Go Forward Slowly

by Whitney Cannon

  Ty sniffled again and nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry to get you all involved. I didn’t mean to have you all come out here for this. I just needed Riley. But, thanks for coming anyway. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do tomorrow”—his eyes watered again and he used his sleeve to wipe his nose—“but, I guess, thanks for letting me stay over tonight.”

  They all tutted at Ty’s words and gently coaxed him up out of Patton’s lap. Patton stretched out and wrapped his left arm around Ty’s shoulders, and they all filed out of the disgusting convenience store bathroom. Tim dropped a couple of bucks on the counter for the water bottle they’d swiped and they finally left the shop, their hearts quite a bit heavier.

  “I’m going to head home and pack a bag of clothes and stuff for you, Ty. I’ll talk to my parents and see if they’ve heard anything from your dad. Wes, can you shoot me Patton’s address so I know where I’m going?” Riley said.

  Wes nodded. “No problem. Would it be alright if I stayed too, Mr. Dean? I think we’d all feel better being together after everything that’s happened tonight.”

  “It’s fine with me, but check with your mom, Wes. I think it’s a good idea if you boys stay together tonight as well. You’ll all feel better if you’re in the same space. You’re all going to need to sleep in the den, and you can use the pullout sofa in there. We have an inflatable camping mattress that you guys can use too, so I’ll grab that out of the garage. Did you have dinner, Ty? I can call in an order for some pizza and have it delivered if you’d like.”

  Ty ducked his head and mumbled, “I already ate. I don’t want to be any trouble, but thank you for the offer.”

  Patton shared a look with his dad and Tim nodded.

  “Alright, boys. Let’s get out of this cold and get you home, Ty. We’ll see you in a little while, Riley, and you can all call me Tim,” he said, giving a pointed look to Wes. “Drive safe going home, everyone. Ty’s safe and there’s no need to rush now on these icy roads.”

  Tim hugged his son, then pulled Wes in for another hug as well. Riley hugged Ty and they exchanged a few quiet words.

  Once they’d all piled into their cars, with Patton sitting in the backseat with Ty, Wes pulled out his phone and called his mom. After a brief explanation and reassurance that Ty was fine, she gave her approval for Wes to stay the night at Patton’s and he headed toward his place so he could pack a quick overnight bag.

  Wes had definitely never figured the first night he would get to fall asleep with Patton in his arms would be under such shitty circumstances or that he’d be sharing the same room with two of his good friends. But Ty needed them there with him, and there was nothing that was going to stop them from being there for him as well.

  Chapter 15

  Waking up with Wes on the blowup mattress in their den was not as nice as it should have been. Even with the twinkling Christmas lights and stockings hanging from the mantle above the fireplace, the entire reason they were sharing a bed in the first place put a huge damper on any kind of special mood.

  After they’d gotten home last night, Riley and his parents had come over. Donald and Maria had wanted to see Ty to make sure he was alright and apologize to him for how his parents had treated him. They’d only stayed for a little while, telling Ty they’d figure everything out in the morning and not to worry. They’d hugged the boys good night and once they’d gone, Patton and his friends had scarfed down almost two entire pizzas that his dad had ordered and crashed.

  Riley and Ty had taken the sofa bed and Wes and Patton had shared the blowup mattress. It had been awkward, to say the least. Not only was the blowup mattress loud and squeaky any time they moved, but it just hadn’t been the best place to sleep with your boyfriend for the first time.

  Patton wasn’t going to complain too much though about being able to have his boyfriend stay the night with him. Being able to hold Wes or touch him any time he wanted was a vast improvement over them always having to say goodbye to each other on the street. He was more than okay sharing a blowup mattress on the floor of their den if it meant Wes being able to fall asleep in his arms.

  The mattress shifted as Wes rolled toward him and he pulled Patton closer. “Good morning, baby.” Wes wrapped Patton up in a hug then pressed a kiss to his lips. “It’s kind of weird waking up next to you.” He shifted around a little bit then laughed quietly. “Though, it might be nicer if the bed were a little quieter.”

