Go Forward Slowly

by Whitney Cannon

  Patton had been shocked when they’d stopped by his mom’s place to tell them about their new relationship and Wesley had struck up a conversation with Gary about trucks and cars. He’d later said that he and his own dad, Stan, talked a lot about his dad’s truck and trailer that he drove for work, and those conversations often led to talk about other cars and engines that Wesley had little to no interest in, but they gave he and his dad something to talk about that wasn’t related to fishing.

  Patton had kissed him and Wesley had laughed, saying it was no big deal to talk shop with Gary. Patton disagreed since he and Gary had never really had a common ground other than the occasional talk about his boat motors and tweaks he could make to them. It had been such a relief for Patton to know that first he, and then his boyfriend were accepted by his family and that even though things might be slightly awkward, everyone could get along.

  Rose and Lily loved Wesley almost as much as Taylor and Tallie did and they never once questioned why Patton would want to date him. They didn’t seem to think anything of the fact that Patton and Wesley held hands or kissed when they found a quiet moment to be alone.

  Grace and Gary’s family hadn’t adopted his eating plan in quite the same way as his dad and Tiffani had, but they still tried to accommodate him and Wesley when they visited and Patton had taken to bringing Rose, Lily, Taylor, and Tallie with him and Wesley when they walked around Round Lake after dinner a few nights a week. The girls always loved looking for treasure or trash, and usually, each one came home with at least one “amazing” rock that they just couldn’t live without. Plus, Wes was so good with the girls and Patton loved to watch him goof off and be silly.

  “I bet if we tell the girls our new couple name, they’ll bedazzle us a sign or something that we could put up on my bedroom door,” Patton said as they moved down the aisle looking for coats.

  Wes chuckled. “Probably. What about this one?” he asked, holding up a coat that was way too wide. “Nevermind. Thought it was pretty long but definitely way too wide for me. You see anything that might work for you?”

  “Nah. I’m kind of done shopping for a while. I’d rather just head home and put on a movie or something. I’m glad that fall is finally here and all, but the rain is kind of depressing. You ready to head out?” Patton asked, pushing their cart along behind Wesley.

  “Sure. We can try someplace else another day. We got a good start and I already have enough makeup that even if we didn’t find coats, we’d probably be fine. Do you want to stop at a Redbox or just use Netflix?” Wesley asked as they got in line to check out.

  “Netflix and chill sounds good to me,” Patton whispered into Wesley’s ear from behind him as they waited for their turn.

  Wesley shot him a look and Patton wondered if they wouldn’t be watching their movie alone in his bedroom.

  They hadn’t done much of any fooling around over the last two weeks and even though the thought of going there with Wesley made his stomach flutter, he knew things were definitely headed in that direction. He’d done plenty of his own fantasizing about what that might be like that he’d gone through an entire box of tissues, but to actually take that step and maybe even take his shirt off in front of Wesley left him feeling a bit uneasy.

  It only took them a few more minutes to check out and they were on their way back to his place. Wesley had grabbed his hand and was holding it in his lap as Patton drove, and when he parked in his driveway ten minutes later, neither of them moved to get out.

  The steady drizzle coming down left a spotted view on his windshield, providing a sort of buffer from the world that left Patton with a sense of solitude. He and Wesley were quietly secluded in their little bubble.

  “What are you thinking?” Patton asked quietly as they sat in silence, staring out into the wet world beyond. Wesley turned his head and his thumb started a back and forth slide along the back of Patton’s hand.

  “I was thinking about Netflix and chill,” Wesley answered, keeping his eyes trained on Patton’s.

  Patton hummed. “What about it?”

  Wesley looked away. “We haven’t really done anything like that yet,” he said quietly.

  “Not really, no. It doesn’t have to be anything. I didn’t really mean that we needed to do anything. I was just done shopping and wanted to be alone with you. I feel like we’re always off with someone or doing something. The weather just makes me sleepy, and I wanted to cuddle with you.”

