Redeeming Her Montana Love

by Vella Munn

  Nate had shown up on his mentor’s doorstep after spending his first night of so-called freedom on the streets.

  “I don’t know what I would have done without him. The things he put up with…”

  “Like how hard it was for you to trust.”

  “Getting past that took a long time.”

  “You’re still dealing with trust issues.”

  Studying her, he nodded. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I understand, now.”

  Instead of acknowledging the gift she’d given him, he again stood and walked to the end of the dock. He struck a solitary figure with the lake behind and around him—all except for Bruce who was with Nate. She was struck by how alike they were. Once they’d been unwanted, but they now had roofs over their heads and warm places to sleep. No need to fear the night.

  The same woman caring about them. Waiting for them to understand.

  “I should have a dog.” Nate trailed his fingers over Bruce’s back. “I always thought, moving around the way I did, that it wouldn’t work.”

  She’d been gripping the chair arms so tight her fingers ached. Repeatedly flexing helped but did nothing for the tension in the rest of her body. Bruce understood her but, maybe because of what his childhood had been like, Nate didn’t. Couldn’t.

  “Why don’t you put down roots? Before you told me, I thought maybe you were hiding from law enforcement.”

  If anything he looked more tired than when he’d arrived, but she wouldn’t try to touch him until he’d gotten through this—this revelation.

  “Maybe I was but not from the legal system. Before I picked up a bat, that little house was our prison. Then I was locked up in a space smaller than most bedrooms. I’d dream of being able to go where I wanted, when I wanted. Sometimes those dreams kept me sane.” He scratched behind Bruce’s ears. “Finally I was free and had a way to pay the bills. I could live anywhere. Where no one knew about my past. That’s why I haven’t looked for anyplace permanent. I just wanted to explore. Experience.”

  No wonder he had no intention of staying here. It was more than his reluctance to tell anyone about his past. For him, a permanent residence would feel like being locked up again which was something she’d never want for him. Maybe he hadn’t put those pieces together but she had. Sick at heart for everything he’d been forced to endure and overcome, she joined him. Careful not to touch him so she wouldn’t lose it, she pointed at a sail boat.

  “It doesn’t have a dirt bike’s power but you might enjoy it.”

  “Would you?”

  “I’d like to give it a try.”

  He slid away a few inches and rammed his hands in his back pockets. “You don’t have to pretend you aren’t horrified by what I told you. Believe me I know what it feels like.”

  “Horrified?”

  “I went too far.”

  Who was she to judge when she hadn’t lived his life? “Years of experiencing and witnessing abuse exploded inside you. You were a boy, Nate. I’ll always have regrets about my lack of response during what turned out to be my dad’s last moments.”

  “That was different from what I did.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “But I’m still dealing with the consequences so I’m in your shoes.”

  “Are you?”

  She searched for something, anything, to say but found nothing. She wished they were on the long, slender craft with its large white sail. They’d spend the day at the wind’s whim. Talking some. Just being the rest of the time.

  Living in the present.

  Bruce whined, drawing her attention to him. Bruce was looking at Nate. “He accepts you,” she said. “Loves you.”

  A ghost-smile lightened Nate’s somber expression. “Yes, he does.”

  How hopeful he looked. Maybe starting to break free of the past.

  She drew clean, clear air deep into her lungs. “He isn’t the only one.”

  Nate didn’t move until a wave struck the side of the dock, rocking it a little. He withdrew his hand from his pocket and started to extend it toward her only to let it drop.

  Her heart seized, cracked. She’d laid herself out but he was acting as if her admission was the last thing he wanted to hear. Fighting the urge to flee the pain, she forced herself to simply study him. He had feelings for her, she knew he did, but that wouldn’t change his fundamental nature. His need to be on the move so his past couldn’t catch up.

  She shouldn’t have told him what she had about her feelings for him, but how could she not be honest when he was a good man. Worthy of her love.

  Even if it wasn’t returned.

  “I don’t—” He started, then he looked up and pointed. “Osprey.”

  Alerted by the awe in his voice, she looked where he’d indicated. A large raptor with a snowy head, M-shaped wings, and outstretched talons was hovering over the shoreline. Its underside was white but she could also see its brown upper body. She’d never been so close to one.

  Awed beyond words, she stared as the bird angled lower, moving ever slower until it was almost motionless. Suddenly it pulled its wings against its body and plunged into the lake. Only a small ripple indicated where it had disappeared. A moment later it reappeared with a flailing fish in its beak.

  “Incredible,” she managed to say.

  “Yes, incredible.” Nate slipped his arm around her shoulder and together they watched until the osprey disappeared.

  “I came here early this morning,” he said as she was trying to find her voice. “Looking to see if you’d returned but hadn’t let me know because you didn’t want to see me. I walked down to the lake and stood there. Just stood.”

  “Did you?”

  At long as he held her, she would remain close so she could feel every breath he took. Not think beyond now.

  “That’s when I saw it. Maybe it was the same osprey,” he continued, “maybe its mate.”

  He’d already been here today. Wanting to see her. “Maybe.”

