A Father's Pledge
Page 16
“So they’re quite tame,” remarked Kat.
Mollie smiled. “They are my friends,” she admitted. “Sometimes I sit on the bench over there and just tell them my problems. Does that sound mad?”
“It sounds sensible to me,” Kat told her. “But are you sure you want to part with them?”
“I have to, I’m afraid. I’ll miss them, but I’ll be happy knowing they’re with you and doing some good, maybe even for Ben.”
Kat took her hand and shook it. “Then we have a deal. I just need a few days to get their quarters sorted.”
“Perhaps I could come and see Ben and bring them with me,” suggested Mollie. “If you really think that’s the right thing to do.”
“He’d love to see you—I know he would. I’ll have a word with Mike. I’m not sure how you’ll be able to transport a sheep and six chickens, though.”
Mollie laughed. “Oh, don’t worry—I won’t be loading them. Our next-door neighbor is a retired farmer and he’s always helping me out. He’ll put them in my Land Rover and you can unload them when we get there.”
“Sounds like a good plan,” Kat agreed. “I’ll get your number and call you when I’m ready for them—and when I’ve arranged something with Mike.”
“Don’t leave it too long,” Mollie said. “And please do organize that visit with Ben. I really miss him.”
“I know you do, and don’t worry—he really is doing okay.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
KAT’S VISIT TO Mollie had opened so many new avenues to explore with Ben, she could think of nothing else as she drove back to Jenny Brown’s Bay. How hard it must have been for him when his whole world had been in upheaval. He’d had to cope with the death of his mum without the support of his granddad, the person he was closest to in the whole world. Although Mollie had obviously tried with him, she’d had too much on her plate to deal with the little boy’s needs.
She’d seen it so many times before, the confusion children went through when the person or people they trusted weren’t there for them when they needed them most. And so often they dealt with their insecurity and loneliness by acting out or becoming withdrawn. With Ben it seemed to be both; he could swing from retreating into himself to being loud and angry. As was often the case, she’d found, many of these children considered any attention from a loved one to be better than no attention at all.
The Jacksons had been wrong to keep Ben away from his father; she was sure of that. It was selfish of them to want to keep him all to themselves; surely every child should have the opportunity to know both his or her parents, if it was possible. And it had been cruel to Luke, too, though she still thought he could have tried harder. If she’d been in his shoes she would have insisted on seeing her son. If Luke had been around when Carly was killed and when Jim’s health and business had begun to suffer so badly, maybe he could have helped Ben understand what was happening.
Pulling up outside Cove Cottages, she cut the engine and sat in her car for a few moments, still deep in thought. It never failed to surprise her just how cruel a place the world could be. Take the young couple from the boat, for instance. Could fate really have stamped so hard on their dreams?
No...
She put the thought out of her head, refusing to allow herself to get emotional about something that probably hadn’t even happened.
Ben needed her right now...and perhaps Luke did, too. There was something quite endearing about the way he was clumsily trying to form a bond with his son. She had to talk to him about the Jacksons’ problems; he didn’t have a clue what was going on with them. In fact, he’d been quite arrogant in his insistence that he was the only one who understood Ben’s situation. It was about time that he faced up to his mistake in not fighting to be in his son’s life, but she wasn’t sure he could do that unless he had the full picture. Then maybe he would agree with her that Ben needed love, not discipline.
The sun sank lower in the sky, drifting down to meet the shimmering crimson sea. As Kat climbed out her car, she felt as if she was coming home. She’d try to speak to Luke tonight, she decided. He might not like the fact that she’d interfered and gone to visit Mollie without telling him, especially after their moment of closeness...and that kiss. That was his problem, though; this was about what was best for Ben, not Luke.
She got back in her car and turned it around, driving through the village toward Flight. With a vague feeling of foreboding, she pulled into the drive, more certain than ever that she had to talk to Luke as soon as possible.
The hallway was empty, and her shoes made a staccato sound on the gleaming wood. She looked around uneasily. The whole building seemed unusually still and silent. Normally, keeping down the noise of chattering children was the problem.
The sound of a television floated out from the main sitting room as she headed down the corridor, and she peered around the door to see several children watching a film. They all sat transfixed and she quietly withdrew, pleased to see Ben there. He was at the back of the room and sitting by himself, but he was obviously enjoying what appeared to be a Harry Potter film. He might still be a solitary little chap, but at least he was settling in.
Kat felt like taking him in her arms and telling him she understood what he was going through, but she knew that wasn’t the answer. She needed to draw him out carefully and make him want to confide in her. That was what Luke needed to do with Ben, too. She hoped he’d understand how careful he had to be in his approach.
Gwen called out a hello from the laundry room as Kat passed and came bustling out with an armful of linens. “What are you doing here so late in the day?” she asked.
“I’m just looking for Luke,” Kat said. “Have you seen him?”
Gwen smiled, rolling her eyes. “Looking for Luke, eh? Now, there’s a surprise. I didn’t think you two got on so well.”
