A Boy I Used to Love (A St. Skin Novel): a bad boy new adult romance novel

by London Casey

  “Because he’s hurting. And you look the same as he does. So, whatever you two got between each other, get it out of the way, Lacey. He’s never going to get over you. You’re never going to get over him.”

  “Does he know your real name is Andrew?” I asked with a grin.

  “No. And I’d appreciate if you could keep that our secret.”

  “I think I can do that.”

  “I’m not messing around. I don’t know what happened to him when he came to St. Skin, but he was in rough shape. But he came back to life through his work. Now? He’s not the River I know. He’s lost. I don’t know whether you need to settle up the past or what, but you both need it. Don’t waste time in regret.” Axel stepped toward me. He towered over me. “And I’m going to be blunt about this shit, too. That woman in there? The dying one? She lived a life of regret. Letting my old man control her in a way that broke my heart. And I never want to see that happen to anyone I care about. So, if you and River think there’s anything there, you two better start fucking talking this out. I don’t know anything about your past with him. But I know this. The past… it’s the damn present, Lacey. It’s real.”

  “He came to St. Skin hurt?” I asked.

  “Not my place to say anything else.”

  “Then I’ll make it my business with him,” I said. “I’ll get in touch with him.”

  “Go see him.”

  “I don’t know where he lives or if he’s home.”

  Axel shook his head. He took out his phone and punched the screen a few times. Then he turned his phone around.

  “I just texted him,” Axel said. “Asked him if he’s home. He said yes.”

  My heart leapt from my chest to my throat. Butterflies kicked up in my belly.

  “I look like hell,” I said.

  “Excuses don’t matter,” Axel said. “Make a decision.”

  “Thanks for the advice, Andrew,” I said.

  “Don’t,” he said with a grin. “Do you love him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then don’t let anything get in your way of that. Trust me.”

  I stepped off the porch and got into my car.

  Axel walked to the window and I rolled it down.

  “You got GPS on your phone?” he asked.

  “Of course. Everyone does.”

  “Give me your phone.”

  There I was, handing my phone over to this monster of a man who was trying to take care of his dying mother.

  He gave me my phone back as it began to spit out directions.

  Axel nodded and backed away.

  I didn’t need to ask where I was going. I already knew.

  I was going to see River.

  River

  PRESENT DAY

  I hovered over the kitchen counter with some notebooks open, sketching some designs. I had an idea I wanted to run by Tate that involved my own little line of stuff. As much as I hated the notion of the limelight, I saw what it did for the other guys. Cass was killing it because of his previous rockstar life but also because he had his own gallery online. He got out there with stuff. He worked the artist angle like a genius. Same for Prick. He loved attention. And Max, well, Max’s work with portraits was so unique he didn’t need to do a damn thing.

  I wanted my own line. It was a concept I came up with before, but all those dreams on the beach were fucking squandered. By a woman. Shocking news there, sure. That was a story nobody ever knew about and one that I hoped I could take to my grave peacefully. The closest I came to really slipping up and forgetting about Lacey. That would never happen again. That’s why my relationships were based on time, around one fucking date.

  Halfway through a line I just stopped. I dropped the pencil and put my hands to the counter. I looked around the apartment and let out a sigh. This was why I got tangled up in relationships while waiting for Lacey. Being alone left my mind to wander and wonder. Right now, I desperately needed a beautiful woman to come strolling through the apartment in my shirt and nothing else. Curl up on the couch with some girly-ass show. A glass of wine. That look of wildness in her eyes.

  Gritting my teeth, I went to the fridge and got a beer.

  The fridge was damn near empty. Another downfall of not having a woman around my place.

  I threw the bottle back with a mental plan forming that involved drinking about ten of those, sketching until my hand hurt, and then passing out on the couch. All I had ahead of me was time. Time that I needed to figure out, organize, and maybe make the best of.

  But somehow, I knew that come next year I’d go back to the cabin, to the big-ass rock, and I’d wait for Lacey as though she’d come back yet again.

  Halfway through the first beer there was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock and then at the door.

  I put the beer bottle down and walked to the door.

  When I opened it and saw Lacey standing there, I looked back over my shoulder wondering if I had somehow pounded a bottle of whiskey and was so drunk that I was hallucinating.

  I looked at her and blinked, waiting for her to disappear.

  “River,” she whispered. “I…”

  “Is this real?” I asked. “You’re here?”

  “I’m here. We need to talk about everything. Once and for all.”

  I slowly nodded. “Right. Come on in.”

  I stepped back and watched Lacey enter my apartment. I shut the door and engaged the two locks. She made it a couple feet away and I grabbed for her arm. Tugging at her, she spun around and looked at me.

  Silence flooded the room but there was so much screaming in my head. The fire Lacey started inside me had been burning for years and there was no stopping it. No matter how hard I tried, it always came back to her. The one. The only one. The real one. The beautiful one. The perfect one. The everything one.

  I pulled at her, bringing her close. I grabbed the strap of her bag and stripped it down her arm, letting it fall to the floor. My hands eased around her body and I put her body against mine. Her hands were at my chest. She could push me away with ease and I’d let her go. She stared up at me.

