Alien Coffee

by Carroll, John H.

  Jillian drew her weapon and followed. It looked like a ray gun should look, futuristic and silver with a simple hand grip and trigger. It even had glowing yellow lights in chevron patterns along the sides. She held it in both hands and aimed it at the ground while moving so as not to accidentally shoot Buffy.

  Two men were coming in their direction. Buffy zapped both of them. There was a lag of about two seconds after the first shot where the yellow lights on the sides dimmed and then grew bright again before the next. Jillian made a mental note not to shoot too quickly in case the gun needed to recharge or something. She tried to think of how it turned people into emo bunnies like the two that were now hopping back and forth not knowing where to go, but too many things were happening to concentrate.

  They came behind the original group of soldiers who had been searching for them, but others were approaching the area too. Nyxulla was on the other side of the building where the captives were being held while Sclurp was on top trying to stay as low as possible. He zapped one of the soldiers who was about to shoot him. Jillian wondered why he wasn’t lying down, thinking maybe he couldn’t with three legs and arms.

  Nyxulla zapped one of the nearest men who was also aiming at Sclurp. Buffy zapped another. Quite a few were beginning to point their guns at the tri-limbed alien and it was clear his life was in mortal danger.

  Jillian’s gut twisted into a sickening knot and her hand shook as she pointed the ray gun at a soldier that was about to shoot her new friend. With tears in her eyes, she zapped him into an emo bunny. The gun hummed and grew warm in her hand while the yellow chevrons dimmed briefly before lighting back up.

  The fact that the man was a drug runner of some sort and probably did bad things didn’t make Jillian stop feeling guilty. If Sclurp hadn’t been in true peril, there was no way she could have done so. She was also going through a moral quandary about taking the side of aliens she had just met over other humans, even Columbian drug lord henchmen.

  “Oh boys!” Nyxulla called out in a frisky tone. The men on the front side of the building suddenly stopped and stared at her. Jillian could barely see that the button on her invisibility device had gone blue, meaning she deactivated it. It was a bold move to distract the men in order to give Sclurp a chance for survival.

  The move was too late. One of the men on the side of the building got a shot off just before Buffy zapped him. The bullet hit Sclurp in his rear shoulder, eliciting an eerie squeal of pain from the long, thin mouth. Jillian zapped another one that was about to shoot. Perhaps the life of an emo bunny would be better for them. They might be sad for a little while, but . . . aren’t emo bunnies always sad?

  She shook off the thought and zapped another, as did Buffy and Nyxulla. Sclurp jumped off the building back toward the fence. Buffy started running in that direction too while Nyxulla reactivated her invisibility and ran around the other side to cover him that way.

  Two more soldiers became bunnies before they could shoot Sclurp, who succeeded in running through the hole in the fence. A different soldier dropped his gun and ran in Jillian’s direction, desperate to get away from the chaos of aliens running through the compound and to avoid the abnormal fate of his comrades. She tried to avoid him, but wasn’t fast enough and they fell in a tangle of arms and legs.

  The wind was knocked out of her and she turned over to her knees and elbows, gasping to regain it. The soldier got to his feet and looked around in desperation. Not seeing anything, he screamed wordlessly and ran. Jillian couldn’t really blame the man for being in panic with all that was happening. She wasn’t too sure about any of it either.

  “Jillian! Are you alright?” Buffy asked, coming back and helping her up by the arm.

  “Yeah,” was all Jillian could get out, although she was able to breathe again. The first thing she did was find the ray gun on the ground and pick it up. There was no way she was going to risk losing it.

  “Good. Nyxulla and Sclurp got away. Let’s rescue the captives and join them.”

  Jillian looked at the building where the teens were being held. “Are we going to turn all of them into bunnies?” she asked, waving her free hand at the remaining soldiers that were gathering in front of the building.

