Their Meant-to-Be Baby

by Caroline Anderson

  ‘Wow,’ Annie said again. ‘Poor guy. But at least he’s taken responsibility for it and you’re not going to be alone.’

  ‘No, but he wants to move in, and I’m not sure I can cope with it, Annie. What if he finds he can’t do it? It’ll be so much worse if we’ve been living together like a couple. We’ll have so much more invested in it—not that we can have much more than sharing a child, but even so...’

  ‘Does he have a name?’

  She laughed. ‘Yes, he has a name. Sam—Sam Ryder.’

  ‘Nice name. Good, strong name. Good-looking, of course?’

  Her smile was wry. ‘Very. He’s a proper hottie.’

  Annie shook her head. ‘Well, I have to say, Kate, if you had to make a mistake, he sounds like a good one. He’s a doctor, he’s single, he’s being supportive—realistically, could you ask for more?’

  She swallowed. ‘Him not to be stuck with me against his will? Not to be making the best of a situation he really, really doesn’t want to be in? Him to love me? He’s a really, really nice man, Annie, and under any other circumstances he’d be a real catch, but I can’t compete with his dead fiancée, I just can’t...’

  Her eyes flooded, and Annie put her arms round her and hugged her.

  ‘Give him time. He’ll get over her, and this is so new to both of you—you’ll work it out.’

  ‘Oh, Annie, I hope so.’ She pulled away and sniffed. ‘What about that tea? Shall I put the kettle on while you get the cake out for the girls?’

  ‘Don’t you want some?’

  Kate laughed sadly. ‘You know me too well, but I shouldn’t, really. Nothing fits me any more as it is.’

  ‘Don’t buy any maternity clothes! I’m never going to need them again, and I’ll have lots of baby clothes I can hand on as they grow out of them. Really, you don’t need to get anything, Kate, unless you want to.’

  ‘Oh, Annie, thank you,’ she said, and her eyes welled again. ‘I still can’t really believe it’s happening.’

  Annie picked up the scan photo envelope and waggled it at her. ‘Really?’ She eased them out of the envelope and studied them for a moment, her face softening. ‘They’re lovely photos,’ she said quietly. ‘Sometimes they’re just in the wrong position and they can’t get a decent image, but these are perfect.’

  ‘It waved,’ she said, and nearly set herself off again, and Annie put the photos back in the envelope, handed it to her and got out the mugs.

  ‘Come on, you. Cup of tea, slice of Marnie’s cake—chocolate this week—and then we’ll go and look at my clothes. And then at some point in the not too distant future, I’d like to meet this man of yours.’

  * * *

  She cooked for Sam that night—nothing huge after the fish and chips they’d had in the pub, just a stir fry with noodles, but she managed not to ruin it, which felt like progress.

  ‘I spoke to James,’ he told her as she dished up. ‘We’re going round there at eight thirty. They’re going to want to know why I’m moving out and they don’t need to hear stuff on the grapevine. I thought it would be best to get it over with.’

  She nodded. ‘Yes, I suppose so. I told Annie today that you’re the father. She was really sweet—and she wants to meet you. She’s offered me lots of stuff—maternity clothes and baby things. She says I can have all the clothes as the boys grow out of them.’

  ‘What if it’s a girl?’

  She smiled. ‘She probably won’t mind the odd blue thing.’

  ‘I’m sure we can find some pretty pink stuff if the need arises. Do you mind what it is?’

  Her hands strayed instinctively to her tummy, surprised yet again by the little bump that seemed to be growing by the hour. ‘No—no, I don’t think so. I just want it to be happy. It’s the only thing that matters—’

  He reached out and squeezed her hand. ‘It will be. We’ll make sure of it. This smells good,’ he added, picking up his fork and digging in. ‘Mmm. Tasty,’ he mumbled, and she felt a ridiculous surge of pride.

  ‘So, when are you planning on moving in?’ she asked, going back to their earlier conversation.

  ‘Whenever. I haven’t got a lot of stuff. We could do it in one car load.’

  ‘Oh. OK. What do you think they’ll say?’ she asked. ‘About the baby, I mean.’