“We don’t really,” Kat replied quickly. “It’s just business.”
“Ah, business—so that’s what they’re calling it now.”
Kat’s mouth dropped open and heat crept into her cheeks. Gwen laughed. “Only kidding... I think he’s in his apartment.”
Luke answered her knock right away. His hair was damp, dark and curly from the shower and his face glowed.
“You should have told me you were coming,” he said, awkwardly wrapping his robe more tightly around himself. “Is it important?”
“I think so,” she responded, hovering impatiently in the doorway.
He stood back, holding the door wide. “I guess you’d better come in.”
She hesitated. “This is bad timing, isn’t it? Seems like you’re about to go out.”
“I was meeting a friend in the pub, but I can cancel. Is this about, you know...earlier?”
“No, no. I just wanted to talk to you about Ben.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “What’s he been up to now?”
“Nothing. I... Look, how about we meet up at mine tomorrow after work... Sevenish okay for you?”
“It’s a date,” he agreed. “I mean...well, not actually a date, but...”
Kat smiled. “I know what you mean. I’ll make us something to eat—just a snack, nothing special.”
He took a step toward her. “That would be nice. And, Kat, about this afternoon...you know, when you were upset and...”
Heat rushed into her face and she looked away, remembering the feel of his body against hers and suddenly longing for him to hold her again. “What about it?”
“Ben saw us.”
“What? You mean...?”
“Yes, and he said you were his friend, not mine. He did also say he supposed I could be friends with him, too, but he seems to think I might steal your affections away from him.”
“Poor Ben,” murmured Kat. “He’s so confused.”
S
he almost told him then, about talking to Mollie, but she hesitated, unsure. It wasn’t a conversation to rush—it would wait until tomorrow.
“Confused...in what way?” Luke asked, frowning.
She wanted to reach out and touch his face, to walk into his arms, rest her cheek on his shoulder and tell him all the things that were circling inside her head: her confusion about her feelings for him, Jim Jackson’s dementia and how difficult all the repercussions had been for Ben to deal with, her excitement about April and the chickens. “See you at seven,” she said, turning away to avoid the temptation.
“Kat...”
She looked back, excitement fluttering inside her like a trapped bird. “Yes?”
“See you tomorrow,” he said and closed the door.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
KAT HAD BEEN up since dawn, clearing away garbage, sorting out all the items left behind in Elsa’s shed shop and making plans for her animal-therapy course. She couldn’t wait to get this venture off the ground, but if she was honest, she was also trying to fill her head with anything other than her “date” with Luke.
Last night she’d talked to Elsa on the phone, intending to keep her filled in on her plans, but she’d ended up confiding in the older woman about talking to Ben’s grandma and agreeing to take on six chickens and a sheep—without giving away any private information, of course. Elsa had been more than helpful when it came to the animals; she’d suggested that Kat should use the small plot of land behind the shed for both April and the chickens; the dog she still had her heart set on would of course live with her in the cottage. All she needed now was a coop to go in the fenced-off area she’d earmarked as a run for the chickens. There was already a small shelter at the back of the shed that could house April if needed, and the plot was big enough for her to run around in. The area behind it had gone a bit wild, but Kat was sure April would soon sort out the long grass, or else she’d hire someone to mow it.
Full of enthusiasm, she dusted and cleaned and washed the floors, dreaming up plans for rabbits and other animals. She still intended to use the front of the old shop for the children’s sea treasures, and the more items she uncovered from Elsa’s hoard, the more excited she became.
It was almost eight when she stopped to look at her watch; she had only half an hour to wash, change and grab something to eat before she needed to set off for Flight. Kat hurriedly locked the door behind her with a warm sense of satisfaction before running down Cove Road to the cottage. One of her sessions this morning was with Ben, but she didn’t intend to try to draw him out about his granddad until she’d spoken to Luke; it wouldn’t be fair. She so wanted to make Ben see how much he was loved, by his grandmother and his dad...even his granddad. She was certain his love was still there; it was just masked by the older man’s illness. She’d make Ben see it, eventually, and then she could watch his confidence grow. That would be her reward.
As she got ready for the day, her “date” with Luke tonight preyed on her mind. It was just a meeting, but she was still kind of looking forward to it. Lately, she liked being around him. But she was nervous, too. How would he react when she owned up to visiting Mollie? Kat had been on the wrong side of Luke Travis’s temper before and she hoped she wouldn’t bear the brunt of it tonight. She’d get him to relax first, she decided, with food and chat, maybe even a glass of wine, and she’d just slip it into the conversation. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention I saw Mollie yesterday...
The first part of Kat’s morning flew by. She had a meeting with social workers about a new child who was due to come to the school in a couple of days, and she spent some time afterward filling in the relevant paperwork. Then she headed off for her session with a young girl she’d been counseling since she arrived at Flight.
As usual, Tara, a twelve-year-old with mouse-brown hair and freckles, knocked tentatively on the open door, moving nervously from foot to foot, her fingers locked in front of her.