  “That could be a problem.” Buffy studied the situation for a moment. An officer of some sort had come up to the group and was demanding answers. About a dozen soldiers were gathering in front of the door yelling and screaming about aliens and bunnies. There was no way Buffy and Jillian were going to get in with that commotion going on.

  “Let’s go back around the shed until it clears up,” Buffy suggested, guiding her by the arm again. “We’re still invisible and silent. We’ll take the first opportunity to get in and rescue them.”

  Jillian followed willingly. She was overwhelmed by that point and just wanted to go back home to hide under her covers and pretend none of it had ever happened. What in the world am I doing in the jungles of Columbia fighting a drug lord’s soldiers?

  Once they were safely behind the shed, Buffy examined Jillian’s condition. “You have a cut on your elbow and you’ll probably have bruises tomorrow, but you’ll be alright.”

  “Alright?” Jillian asked in a voice tinged by panic. “I just turned three men into emo bunnies and I’m still not exactly sure what an emo bunny is.” She began pacing back and forth. “I’m helping . . . individuals from other planets shoot humans. Am I supposed to be doing that considering I’m human? Am I committing some sort of treason here?”

  “You’re not committing treason,” Buffy assured her. “These people are committing crimes against their own race. Turning them into emo bunnies is a humane punishment for them. They’ll be sad for the rest of their lives and feel remorse for their actions whether they want to or not.”

  Jillian stared at the BEM for a moment. “That’s just silly.”

  “Perhaps, but it really is fitting if you think about it,” Buffy replied with a finger in the air. “In any case, you’re not committing treason. You’re rescuing tortured captives whom you have no alliance to. It’s a very noble and selfless act. I’d recommend you for a medal if we were allowed to tell anyone about your involvement in the matter.”

  “Gee thanks.”

  “But of course. It’s the least I could do if I were able.” Buffy patted her on the arm then peered back around the corner. “Let’s see what’s happening.”

  Jillian moved behind and watched the soldiers. A large, sinister man wearing an expensive looking white suit and hat was yelling at the soldiers who shrank back from his fierce expression. “Scour the woods for aliens! Find them and bring them to me alive.” He looked just like cheesy action movies portrayed a drug lord to be. Jillian thought it very convenient for the man and his soldiers to look exactly like their stereotypes.

  Most of the soldiers headed toward the hole in the fence going to the jungle while the drug lord went inside the building with the captives. Two nervous looking guards remained in front while two others took the place of their fallen comrades in the back.

  Nyxulla called to them over the intercom and Jillian heard it in her earpiece. “Sclurp and I are safe in the ship. We’ve risen above the trees and his wound has been taken care of. Are the two of you alright?”

  “We’re perfectly fine,” Buffy responded while pressing the microphone button. “Most of the soldiers have cleared out. Jillian and I are going to cut a hole in the fence on the side then we’re going to proceed with the rescue.”

  “We are?” Jillian asked, her stomach clenching again. She forgot to push the button.

  “That’s excellent,” Nyxulla responded excitedly. “Thank you for helping, Jillian. I didn’t expect so many things to go wrong. Stay close to Buffy!”

  Jillian pushed the button. “Uhh . . . okay.”

  Buffy led the way to the fence near the side of the shed where the men had been making out. He grabbed a pencil-like cutter from a belt pouch and made quick work of the chain links. Jillian looked around to mak
e sure they weren’t being watched and discovered it to be clear. She wondered if one of the neat cutters had been put in her belt. Maybe they would let her keep it, but it was doubtful.

  “Jillian, I need you to help me zap people,” Buffy told her. Jillian looked into the compound eyes and saw tiny reflections of herself mirrored in each facet. A tiny little voice in the back of her head freaked out and ran away screaming.

  Once it was gone, she took a deep breath and nodded. “I can do that.” She had no clue if what she was doing was right or wrong, but decided to just go with it. Perhaps she would stay in bed tomorrow and stare at the ceiling while contemplating the morality of it all. At the moment, there was no time.