  “Here to talk,” I whispered.

  “Yes,” she said. “Talk. Right?”

  “Right,” I said.

  Her hands slid up to my face.

  I eased down and our lips touched.

  We could talk later.

  My fingers traced lines down her legs. She shivered against my touch, her hands gripping at the bedsheets tight. Her hips gently bucked, her sweetness ready for me to take. My lips grazed just above her belly button. She was comfortable in her body around me and that was such a fucking turn on. I loved everything about her body, too. There wasn’t a flaw if I tried to find one. She was so perfect and unique that I craved her in a way that nobody could ever help to satisfy.

  I purposely kissed her hard and loud, my lips smacking against her stomach as I continued my descent down her body. When I reached her soft mound, I paused and brought my hands to her inner thighs. Bringing my hands up, I gently parted her legs. She looked down at me, staring over her beautiful breasts, those killer eyes of hers locking tightly with mine.

  There was a momentary pause as I felt my heart ripping and twisting. I never felt this way with a woman. Even if it all ended in heartache, these moments were worth everything.

  I kissed her again, focusing back on her body.

  I nestled between her legs, her sweetness filling my nose, making my mouth water. The tip of my tongue eased against the bud of her clit. Making circles, flicking against her, feeling and watching her body react to me.

  She let out a sigh and then a groan, settling into the pleasure.

  My tongue moved down, tasting all of her beautiful sex. I pressed my lips against her lips. My tongue came forward, easing against her tightness. I turned my head a little and gently began to suckle the honey off her body. My left hand slowly crept up her body, feeling the curve of her hip, a slight arch in her back that changed when I moved my tongue against
her pussy. My hand rested against her breast. Lacey quickly put her hand over mine, clawing at me, letting out a groan.

  I growled deep in my throat. My deepest need, my addiction to Lacey, all of it colliding and demanding more of her. I moved up a little, giving her clit an eskimo kiss before my tongue went back to work. Using the tip of my tongue I drew her the tattoo I would love to put on her perfect skin. All the intricate designs of it. The curves. The corners. The rounded edges.

  Each move of my tongue made her jump and thrust at me. Her right hand reached down and grabbed at my hair. Her hand wrapped tight, her nails digging into my scalp. She pulled at me, wanting more. So, I gave her more. I pressed harder against her body, loving her clit until she was trembling as her pleasure mounted to an unescapable level.

  “Yes,” I groaned, taking a split-second break.

  “River!” she cried out as her ass lifted off the bed.

  At the last second, I brought my right hand between her legs. With two fingers, I plunged deep into her core as my mouth released its hold on her clit. I kissed up her body as she came, her insides clenching and releasing with her orgasm. She thrust at my fingers, showing me what those beautiful hips were capable of doing.

  My kisses were sloppy and noisy. I paused at her left breast and engulfed her, the fingers of my right hand buried deeper. She was still throbbing, her body almost to the point of shaking. Her back was arched so much that she was almost looking upside down.

  I pulled away from her breast by bringing my teeth together over her precious nipple, biting just enough to make her whimper but never enough to actually cause her any pain.

  I broke away and put my left hand to the bed, lifting up so I could see her entire body. The way her stomach was lifting and lowering from her heavy breathing. The way her hips were still rocking. The sound of my fingers touching her wetness, the sweet sound echoing through the bedroom.

  She finally collapsed to the bed and started to shut her legs, chasing away my touch. I eased out of her and stood at the edge of the bed, admiring her. She stared at me with a hopeless look in her eyes.

  Is that what we are, darlin’? We just pleasure each other? We don’t talk for years. We don’t talk at all. We pretend nothing happened. We just fuck each other senseless and then disappear?

  If that’s what Lacey wanted, that’s what I would give her.

  Anything for her.

  Lacey forced herself to sit up and came to the edge of the bed.

  “Darlin’,” I said. “I don’t know what this means…”

  She stuck her hands up my shirt and lifted. Her arms were as straight as they could go. I grabbed the shirt from her and took it off. Her hands clawed at my chest, scratching down as her mouth came forward and kissed me. The feeling of her sweet lips against my bare skin made my cock ache. I was filling up my jeans pretty fast. It was uncomfortable.

  I made fists and watched as she kissed down my stomach to the top of my jeans. Her hands were right behind her lips, going for the button on my jeans. Opening them, she pushed them down, her fingers wrapping around my boxers too. I let out a sigh of relief as I felt my cock pop free.

  Lacey made a surprised sound followed by a groan.

  “Yes,” she purred, her hot breath hitting my shaft.

  I gritted my teeth and growled deep in my throat again.

  She took my jeans down to my knees and then brought her hands back up.

  When she touched my bare cock, I sucked in a breath. I let out a hiss as her fingers teased all the way up to my sensitive tip. Her right hand rolled over the tip and then back down. As she gripped my root tight she looked up at me with flirty eyes that threatened to destroy me.

  She knew what she was capable of doing to me.

  Without breaking her stare, she came forward and pressed her lips against my hardness. Kissing me over and over, groaning each time she did. I watched as her mouth began to open, savoring me. She inched down a little and pulled back, repeating the same motion a few times.

