These Paper Walls

by Magan Vernon

  I strummed the last few chords and sang, "You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town."

  I set down my guitar and leaned over, kissing Libby's forehead, then kissed her stomach softly. "Goodnight, Mathieu. I can't wait to meet you, but you can stay in there as long as you need to."

  Libby was the first girl I'd brought home to meet my parents.

  I guess technically it was Julie, but they already knew her from us growing up together.

  To say I was nervous was an understatement.

  Libby had been moody the past few days, ignoring me with dumb excuses. It made me think she really didn't want to meet my parents. Maybe she didn't think I was good enough for her and I was just the Southern boy that was taking her mind off of things.

  The moment I saw her in her room, laughing with that tight purple dress, I couldn't help but smile. She was too damn pretty for her own good and I knew I was falling way too hard for her.

  We pulled up to my parents' house and I could already see Abby staring out the window. I knew it would only be a few minutes before the little girl ran out. She would probably be followed by Meg and Alicia, my too-crazy-for-their-own-good sisters. Damn, I was nervous. This prim and proper city girl was going to meet my family. The ones who didn't have any chairs or plates that matched and liked to yell in the middle of dinner.

  "Do you think they're actually going to like me?"

  I glanced over at Libby, raising an eyebrow. I wasn't expecting those to be the words that came out of her mouth. I didn't think she'd be the one who was nervous. Was this why she was being so cold? "Do you think you're going to stop ignoring me like you have been?"

  She turned toward me, tilting her head slightly which just made her even more adorable. "What?"

  "Libby, you've been ignoring me for days now, with the lamest excuses. Headaches, Jeopardy, and I just want to know what's going on." I cupped her face in my hands and pulled her closer. The smell of her shampoo and perfume surrounded me, she always smelled amazing and it was hard for me to think of anything, let alone keep myself from getting turned on, but I had to focus. I couldn't keep doing this if it was just her summer fling.

  "If you are going to break up with me, please just tell me now, so I don't have to introduce you to my parents. Then have my crazy sister, Meg, try and put a curse on you or something."

  She giggled, but I kept my focus on her. "I’m serious, Libby."

  "Well, are you breaking up with me?" Her eyes softened

  "What? Libby why would you even think that? You know I'm crazy about you." I blinked hard and put my hands down, unbuckling my seatbelt so I could get closer to her. I didn't know what was going on through her pretty little head. Did she think I was some manwhore? She'd told me about her ex cheating and I didn't want her to think the same of me.

  "Yeah, but how many other girls have you told that to? I mean, UGH. I don’t know what to think! I think I probably think too much." She slumped down, putting her head in her hands.

  "Libby." I tugged on her waist and pulled her closer to me, tilting her chin up so those chocolate brown eyes met mine. "Look, I care about you, and just stop thinking about your ex. I'm not like him. The past is all you have with him, and the past, is the past the future is now."

  She smiled. "Did you just quote Christopher Walken?"

  "Yes. Yes I did. Does it do anything for you?" I pressed my forehead to hers.

  "Oh yeah." She leaned into kiss me lightly, but I took that chance to pull her closer and when she parted her lips, letting her tongue meet mine, I couldn't help but smile under the kiss. This girl was definitely something and I intended to keep her around.

  Shortly after, of course, my niece interrupted our kiss and it was time to meet my family.

  I tried not to cringe when Meg hugged her way too tight and when Mom and Meg laughed at Libby for practically throwing the pie at them that Dee made.

  When Mom suggested that I show Libby around, I let out a sigh of relief. It would be good to give her a tiny break from the family.

  I didn't want to think about what was going through her head as she saw my parents' tiny house. I just kept talking it up like it was the greatest place ever. Maybe she didn't see it, but I saw years of memories. The house that built me.

  I led her up to my bedroom, which was originally the attic that Dad and I had refinished. I had a real sense of pride in my first big carpentry project. Her eyes roamed around the wooden planks and I saw her wince when she had to duck in some areas. But I did find her staring longingly at the bed before she picked up the picture I had on my nightstand.

  It was my favorite picture of us. It may not have been the best. Her face was scrunched as she laughed and mine was all puckered up from kissing her forehead. But I liked it. It showed both our personalities. Maybe it was cheesy to frame it.

  Shit. Maybe I should have removed it.

  "Really Blaine?" She leaned against the dresser across from my bed. "Out of all the pictures we have from my phone and that I put on Facebook, and you picked this one?"

  I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant and not act like I spent hours looking through Facebook and then sent it to Wal-Mart to get printed. "I like that one."

  She rolled her eyes, but then stopped and set down the picture. She walked over to the corner, picking up my guitar before she spun toward me. "Do you actually play?"

  I grinned, slowly walking toward her. Dad had started me playing when I was just a little thing, sitting on the front porch, strumming the chords to "Smoke on the water". "Of course I play. Did you think I just keep it around for decoration?"

  "How about you play me something then?" She raised her eyebrows and that smile broadened.

  "Well...Then I'd have to take it from you." I took the guitar and slung the strap over my shoulders.

