A Boy I Used to Love (A St. Skin Novel): a bad boy new adult romance novel

by London Casey

  I left my hands at my sides.

  She let out a yell that was choked up by her coming tears.

  Another flash of lightning, another crack of thunder.

  The storm grew closer to us both.

  I just stared into those beautiful dark eyes of hers. The eyes that kept me going for so long. Eyes that I wanted to wake up next to everyday for the rest of my life.

  “I hate you right now,” she yelled. “And I want to love you. I want you to tell me why. Tell me everything. But you won’t even talk right now.”

  I stepped toward her and reached for her.

  Like a damn trained ninja, her left hand swatted down at my wrist, and her right hand shot up and across my face. I swore the hit was louder than the thunder. If I wasn’t bleeding from the piece of wood hitting, I was bleeding them.

  It was okay though. I could take it.

  And, shit, I deserved it.

  And, no, I wasn’t going to talk back to her. I wasn’t going to stomp on her beautiful raw emotions. She had been holding all of this in for a decade. The seal was broken, and the flood was only just beginning.

  Lacey spun around and shook her hand, crying.

  I stepped up behind her. I put my hands to her shoulders. She quickly wiggled away from me and spun back around. Hair slapped across her face, clinging like it was glued. I’d never seen her look so beautiful in all my life.

  “I want to know why,” she yelled. “Not some made-up excuse, either. I want the truth from you.”

  “The truth,” I said. “Fine. That’s all I have to give to you, Lacey. I would never lie to you.”

  “Then show me something,” she said.

  Lightning, thunder, wind. The storm had engulfed the entire sky, stealing the blue, leaving a thick gray blanket over everything. The rain picked up even harder. It started to sting as it smacked against my bare skin.

  I stepped toward Lacey and grabbed for her hand.

  “Come on,” I said.

  I didn’t give her a chance to deny me. I just walked, pulling her along. My heart and my head were both racing at the same pace, which usually wasn’t a good combination. I always counted on at least one or the other to pick up the slack and amount to something that resembled a decent decision.

  I dragged Lacey to the big-ass rock. I pulled her around and pushed her up against it. My hands were at her hips. Her hands flat against the rock.

  “You want to see something? You want truth?”

  I dropped to one knee in front of her. I never thought I’d have a moment like that. The shock on her face. The storm plunging down at us. The lightning and thunder closer in seconds, meaning the storm was getting closer. We had to take some damn shelter, and soon.

  But first…

  I clawed my hand into the wet dirt. I threw it back and did it again. And again. And again. I cleared out a spot around the pile of diamond rings I had brought up here. One by one. Year after fucking year.

  I then stood up and wiped my muddy hand on my jeans.

  Lacey looked down. Looked up at me. Looked back down.

  I walked away.

  My heart hurt. It actually, physically hurt. Seeing all those rings. Feeling the rain. All my pent-up emotions hidden away for so long.

  “Why?” I heard Lacey cry out.

  I stopped.

  I turned.

  “Why what?”

  “Why all these?”

  The rain was smacking the ground so hard, mud and water flew up. Another gust of wind ripped through. Branches bent and sway, succumbing to the storm’s power. I stood tall and fierce. No fucking storm was going to take me down. There was only one thing in the world that could destroy me, and I was staring at her. Whether she knew it or not, she had all the fucking power in the world to control me, love me, or kill me.

  “Why all the rings?” I asked.

  Lacey nodded.

  I could see how heavy she was breathing, desperately trying to hold herself together.

  I was breathing just as heavy, spitting out rainwater as I exhaled.

  “Why the rings?” I asked. “Because that’s what you wanted, Lacey. You wanted that ring. And each year I would call it off with anyone that tried to have a relationship with me. All so I could stay true to my promise to you. Because I loved you. Fuck, I still love you, Lacey. That shit just doesn’t go away. I couldn’t chase you down, and we both know that. I spent year after year thinking what I would say to you, and there was only one thing: to ask you to spend forever with me. To make sure that nothing could break us apart again. Ever again.”