  Wesley was nodding as he looked back. “I know what you mean, but are we ready for more? Do you feel ready for more?”

  Patton shrugged. “I know I’ve definitely thought about it, and my right hand is going to end up with carpal tunnel,” he joked. “But I’m not sure how I’d feel about taking my shirt off. I know you’ve probably seen me in PE, and so has everyone else, but it’d be different if it was just us and we were, you know…” Patton waved vaguely. Wesley nodded. “What about you? What do you think or feel?”

  “Pretty much the same I guess. I’ve definitely thought about it. A lot. I feel like we’d be okay though. Lord knows we’ve done enough kissing, but we haven’t really done much touching. I know you’ve seen me with my shirt off because I’ve caught you looking away so you wouldn’t get caught.” Patton blushed at being called out. “I am a little self-conscious about how skinny I am, but I’m not sure I would let that stop me from doing more if we wanted to.”

  Patton watched Wesley talk then looked off out to the lake as the rain continued its steady beat. He’d lost over twenty pounds since he’d started his new way of eating and exercising. Did he really feel like he looked good enough to expose himself to Wesley in an intimate way? What would Wesley think if he saw him up close like that?

  “Your turn. What are you thinking now?” Wesley asked gently squeezing Patton’s hand.

  “I was wondering what you’d think of me if you saw me with my shirt off,” Patton admitted quietly. He didn’t look at Wesley but could feel the other boy’s eyes on him.

  Wesley lifted his hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “Patton,” Wes said and waited until he finally looked over. “You already know how much I like you. You know that I think you’re one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. You know that I already think you’re sexy and cute and that I love your body. Why would me seeing you that way make me think anything less about you?”

  Patton didn’t answer and they sat in silence for a few moments with Wesley watching him. He knew he was probably being unreasonable by having these insecurities. Wesley had been pretty forthcoming about just how much he liked Patton, but years of self-doubt about being overweight and the shame that was associated with it were not easy things to set aside in a few weeks. Just because he finally had a boyfriend didn’t mean his state of mind had changed with his relationship status.

  “How about we take it slow?” Wesley said, interrupting Patton’s inner turmoil. “Would you be okay with the lights turned off? If we waited until it was dark and we couldn’t see each other? I know that might make me feel a little less embarrassed about things.”

  Patton glanced over at him and one corner of his mouth hitched up.

  “I don’t like seeing you so unsure about this,” Wesley continued. “You’re usually so full of confidence and taking the world by storm. Singing in a parking lot with your friends, building a boat from scratch, changing the way you eat and cooking for yourself to make your goals more attainable. You’re not shy or uncertain. I realize this is a little different but it’s me, sweet pea. I already think the world of you and seeing you with your shirt off is only going to turn me on more. I’m practically half-hard around you most of the time anyway.”

  Patton smirked and squeezed Wesley’s hand.

  “What do you say? Let’s go watch a movie and have some dinner, then later, we can go for a walk, and once it’s dark, we can hang out in your room and see what happens. Or we could go to my place since it’s a little quieter. I don’t want you to feel like anythin
g has to happen though. If one of us in uncomfortable about anything then we shouldn’t do it. And maybe we’re not ready for more. It’s only been a couple of weeks. As much as I love the idea of getting off with you, getting off with you might be a whole other ball game.”

  Patton chuckled quietly and pulled Wesley into a sweet kiss over the center console. “Thank you. You always know what to say to me.”

  Wesley nodded and came back for seconds that were seriously testing Patton’s resolve. When they finally pulled back and stared at each other a little breathlessly, they laughed and Patton cupped Wesley’s cheek. He pressed one final kiss to his lips, and they made a mad dash to the front door with their shopping bags in tow.