  Patton smiled and kissed him again. “It was nice having you here though. I wish the circumstances were better, but I’m not complaining.”

  They snuggled together under their blanket and explored each other a little bit since neither of them were wearing their shirts, but they tried to be quiet since they didn’t want to wake the others. It was still early and they’d all had a stressful night.

  “Any idea what started all this last night?” Patton asked after they’d been properly reacquainted. He shifted a little so Wes’s head was pillowed on his shoulder.

  “I have my suspicions,” Wes replied, rubbing his hand up and down Patton’s arm.

  Patton nodded. He did too but was desperately hoping he was wrong. “You think Ty’s dad found out that he’s gay?”

  Wes’s eyes widened as he inched back to look at Patton. “You knew?”

  “No. Not for sure. But I wouldn’t be surprised. I’ve wondered about it for a while, but I couldn’t even imagine what Ty must have been going through trying to keep that from his parents. It’s hard enough discovering that about yourself with a support system you know will be accepting but trying to hide it and keep it from the people you live with? Especially knowing how they’re likely to react? That’s gotta suck any way you look at it.”

  Wes nodded. “No kidding. My mom knew I was gay before I did. So you think his parents found out because of something he was looking at online?”

  “That’s what he made it sound like. I hate to press him for answers, but we’re going to need to know how to help and what to do if he really can’t go home.”

  The sound of little feet and the clanking of the silverware drawer drew their attention and after a quick last few kisses, they sat up before they were pounced on by the girls. The sofa bed creaked and Patton saw Riley rubbing his eyes. Ty was still passed out so if they could all head off the girls, maybe they could let him sleep a bit more before all the Q & A started.

  Patton nudged Wes and nicked his chin out toward the kitchen. He nodded and they tapped Riley, holding a finger to their lips. Riley glanced at Ty and nodded. They all made their way past the stairs and around to the kitchen.

  “Morning, boys,” Tim said as he mixed up a huge bowl of scrambled eggs. “Everyone sleep okay?” They all nodded and Patton grabbed the juice for Riley. “Ty still asleep?”

  “Yeah. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow last night,” Riley said. “Thanks again for letting us crash here. Hopefully today we can get some answers and maybe Ty can just come home with me.”

  “You’re welcome, Riley. And there’s no rush. Once we know a little more about what we’re dealing with, I’ll go on down to Ty’s place and see if I can talk to his folks. If they need some time to cool off or we need to sit down and talk things out, we can do that over time. Ty’s welcome here as long as he needs a place to stay,” Tim said.

  Patton went over and side-hugged his dad. “Thanks, Dad. I know we kind of ran out of here last night and had no idea what to expect, but thanks for your help and letting everyone stay over.”

  Tim pressed a kiss to Patton’s head. “You know it’s no problem, Patty. We’re always going to make sure you and your friends are okay.”

  Patton nodded again and they were all given a task to help set up for breakfast.

  Ty stumbled in just as they were serving up the sliced apples and grapes and everyone quickly greeted him with hugs, checking that he was okay.

  Conversation stayed light until the girls and Tiffani excused themselves to get ready for the day and that was when the tou
gh questions were brought out in full force.

  “Alright, Ty. I hate to put you on the spot again, but I think it’s time we talked a little more about what happened yesterday,” said Tim as he pushed his chair back to be a little more comfortable at the table.

  Patton looked at Ty and saw him swallow, but he nodded and looked down at the table. Reaching over, Patton took his hand and gave it a squeeze. Ty glanced at him and gave a tentative smile then took a deep breath and began. “Um, I guess the most obvious place to start is to let you all know that… I’m gay,” he said quietly but wouldn’t meet anyone's eyes.