  I could have finished right then and there. But that’s not what I wanted. At least not in this moment between us.

  I put my hands on her shoulders and guided her away from me.

  “River…”

  “Easy, darlin’,” I said with a grin. I crouched down and put my hands to her sides. I lifted her and threw her back on the bed. “I want to feel you.”

  I lowered my hips down to hers, feeling her warm center. She was still burning wet and hot for me, ready to accept.

  I thrust forward, entering her, my hands now pulling at the bedsheets as she sheathed me so impossibly tightly. Her back instantly arched again as she cried out. I pulled back and thrust again. I gritted my teeth, feeling more and more power surge through me with each thrust. It was like suddenly the last ten years decided to catch up to me.

  Lacey grabbed at my shoulders and held tight. She looked at me, crunching forward a little as I sped up.

  I felt as though I was losing all control of my body. I just stared at her, teeth gritted, lip curled, my eyes burning into hers. Regret and anger flowed through me as freely as love did.

  I finally caught up to myself and thrust forward and held there. Lacey rocked her hips, her beautiful core squeezing against me, bringing me to the edge. I pulled back and came forward slowly.

  “No,” she groaned. “Like before. Have me, River. Don’t hold back.”

  She wrapped her legs around me.

  She wanted it hard. She wanted it fast.

  So, that’s how I gave it to her.

  Harder, faster.

  Our breathing going wild. The room filling with heat.

  I lowered myself down to her chest and kissed her. From breast to breast, memorizing the taste of her skin and her sweat. I kissed up to her neck and then rested there, putting the bridge of my nose there and nestling against her.

  Lacey put her hands around me and held me there. It was like she was cuddling me as I loved her body.

  Her left hand moved down to my back, digging at me.

  “Yes, River,” she said. “Yes… I love you…”

  That only made me move faster. My heart was racing faster than I could remember.

  I felt her starting to climax again.

  That was all my body could handle.

  I pulled back and with one last thrust, I was deeper than I had ever been before as I let myself go.

  We came together, our bodies entangled with sweat and romance.

  I pulled away from the crook of her neck and started to kiss her.

  We kept kissing.

  We didn’t stop, either.

  We kissed sloppily. We kissed gently. We took a break for a few seconds to stare at each other. The love was there. I felt it. I knew she felt it. It was real. Scary real.

  We kissed again.

  We kissed until I was ready to have her again.

  Lacey

  PRESENT DAY

  I tried to let out a yell, but I had no breath. I felt River inside me, releasing, filling me with a pressure that made me feel like I was going to explode. I was sitting up on his hands, my legs wrapped around him. My head was back, staring at the ceiling as I tried to breathe. His lips and tongue kissed from my chest to my neck as he growled with the pulse of his cock. His hands were wrapped tight around me, pulling me down as he thrust up and came.

  When he was done, he gently set me down to the bed.

  He was still inside me, moving with a delicate kind of love to my body as I tingled everywhere.

  He started to kiss me again, and I wasn’t sure my body could handle round three.

  But River pulled away. He rubbed the tip of his nose against mine. I was suddenly taken back to the abandoned house. That same move River used to pull when we were finished.

  “It was just a house,” he whispered.

  “What?”

  “The old house. I’m sorry it burned down.”

  “I know,” I whispered. “I just…”

  “I know,” he said w
ith a grin. “I had this vision of buying that place and fixing it up for you. Giving it to you. Letting you make it what you want.”

  “We have the memories,” I said. “Right?”

  “Yeah. Right. You didn’t come here to talk about that house, did you?”

  “No,” I said.

  “Need a drink?”

  “Please.”

  River kissed me again and got out of the bed. I turned to my side and grinned, staring at his perfect ass. The way his body was built it was like he had been carved by hand out of stone. His back muscles came down right to his steel-cut ass. I bit my lip, imagining what his ass must have looked like a few minutes ago as he worked so hard to pleasure me.

  He stepped into nothing but jeans and left the bedroom.

  I hurried to climb of out the bed too, taking the bedsheet with me. I was going to walk out in nothing but that, but I spotted a blue bathrobe hanging on the door. I grabbed it and put it to my nose. It smelled like River. That turned me on, making my inner thighs quiver.

  I put the robe on and exited the room.

  I met him in the kitchen to find him standing at the counter with two beers.

  “Well,” he said. “Look at you.”

  “What are these?” I asked, pointing to a group of drawings on the counter.

  “Sketches for tattoos,” he said.

  “They’re beautiful.”

  “I was thinking about having my own line of stuff,” he said. “Just a little dream. I started working on it a while ago, but things fell through.”

  “What fell through?”

  “My shop.”

  “Your shop?”

  River twisted the caps off and gave me a bottle.

  “I had a tattoo shop, Lacey. Right on the beach.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah, wow.” He smirked. “It was a good place. I struggled to figure out how to run a business.”

  “What happened? Why did you close it?”

  “It was just time to shut it all down, Lacey. I needed a change to save myself. Things were just out of control in my life. I never could settle anywhere for long. The second I did, I thought about you.”