A Father's Pledge

by Eleanor Jones

  Anyway, he mused, heading back into the house shortly after their encounter, they didn’t even see eye to eye on most points...except for wanting the best for Ben. And even then, they disagreed on what was best for him. All this alternative therapy of hers was just a cop-out, as far as he could see, a modern fad, yet he admired her passion for it. She genuinely cared for the kids, too, and tried to help them adjust and interact with others so they would grow into confident adults.

  And he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t find her attractive. When she smiled, her whole face lit up. He shouldn’t have kissed her, though; it was stupid and irresponsible when he knew there was no future for them. Ben came first, and Luke wasn’t prepared to compromise his son’s future or their fragile relationship. Still, remembering her warmth as he held her close and the feel of her lips against his, he knew he could never regret that kiss.

  He was still thinking about Kat when he walked toward the dining room and saw Ben coming down the stairs, alone as usual. It worried him that the boy was always on his own. “Going for tea?” he asked. Ben nodded.

  “Mind if I join you?” When Ben just shrugged, Luke fell into step beside him. “Everything okay?”

  The little boy gave him a sideways glance. “Miss is my friend, not yours.”

  “I know that, Ben,” Luke responded quickly. “But can’t I be your friend, too?”

  “Guess so...but she’s not your friend.”

  “You’re right. She’s my coworker and she looks after you, so we like to talk about that,” Luke explained.

  “You kissed her!” Ben’s face was flushed with anger and his voice rose an octave as he made his accusation.

  Luke froze; this was the last thing he wanted. “She was upset,” he explained, his mind working overtime. Ben must have seen them outside the school. Oh, how could they have been so careless? “I was trying to comfort her, that’s all.” He could see by Ben’s face that he was having none of it.

  “You must have upset her, then. What did you do?”

  “No... It wasn’t me.” Luke decided to tell him the truth. “Do you remember people talking about the young couple who went out in a boat and disappeared?”

  Ben nodded, frowning thoughtfully.

  “Well, they found the boat and Kat was worried, that’s all.”

  “Because they didn’t find the people, you mean?”

  “Yes...but I told her they probably just accidentally let the boat get loose, so it floated off into the sea on its own.”

  “Do you think that’s true?”

  As he held the boy’s direct gaze, something inside Luke flipped over. This was his son, his flesh and blood, and he knew he would do anything to protect him. “I hope so, Ben,” he said.

  Seemingly content with his reply, Ben walked in silence and didn’t object when Luke accompanied him into the dining room.

  “I’ll get a table if you go for some sandwiches and orange juice,” he suggested in such a grown-up manner that it made Luke smile. Yet behind the flush of pride he felt for his son lurked a niggle of worry. Ben had been furious about him kissing Kat; why would he drop it so easily? Was there something else, something he’d missed...or had Ben simply accepted Luke’s explanation? Guilt flooded him as he thought about that kiss. It must never happen again.

  Piling sandwiches onto a plate, Luke precariously balanced two glasses of orange juice on the side and turned to see where Ben was sitting. The expression on the boy’s face as their eyes met across the room was brooding, and Luke’s heart sank. So Ben hadn’t really forgiven him at all... But why would he pretend?

  * * *

  KAT RAN DOWN the path to Cove Cottages. Her heart beat hard in her chest and her calf muscles ached, but it was better than thinking about the young couple...lost in the sea. She stopped for breath down on the shore, looking out over the sparkling expanse of water as if expecting to see them. The bay looked so beautiful and serene now, a sleeping beast about to awaken as the tide came rushing in. They couldn’t be drowned; they just couldn’t be.

  The more she stared out across the bay, the more convinced she became that they must have accidentally allowed the boat to drift off. She imagined them drinking cocktails in a bar somewhere much farther round the bay, watching in horror as their boat came unfastened from its mooring and sailed away without them. Perhaps they’d rented it and panicked when they’d discovered it was gone, leaving town so they wouldn’t have to pay. That must be it, she decided; the young man had appeared way too confident and sure of what he was doing with the boat to be any kind of novice sailor. They were probably miles away by now, giggling at their exploits.

  Feeling better, she went into the cottage for a quick wash and change. She would think about that kiss with Luke later; it was Ben she had to concentrate on now. And yet Luke’s words still came back to haunt her: Who are you, Kat? Did she even know who she was? Perhaps, like him, she was incapable of truly loving and committing herself to anyone.

  Was that why the young couple in the boat had affected her so much? Because she was envious of what they had? No, that couldn’t be right; she’d just seen something pure and real in them, that was all, and she couldn’t bear to think of it ending in tragedy. Truth was, she would probably never know what happened to them, and she needed to put them out of her head.

  Still, she couldn’t ignore the obvious lesson in their disappearance: that when you have a chance at love, you should embrace it with open arms since you could never know what might be just around the corner.

  Finally, Kat was on the road to Arkholme. As the miles rolled by and she left the coast behind, Kat found herself becoming more and more excited to see Mollie Jackson...and maybe even Jim. Luke was convinced that Ben’s life had been perfect and he was just spoiled and uncontrollable, but she knew it was way more than that. She hoped this evening would give her insight that could lead to a breakthrough with the little boy.

