Summer of the Weeping Rain

by Yvonne Whittal

'It mattered to me,' he stated calmly. 'I haven't had the opportunity yet to thank you for the present you gave me.'

  Lisa stiffened beneath his hands, shying away from the sudden intimacy that sprang up between them in the darkness, but before she could say anything, Adam was kissing her quite thoroughly on her trembling lips.

  'That was just to say thank you,' he said in that infuriatingly calm manner when he released her. 'Now we'd better go downstairs or everyone will think I'm lost as well.'

  Lisa said nothing, deciding to ignore the incident, but her legs were shaking beneath her as they descended the stairs, and she would have tripped on the bottom step had Adam's hand not gripped her elbow so firmly. She had a vague suspicion that her cheeks were flushed when they entered the living-room, but, for once, the three women were too engrossed in conversation to spare her more than a cursory glance.

  'More wine, ladies?' Adam offered, and the glasses were quickly refilled.

  Lisa drank hers slowly, allowing the faintly intoxicating drink to steady her nerves while she watched her mother's animated face as the three women exchanged memories. She looked happy and contented, Lisa thought, but the past five years had not been easy for her mother since her father's death. There had not been much in the way of insurance, and Lisa had still had two years at university to get through before she could earn a living for herself, so her mother had had to go out to work. Her typing had become rusty after years of being nothing but a mother and housewife, but she had found a job as a typist/clerk in a clothing store, and when the house was sold they at least had something to fall back on in times of trouble. There was now no necessity for her mother to work, but she had stayed on at the store, and she was now quite happy in her position as the manager's private secretary.

  'It's hot inside,' Adam interrupted her thoughts. 'Shall we go out on to the verandah?' Lisa hesitated, but Adam rose to his feet and leaned over her slightly. 'Come on, don't look so seared.'

  'I'm not scared.'

  'Then prove it,' he challenged, straightening and holding out his hand, palm upwards.

  She stared at that strong, beautifully-shaped hand for a moment, her nerves tightening at the pit of her stomach, then she placed her hand in his and allowed him to draw her to her feet.

  'Just breathe that air,' he said, taking a deep breath as he drew her out on to the verandah and towards the cane chairs. 'Will you miss all this when you have to return to the city?'

  'I shall miss it very much,' she admitted, trying to relax in her chair while her glance went involuntarily to the stars glittering so brightly in the dark, velvety sky.

  'You could stay, you know.'

  'As what?' she demanded a little cynically. 'As an extra farm-hand, perhaps?'

  'Perhaps,' he laughed shortly, 'but I had something far more satisfying and rewarding in mind.'

  Lisa stiffened at the odd inflection in his voice, and she glanced at him quickly. Seated in the moonlight beside her, he appeared to be calm and relaxed, but she knew that every muscle in that large frame was geared for action at the slightest provocation.

  'I don't think I want to know, thank you,' she said abruptly.

  'You're not even a little bit curious?'

  'No, I'm not.'

  'A pity,' he murmured, stretching himself out in his chair and turning so that he could see her more clearly. 'I was so certain you would be interested.'

  Lisa stared down at her hands locked so tightly in her lap. 'I have the feeling that you're mocking me for some reason, Adam.'

  'Teasing, little one. Not mocking,' he corrected her softly, and she raised her uncertain glance to his.

  'Why should you want to do that?'

  'To entice you out of that shell of yours,' he announced a little harshly. 'You've crawled so deep into it lately that I'm beginning to despair for you.'

  'There's no need for you to concern yourself about me. It's comfortable in that shell of mine, and I'm quite happy, thank you,' she told him coldly.

  'Are you happy, Lisa?'

  The question was asked softly, and with a certain sincerity that made her want to cry out, 'No, no, I'm not happy,' but instead she said stiffly: 'I'm as happy as anyone can expect to be.'

  'That sounds like the lament of an embittered old maid.'

  Her laughter bubbled unexpectedly past her lips. 'I suppose it does.'

  'You'll never be an old maid, Lisa,' he said, leaning for-ward in his chair as he held her nervous glance. 'And bitterness doesn't suit a mouth like yours that was made exclusively for kissing.'

  She shrank from him mentally and physically. 'I wish you wouldn't say things like that.'

  'My, God, I'd like to do more than just say things like that to you!' he exploded. 'I'd like to kiss you out of that shell of yours until you became a living, vibrating woman again.'

  'Adam!' she exclaimed in a shocked voice as she jumped to her feet, the suggested intimacy of his statement making her treacherous body tingle responsibly.

  'Sit down,' he said quietly, but Lisa much preferred to seek the safety of the living-room where their conversation would have to be limited to impersonal subjects.

