I swallow hard and clear my throat. “He wants to meet me before school to talk.”

  “No,” he says harshly.

  “James,” I sigh, knowing he’s not going to let me go without a fight.

  “No, you’re not meeting with him. I’ll meet with him and then it’ll be done.”

  “You can’t do that. He’ll destroy your career. All your hard work, all your graduate studies will be for nothing if you get fired because of me.”

  He grabs my face and kisses me hard. I can taste his fear and anger in this kiss. It’s not the soft and gentle kiss that I usually get from him. This one is fueled by rage and possibly sadness because his lips slow against mine, changing it again into something more fragile, something that can be broken with the slightest touch. I know that feeling well. It’s the same feeling that’s in my heart at this very moment. Knowing that everything we’ve worked towards, everything we’ve built together in trying to secure our future will be crumbling to the ground, leaving nothing but dust and shattered dreams in its wake.

  “You let me worry about my career. I don’t trust him. He’s unpredictable and will strike however he wants to get the most damage.”

  I kiss him again, this time with tenderness and understanding. I need him to understand that I’m going to protect him. I won’t let this roach infect our lives. I’ll squash him like the bug he is. But I need James to know that what I’m doing is for love.

  “I will handle this. You stay out of it.” I quickly look down before meeting his eyes again. “You’re right, though. Chase can do a lot of damage to us if we’re not careful. Just please, trust me. I’ve got this. I can handle Chase. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.”

  His bright green eyes are sad as they seemingly accept what I’m saying. “You don’t have to be my protector. I’m pretty sure that’s my job for you.”

  I shake my head and force a smile. “We’re supposed to protect each other. That’s what love does. It means you fight for the one who you love above all else. And that’s you. I love you above all else and I won’t see our future taken away from us.”

  Those sexy lips of his curl up in the corners as he smiles. “Our future. Yes, our future will survive whatever is thrown at us.”

  “I’ll make sure of it. I just need you to trust me.”

  “I trust you,” he says, kissing me once more.

  I pull away and straighten back into my seat. “Good. Now take me to your house.”

  He gives me a puzzled look. “I thought you wanted me to bring you home.”

  “Change of plans. I have the need to keep you all to myself right now.”

  His thumb runs over my jaw, sending a round of goose bumps to appear on my body. My nipples tighten in anticipation and my breathing spikes, making the small confines of his truck seem stifling.

  “I think we can handle that. We’ll be home in five minutes,” he says, pulling back into traffic and heading towards his house.

  Home. Oh, how I wish it really was my home because that would mean we could be together, permanently. That no one could tear us apart with accusations or destroy our future with exposing us to the outside world. Home is meant to be a safe haven, a place of peace and understanding. A castle to guard you against enemy attacks. But now our home is broken, or at least it will be once tomorrow morning shows. Because what I have to do, what needs to be done to keep James safe is something that will put a crack in
our defense. I know he won’t understand it. But he can’t know. Not yet. Not until I figure this whole thing out.

  Soon enough we pull into his garage and walk into the kitchen area. Taking my coat from me, he places it in the closet and ushers me onto a barstool.

  “Are you hungry?” He glances at the clock and frowns. “I didn’t realize it was this late already.” He starts pulling out pans and some cheese out of the refrigerator. “Grilled cheese sound okay?”

  “Sounds great,” I reply, trying my best to appear normal.

  He continues grabbing all his ingredients as I stare off into space, formulating my plan of attack against Chase. I know that I have precious little time with James. Chase will make sure that he takes me away from him.

  I’m shaken from my thoughts as James comes into my view mere inches from my face. “Are you still with me?”

  “Huh?” I blink at him, hoping that my face hasn’t given away too much of my thoughts.

  “I was wondering if you wanted some sun-dried tomatoes inside your sandwich.”

  I force a smile and nod. “Yeah, that sounds good actually.”

  He turns the burner off, abandoning the sandwich on the stove. Rounding the counter, he pulls me off the stool and into his arms. “Please don’t worry about this. We’ll take care of it. Chase won’t hurt us. Besides, we’re stronger than him, right?”

  I nod. “Right.”

  He bends down to brush his lips across mine, but I won’t have any of that. I need him to dull the ache that’s forming in my chest as I think of our fate. I desperately need to feel the connection between us, to assure myself that my sacrifice will be worth it, even if I die a little each day in the process.

  “I need you. Now,” I breathe, running my tongue along the seam of his lips until he opens for me. Fire spreads through my veins, mixing with the ever present desire that lies just under the surface whenever James is around.

  Picking me up off the ground, I wrap my legs around his waist and cling to him as he carries me to his bedroom and places me in the middle of the bed. He crawls up my body, slowly, like a panther waiting to strike. His eyes have a fierce look to them as if he’s devouring me whole. I squirm under his gaze and marvel at my body’s reaction to him, even though it’s the same reaction that I’ve had for the past few months.

  My shirt is the first to come off, pulling it over my head and tossing it carelessly to the floor. Next I work on his shirt, needing to feel his smooth chest beneath my fingertips.

  I start to thread the buttons through the holes when his hands grab mine to halt my progress. “Hey, slow down there. What’s the matter?”

  I make a small grunt of displeasure as I look into his eyes. “Nothing’s the matter. You just have too many clothes on.”

  He presses into my body further, sending another round of jolts through me. “Slowly, sweetheart. I want to do this slowly.”

  “We can do slow later. Right now, I want fast and hard. Please don’t make me wait.” I’m not even ashamed for basically asking him to fuck me now.

  James rolls his hips again, hitting me in the right spot. A small gasp escapes my lips. “You want fast and hard?” he asks. I nod, now panting with the need for him to be inside me. “Then that’s what it’ll be.”