  After almost an hour, the sign loomed out at her, announcing that she’d arrived in Arkholme. It was just a village, clean and neat and well looked after with a village hall and a pub and some lovely country properties and farms. The village store was still open, she noticed, as she pulled over to park on the street. She went inside, hoping to ask about High House Farm. She had to wander the aisles for a few minutes before a woman appeared from a door at the back. Kat grabbed a loaf of bread and made her way to the counter.

  “One twenty-five,” said the woman, and Kat handed over her money.

  “I don’t suppose you’ve heard of High House Farm, have you?” she asked as she took her change.

  “Why, yes.” The woman smiled. “The Jacksons’ place, you mean.”

  “You know them?”

  “Well, Mollie mostly... She comes into the shop. Not quite as much these days, since her grandson went away to school. The place is on the market now. Oh, I guess you’ve come to view it.”

  Deciding not to correct the woman, Kat simply asked for directions. To her relief, the farm was less than a mile away.

  “Perhaps we’ll be seeing some more of you,” the cashier said as Kat took her leave. She smiled politely, closing the door behind her.

  High House Farm had its own private drive with impressive grounds and gardens, just as Luke had described. Kat drove slowly, taking in her surroundings and trying to decide what to say when she knocked and the front door opened.

  As it happened, she had no need to knock because Mollie Jackson was in the garden on her hands and knees weeding a flower bed. She stood awkwardly when she saw the car pull up, leaning on the wall for support, her hands black with dirt. “I’m so sorry to disturb you,” Kat said, climbing out.

  Mollie shook her head and smiled. “I’m glad of an excuse to stop, to be honest,” she said. “How can I help you?”

  Kat decided to jump right in. “I’m from Ben’s scho
ol. I’m his therapist, actually. It’s probably a bit unconventional of me to come here like this, but I wanted to talk to you about him.”

  Mollie heaved a sigh. “You’d better come inside.”

  The house had obviously once been quite grand, but now it looked run-down and a little sad.

  “It’s for sale, you know,” Mollie told her. “We can’t afford such a big place anymore, and it’s way too much for me to keep up with the housework.” She threw out her arm to encompass the messy hallway. “As you can see. So how is Ben?”

  Taken by surprise at her directness, Kat froze; what to say? “He’s fine,” she said simply. “I just want to try and understand him a bit better.”

  “I’ve been worried about him,” Mollie said, her face puckering a little. “But I thought it would be better to just leave him to settle. He’s been through enough and he needed some stability in his life. I thought if I visited or tried to be more involved, it would just make him homesick and unable to move forward. Come through into the kitchen and I’ll brew a pot of tea.”

  Kat followed the diminutive older lady into a large, airy kitchen, where, dismissing her offer of help, Mollie pointed to a chair. Kat sat, watching in silence as Mollie brewed tea and poured it into two china cups.

  “We tried to give him the world when he was small,” she said wearily, sitting down at the table. “But after—after Carly died, everything seemed to go so wrong. Jim took it bad. He made some mistakes, the business suffered and eventually we lost everything. I think Ben would have been fine if... Well, money isn’t everything, is it?”

  “What happened, Mollie?” Kat asked. “With Ben’s granddad, I mean. It’s troubling him. I know it is.”

  Mollie clasped her hands together, her shoulders trembling slightly. “They were very close, you see, like father and son, really. When Carly died, Jim took it hard, as I said. We both did. He started behaving oddly, seeming at times almost to resent Ben for being here when she wasn’t, snapping at him for no reason or just ignoring him. They used to have so much fun together. After the business failed and the debtors started knocking on the door, Jim got worse. He shut himself off, sometimes hardly seeming to know us anymore, and I was too busy trying to keep everything together to see just how badly it was all affecting Ben.

  “When the school called to say he’d been skipping class and going into town, I tried to talk to him, to explain that his granddad still loved him but he was suffering from something called depression, which was an illness that made him feel sad all the time. For some reason, though, Ben seemed to blame himself for the way his granddad had changed. He started behaving erratically, becoming withdrawn and awkward, and he used to cry about his granddad being sad. It was only recently, since just before Ben came to Flight, that I came to realize Jim’s behavior was more than just the grief and depression we’d believed it was. And then I understood why he’d acted as he did with Ben...”

  Kat placed her hand over Mollie’s. “Go on.”

  “He had a dizzy spell and he seemed to temporarily lose the ability to speak. It was frightening. The doctor sent him to the hospital for tests, and they found he’d had a slight stroke, probably not the first. The doctor told me that his odd behavior over the last months was more likely the onset of dementia brought on by one or more mini-strokes than simply depression. He’s become much worse in the past few weeks. His dementia is now quite advanced.”

  “And is he here still, with you?”

  “I’m looking after him for as long as I’m able. He has carers and he’s at the day care center today—he’ll be back soon.”

  Suddenly, everything became clear to Kat. Ben’s insecurity, his hostility and inability to trust anyone were all rooted in the fact that after his whole world had been turned upside down, the granddad he believed in had let him down. And as was quite common in such cases, Ben had seen his granddad’s rejection of him as a failing in himself, as if he was unworthy of his love. His bad behavior was just a means of getting a reaction from his grandparents—any reaction was better than no reaction at all.