  ‘James—probably not a lot. It’ll be Connie that has the opinion, I would imagine. Whatever, it’s our baby, Kate, not theirs, and at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what they feel about it, but I like to think they’ll be supportive.’

  Kate wasn’t so sure, and her heart was pounding a little as they pulled up outside on the dot of eight thirty.

  ‘OK?’ Sam asked her, pausing on the veranda before knocking, and she nodded.

  She wasn’t, but it had to be done. ‘OK,’ she lied, and tried to smile, but she was too nervous and if it wasn’t for the fact that they were Sam’s friends, she would have legged it.

  ‘It’ll be fine,’ he said softly, stroking his knuckles over her cheek in a gentle gesture of reassurance.

  ‘I doubt it.’ She heard scratching at the door and the handle rattle, and his hand fell away as James opened the door, his hand firmly in Saffy’s collar.

  ‘Come on in. Connie’s in the sitting room. Kate, are you all right with the dog or shall I shut her away?’

  ‘No, I’m fine with her,’ she said, fondling Saffy’s ears, and she was rewarded by a thrashing tail and a cheerful, lolling tongue that reminded her of her foster parents’ dogs. They’d been a refuge for her when things had turned sour, and she’d missed them ever since.

  She followed Sam through the kitchen and round through a wide opening into a lovely, cosy room, with a pair of sofas facing each other across an old leather trunk that doubled as a coffee table and, beyond them, framed by a huge bay window, was a spectacular view of the sea.

  The light was fading now, a pale band on the distant horizon all that was left of the day, and Connie switched on the table lamps as they went in, banishing the dusk and flooding the room with warmth.

  ‘Hello, Kate, how are you? I haven’t seen you for ages. Are you OK?’ she asked, and Kate nodded, wishing the ground could open up and swallow her. These were her colleagues, people she’d worked with, people who’d seen her at her best and worst.

  And this, she thought grimly, was definitely her worst. She pasted a smile firmly on her face and mentally battened down the hatches. ‘I’m fine. How are you?’

  ‘Blooming. I love being pregnant,’ Connie said, her happy smile just underlining the difference in their circumstances. ‘Can I get you a drink? Glass of wine? Cup of coffee?’

  What could she say to that that wouldn’t give the game away? Not that Sam wasn’t just about to, but even so...

  ‘Actually, have you got any sparkling water?’

  ‘Yes, sure. Sam?’

  ‘I’ll have coffee, Connie, please.’

  She went into the kitchen, leaving Sam crouched down rubbing Saffy’s tummy, and Kate stood in the bay window watching the rapidly fading light and wondering what it would be like to live in a house like this. She’d never been in it before, but it was love at first sight, and she couldn’t imagine how James and Connie could even consider leaving it.

  ‘So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?’ Sam asked as Connie and James came out of the kitchen.

  ‘Oh, no, you first,’ Connie said, putting the tray of drinks down on the old trunk, and Kate’s heart gave a thump.

  James waved at a sofa. ‘Kate, Sam, sit down, make yourselves at home.’

  There wasn’t really a prayer of that, but as she didn’t have much alternative she perched on the nearest sofa. Connie plonked herself down on the other sofa next to James, with the result that she and Sam ended up facing them across the trunk. It
felt as if they were being interviewed, and she was glad when Saffy came and leant against her legs so she could stroke her to give her hands something to do apart from shake.

  ‘So, come on then, what is it?’ Connie prompted, and beside her Kate felt Sam haul in a deep breath before pulling one of the scan photos out of his jacket pocket and dropping it on the trunk in front of them.

  ‘We’re having a baby,’ he said quietly, and Kate held her breath in the stunned silence that followed.

  To her surprise Connie’s eyes filled with tears as she picked up the photo and stared at it. ‘How? You haven’t had time...’

  ‘It doesn’t take long, and I would imagine you know how, so I won’t elaborate,’ Sam said drily. ‘We met in January, the night I stayed on to see the boat.’

  ‘Well, I know that, but I hadn’t realised you’d...’