  Patton’s wasn’t the only chair to scrape across the floor as they all stood immediately and surrounded Ty, pulling him up and hugging the life out of him. They each took their turn soothing him and reassuring him. Ty broke into tears as everyone told him over and over that they loved him and that he was normal and that they accepted him for who he was and that he didn’t have to worry about hiding himself anymore. Patton and Wes shared their stories of coming out, and Tim weighed in as well from his point of view as a parent.

  It wasn’t until about half an hour later that they finally regrouped and Ty was able to tell them the rest of his story.

  “So obviously I was looking at different websites and watching YouTube videos of people coming out and whatever, but I’ve always been ridiculously cautious and paranoid about when I’m on, where I go, clearing any cookies and caches, and always clearing the browser history,” Ty said as he wiped his nose again.

  “Well, Mom and Dad were out to dinner, and I was home with Hailey and John. They were watching some documentary or something, and I had the computer turned away from them so they wouldn’t see what I was doing, just like I always do. I guess I got caught up in a video or something, but all of a sudden, they’re yelling and freaking out so I jump up to see what’s going on, and they’re screaming about a huge spider that was crawling across the floor. So I grab the broom and a flashlight, and I’m hunting down the spider to the point that I’m moving the furniture around because the kids are still screaming and pointing. I guess it was later than I’d realized and I’d spent too much time looking for that damn spider but in the middle of all this Mom and Dad come home. I’d instantly darted over to the computer and closed every tab but never got a chance to clear the history. I guess between the spider and rushing off to the computer, my dad thought I was acting funny and obviously figured he’d check up on me.” Ty took a despondent breath. “You know the rest.”

  Everyone sat there in complete shock.

  It was such an unremarkable story for nothing other than a laugh. Something that was so out of anyone’s control and such a minor thing. It was hard to comprehend just how such an insignificant moment in time, something as innocuous as chasing a spider for your younger siblings, could affect the rest of a person’s life. That one moment that Ty had needed to clear his tracks would now haunt him for the rest of his life.

  “I’m so sorry, Ty,” Riley said and came over to hug his cousin again.

  There wasn’t much else anyone could say and Rylie had pretty much summed it up in those four simple words.

  They spent another few minutes soothing Ty and eventually Tim called them back so they could figure out their plan to see what could be done about Ty’s situation.

  It was decided that Tim and Tiffani would go over to Riley’s house to talk with his parents and together they would go off to Ty’s. They were hoping to talk to Ty’s parents and smooth things over so he could go home, but if none of that worked and his parents wouldn’t accept him, the least they were hoping for was to get Ty’s belongings so he could move on and start again somewhere else. His clothes and shoes could be replaced but the little things that made Ty who he was would be the hardest things for him to lose.

  It was a sucky plan for a fucked-up situation. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Ty and being gay didn’t make him any less deserving of a family or love. Why would his parents love him before they went to dinner but as soon as they got home and learned about another part of their son they didn’t agree with, all of a sudden he became trash to be thrown out?

  So shitty and ignorant.

  Patton made sure to hold Wes’s hand for the rest of the conversation and when they all got up to clean up their breakfast dishes, he hugged Wes for a long moment.

  “I love you,” Wes whispered into Patton’s ear as they took a moment to themselves.

  “I love you too, baby. God, what a shitty day. Why can’t people just love their kids regardless of who they like? Why are some people so accepting and reasonable and others are just—”

  “—dicks?” Riley offered.

  “Assholes?” Ty suggested smoothly.

  “I was thinking more like, stupid fuckers,” Tim supplied and he shrugged when everyone’s eyes widened. “What? It’s not like it’s not true. As a parent, you’re supposed to love your children no matter what. Now Ty’s parents will never get to really know their son and watch him grow up. They’ll never know the man he’s going to become or be a part of whatever family he chooses to have. They’ll never know their grandkids, if you decide you want children, Ty. Because any of you can have children, Patton and Wes, any of you can have a family, whatever that looks like. And out of the eighty or so years they’ll live, they’ll only have known their own amazing child for sixteen of them. It’s an absolute waste, in my opinion.” Tim cleared his throat. “You’ll always have a home here, Ty. Any of you. Should you ever need one, we’ll be here for you, no questions asked,” Tim finished and wiped away the tear that had run down his cheek.