  “Watching it, something changed in me. Either that or I finally acknowledged what’s been happening since I moved to Lake Serene. Since I met you.”

  She was on the brink of tears, but it didn’t matter. Only sliding her arm around his waist and becoming part of him did. “Me?”

  “You’ve gotten to me. You’re someone I want to confide in. When I saw that osprey I took it as a sign. Something I hoped I could share with you.”

  “Oh, Nate.”

  “But that wouldn’t happen unless I was honest.” He drew her around so they were face-to-face. His eyes narrowed, widened, narrowed again. “You’re still here. You didn’t tell me to leave. I’d understand if you did. That’s part of why I haven’t allowed myself to get close to anyone. Eventually I’d have to tell them. Once I had, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”

  “Did you give anyone a chance?”

  “No.”

  “Because you didn’t want to risk getting hurt. It wasn’t about their reactions. It was about you trying to avoid pain.”

  “I didn’t spare you.”

  “And, now, I’m grateful for that. Nate…” She fought back her tears and found her voice. “I love you.”

  “You…”

  “Just like that,” she told him with her heart beating like crazy. “No warning. Well, maybe a little.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  She groaned. “I don’t know. The only thing I’m sure of is I’ve never felt like this.”

  “Neither have I,” he whispered. “It’s just there.”

  “What is?”

  “My love for you.”

  “You…”

  “Have fallen for you. Hard. With no warning.” He rubbed his knuckles over her cheek. “That’s really why I decided to tell you about my past and why I’m here today. I couldn’t—for the first time in my adult life, I knew I couldn’t pack up my belongings and take off.”

  “You mean it?” He loved her. Real and open. No holding back.
<
br />   “I’ve never meant anything more.”

  “I—believe you.”

  “And I believe you,” he muttered.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Neither do I.”

  He lowered his head, prompting her to tilt hers up and hold onto him with all her strength. The dock rocked. A slapping sound told her that a trout had struck the lake’s surface. “Nature is keeping us company,” she said.

  “It’s always going to be like that.” His arms warmed her waist as they kissed.

  Kissed until Bruce barked and nudged them.

  “Do you think he approves?” Nate asked.

  How could Nate speak? “I think so.”

  “Maybe he knew all along.

  “Knew what?”

  “That we were going to wind up like this.”

  Another trout hit the water, reminding her they didn’t have the lake to themselves. “We’re being watched,” she said, “by the people in the sailboat.”

  “Good.” His breath was less than steady. “Because this is something I want to share.”

  Her eyes burned and her heart beat double-time. “Oh, Nate, I love you.”

  A rhythm of sorts moved the dock up and down a few inches, prompting her to hold him tight. Moment by moment, tension eased out of her to be replaced by a glorious sense of oneness. The past few days spent wondering where Nate stood or didn’t stand in her life had been hard but they’d been worth it. Necessary. She now had something strong and good to build on.

  Today was more than a perfect spring day at Lake Serene; it was indeed the first in their journey together.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “HOW GOOD OF a diver are you?”

  Alisha laughed and made a weak effort to drag Nate closer to the drop-off. “How about you go first? That way I’ll know how far out to launch myself.”

  “That’s not the way it works. You know the area. You’re supposed to be my guide.”

  “Guide? There’s the trail.” She indicated dirt and rocks with her boot. “Even a city slicker can stay on it.”

  “And a city slicker, which I’m not, knows when he’s climbed high enough.”

  Nate was right. They were already in snow and weren’t equipped for trying to reach the top. As long as it stayed warm, before long they’d be able to reach Mount Lynx’s peak and look out at hundreds of miles of wilderness. In the meantime, the view here was incredible. Even though it was far below, Lake Serene was inviting them to plunge into its depths which was why she’d teased him about his diving ability.

  “I thought I’d feel isolated up here,” she said, “but I don’t.”

  “You aren’t alone. There’s Bruce and me.”

  Almost giddy, she bumped his arm with her shoulder. “Right you are. However, Bruce isn’t much of a companion at the moment.” She indicated where her dog was curled up sleeping on the trail. “You might have to carry him back.”

  “Bringing him along was your idea,” he said even though it had been a joint decision. “You can either roll him down or I’ll help you strap him to your back.”

  “My back? You’re stronger than me.”

  “Don’t forget this equality thing. You’re as tough as any man.”

  “Says who? Maybe I want to be pampered. Did you hear me, Bruce? You’re supposed to be protecting me.”

  “From what?”

  Loving the conversation, she shrugged. “Grizzlies. The abominable snowman. Wolves. Rogue chipmunks.”

  Nate laughed. “Yeah, it’s pretty darn dangerous out here. Honey, I love you and your mutt, but he sucks as a watchdog.”

  Honey. “Yes, he does. Fortunately I can’t think of a safer place to be unless…”

  “Unless what?” he prompted.

  “I’m thinking—wouldn’t it be something if a wolf really is watching us?”

  “In your dreams.”

  She shook her head. “It’s going to happen, maybe sooner than later.”

  He made a show of looking around. “That doesn’t mean one is here.”