  'I think—'

  'Sit down!' he repeated in a harsh, deadly voice, and Lisa found herself obeying, albeit reluctantly. 'I wish I knew why you're always so quick to take offence,' he continued a little more gently.

  'You have no right to speak to me the way you do,' she replied unsteadily, keeping her eyes lowered to her hands.

  'You've said that before, and I'd like to know why you feel I have no right to speak to you in the way I do.'

  'Because you're engaged to Willa,' the words sprang to her lips, but she bit them back forcibly, and said instead: 'Because you're my employer.'

  'Is that the only reason?'

  Lisa's heart leapt wildly, and fear of her feelings being discovered made her resort to anger. 'Must we pursue this subject?'

  'Don't answer my question with another.'

  'Why are you so persistent?' she demanded exasperatedly.

  'Because I'm trying to find out why you shy away from me whenever I come close to discussing something personal, while I know damn well that you enjoy my kisses.'

  She sucked her breath in sharply, but she regained control of herself and asked casually, 'Is it a crime to enjoy a man's kisses without wanting it to go further than that?'

  'You damn little liar!' His voice was like thunder, low and threatening before the storm, and her nerves reacted violently as he gripped the arms of her chair and brought his harsh face within centimetres of her own. 'I've a good mind to prove to you just how much of a liar you are, but it would most probably shock your prim little soul to such an extent that you'd never recover.'

  The moonlight played across his face a little cruelly, accentuating the greyness at his temples, the deep grooves running from nose to mouth, and the shadowy cleft in the square, resolute jaw, but it was the hard, angry glitter in his eyes, and the tightness about that often sensual mouth that frightened her most. Would he carry out his threat and prove, beyond doubt, just how susceptible she was to his lovemaking, or was it merely a threat he had no intention of carrying out?

  Lisa was not too sure, but she knew she had to break the angry silence between them and, with her heart drumming louder than the sound of the crickets in the undergrowth, she said softly, almost pleadingly, 'Don't you think this conversation has gone far enough?'

  'Yes, you're right,' he snapped, moving away from her almost as if he could not bear her near him. 'Quite far enough.'

  The atmosphere was strained between them when they returned to the living-room, and when the clock crawled closer to midnight without anyone showing any sign of going to bed, Lisa pleaded a headache and went up to her room.

  Upset, hurt and bewildered, she tried not to think of her conversation with Adam, but it was useless. Her mind was in an unhappy turmoil. Why did he deliberately go out of his way to hurt her? Why could he not leave her alone? Why did he persist in seeking
her out when he knew that he was practically engaged to Willa? Was he such a rake that a commitment of such a serious nature meant nothing to him?

  Question after question swivelled through her mind, but to none of them could she find an answer, and she finally groaned into her pillow, 'Oh, God, I wish I could understand!'

  She tried to analyse Adam's behaviour, but the more she tried, the more bewildered she became until at last she was forced to relinquish the effort, and slipped into a troubled sleep.

  Lisa was awakened early on Christmas morning with the twins barging noisily into her room.

  'Let's get dressed. Quick!' they begged, bouncing excitedly on her bed and pulling at the sheets. 'We want to go and see if the ponies have come.'

  'Then you'd better get out of here so I can get dressed first,' Lisa announced sleepily, stifling a yawn, and the twins hurried out again, slamming the door behind them in their excitement.

  In a paddock close to the homestead, they later came across two Shetland ponies standing side by side as they nibbled at the grass, and raised their heads to toss their manes proudly as Lisa approached with the children.

  'Oooh… they're beautiful!' the twins cooed excitedly as the ponies moved away a little warily, their brown coats smooth and shiny in the sunshine. 'Can we ride them now?'

  Lisa shook her head firmly. 'You'll have to wait for your uncle.'

  'I'm here,' a deep voice announced, and she swung round to see Adam coming towards them with Petrus following behind him, carrying two small saddles. Hatless, and in brown pants and beige sweater instead of his usual khaki, Adam looked strikingly different, and her heart skipped an involuntary beat at the sight of him, but he afforded her no more than a brief glance. 'Are you both ready for your first lesson?'

  'Yes, yes,' the twins chorused. 'Can we help Petrus saddle the ponies?'

  'Yes, if you like,' Adam agreed readily, 'but be careful.'

  The children climbed through the wooden railings with the dark-skinned man who was Adam's most trusted worker on the farm, and Lisa could not prevent herself from smiling at their eagerness.

  'It's Christmas Day,' Adam announced quietly beside her and, as she glanced up at him quickly, she saw his hand extended towards her. 'Do we call a truce?'

  'Yes, of course,' she replied without hesitation, and her hand almost disappeared in his brief, warm clasp.

  Amusement lurked in his eyes suddenly as he asked wryly, 'Do you think we'll manage to keep it up for one whole day?'