  A huge smack of thunder sounded like it was just a few feet above my head.

  “I didn’t want to bring the same ring over and over to you. You deserve more. You deserve better. And each year…you didn’t show. So, I buried the ring. To bury the memory. To bury the hurt. So that I wouldn’t remind myself that you weren’t here.”

  “How many rings are there?” she asked.

  “Enough,” I said.” You can find out if you want.”

  Another gust of wind. Another bolt of lightning darting through the sky. Another smashing clap of thunder.

  Lacey looked back and then at me.

  She came after me again. Her shoes stomping in the mud. Her clothes soaking wet, clinging tight to her body.

  I was ready for her to smack me, punch me, whatever she needed to get her relief.

  At the last second, she jumped off her feet and into my arms.

  I felt her legs wrap around me as she was eye level with me.

  The rain poured harder than any rain I’d ever felt in my life.

  I just stood there, holding her.

  “I’m here,” she said. “Now fix it, River. Fix forever.”

  The moment had played out in my mind more times that I cared to ever admit. Like some fool, constantly imagining the chance to get my hands on Lacey again. Strip her clothes from her body. Feel every inch of her skin. Savor every look, smell, everything that burned between us.

  I barely had her feet on the floor when I tore at her shirt. I fought the wet shirt and forced it up and over her head. It hit the floor with a wet splat. Her bra was just as soaked as her shirt, her perfect breasts pressing tight against it. Her skin broke out in goosebumps as she shivered. I grabbed her arms and slowly moved my hands up and down, wanting to warm her.

  I came in and kissed her. Finally. Our mouths touching, our tongues meeting at some halfway point before I took control of the kiss.

  My hands slipped to her back, and I unsnapped her bra. I wrestled the straps down her arms as Lacey clawed at my shirt, peeling it off my wet skin. It quickly clung right back, though. It felt like I had a weighted vest attached to my body.

  I broke the kiss and took the shirt off myself. My eyes fixed themselves to her breasts. They were as beautiful as I ever remembered. Her nipples were tight, pink nubs, the rest of her skin still shivering from the rain water.

  I grabbed her waist and held her where I wanted her. I lowered my mouth to her chest. Her hands shot to my head, scratching at me, moaning my name as my tongue gently danced down until I found the comfort of her left breast. My mouth pressed against her, suckling, my tongue flicking. I had time to make up, and I had no more time to waste.

  As I pulled away from her, I growled when my teeth let her go. She let out a little cry that sent a shivering heat straight between my legs. My hands pushed her, putting her on the bed. I moved right for Lacey again, opening her jeans. Now came the wild part. Stripping those wet jeans off her body. Not to mention with each movement she made, her breasts danced. The sight was beautiful. Her wet hair clinging to her body was even better.

  All the while, the rain knocked against the window with the blowing gusts of the wind.

  I had her down to her panties. The moment I had those down to her ankles, she kicked them off and hurried to close her legs. The coy shyness of her made me grin.

  “Nothing I’ve never seen, touched, or tasted before,” I whispered as I hove
red over her.

  Lacey bit her lip and planted a hand right between my legs. She had a handful, but there was plenty more to give. I eased my hips away from her, giving her space to open my wet jeans. My eyes just devoured her body. Her bare skin tightening, subtle changes from the young woman I fell in love with. I was sure for Lacey that she wished she was ten years younger again for me, but I didn’t feel that desire at all. The missed years hurt, but what they had given Lacey’s figure was amazing. My fingers touched her hips, feeling curves that weren’t quite as defined at before. I trailed up along her sides and around to her breasts.

  Her hands shoved my jeans and boxers, struggling the same way I had, thanks to the rain.

  I stood from the bed for a moment to kick the rest of my clothes off.

  I watched as she held her legs together, creating a V that left my cock throbbing almost to the point of hurting.