  Buffy led her back around the shed into the wide clearing between it and the building where the captives were. “You take the guard to the right of the door and I’ll take the one to the left. Zap when I tell you to.”

  “Alright,” Jillian agreed apprehensively. She lifted her ray gun and aimed it at the guard on the right. When her hand started shaking, she steadied it by putting both hands on the hilt.

  Buffy watched as the guard on their side went around back. “Shoot now.” Both guards by the door became emo bunnies within an instant of each other. Jillian felt the gun warm in her hand and saw the yellow light dim as she followed the order. It made a slight humming noise when fired that was barely audible, causing her to marvel at the technology. She followed Buffy to the door of the building, wondering if it had a setting for turning people into dinosaurs, dragons or whatever other creatures might exist on other worlds.

  Upon reaching the door, Jillian put her back against the wall with the ray gun pointing up in front of her like they did in the movies. Buffy quickly opened the door and dashed inside while she followed. Buffy shot a soldier on the right and Jillian took out one on the left.

  She studied the situation while waiting for the gun to recharge. A brutal man in a t-shirt was holding a whip while looking in alarm at the bunny Jillian had just created. The drug lord’s head was swiveling back and forth as he looked around for someone to shoot with his pistol. Had Buffy and Jillian not been invisible, they would most likely be dead by that point.

  Hanging from the ceiling on chains attached to shackled wrists were two humanoid aliens. They had brown, scaly skin and were dressed in simple jumpsuits that were dirty and tattered from the abuse the captives were being put through. Their heads were elongated with cottony white hair. A human-like mouth and nose filled the front of the face while four iridescent, rounded, protruding eyes rested in a line underneath a low hanging brow. The female of the pair was sobbing, although the eyes didn’t produce tears. The male appeared to be unconscious. Jillian didn’t know how old they were, but there was something about them that gave her the impression they really were teenagers.

  “Show yourselves or die!” the drug lord ordered. Jillian took a step back, not sure what to do. Buffy had no such qualms and turned the man into a bunny. Jillian’s gun was charged again so she zapped the man with the whip. It was actually easy that time. She hated the idea of people who tortured others.

  The female’s head rose. “H . . . hello?” she called in a soft, broken voice. Once again, the translator technology amazed Jillian.

  “Stay invisible and watch the door, Jillian,” Buffy told her before tapping the invisibility device to become visible to them. The BEM pulled out a bandage and applied it just below the girl’s neck. “We’re here to rescue you, but things aren’t going well. We’re going to be shooting our way out and you need to follow quickly.”

  “A . . . alright,” the girl said while Buffy pulled out another bandage and moved to the other captive. Jillian watched in awe as the girl’s cuts began to quickly heal. Her breathing came easier and the muscles beneath the scales appeared to relax as much as possible in their stretched position. Shortly after receiving a bandage, the male groaned as his injuries began to heal in the same manner. The bandages were vastly more effective than the princess themed ones Jillian had purchased the last time she was at the store.

  The door creaked open further as a nervous soldier cautiously peered inside. Jillian quickly zapped him and stared at the emo bunny that appeared. It turned around and hopped off immediately as though afraid something worse would happen.

  “Well done, Jillian,” Buffy said quietly. She saw the BEM was on a stepladder, carefully cutting shackles to let the girl down. The teen’s knees buckled as she was released and Jillian went to help her up although the girl couldn’t see her. After that, the male’s shackles were cut and he was let down gently with the girl’s help. They stood there rubbing sore wrists and stretching their muscles while Buffy checked their condition. “You’re well enough to escape. I’m going to go invisible and Jillian and I are going to clear the area.” Buffy tapped the microphone button. “The captives are safe and ready. Can you give us any help?”

  Nyxulla’s voice came back through the earpieces for Buffy and Jillian to hear. “We have another invisibility device for Sclurp and are back on the ground. We’ve gotten all but four of the soldiers that came past the fence . . . make that three. Sclurp’s a good shot.”