“Morning, Tara,” called Kat, pretending to write something down. “Come on in and sit down.” She’d found out that the less attention she paid to her, the more relaxed and outgoing the painfully shy girl became.
“Morning,” whispered Tara.
Kat looked up at her, smiling. “Have you done the work we discussed last week?”
“Couldn’t do it, Miss.”
“Did you try?”
Tara’s silence spoke volumes.
“Well, perhaps I can help you with it now,” Kat suggested. “I’ll start to show you how it goes and then it’s your turn. Now, five things I either like about me or I am good at.”
Kat chewed the end of her pen thoughtfully, looking down at the blank sheet of paper in front of her. “I see what you mean,” she said. “Can you help me out here?”
“You’re pretty,” Tara suggested.
Kat laughed. “Thanks, but I can’t put that down, can I? Even if I agreed with you. Tell you what I can put, though—I have a nice wide smile and I have very blue eyes. Now it’s your turn.”
“I...” she began falteringly. “I have nice long legs and—and...I’m kind.”
“That’s great, Tara. I agree with you—you are sweet and kind and generous. Look how you help all the younger children. No one is perfect, but we all have good things about us and we should be proud of them. We have things we don’t like, too, but we can work on them.”
“What bad things do you have, Miss?” Tara asked, her voice a few notches above a whisper now.
“Well,” Kat began, choosing her answer carefully. “For a long time when I was young, like you, I had very little confidence in myself.”
“But you’re confident now,” Tara declared.
“I’ve had to work very hard at it,” Kat told her. “And studying to do child therapy helped. It was a bit like you with the younger children—by helping others, you help yourself, too.”
Tara beamed. “I think I know how to do that exercise now, Miss. Can I take it with me and try again?”
“Of course you can. Oh, and let’s add something else.”
“What?”
“Write down five things that make you happy, too.”
After Tara’s session ended, Ben came into her office.
“Hello,” she said when he walked in. He grinned in response.
“Hello... Can we still go mudlarking this weekend?”
“Of course we can,” she promised. “Sunday probably—just you, me and maybe a couple of the younger ones...like Tammy.”
“Can we have a picnic...or cake at your house again?”
“I don’t see why n—” Kat trailed off as she remembered that Luke had advised her to keep the children away from the sea for now. She was about to tell Ben it might be better if they waited until another weekend, but realized that would only bring up questions or make Ben feel insecure. She didn’t want to explain to him about the lost couple—who might not have even drowned, for all anyone knew—and she certainly didn’t want him thinking yet another adult was breaking a promise. She would simply scout the area before they went out, she decided. Not that she expected to find any sign of the couple. They were probably miles away from Jenny Brown’s Bay by now, going on with their lives. That was what she would continue to tell herself.
She cleared her throat. “We’ll have cake at my house,” she told him, hoping that the compromise would satisfy Luke’s concern.
“And what about him—will he want to come?”
“Luke, you mean? Why? Do you want him to?”
Ben shrugged. “Don’t care.”
To Kat, that was a yes; it seemed their father-son relationship was starting to get somewhere. The problem was that she’d agreed to take Ben mudlarking when Luke had asked her to keep the children away from the shore. “I don’t know if he’ll be able to come this weekend,” she said thoughtfully. If
she happened to see Luke, she’d explain then, but she wouldn’t deliberately seek him out. “But we’ll have a good time.”
After all, what right did Luke Travis have to tell her what to do? She’d been responsible about the trip and that was enough.
Ben grinned. “Yes, course we will. I might find something else magic, like the silver heart, to give to my gran when I see her.”
“You never know what you’ll find,” Kat said.
“Mike said that I could see her soon. You’ll have to hurry up and get the animals so I can show them to her when she comes to visit. We used to have animals at home—a sheep and chickens.”
“That’s great,” Kat told him. “If you’re already used to looking after animals, you’ll be such a great help.”
Ben looked down at his hands, his shoulders slumped. “I didn’t... I mean, I wasn’t very good at it and...”
“And what?” Kat asked gently when he fell silent.
“And I didn’t want to,” he admitted. “My gran got cross about it, but I—I was glad.”
“Why did you want to make your grandma cross, Ben?”
“Because she made me cross...because she made everything different.”
“Sometimes things just change,” Kat said. “And it isn’t always someone’s fault. Things can happen for no reason at all—bad things and good things. If it’s something bad, we have to do our best to get through it. I’m sure your grandma was doing her best.”
Kat kept her tone light and casual. For Ben to have let out even a small part of his thoughts was a real breakthrough, but she knew if she made a big deal of it, he might clam up again. “Anyway,” she went on. “You can make it up to her now, if you want to.”
“I wasn’t very nice to Grandma,” he said abruptly. “She got me a lamb to love when Granddad went...different, but I wouldn’t look after it.”
“And why do you think that was?” Kat asked quietly, afraid of pushing too hard.
“Because I was cross...”