Only

by HelenKay Dimon

  “I’m demanding what?”

  The deadly cool tone had him changing strategies. Yeah, he’d gone too far. Time to pull back. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

  “You said it.” Her hands went to her hips. “For the record, I came here to tell you I feel taken for granted.”

  The comment struck from out of nowhere. It seemed so out of context. “What are you talking about?”

  “You promised to call this morning. When you didn’t, I called you and never heard back.”

  The simple explanation, despite it being delivered at a near roar, took some of the sting out of his anger. This was about a call. Something they should be able to work out in two seconds and move on. “I got stuck in meetings.”

  “You run the place, Bast.”

  Clearly she didn’t think this was so simple. “Which is why I can’t always break away.”

  She nodded in the direction of his cell. “How long does a text take? The phone is right there, two inches from your hand.”

  He looked down, saw the cell. Glanced at the office phone with its ten lines. Maybe he did stumble his way through this. They had plans and in his mind it was all set . . . but he had said something about calling.

  He wiped a hand over his chin as he exhaled. “Okay, let’s back up.”

  “Did you want to go back to the part where you’re an ass?” The furious scowl suggested she could give him a list of his failings if he wanted it.

  “What did I do . . .” When she balled her hands into fists at her side, he rushed to cut through the potential screaming. “Okay, I mean other than the missed call.”

  Which still didn’t seem like an unforgiveable crime to him. He kept a punishing work schedule. Not much slipped, but when things did they tended to be in his private life, not the office life.

  “How about the look of rabid terror at seeing me in your office?”

  He fought to keep his expression neutral. “Okay, that’s an overstatement.”

  “And referring to you as an ass might be an understatement.”

  Her reaction to the dropped call struck him as overblown but he didn’t dare say it. “Admittedly, I should have called.”

  She took one more step and came right up against the edge of his desk. “That’s the only point you’re taking from this conversation?”

  Defuse. That was his only thought. Their voices kept rising and the energy racing around the room had them in its grip. “You’re the one who came to my office.”

  “You came to my work and cornered me in the locker room.”

  “That was different.” Even he didn’t buy that explanation. It rang hollow in his ears.

  “Because you’re so important?”

  “I didn’t say that.” The room went quiet after his vibrating shout.

  With the conversation spinning out of control, he tried to mentally step back and assess. The whole thing blew into something irrational. Her anger raged and breathed and covered everything.

  “I think we need to review what’s happening here.” After a deep breath, her body relaxed and her voice dropped back to normal range. “We are in a relationship.”

  The word sliced across his nerves. “I wouldn’t say—”

  She held up a hand and shot him a you-are-right-on-the-edge frown. “Don’t go crazy anticommitment on me here. Maybe it’s just sexual to you, but we agreed to see each other, only each other. That carries with it a requirement to treat each other with respect.”

  They’d finally found common ground. He could work with that. “I agree.”

  “And you are failing.”

  The conversation pivot had him stumbling again. “It was one call.”

  “A canceled evening and a missed call. Do you know how many things you told me you’d do since we started this?” She held up two fingers and counted off. “Exactly two—an evening together and a call. The way I see it you’re zero for two.”

  Spelled out like that, it didn’t sound so irrational. He’d plowed ahead with his life, knowing she’d be there tonight. It never dawned on him to prioritize better. For a smart guy he’d been pretty damn dumb.

  Her anger kept rolling, aiming right for his head. “Are you embarrassed about being with me? Rethinking us getting together?”

  “No.” The idea of seeing her tonight was the only thing holding the day together. “None of that.”

  “I am not a dirty little secret.” Her voice cracked on the last word.

  Guilt rushed over him, wiping out everything else. “I never said you were.”

  “You’re acting like it.”

  She was right.

  Forget their deal and the call. This went deeper. He owed her time and needed her to know she counted for more than booty call points. “Lock the door.”

  She sputtered. “You think you can boss me around after acting like a dumbass?”

  “Do it.” He motioned for her to follow his order. “I told you we would be together tonight, and we will.”

  “And I’m supposed to wait around until you call me like some shallow sex toy. Is that the plan here?” She kept firing harsh words, but she also locked the door and returned to her position in front of the desk.

  “No.”

  She went to his head so fast it threw off his balance. She got him riled. No one pushed him to the edge like she did. She didn’t just accept what he offered. She demanded more. With his need for control and issues in the past, her attitude should be a no-go. Instead, it revved him up and drained him of the will to fight her off.

  “Your other women may have said that was fine—”

  “Don’t do that.” There was the line he did not cross. “We’re not talking about other women I’ve dated.”

  “Maybe we should because it seems like they let you get away with being a gigantic ass.” She leaned in. “So we’re clear, I will not accept that bullshit.”

  The woman kept shoving and testing until a headache boomed in his brain. “I don’t really tolerate people calling me names and you’ve done it numerous times in the last five minutes.”

  “And?”

  Clearly she was not impressed with his comment. “Just pointing it out.”