  “I’m glad you told me,” she said quietly.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner,” Mollie replied. “I just thought Jim had depression, you see. I thought he’d get past it and everything would be all right. I didn’t realize how deeply it had affected Ben until it was too late.”

  Kat took hold of her hands. “Well, now we both understand him a little better. For what it’s worth, I think it would be good for Ben to see you. He has a present he wants to give his granddad. I’ll explain Jim’s illness to him, too. Maybe hearing that the way his granddad acted wasn’t because he’d stopped loving him will help him accept everything better.”

  Mollie’s face brightened. “You’ll arrange for me to see him?”

  “I’ll speak to Mike—we do sometimes take the children for home visits, so it may be possible.”

  “And Ben’s father... Is he looking out for him?”

  “Luke is trying his best, but Ben does seem to have a problem with him.”

  “I think that could be my fault,” Mollie admitted. “Carly never wanted him to know about his son, but I took it on myself to tell him. Luke wanted to spend time with Ben but I talked him out of it. Carly was annoyed that I’d even told him about Ben, but I thought it only right. As far as she was concerned, they were over, and she didn’t want him around Ben. I know it might sound selfish, but that’s how it was and Jim always backed Carly up. We told Ben he didn’t have a father of his own, but that it didn’t matter because his granddad was going to be like a dad to him. But then...”

  She stared down at her hands, moving her stiff fingers, and Kat followed her gaze, taking in her swollen arthritic joints with a lurch of sympathy. Here was a woman who had had more than her share of heartache, and it wasn’t over yet.

  “Then his granddad let him down,” she went on. “So how does Ben know his father won’t do the same thing? As far as he’s concerned, Luke never even wanted him in the first place.”

  “I’ll try and make Ben understand,” promised Kat. “Please try not to worry. You have enough on your plate.”

  As they said goodbye, she thought Mollie looked a little more relaxed, so Kat leaned down impulsively and kissed her cheek. “I hope you get a nice new place to live soon,” she said. “Somewhere easier for you.”

  “It won’t be that easy, though, even when we do find somewhere else,” Mollie said, sighing. “Because then there’ll be the chickens to get rid of...and April, of course.”

  Kat frowned. “How many chickens do you have...and who’s April?”

  “Six chickens. They all still lay, but not as much as they used to. And April—April is a sheep.”

  “You have a sheep?” Kat cried. “What...a pet sheep?”

  “Here...” Mollie beckoned for her to follow her around the back of the house. “I’ll introduce you.”

  They crossed the yard and came upon an old stone building, crumbling slightly and in need of new windows.

  They stepped inside. “They were stables at one time,” Mollie explained, pointing out the rows of stalls. “They’re mostly empty now, though.”

  She opened a small door near the end; it creaked in objection and a loud bleating burst out from behind it. When a small, white-faced sheep trotted out, Kat stepped forward to control it, but Mollie just smiled. “She won’t go anywhere,” she said. “Will you, April?”

  The sheep nuzzled up to Kat, and when she rubbed the backs of her long ears, April lifted her head for more. “She’s just like a pet dog!” Kat exclaimed.

  “That’s the trouble,” Mollie said. “The kind of house we’re looking to buy wouldn’t have any room for April, and I can’t just let her go anywhere.”

  It felt to Kat as if this was meant to be. “I’ll take her,” she said, suddenly sure.
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br />   Mollie’s face lit up. “Really? Oh, that’s such a relief. She’s getting a bit boisterous for me to handle, to be honest. She almost pushed me over yesterday when I tried to put her back in. What will you do with her, though? You’re not going to send her to market?”

  “Of course not. I’m starting animal-therapy classes with the children, and she’s perfect.”

  “So Ben will get to see her?”

  “He can help take care of her.”

  Mollie’s tone became wistful. “I got her for Ben last spring when she was just a few days old—in April, obviously. It was when his granddad first went into what his doctor told us was depression. Ben was upset about Jim’s behavior, and I thought that maybe having a lamb to feed and care for might be a distraction.”

  “And was it?”

  “Sadly, no, not really. He was struggling with the whole situation, and getting him to look after April ended up being harder than feeding her myself.” She looked up at Kat, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “He’s had a tough time, what with his mum and all the trouble with his granddad. Ben must have felt so alone... He’d had everything before that—love, attention and everything money could buy. Money can’t buy everything, though, can it? It couldn’t save Carly. Eventually sending Ben away just seemed like the best thing to do for him.”

  They’d already been over this, and Kat didn’t want Mollie to dwell on the subject; she had so much on her plate already.

  “I’ve offered to take April in, but what about the chickens?” Kat said, hoping to lighten the mood.

  “What...you might take them, too?”

  “I can take a look at them, at least...if you want me to.”

  “Of course! They’re in the orchard. I’ll show you.”

  The chickens were all hybrids, the reddish-brown variety popular for their regular laying and lovely brown eggs. They were scratching around in the orchard, but when they saw their two visitors they came rushing over.