  — — —

  After watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and having a dinner of broiled salmon and roasted cauliflower, Patton and Wesley spent an hour working in the boathouse. The entire floor was stitched together and Patton was almost finished with stitching in the braces. His fingers were sore every time he worked on the thing because of all the wire twisting, but he knew it was only temporary, and the end result would be worth every minute he’d spent making it. Wesley had been a big help too. At the rate they were going, Patton would be finished well before his deadline of next spring.

  The sun had set and the rain had quit even before they’d eaten dinner, but they called it a day and walked hand-in-hand around the lake anyway. They had a few spots they especially loved and each pulled out their phones attempting to take some well-used selfies. Patton definitely looked at those photos often.

  It was pitch black out when they made it back to the house and the sounds of the lake played a tranquil melody as Patton lit the fire pit and they simply curled up together with a blanket on the deck. The upstairs lights were still on since it was the weekend, but Patton tried not to think about what might lie ahead for them if they should head up to his bedroom. His mind had been running all evening, and he was exhausted just worrying about everything. He knew Wesley wouldn’t judge him and had proved so many times that he liked Patton, regardless of what he looked like. So, he was going to try to play things cool and let whatever was going to happen, happen. Besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t interested in getting his hands all over Wesley, so why wouldn’t Wesley want to get his hands all over him as well?

  It seemed Mother Nature felt the need to meddle a little, and the skies opened up with a nice steady rain that had pretty well soaked them by the time they’d scrambled up and turned off the fire pit. They burst in the back door laughing and no sooner than they’d crossed the threshold, the first clap of thunder rent the air followed belatedly by a crack of lightning. They distantly heard the girls squeal upstairs and the sound of running feet pounded down the hallway, but Patton took in Wesley’s dripping locks and smiling face and kissed his guy right there on the spot.

  Wesley made an appreciative sound and wrapped his arms around Patton’s back, bringing them closer together. Their wet shirts clung to their bodies and water dripped from their hair, running down the sides of their faces, but Patton felt warm and secure in Wesley’s arms as the storm started in earnest outside.

  Not wanting to break their kiss, but realizing it would be necessary to make it up to his room, Patton moved his lips to Wesley’s ear and said, “Let’s head upstairs.”

  Wesley made some sound in his throat and pulled Patton tighter against him, breathing hard in his ear. He could feel Wesley hardening against him through his wet pants and Wesley slid his hands down Patton’s back to grip his butt, grinding them together.

  They both sucked in ragged amounts of air, and Patton couldn’t help but thrust his hips forward, seeking more of what Wesley was offering.

  A huge clap of thunder followed immediately by a bolt of lightning managed to catch their attention, and Patton grabbed Wesley’s hand, practically dragging him through the kitchen and up the stairs. They hurriedly made their way down the hall, and Patton gently shut and locked his bedroom door, though he didn’t think they could be heard over the wind and pounding rain. His heart was racing a mile a minute, and he barely had time to turn around before Wesley was all over him again.

  He gripped Patton’s face and pulled him close, running his fingers through Patton’s longer strands. Water dripped down the sides of his face and landed on his shoulders as he pulled Wesley closer, sneaking his hands up under the hem of his wet T-shirt. Wesley shivered and before Patton knew it, he pulled back and shucked his shirt like it had burned him.

  Patton hesitated for a few moments, but as he stared at Wesley’s figure in admiration, he gripped the hem of his shirt and lifted it, silently reciprocating Wesley’s gesture. He was showing the other boy his absolute trust and baring himself for his boyfriend to see.

  It was dark in his room, the only glow coming from his clock, but the occasional flash of lightning afforded him all he needed to want to reach out and touch. Wesley was beautiful. Patton had seen him before but only in fleeting glances and glimpses when he wasn’t trying to be caught. This was different. This was them in private looking all they wanted. And Patton wanted to do more than just look.

  He reached out and placed his hand on the side of Wesley’s neck and Wesley mirrored his action. “You’re so… God, you’re so beautiful,” Patton praised, looking right into Wesley’s eyes. He smiled and dipped his head slightly to press a soft kiss to Patton’s lips.