  Some of the air seemed to seep out of her then. Her shoulders fell and the anger pulling at her mouth eased. “You deserved it each time.”

  “I did.” No question about it. He fucked up.

  Now he had to un-fuck it.

  She crossed her arms in front of her and made a clicking sound with her tongue. “What’s happening?”

  “Come here.”

  She froze. “Why?”

  But there was no confusion in her voice. She knew what he wanted. The mood in the room shifted and the anger fell away. The buzz of energy morphed into a different type of heat. The kind he could handle.

  He crooked a finger at her. “I said, come here.”

  “What do you want?” she asked as she walked around the side of the desk.

  “To apologize.”

  She came to a slamming halt. Her hand went to the desk as if her balance faltered. “Is this some lawyer strategy? Because you don’t strike me as a guy who apologizes much.”

  She wasn’t wrong. Not that he planned to tell her that. Not when they stood on the edge of a cliff he still didn’t quite understand. “I do when I mess up.”

  “What do you think you did wrong?” She slid her fingers along the smooth edge of the wood. “I mean, I know, but I worry you don’t and are just throwing out words to charm me. Or, worse, shut me up.”

  Time to spell it out and take responsibility. “My sins include taking for granted you’d be there when I found time to call this afternoon instead of calling you first thing—well, your first thing and my late morning—to confirm.”

  The rest of the strain left her face. “Okay, that was n
ice.”

  “Impressed?”

  She made a hmpf sound. “Well, it was pretty.”

  “You’re pretty.”

  Not done with the noises and gestures, she rolled her eyes. “That’s not going to work.”

  He was banking on the fact it would.

  He pushed his chair back from the desk and patted his lap. With a hand on her thigh, he guided her to the space in front of him until she leaned against the desk. “Are you sure?”

  She grabbed onto the edge behind her. “I shouldn’t let you win this battle. You already border on impossible.”

  “I was thinking we both could win.” He eased up her skirt until it rested high on her thighs and she could straddle his legs. “Are you wearing panties?”

  One hand skimmed up her inner thigh.

  She clenched her legs together, trapping his hand against her skin before he reached anything good. “Dark purple lace.”

  “Let me see.”

  “I thought you didn’t want me in your office.”

  “Kyra, do it now.”

  “Fine.” Shimmying her hips, she drew the skirt up even higher.

  Her legs and intoxicating smell hit him with a punch. She was so damn sexy, fierce and unyielding. She owned her sensuality and didn’t back down from a fight. It was a miracle he could get through the day right now without driving to her place and getting her into bed. He chalked the blood lust up to the newness of them being together.

  Whatever it was, he wanted more. “Kyra, show me.”

  She opened her legs and he let his hand drop to her knee. The material made a rustling sound as it brushed over her bare skin. She stopped when the edge of her underwear peeked out.

  “You’ve been a bad boy.”

  His finger slid along the crotch of the tiny scrap of material. “I intend to be.”

  “I thought you had these important meetings and calls.”

  After a quick look at the clock and time check, he reached around her for the intercom button. “Roberta? Go ahead and take a break.”

  Kyra frowned at him. “That was subtle. For a man who’s so worried about people knowing his secrets, you kind of suck at subterfuge.”

  “I still haven’t seen those panties.”

  She put a hand on his shoulder and pushed his chair back. “I have something better.”

  He laughed. “I doubt that.”

  “Let me cure your skepticism.” With the added space between his knees and the desk, she slid down. Kept going until she hit her knees in front of him.

  She ran her hands up and down his legs. The friction heated his skin but the way she stared at his zipper had him.

  He cleared his throat. “Okay, I was wrong. This is pretty damn good.”

  Her fingers went to work on his belt. Slipping the leather out. Unbuttoning the pants. Before she slipped the zipper down, she leaned forward and rubbed her cheek against the fly. His erection jumped to life. He twitched and grew until the material strangled him.

  “You’re all bunched up.” She slid her hands inside his waistband and opened him to her.

  Then her mouth was on him. Her hand tightened on the base of his cock as her finger swept over the head. She sucked and squeezed.

  Looking down, he saw her head bob as she worked her mouth up and down on him. Soft hair spilled over his lap. Lips wrapped around his cock. The storm of sensations had him forgetting where he was and all his rules about keeping his distance from her. When she stood in front of him, his resolve faltered. When she touched him, he couldn’t remember why he needed to hold her away from him.

  His head dropped back against his chair and his fingers clenched in her hair. The sound of her mouth over him mixed with the creak of the chair and shuffle of clothing against the leather. He got lost in the feel of her lips and hand. The knowing pull that had his mind shutting down and his body swamped with need. It all built until he closed his eyes and let the pressure grab him.

  His hips pumped and her fingers tightened. A small breath escaped his throat as he came in her mouth. Holding him and sucking him, she dragged him over the edge. He filled her mouth and she took it all.

  Everything about her turned him on.