  “Don’t be so darn sure. How would you feel if you stepped out of the cabin one morning and found yourself face to face with—”

  “Now you are letting your imagination get away with you. For a businesswoman, you have some crazy flights of fantasy.”

  “What flight of fantasy? You won’t be saying the same thing when a pack decides to move in next door.”

  “When? I give up. You give stubbornness new meaning.”

  “I take that as a compliment.”

  “What makes you think that’s how I intended it?”

  Not long ago she would have tensed thinking Nate might be turning serious because that was how he’d been most of the time right after they’d met, but the past week had been the most peaceful—and sexually exciting—of her life.

  She looked around, breathing in snow-scented air as she did. “I know you’re having fun. Somber isn’t allowed here.”

  He groaned and pointed at his boots. “You’re right, but we might regret it. At least I might. My feet aren’t used to all that hiking.”

  “Not my problem.”

  “Maybe not right now but they will become your responsibility once we’re home and I insist you rub them.”

  “Not until you wash them. I don’t do stinky.” She pinched her nose. “You must admit you’re getting a better understanding of your surroundings because you aren’t trying to keep a bike upright.”

  “I still miss my bike.”

  “You still have it.”

  “I know.” He chuckled. “I was trying to get a rise out of you.”

  “Not going to happen today. I’m in my happy place.”

  He lightly thumped her shoulder. “You hauled me all the way up here so you could be happy?”

  “Sure. It worked.”

  “For both of us.”

  Both of us. She’d never imagined two people could braid their separate lives into one as seamlessly as Nate and she had. Something about joint confession had allowed them to step beyond getting-to-know-each-other and into a place where they all but finished each other’s sentences. She didn’t expect Nate to stop wanting to see new territory just because he now had a woman, her, in his life. She’d already pored over his stack of travel brochures and had declared they needed to start by exploring Montana.

  All right, he’d said, followed by insisting she leave her cell phone behind. She would but only if he helped her sell her car so they could replace it with something more practical for extended trips. They’d shaken hands, and more, on it. What mattered the most to her was that they’d be together.

  Together in so many ways. As a tingling sensation spread through her, she snuggled against his side.

  “What?” he asked. “Are you dizzy? Maybe short of breath. The elevation—”

  “There’s nothing wrong with me.”

  “Oh? Is this your way of telling me you’re ready to head down?”

  She wasn’t in any hurry to leave this quiet place where it was just the two of them. After everything that had happened since they’d declared their love for each other, it was wonderful to have some free time.

  “Not yet,” she said. “Besides—” She pointed. “Bruce needs to rest.”

  “Forget Bruce. I’m the one whose muscles will complain come morning.”

  “Oh.” She winked. “I think you’ll be able to perform your, ah, duties.”

  “Duties huh?” Nate kissed her forehead. “The next time we do something like this, we’re bringing along a sleeping bag meant for two.”

  “I’d like that. In fact, I love the idea.”

  “Thought you might. That’s one of the things I love about you.”

  Eyes mischievous, she cocked her head. “One of how many?”

  “A lot. Stay there. I want to take some pictures.”

  Nate’s digital camera was an inexpensive model. She’d buy him a new one the next time she went to Missoula which, unfortunately, would be so
oner than she wanted. Watching him snap shots of what from up here seemed like half of the world, she had to tuck her hands in her pockets to keep them off him.

  Nate wasn’t just the man who’d moved into her cabin, the man she made love to every night, the man who’d fed Bruce early this morning before heading for work. He was officially part of her future.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked.

  “About everything that’s happened.”

  “Me, too.”

  She extended her hand toward him indicating she wanted the camera. When he gave it to her, she took several pictures of him with blue sky and wispy white clouds behind him. At first he returned her gaze but before long his attention went to the glorious blue sky and handful of snow-white clouds.

  She had a meeting with her clients tomorrow afternoon and she might have to stay in Missoula overnight. When she’d told Nate she didn’t mind coming back late, he’d held her and said he’d rather not have her beside him than worry about her being on a mountain road after dark.

  At least she’d have these pictures of him to tide her over.

  “Something I forgot to ask,” Nate said as he crouched near Bruce, “are you going to have to talk to what’s his name, Kannar? Is he a sore loser?”

  She didn’t care. In truth she was having a hard time working up any enthusiasm for the project that had once been so important to her. The message left on her cell phone had been matter-of-fact. After careful consideration, the clients decided her proposal had more merit than Kannar’s. They were ready to move forward with her.

  She knelt close to Nate and placed her hand on his thigh. Happily acknowledged the tingle spreading throughout her. “I just want to get the project behind me so you and I can start on ours. I’m a little nervous but—”

  “It’s what you’ve long wanted to do. Your enthusiasm is contagious. We can’t fail.”

  When they weren’t making love, which wasn’t often, they’d been discussing the practical aspects of turning her dream of working with first-time home buyers into a career change. Nate’s reaction had surprised her in a good way. Not only was he convinced she wouldn’t regret selling the business that had meant more to her father than it ever had to her, he was eager to join her in the new venture. He’d handle plumbing repairs on houses in need of TLC, hire electricians and other workmen to do what he wasn’t qualified for, even help her determine whether someone was a good risk as a buyer.