  "I don’t mind." She sat down on my bed, the hem of her skirt inching up to show off those long, tanned legs. Damn if it wasn't the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.

  "Well what do you want to hear?" I had to swallow hard and readjust myself under the guitar before I walked over and sat down next to her.

  "Surprise me." She leaned back so she was propped up on her elbows, giving me an even better view of those legs. My eyes followed up her dress until I was at her smile, then staring into those chocolate brown eyes.

  Before I even knew what I was doing, I was strumming along and singing "Brown Eyed Girl." Her eyes widened before she smiled, tapping her foot along to the song.

  I liked singing and playing guitar, but watching Libby actually enjoy it, made me love it even more.

  When the song was done, I leaned forward and whispered, "You are my brown eyed girl."

  Then I kissed her. I wanted all of her on my bed right then and there. I had to stop briefly just to put my guitar down, but then I was right back to her lips.

  Her fingers trailed down my stomach and soon, they were pulling my belt through the loops.

  I wanted her. I wanted her so damn bad, but I had to stop. For one, I wasn't about to do it with my parents right downstairs. And for two, she meant more to me than a random conquest. If I gave in now, all it would be was sex. I didn't want that for either of us.

  I pulled away and sat up. A few more seconds and I knew I'd give in.

  Of course this pissed her off and she laid on the bed, letting out a deep breath and yelling "ugh!" Dammit if that didn't make it worse with her skirt going up those thighs, giving me a peek at her lacy pink panties.

  "I don't think we are ever going to do anything!" She put her hands over her eyes and sighed. "You know, for being this big playboy that everyone talked about, you sure are acting like Hugh Hefner without any Viagra."

  I crawled next to her then hovered over her, trying not to press myself against her or she'd know how turned on I was and I'd be a goner. "Libby, I couldn't be more attracted to you."

  "Then why haven't you even tried anything more than making out with me?" She pouted out that bottom lip and I just wanted to kiss her.r />
  "Libby... You're not like other girls I've dated. I want more than just to screw you. And believe me I do want to do that, BAD." I kissed a trail down her neck and collarbone until I was kneeling on the floor between her legs and kissing a line up her thighs, her body quivering beneath my lips.

  She looked down at me through hooded lashes, "You don't have another girl on the side."

  "Libby, baby, I don't think I could ever have another girl besides you."

  Chapter 15

  Bed rest for Libby was hard on all of us.

  Or maybe it was just me.

  She was able to work from home a bit on her computer, but that didn't stop her from being bored.

  And when she was bored, she did online shopping.

  I guess not all of it was bad, she did get us a sectional couch with recliners for a steal, but now she spent most of her time on the recliner, surfing the Internet for more deals.

  I sat down next to her on the new couch. It still smelled like new, clean fabric.

  "Working hard, baby?"

  I just got off working down on Main Street. It was seriously a lot of piddly stuff. I would have complained about it, but I was still getting paid, and I was able to get off in time to spend the late afternoon with Libby without a long drive.

  I stared at her computer screen where one of those baby boutiques was pulled up.

  "Do you really think that Mathieu needs more clothes? Didn't I just put away an entire dresser full?" I raised my eyebrows.

  "But now that we have the extra money and there is a sale...I thought we could get him ready for next season." She bit down on her bottom lip, keeping her eyes on the computer screen.

  I shook my head and set her computer down on the coffee table. Another new purchase online, that I had to put together.

  "Baby, I know we got the loan from your parents, but we can't keep spending all of this money all willy nilly."

  She laughed and shook her head. "Who the hell says willy nilly?"

  I stared at her, not breaking my glare. "Don't change the subject."

  She narrowed her eyes. "Geez, way to be a dick."

  "Now, baby, don't be like that. I'm trying. I'm trying real hard to support us, and it sucks that I had to get this loan, but I plan on paying every penny back to your dad, and I can't do that if we're spending everything in our account."

  She blew out a big puff of air but said nothing.

  "Hey..." I tilted her chin, forcing her eyes to mine. "Look, I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm really not. I just really want to be able to do this. Your dad put a lot of money in our account, more than I could ever dream of having. I took a big pay cut by leaving the New Orleans job, but I did it for our family and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I just...I don't want this all to be for nothing."

  She tilted her head slightly. "Do you think I don't appreciate all that you're doing?"

  I shrugged, leaning back. "Sometimes. I know I sound like a girl and all, but yeah. I work my ass off every day and I've been coming home to more furniture on our porch or you sleeping. I know, I need to get over it. You're carrying my baby and you're on bed rest, but it still gets to me."

  She smiled softly and put her hand on mine. "I'm sorry, Blaine. I do appreciate you working so hard. I guess I just got carried away now that we had money again."

  She sighed. "But, really, I guess money isn't everything. Sometimes I forget that. I grew up never wanting for anything, never knowing struggle. It shaped me into something I didn't like. A spoiled princess that I was when I first moved her...but I think meeting you helped to change that."

  "You weren't a spoiled princess, baby. Maybe a little high and mighty, but not a spoiled princess."

  She laughed. "Don't try and get on my good side. Your damage is already done."