  Patton blinked, completely speechless, and his own tears escaped. He and Wes disentangled from their hug and found themselves quickly wrapped up in Tim’s arms, the feeling of love and security surrounding them like a warm blanket. They pulled Ty, and even Riley, into their little circle and Patton had never loved his dad more than in that moment. It was one thing to know your parents loved you, like when they said goodnight or in the morning before you went to school and everyone said “love you” so casually, but it was a whole other ballgame to feel that love and know exactly how real it was when they had your back no matter what.

  When the hug ended and they all wiped their damp eyes, Tim went upstairs to get ready so he and Tiffani could get dressed and head out.

  In the hours that passed while they waited for any news, they talked, shared stories, looked at Patton’s boat, and even took a short walk around the lake with the girls. The day was cold and the lake was slowly icing over. Fortunately for Ty, there hadn’t had much snow yet and the ground had been clear during his walk to the gas station the night before. Other than some rain that had kept things icy, they’d had a fairly mild fall, though no one had been fooled since winter was literally breathing down their necks.

  About halfway through Elf, Patton got a text from his dad saying they were all on their way home and the light-hearted atmosphere they’d slipped into, almost forgetting they weren’t all hanging out just for fun because they were friends, bled away and Ty’s mood sank.

  They all did their best to reassure Ty that no matter what happened, they’d be there for him and help him through things however they could.

  Several minutes later, they watched as Tim pulled his truck into the driveway followed a moment later by Riley’s parents. The adults convened on the walkway for a moment then headed up and Tiffani opened the door, allowing the Strikers to precede her inside.

  Riley greeted his parents with a hug each and not a moment later, they had Ty wrapped up in a hug as well.

  “How are you, sweetie?” Maria asked Ty as Patton looked to his dad for some sign of what had gone down at Ty’s house. He gave Patton a sad look and small shake of his head and Patton’s heart sank. He nodded his understanding and wrapped his arm around Wes’s back. If Ty couldn’t go home, they were going to become his new family, and Patton was ready and willing to step into Ty’s life as a brother.

  “Didn’t
go well, did it?” Wes asked quietly, pressing a kiss behind Patton’s ear as Ty talked with his aunt and uncle.

  Patton shook his head and Wes squeezed him in understanding.

  “Alright, guys. Why don’t we all have a seat here and we can fill you in on everything that happened,” Tim said and the adults all took seats on the sofas while the boys huddled together on the ottoman and coffee table, making sure to keep Ty in the center of their group. The girls had been ushered upstairs once Patton knew his dad and Tiffani were headed home, and Patton could distantly hear them singing along to the music from Frozen.

  “Well,” Tim began in a somber and resigned tone. “There’s no easy way to start this conversation, Ty, so we’ll just come out with it. Your dad refuses to let you come back home.” Patton squeezed Ty’s hand and Wes squeezed Patton’s thigh. “He says he wants nothing to do with you and has all but changed the locks on the doors.”

  Ty nodded gamely but his lower lip trembled a little. “What about my mom? What did my mom say, Aunt Maria?”

  “She’s upset, sweetie. The whole situation has been difficult on her. She’s not sure what to think about you, and Bud had been yacking her ear off about every vile thing that comes into his warped and delusional brain. He’s been feeding your mother all of his Godly rhetoric for years, saying that anyone who isn’t like them will… Well, you know what I mean. We were always a religious family and held pretty tightly to our faith, but when your mom married Bud, he took it to a whole new level,” Maria explained.

  “She’s going to need some time to decide for herself, honey. If she can come to terms what she feels in her heart for you as your mother and distance all the crap Bud has been telling her, she may come around and reach out to you when she’s ready. But for now, the four of us have talked, and we think it would best for you to stay here with the Deans.”