  When the pulsing stopped, he looked down and saw her staring up at him. His fingers slipped through her hair. He tried for gentle, because in that moment that’s how he felt. “I’m sorry I was an ass.”

  He meant it. He got a lot of things right but his failed marriage showed him how completely capable he was of destroying things, too. He didn’t want to destroy Kyra.

  She kissed the tip of his cock and smiled when it twitched in response. Then she was on her feet and tugging her skirt back down. “You’re forgiven.”

  “Good, we can—”

  “One thing.” She leaned down until her lips hovered over his. “You’ve messed up twice. Let’s not try for three.”

  She pulled back before he could kiss her. “I can’t promise I’ll be perfect from here on.”

  “Try, but I’ll settle for not-annoying over perfect.”

  “I will not take you for granted.” He watched her tuck her shirt in and smooth down her skirt. “But I was wrong about the office. You’re welcome here any time.”

  She shot him a how-are-you-so-clueless look. “Men are so predictable. Wrap your mouth around their cocks and they shut up.”

  He couldn’t argue with that. “True.”

  She skated around his legs and made it to the other side of the desk before he could catch her. “Do yourself a favor.”

  He braced his body for a new blow. “Meaning?”

  “Regardless of your busy important schedule, figure out a way to call or text me within the hour and finalize tonight.”

  “I can do that now.”

  “Nope.” She shook her head. “Let’s see if you really do know how to use a phone and can remember to use it.”

  As she unlocked the door and slipped into the hallway, he set his cell alarm with a reminder.

  FOURTEEN

  With the latest news from Natalie and the unexpected arrival in his office a half hour ago, Bast called an emergency meeting. Just before four he stood at the head of his conference room table and looked down both sides. Jarrett and Becca on one. Wade and Natalie on the other. Elijah stood with his back to the glass double doors and looked ready to crash through them to escape.

  Bast pulled out the chair and dropped into it. “I know you need to be at the club for dinner prep, but this couldn’t wait.”

  “That can’t be good.” Becca liked to jump right to the point.

  This time Bast appreciated the no-nonsense approach. It fit with her sleek black dress and intense stare. “We have a problem.”

  Natalie shifted in her seat. The move, subtle and consisting of no more than placing a hand on the table, caused all gazes to shift to her. “He means I do.”

  “Why are the rest of us here?” Wade asked. He’d never been a big Natalie fan but the way he steadily avoided looking at Elijah suggested he’d pick her over him right now.

  “Natalie is about to be terminated.” Bast tapped his hand against the closed file in front of him. This one contained Natalie’s official notice with citings to regulations and comments about “regrets” about her behavior.

  Becca’s attention shot back to her former CIA boss. “Since when does the CIA give notice?”

  Natalie didn’t have to move this time. All eyes stayed locked on her. “As of this morning my clearance was revoked and I was placed on administrative leave.”

  Whether former agency employees or not, they all knew what that meant. The clock had started ticking. The CIA declared her unemployable in the covert realm and now she’d either get to walk away or meet with an accident. “We’re working out a separation agreement.”

  The room buzzed with energy now
. All of the people around the table had either been trained to hide emotion or came from the criminal world where that skill served to keep them alive. No one panicked or demanded explanations. They sat and listened and assessed while saying as little as possible.

  “Let me cut through the legal and spy talk.” Jarrett put a hand on the back of Becca’s chair. “You think someone is going to make Natalie disappear.”

  Eli piped up from the other side of the room. “Or hit her with a bus.”

  “Well.” Wade shook his head. “I see you still have a problem with tact.”

  “Why tiptoe? These people blew up Becca’s place and tried to fill me with bullets.” Elijah stepped closer to the table, hanging back at the opposite end from Bast. “Natalie argued for our continued breathing and now she’s in the firing line.”

  Natalie opened her mouth but Bast jumped in first. “Eli is right.”

  “Not something you hear every day.” Jarrett said the comment under his breath.

  Eli stared down the table. “It’s not hard to do the math and figure out Natalie is in trouble and our deals could be in danger.”

  “I agree.” This wasn’t a time to parse words or be careful about agency protocol. The CIA planned to fuck her, at the very least by taking away a job she worked hard at and deserved. Now he had to figure out how bad the personal attack would be and prepare for collateral damage.

  Jarrett sobered. His face became even more drawn. “Now what?”

  They still remained calm. Bast picked up some fidgeting and a hint of worry zipping through the room. He guessed most of that came from Jarrett wanting to pack Becca away and leave town.

  Bast didn’t blame the guy but they hadn’t reached emergency status yet. “I will handle everything but I need you all to make my life easier.”

  Jarrett jumped in before Bast finished the sentence. “How?”

  “You and Becca stay low, and preferably at the club, and tighten security.”

  Wade snorted. “They rarely go outside anyway.”

  That led Bast to his next point. “And, Wade, you need to be locked in as well.”

  Wade’s eyes narrowed. “I never worked for the CIA.”