  As I came back to the bed, her hand reached for me again. Skin against skin, her hand sliding against the hardness of my shaft, inching down to the base of my trunk. My hands grabbed at the bed, curling tight, fighting off the urge to just release right then and there. We both looked down to watch Lacey admire her work.

  Seeing her hand touching me was everything. Her shyness and leftover innocence were all gone now. She had a sense of confidence when touching me, yet she kept her legs held together.

  Slowly, I brought my right hand toward her body. I touched the outside of her leg. I inched up and over, cutting to her inner thigh. Her legs began to part, the swell of her heat pulsing in my hand. I kept going, moving up, the seconds passing, the torture killing me. Comfort came the moment my fingertips grazed her wetness. I paused for a second and looked up at Lacey. Our eyes locked. She parted her lips and let out a sigh.

  I pressed my fingers against her, thrusting, feeling her perfect body. I let my middle finger make circles and shapes, as though I was autographing her beautiful sex, taking my claim once again.

  The difference now was that she wasn’t going to get away from me.

  I brought my finger up and touched the bud of her clit. I pressed and twisted, watching instant pleasure spread across her face.

  I couldn’t fucking take anymore.

  I brought my top half down to hers, my mouth seeking hers. We kissed as I teased her clit, explored her pussy, reminding myself of what I had been missing for so damn long. And nothing could compare to her. Ever. Her subtle hip thrusts. The little noises she made when I hit the right spots.

  Finally, I slid my hand up and along her smooth body and rested it against her hip.

  I lowered myself down to her, linking myself up with the instinctual need to love her. To have her. To feel pleasure from her and give her pleasure. It was like something was taking over my body and brain. She was the ultimate drug, and I would pay whatever price it took to get my fix. No matter if it hurt or killed me.

  I broke the kiss and touched Lacey’s face with my other hand. My thumb stroked her cheek as I took a few seconds to breathe it all in.

  Outside, the storm continued to pound against the sky, the rain battering the roof of the cabin. Inside, an even bigger storm grew.

  “Lacey…I never stopped loving you,” I whispered. “Not for a second. And I’m not going to stop.”

  She opened her mouth to respond, but I stole her words with a hot kiss.

  I thrust forward, entering her, her body sheathing me as I sank deeper by the second.

  Outside, lightning flashed. Thunder clapped. Rain pelted the world.

  Inside, it was everything. My world came together.

  But the past was waiting to tear us apart.

  Lacey

  PRESENT DAY

  I had forgotten how it could feel.

  My hands tried to claw at the bed, but I couldn’t get a grip. River had his mouth against my neck. His tongue tasting my wet skin. It was amazing how fast the chilly feeling from the rain left us. It was all heat now. Beautiful and wild heat.

  As River pulled back and thrust forward again, the pressure at my core made me cry out. I felt every perfect inch of his cock inside me, gaining access to depths that only he had ever explored before. I was forever his, no matter what. We both knew it, and we both needed to find a way to keep it from going away.

  When I couldn’t grab the sheets, I put my hands to his back. I scratched him as his mouth started to descend upon my body. I arched my chest, longing for his mouth to taste me again. His tongue rolled around my left nipple, making me shiver and groan. I put my legs up and around his strong body, my heels digging into him, wanting it more. Wanting it harder. Wanting it for forever.

  River picked up speed. The pleasure soared through my body. Head to toe, I was tingling with deep desire. Anything I had experienced for the last ten years was just out of basic need. What I felt with River was lust-filled want. And he was the only one who could satisfy that want.

  His mouth closed tighter around my breast. The edges of his teeth pulled against my nipple. I sucked in a breath and let out a whimper as my left hand slid up into his hair. I grabbed at him, breathing heavier, pulling him away from my breast. River stared at me. I brought my hands to his face and held him. His lower half kept pumping at me, pleasuring me. Connecting with me.

  I pulled at him, bringing him closer to me. But we didn’t kiss. There were a few inches between us. His right hand touched my side and came up, cupping under my breast. His thumb moved over my nipple.

  My thumbs moved along the scruff on his face.