  “So are you, sweet pea.” Patton didn’t say anything. “I know you’re probably arguing with me in your head right now but you are. You’re tall and have these amazing shoulders and chest. It’s not going to be very long before all these muscles start to pop out and then I’m going to have to fight all the other boys off with a stick.”

  Patton smirked. That would never happen. It would be the other way around. Wesley would pack on a few pounds and his lean, toned body would be the object of many boys fantasies.

  Wesley tipped Patton’s face up so their eyes met again. “Stop. It’s not worth the effort or the distraction. Focus on you and me and what’s happening between us right now. I know as my first time being with you this way, I’d rather have your attention on me than on all the negative things running through your head. You know that I like the way you look otherwise we wouldn’t be dating, so let everything else go and be here now, okay? My skinny ass isn’t much to look at but it’s yours and you seem to like it, so I’m okay showing it to you. You can clearly see that I like your ass just the way it is, so if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to touch it now.” Wesley winked and Patton chuckled.

  He nodded and Wesley tugged him forward, bringing their bodies flush as he wrapped his long arms around Patton’s shoulders. Wesley’s skin was warm and soft and he shivered at the sensation against his own rain-chilled skin.

  Neither of them moved for almost a minute as they just held each other and reveled in their first skin-to-skin contact. With Wesley being only a couple of inches taller than Patton, they lined up almost perfectly and as Wesley’s hands started a gentle up and down stroke along his back, Patton felt Wesley’s body react through his pants. He knew he was in about the same state and he moved his hands to either side of Wesley’s ribcage and pulled back to kiss him tenderly on the lips.

  They’d practically devoured each other over the last two weeks, but this time was different. This time was about their connection and the feeling of the other boy in their arms. They were exploring each other in a new way, and it made their kissing all the more potent.

  Neither of them could seem to keep their hands still as they touched and soothed, smoothly gliding across warm skin to learn the shape and texture of their partner. Patton ran his hands up along Wesley’s ribs, over his nipples and did a mental fist pump when they hardened under his touch. Tongues lapped languidly as Wesley slid his hands from Patton’s shoulders down his back and snuck one into the waistband of his soggy jeans, kneading the flesh under his fingers. His other hand came back up along Patton’s right arm and ran itself aground in his
hair as he pulled Patton closer still.

  Patton’s hands shifted of their own accord and mimicked Wesley’s as they found their way toward his hips and farther on to grip his butt in both hands. The sound Wesley made was just audible above the rain and wind and Patton felt the rumble of it though their chests as he ground them together. Their nipples were almost at equal heights and as they pressed together, they rubbed along the smattering of hair they each bore, creating a sensation Patton had never experienced before. His nipples felt just as hard as other parts of him and the friction of both his chest and groin felt absolutely incomprehensible.

  Wesley must have been feeling something similar because he started to tremble and without so much as a breath between them, guided Patton to the bed and they somehow ended up horizontal with Wesley below him and their half-clothed bodies writhing against each other.

  The position change afforded Wesley the advantage of using both his hands, whereas Patton had to support himself on one elbow. He let his weight press down onto Wesley’s body and they both groaned as their dicks rubbed against each other behind their zippers.

  Feeling far too amazing and well past the point of self-doubt, Patton did what he felt was as natural as breathing and thrust his hips into Wesley’s. His boyfriend tore his mouth away and hugged Patton tightly across his back, panting into his ear and gasping as Patton did it again.

  The little sounds and reactions Wesley made, had Patton feeling invincible and so incredibly turned on that his brain had all but shut down and all that was left was his instinct. He rutted into Wesley like something he’d blush to think about later, but none of that mattered at that moment, only Wesley mattered and chasing that incredible feeling.

  “Oh, God. Oh, shit. Oh, God,” Wesley chanted in his ear, groaning out low moans and only a moment later, he stiffened and practically whimpered in Patton’s arms as he jerked his hips up over and over.