  I put my hands up. "Hey, now, I'm just being honest."

  She sighed. "And I guess I've been acting like that high and mighty princess again lately. I'll blame the hormones and our bank account. I'll keep it in check from now on, okay?"

  I smiled, shaking my head. "Not sure I believe you, but you can try."

  "Okay, fine, I'll try. Is that better?"

  I leaned in and kissed her lightly. "Trying is all I can ask for."

  Me: Kristi, I know you don't know me from Adam, but this is Blaine Crabtree. Libby's boyfriend, or possibly ex-boyfriend. Look, I know it's your wedding and you probably hate me and all, but I want to make everything up to Libby and I need your help.

  I stared at the computer screen before I clicked 'send' and sent the message.

  It was the only life line I had. I had to try and make things right. After the phone call from Libby and hearing her words, I knew I had to. Her voice was so hurt. So painful. I wanted to do anything I could to make it better.

  Just telling her I loved her over the phone wasn't going to cut it. I had to show her.

  "I may be angry. I may be hurt. But, undeniably I am still in love."

  Those words haunted my dreams and I couldn't sleep, so I sent the message to Kristi and prayed.

  I half-way didn't expect a response, and half-way expected if there was one, then she'd be swearing at me.

  But just like that, she messaged me back.

  Kristi: Your plans better involve a lot of roses and groveling.

  I shook my head and smiled for the first time all day.

  Me: Maybe. I also think I need to get my way to Chicago. I've never actually flown before and have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

  It took a while before Kristi messaged me back and when she did it was a bunch of different links.

  Me: What the hell are all of these for?

  Kristi: Don't get sassy. These are sites to book plane tickets and rental cars. It won't be cheap, I can tell you that much, since it's only a few days away. I really hope you can pull this off. I'm actually rooting for you.

  Me: What does that mean?

  Kristi: It means you need to get your ass on a plane and make my little sister feel better.

  I cringed, pulling out my debit card and booking the flight and car rental. I hadn't spent that much money since I bought my truck.

  I wouldn't have had to spend the money if I wasn't a dick and just went with Libby in the first place, but now I was really going to do this. I was going to make the biggest step I'd made in my life at that point.

  I clicked okay and bought the tickets, praying that she'd still have me.

  ***

  The flight to Chicago was my first flight ever. I never had the need to go anywhere. We didn't do much for vacation other than go to the coast, and one time to Texas for the rodeo. Mom and Dad weren't exactly wealthy and three kids were expensive.

  The piece of paper was burning a hole in my suit pocket. If just offering Libby to come back with my love didn't work, I had another plan.

  It was selfish, sure. She probably wanted to get back to her college in Illinois, but I had to give it a shot. Her parents probably already hated the boy that broke her heart and one little piece of paper wasn't going to make it better. But I'd done my research. I'd looked up all that I could about her credits transferring to St. Joseph Community College and what the drive would be like. I'd done so much damn research I thought about going there myself.

  But not now. This wasn't my time. This was hers.

  I watched the Chicago skyline come into view and sucked in a deep breath. Even from a distance, it exuded all the things I didn't have: class, structure, and wealth. Seeing it made me wonder if I was still doing the right thing. Maybe Libby was already ready to move on and realize that she was just slumming it with me.

  I prayed hard that she hadn't.

  I had to catch a later flight, so I missed the wedding completely. I had to haul ass, changing into my suit and getting into the tiny rental car to make it the hour out to the suburbs.

  The resort on Lake Michigan looked like something out of a magazine with its pretty brick exterior and large white columns. That wasn't half as nice as the moo
nlit path that trailed out to the beach where tiny, twinkling lights hung above a crowd of people.

  I put my hands in my pockets, sauntering down the path and trying to act casual, but I was sweating bullets.

  What the hell was I doing?

  I didn't have any sort of plan or even know if I was at the right wedding. I could have walked in just to have someone escort me out, or worse, see Libby in the arms of another man.

  I turned to leave, ready to go back to the rental car and just text Libby, but a hand caught my elbow. I turned around to see a small redhead wearing a very poufy white dress. "Blaine?"

  I nodded. "You must be Kristi?"

  She smiled. "Well, I'm glad you showed up, cowboy, someone has been waiting for you."

  I looked behind her, scanning the crowd, but I didn't see Libby.

  She crooked her finger. "Follow me."

  I walked past the staring and whispering crowd and followed Kristi down to the beach. That was when I saw her. Libby was sitting alone, the moonlight casting shadows on her long blonde hair. I couldn't see her face and I knew as soon as I did, I'd be a goner.

  Even if she turned me down. Even if she never wanted to see me again, I had to tell her that I loved her. That she meant more to me than a summer fling. That Libby Gentry was my forever and I wasn't going to run away ever again.

  Chapter 16

  The weeks felt like they were taking eternity. All I did was work and come home and take care of the house and Libby. It was exhausting, not to mention, with bed rest, we also weren't allowed any kind of intimacy. Nothing. I thought maybe I could get a little action below my belt, but Libby would just whine about how uncomfortable she was and that was an instant mood killer