  I rip his shirt open, letting the buttons fly past my face and scatter across the floor. James reaches down to unbuckle his belt and pants, letting them slide down his legs until he kicks them off. I work my own pants down at the same time. He grabs hold of my hips, dragging me slightly down the bed until I’m directly in the middle of it. With a snap, my panties are torn from my body.

  I reach down and slide his boxer briefs off. His cock springs out and glistens with the evidence of his excitement. He wants me as much as I want him. I don’t think I can wait much longer.

  Needing to feel our connection, I grab his erection and guide it to my soaked entrance. He slowly presses into me but stops abruptly.

  “What?” I pant, lifting my hips to complete our connection.

  “Condom,” he says and leans over to his nightstand. Since we started sleeping together, he always keeps the drawer well stocked. And it’s come in handy because we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other.

  After the condom is rolled on, he takes my wrists in his hands and pins them next to my head.

  “Fast and hard?”

  I nod. He pushes into me again, only this time he doesn’t stop until he’s fully sheathed inside me. I cry out from the fullness, trying to let my body adjust to his size.

  James briefly looks into my eyes to make sure that I’m okay. Once I give him the nod, he begins a punishing rhythm, making me climb higher and higher into the clouds with each stroke. He moves faster inside me and I lose myself in him. The heavy scent of lust is evident in the air, along with our sweat and passion for each other.

  He pulls out suddenly and flips me over, pressing my stomach into the mattress. Lifting my hips until they’re the perfect height, he plunges into me again, deeper this time due to my position.

  “Ah!” It feels as if he’s bottoming out every time he dives further inside me. The twinge of pain is nothing compared to the amount of pleasure I feel at this very moment.

  “I need you with me,” he says and reaches around to rub my clit. He doesn’t need to use the extra stimulation, but I’m not going to say no. He growls in my ear as his chest presses against my back. “Baby, you feel so good. I love being inside you, feeling your muscles squeeze me every time I push into you.”

  And that’s all it takes to have my body release the tension that was building, letting it morph into a powerful orgasm which rips me apart. I scream into the mattress, clawing desperately at the sheets as his fingers and cock continues their assault. Time is irrelevant as I feel like I’ve been coming for hours with each shake of my muscles and contraction against his cock.

  “Britta,” he shouts, letting his hips jerk several times before spilling into me. He holds me still as his cock pulses inside me, prolonging my own orgasm even more. We fall onto the bed in a sweaty mess of tangled body parts. He pulls me into him, turning me in his arms until we’re face to face with each other.

  I kiss his nose and smile, still trying to regain my breath that was stolen from me just moments ago. “Holy shit. That was mind-blowing.”

  He smirks and brushes some hair from my forehead. “Fast and hard enough for you?”

  “Mmhmm,” I murmur and relax into his arms.

  I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know James is nuzzling my neck while pressing feather soft kisses against my skin. The sheet is pulled over me and the room is dark with only a faint amount of light coming in through the window.

  “Hey, sleepyhead,” he says, chuckling into my neck with another kiss.

  “What time is it?” I croak. I need to stretch my arms, but I won’t because it would mean James has to move from his position and I really, really like what he’s doing right now.

  “It’s almost eight. Well past supper and almost bedtime.”

  I laugh as he props himself up on his elbow. He looks so handsome and carefree. His perfect lips, dreamy eyes, and chiseled face make my heart skip a beat as I burn his image into memory.

  “Will you read me a bedtime story then?” I ask. He shakes his head and moves over me. I widen my legs to make room for his body as he settles in between them.

  “I’ve got one for you. Once upon a time, there was a girl who was special in every way. Only she didn’t know it at the time. She was also kind of clumsy with a habit of running into people.” He smirks and runs his hand down my side. “She was beautiful, enchanting, and the most amazing person anyone has ever seen. One day, a man comes into town and she turns his world upside down with just a single glance. If she had told him that the sky was down and the ground was up, he would have believed her. She enchanted him with her eyes that spoke words to him through some sort of magic. The first time he kissed her, he felt the magic seep into his s
oul, tearing a piece of it from him and giving it to her. Slowly they formed a bond, one which couldn’t be broken because they shared a love so intense it was unlike anything that’s been seen before.

  “But alas, their love was to be tested time and time again. The outside world didn’t believe in their love, told them it wasn’t right, that it was forbidden and dangerous. But she didn’t give up. She fought with the bravery of thousands and the man felt it with each kiss she gave him, each one a precious gift. And he fought right alongside her, showing their unified front because when they were together, nothing could stop them.”

  A tear drops down my cheek as I listen to his story. “So what happens to them? Do they succumb to the threats of others?”

  He shakes his head and bends low to kiss me. At the same time, I feel him push inside me slowly, gently. My eyes widen as I realize we're acting carelessly at this moment, but his index finger presses into my lips, silencing my fears.

  “They stay together and fight because what they have is perfect. Others may be jealous of what they have, but it won’t break them apart.” He moves further into me and my eyes roll back into my head because this feels different than any other time. I can feel him, all of him, without any barriers stopping us. And it’s divine.

  “Never,” I whisper, raising my hips to meet his thrusts.

  He pushes fully into me and stops, looking down at me with the utmost love and adoration in his eyes. “They conquered all and lived a long and happy life together, filled with laughter, love, and a family.”

  “James,” I whisper and pull his mouth down to mine.

  “I need to feel you without anything between us because we’re in this together. Nothing will ever separate us.”

  He moves faster now, feeding my craving for his body until it’s ready to explode in a fiery ball of heat. Our eyes meet and I can tell he’s close because his movements become more frantic and less controlled. And I want that. I want him to lose control over me because that’s how I feel whenever I’m with him. All the power that I possess disappears until my reckless thoughts are of him and him alone.