  Jillian realized that she hadn’t missed yet. It surprised her since her parents had been peace loving hippies in the seventies and had raised her not to commit violence. Perhaps it was the fact that she was transforming people into bunnies instead of killing them that made it different. She thought her parents might actually approve.

  “That’s good. We’re going to go through the hole I made in the side fence. I think we can avoid most of the soldiers and get to safety,” Buffy told Nyxulla.

  “We’re near the back fence again and we’ll cover you,” Nyxulla replied.

  “Thank you.” Buffy tapped the button microphone off. “Jillian, can you scout ahead? I’m going to stay visible and escort these two.”

  She was about to speak before realizing the BEM wouldn’t be able to hear her. She tapped her button and said, “Yes. I’m going through the door now.” Then she tapped the button off.

  “Excellent, Jillian. You’re doing wonderfully and I’m glad you came with,” Buffy said in her general direction.

  Jillian smiled in response even if Buffy wouldn’t be able to see it. She quickly went through the door only to nearly stumble into two more soldiers that were coming from the mansion. They looked wary and had their guns ready. Jillian’s finger spasmed and she shot the nearest one. “Oh, sorry,” she told the bunny that appeared. The other man looked to be an officer. His jaw dropped as he stared in confusion at his transformed comrade.

  She backed to the side and waited for her ray gun to finish recharging. Buffy chose that moment to come through the door. The officer was quickly transformed and both bunnies hopped away to mope over their actions as humans. Another soldier peeked around the far corner of the building and Jillian didn’t waste any time zapping him. Buffy saw the transformation and nodded in satisfaction before disappearing back into the doorway.

  A few soldiers were watching the building from the mansion, but seemed to be afraid to approach. The front gate was a distance away, but Jillian could see the soldiers there running back and forth. She wondered why they hadn’t come to find out what was going on. It occurred to her that maybe they weren’t allowed to abandon vital points like the mansion and front gate. Jillian suddenly worried that the drug lord might have children who would be orphaned. A sudden giggle burst forth when she imagined them sadly petting their emo bunny father.

  “Jillian, we’re coming out. Is it clear?” Buffy asked through her earpiece.

  She jumped at the sound and tapped her button microphone. “Hold on, let me double check.” Jillian focused on the task at hand and scanned the entire area. None of the soldiers at the mansion or front gate looked like they were going to be a threat. She looked at the tower and saw that the guard there had a gun aimed at the doorway of the building. If the aliens came out, they could die.

  Jillian took her ray gun in b
oth hands and aimed at the man in the tower. She squeezed the trigger and the man disappeared. The walls of the tower were high enough that she wouldn’t be able to see the bunny. For a moment, she worried about the bunny being so high in a tower, but Buffy’s voice came through her earpiece. “Jillian? Is everything alright?”

  “Yes. It’s safe now. There are still soldiers at the front gate and the mansion, but they’re taking defensive positions and I think we’ll be able to get clear without difficulty.” Jillian hoped so anyway. She tapped the button to turn it off again.

  Buffy came out of the building with the teens behind. Jillian moved ahead of them to the clearing between the building and the shed. She made certain it was clear, looking in every direction. The soldiers by the mansion panicked at the sight of aliens escaping. Buffy zapped one who raised a gun. Jillian shot at another, but missed for the first time. She didn’t know if the ray hit the wall behind him or something else entirely because there was no visible light emitting from the ray gun and the low hum didn’t give a clue either.

  “Behind the shed,” Buffy told the teens, pointing in that direction. They ran with Buffy following. Jillian moved more slowly while staying between them and the soldiers who were half-heartedly yelling at each other to attack. None of them took any initiative to do so and one even ran away screaming toward the gate. When he got there, he bawled and begged to be let out.

  The teens were going through the fence when Jillian came around the shed. She made one last scan of the area before following Buffy out. When the BEM stopped to look around, Jillian tapped her button. “I’m nearby. Get them to the ship and I’ll keep you covered.”