  She trailed off, and he nodded. ‘And that’s it, really. There isn’t a lot more I can add.’

  Connie let her breath out on a shaky sigh and put the photo down. ‘Oh, Sam. Are you OK?’ she asked, her voice gentle, as if she knew he wasn’t.

  ‘We’re working on it,’ he said quietly, and Connie glanced across at Kate.

  Until then her focus had been on Sam, all her concern for him, but that was natural. He was her friend, and he’d been through hell recently. She and Connie weren’t much more than acquaintances, so she didn’t expect any sympathy, but now Connie’s eyes were on her and she realised she’d been wrong about that.

  ‘Kate?’ she asked softly.

  Kate shrugged. ‘You know me, Connie, one disaster after another,’ she said lightly, trying to get the quiver out of her voice. ‘I mess everything up. It seems to be my job in life to ruin other people’s, never mind my own—’

  ‘No!’ Sam’s voice was firm. ‘It was an accident, Kate, and at the end of the day it was my fault, not yours, so don’t go taking all the blame.’

  ‘But it was my fault! If I’d taken the morning-after pill—’

  ‘You were sick, it would’ve been too late, and anyway, you shouldn’t have needed to—’

  ‘Whoa,’ James said, chipping in for the first time. ‘You two really are having a guilt fest, aren’t you?’

  Sam sucked in a breath and let it out in a rush. ‘Sorry, we’re a bit fraught. It’s been a tough day for both of us at the end of a difficult week, but we just wanted you to know the situation.’

  Sam’s hand found hers, enclosing it in a reassuring grip, and she leant against him, grateful for his solid warmth in the turbulent sea of emotions that filled the room. As if to reinforce the comfort, she felt Saffy lick her hand, and she stroked the warm, silky head that lay across her knees.

  ‘Will you be really all right?’ Connie asked. ‘It’s so soon—you don’t even know each other. What are you going to do?’

  ‘We’re keeping it,’ he said calmly, although Kate was sure he was anything but calm. ‘Together. I’m going to move into Kate’s flat, and we’ll work it out as we go along.’

  Kate felt Connie’s eyes on her and looked up to see concern flare in them, but who it was for she couldn’t tell. Any one of the three involved, the baby included, would have been a suitable candidate.

  ‘Kate?’

  She tried to smile, but it was a pretty poor effort so she gave up and shrugged. ‘We have to start somewhere. Now is as good a time as any. We’ve only got six months before the baby comes, and we need to—how was it you put it?’ she asked, turning to Sam. ‘Find a new way forward? Especially Sam.’

  ‘No,’ he said firmly. ‘This is just as hard for you, if not harder. It’s a no-brainer for me to keep the baby. It’s taking much more courage for you to do it.’

  That was news to her. She’d felt it was him who was struggling the most, him who was finding it so hard because of his grief, because of Kerry. She was just plain terrified and convinced it was doomed to failure like every other relationship, but he seemed to have understood the depth of her fears, and just that simple fact suddenly made it all seem so much easier.

  ‘So—you’re really going to live in the flat?’ Connie asked. ‘Up all those stairs with a baby and a buggy and all the shopping? You live on the top floor, don’t you, Kate?’

  ‘Yes, but it’s fine—’

  ‘It’ll be fine for now, but we’ll sort out something a bit more permanent when we know where I’m going to be working next,’ Sam said, and she felt a little stab of unease.

  She knew her flat wasn’t great, but it was her home, and although at times it was lonely, it was hers, nobody could tell her what to do in it, and suddenly that all felt threatened. Especially the possibility of moving away from all her friends...

  ‘Actually, you may not have to go anywhere,’ James said, stopping her thoughts in their tracks. ‘I’ve got a feeling Annie won’t come back after her maternity leave, and if the job comes up, we’ll need to replace her. Would a part-time consultancy be enough for you?’

  Sam shrugged thoughtfully. ‘Maybe, if the contract was right. It would give me time to bond with the baby, and to be near our friends would be a massive bonus for both of us.’

  ‘The job’s not set in stone,’ James warned him. ‘But we already need more consultant cover than we have at the moment, so I might be able to do something anyway. Would that tempt you enough?’