  We held those seconds together, feeling the connection between us. Hearts racing. The love that never died growing again. His body working perfectly to bring me to the edge of climax.

  “Come for me,” he whispered. “I want to feel you again, darlin’. Right now.”

  He lowered his mouth to mine again, and we kissed. His other hand touched my hip and squeezed tight. He started to fuck me harder, faster, his precision deadly in a good way. The tingling pleasure spread through my body like a wildfire. The background noise of the thunderstorm storm kept up, and it somehow just made sense. It was part of this moment for us. Loving each other through a storm.

  “Oh, River,” I groaned. The feeling reached its pinnacle, a deep swell ready to explode from within my core. “Fuck…yes…”

  The back of my legs tightened, and I pulled myself against the bed, bucking my hips up at him as he thrust with even more beautiful force.

  I started to come, my hands grabbing his shoulders, holding on tight. I pulled forward, lurching off the bed. River slid his hands to my back and held me, almost cradling me against his strong chest as I started to kiss him.

  “Yes, darlin’,” River growled. “Yes…”

  I whimpered as my body’s orgasm went on. The wild sensation had passed from my core down between my legs. River was still loving me, his hard shaft finding its way in and out me. It was like the pleasure wouldn’t end.

  Then River made a move.

  His hands tightened against my back. He rolled to his right, taking me with him. Just like that, I was then on top of him. My hands spread across his wildly defined chest. A wave of self conscious feeling ran through me as I felt so exposed and visible to him.

  His hands grabbed my hips, and he wasted no time in lifting me and lowering me.

  When he did, I gasped, forgetting to breathe for a split second.

  I slid my right hand up to touch his face again.

  Both of his hands came around and touched my belly, making me shiver. He then moved up until he was cupping my breasts. I rocked my hips against his thickness. The feeling left me so impossibly full I wasn’t sure if I was coming again or still coming from a few seconds ago.

  I was then left with no choice but to keep my hands on his strong chest, my nails digging into him as I rode him. I was officially using him for my own pleasure. I had never done this before with River. He had always been the one in control. But now, I was pumping and thrusting my hips against him. Lifting and lowering, feelin
g the backs of my legs slap against his thick legs. The sound began to echo in the room, feeling as loud as they thunder outside.

  I kept going and going. I threw my head back. The ends of wet hair slapped my back. I leaned forward, feeling more gorgeous than I had in my entire life. I shut my eyes and let my body become consumed by the pleasure. Feeling his thickness inside me. Pressing, opening, exploring everything I had to offer him.

  His hands squeezed hard against my breasts. Then their grip released, and his hands were moving down my body once again. He took firm hold to my hips. I hated my hips. I went from a slender young woman to this curvy figure overnight. It drove me nuts, but right at that exact moment I was grateful for my hips and all the curves that came with them. Because River held tight and started to lift and lower me.

  Now he was using me.

  I slid my hands to his arms, feeling those muscles flexing. Those rock-hard muscles that used to carry me and hold me. Those iron muscles that were used to fighting, to winning cash, cash he would spoil me with.

  The history between was as real as the pleasure soaring through my body.

  It soared to a point where I cried out once again as I felt myself approaching another climax. When I started to come the second time, I collapsed into his chest. I was unable to hold myself up. Every muscle turned into rubber. I buried my face into his neck, smelling the sweat of a real man.

  His arms wrapped around me, incredibly tight, almost constricting my breath.

  The top halves of our bodies were connected tightly together. Our lower halves…it was all River. Pumping. Thrusting. Having me. I was his for the taking, and trust me, he took all he could get and then some.

  When the explosion of his orgasm finally began, he thrust so deep and hard inside me, I bit his neck. I sank my teeth into his skin like I was hungry for blood. And he held it there, so deep, his cock pulsing, my hips bucking, desperate for relief.

  Slowly, with romantic, gentle care lingering in the air, he continued to fuck me. His hands slid up my body, and he grabbed at my face, making me look at him.