  * * *

  It would, he realised. It did.

  He turned to Kate, searching her face. ‘How would you feel about that?’

  ‘Staying here, near my friends?’ Her face seemed to light up from within, and he felt a pang of guilt that he’d even contemplated taking her away from them. ‘It would be amazing. I really don’t want to leave—’

  ‘It’s not a firm job offer,’ James reminded them. ‘Not yet, anyway, and you’d have to be interviewed, of course, but getting people of your calibre is extremely hard so there’s a definite possibility I could talk the board into offering you a full-time senior consultant’s post, especially if Annie does leave. Just bear it in mind.’

  He nodded, his heart suddenly beating a little faster, the prospect more appealing than he could possibly have imagined. To be here, near his own friends, near the sea...

  ‘Leaving that on one side for a moment, it’s high time we said congratulations about the baby. I know it won’t be easy, but you’re both determined enough to make this work. I hope you’ll be very happy together.’

  Sam swallowed hard, trying desperately not to think of the last time he’d heard those words—his engagement to Kerry.

  ‘Thanks,’ he said gruffly. ‘We’ll give it our best shot.’

  He put his arm round Kate, hugged her to his side and dropped a kiss on her cheek. She smiled, curled her fingers over his jaw and kissed him back, and her warmth flowed into him, easing the sadness.

  Maybe it will work, he thought. Maybe...

  ‘So, having got that out of the way, what was it you two wanted to talk to me about?’

  James gave a slightly awkward laugh, and met Connie’s eyes.

  ‘You, or me?’

  ‘It’s the boat, Sam,’ Connie said tentatively.

  He sighed. ‘I thought as much.’

  ‘I know it’s not a good time to hassle you,’ James cut in, taking over, ‘but we need to move fast on this, if we want the house we saw yesterday. They’ve had other offers, lower ones, but we’re not in a strong position unless we’ve got a buyer, and we don’t need anything that’s going to put someone off, and we’re very afraid the boat will.’

  Sam nodded slowly. ‘Look, I’ll talk to the guy in the boatyard about moving it. How long have I got?’

  James sighed. ‘Someone wants to view it tomorrow. They haven’t even seen the details, but the agent sounded them out and they seem keen. And we know you can’t move it by then, but if we could
at least tell them it was going...?’

  ‘Or you could always buy the house yourself, Sam,’ Connie said with a laugh. ‘That would solve it at a stroke.’

  There was a stunned silence, and he turned and looked at Kate. ‘Fancy living here?’

  He saw her jaw sag slightly.

  ‘I think Connie’s joking,’ she said, before he could talk himself into it. ‘And anyway, you haven’t got a job yet.’

  ‘I was joking,’ Connie chipped in. ‘Seriously, I don’t expect you to buy the house, Sam. That would be crazy!’

  He gave a wry smile and sat back. ‘Yeah, you’re probably right,’ he murmured, and mentally put the idea on the back burner. ‘So, tell us all about this new house that you want.’

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THEY LEFT A short while later, but not before Connie got in a parting shot.

  ‘Let us know how you get on with the boatyard,’ she said, a weeny bit pointedly, but Sam just grinned at her.

  ‘You’re a nag, do you know that?’

  As he slid behind the wheel and started the engine, he glanced across at Kate and said, ‘So how would you feel about living there?’

  She felt her heart lurch. ‘Really? It would be amazing, but it’s never going to happen so I don’t really want to think about it.’

  ‘What if it could happen?’

  She turned so she could see him better, but the interior light was out by then and the night closed in around them as he drove off, so her only clue was his voice.

  And that was giving nothing away.

  ‘How? Where are you going to find the money? Because I haven’t got any—well, not that would make any difference.’

  ‘I’ve got a house. Kerry and I bought it, but we never lived in it. We were going to move in after the wedding, but—whatever, it was furnished, ready to go, so I just contacted a letting agent. I’m sure he could sell it for me.’

  ‘You can’t do that!’ she said, shocked that he would even consider it when it had so much meaning for him, but he just shrugged.