  'I shall certainly try,' she smiled humorously, her eyes sparkling like clear pools of fathomless water: 'And you?'

  He touched her cheek lightly with his fingers. 'I could manage anything, little one, when you look at me like that, and smile.'

  Lisa felt her cheeks grow warm and she looked beyond him. 'I think the children are becoming impatient.'

  'So am I, Lisa,' he smiled a little crookedly as he swung himself over the rail into the paddock. 'So am I.'

  With her eyes narrowed against the sun, she stared after him as he walked with those long, familiar strides towards the children, and helped them to mount. What had he meant? she wondered frowningly as Josh and Kate's riding lesson began in earnest. Had he perhaps been referring to his own impatience to set a date for his marriage to Willa?

  Lisa hastily clamped down on her thoughts as pain stabbed at her heart. She would never understand Adam, and it was futile to try. His odd and senseless remarks lately merely served to mystify her, so she concentrated instead on the twins while they received their first riding lesson under the expert guidance of their uncle.

  Adam displayed remarkable patience with the children, but they proved to be apt pupils, responding quickly to his calm instructions, and glowing with happiness whenever he praised them.

  The early morning sun was stinging Lisa's arms and legs, and she was beginning to feel redundant when her aunt, returning from an early morning stroll, joined her at the fence to watch the proceedings in the paddock. The sun was too hot for Molly's delicate skin, however, and Lisa suggested that they seek shelter in the shady garden.

  'I think we'd better sit down somewhere,' her aunt groaned after a while. 'I feel as though I've been trudging across the veld for hours!'

  'There's a bench just under those trees,' Lisa said concernedly, taking her aunt's arm and guiding her in the right direction.

  'Oh, that's better,' Molly sighed a few moments later as she lowered herself on to the wooden bench and kicked off her shoes. 'My feet are killing me!'

  Lisa sat down beside her. 'Is Mother still asleep?'

  'Yes, poor dear,' Molly laughed mischievously. 'I dressed quietly and sneaked out without waking her. It's such a gorgeous morning, and smell that fresh country air!' She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. 'I just can't get enough of it.'

  'It's going to be another long, hot day, and we'll begin to droop before the sun is much higher.'

  'Don't remind me,' her aunt groaned, removing her scarf from her head and fastening it loosely about her throat. 'You like it here, don't you.'

  It was a statement, not a question, and so typical of Molly Anstey that Lisa smiled at her humorously. 'Yes, it's hot and dusty as I once said, but I like it here very much.'

  'You know, Lisa,' her aunt said after a thoughtful pause, 'Adam reminds me very much of my late husband Luke.'

  The smile froze on Lisa's lips, and she tensed automatically. 'Does he?'

  'Luke was just as tall and broad in the shoulders, and whenever he held me in those strong arms of his, it used to make me feel as though nothing in the world could harm me. I felt loved and protected at the same time, and Luke was the only man who ever succeeded in making me completely and utterly aware of my femininity, which was quite wonderful.' She paused and glanced curiously at Lisa. 'Doesn't Adam make you feel that way? AD feminine and helpless when he looks at you?'

  Lisa shrugged with affected casualness. 'I can't say I've noticed.'

  'Oh, Lisa, my dear!' Molly laughed disbelievingly. 'You would have to be blind not to have noticed Adam Vandeleur's wonderful physique, and he simply oozes a virile masculinity that would make any woman's heart behave like a wild thing. I know mine does whenever I see him.'

  'Aunt Molly!' Lisa exclaimed in a shocked voice.

  'It's true,' her aunt stated adamantly, her mischievous glance meeting Lisa's. 'If I were twenty years younger, my girl, you wouldn't stand a chance.'

  Lisa smiled stiffly and figured the pleats of her skirt. 'What makes you think I'm interested enough to want a chance?'

  'I've seen that certain look in your eyes whenever he is about.'

  'Oh?'

  Despite her efforts to appear cool and disinterested, her cheeks went pink, and Molly Anstey smiled triumphantly when her keen glance noticed Lisa's heightened colour.

  'You're in love with him, aren't you,' she stated with that shrewdness Lisa had dreaded so much.

  'He's my employer, Aunt Molly,' she said with a hint of hostility in her voice as she jumped to her feet and moved about agitatedly.

  'So what!' her aunt exploded indignantly, patting the seat beside her with an impatient hand. 'Oh, come and sit down again, and stop being so fidgety and uppity.'

  'I must go and see how the children's riding lesson is going on.'

  'Adam is managing them superbly, and he's quite capable of looking after them for a while.' Grey eyes regarded Lisa intently when she resumed her seat. 'You do love him, don't you?'

  'I admire and respect him,' Lisa evaded the question.

  'You should admire and respect the man you love,' her aunt acknowledged with a look of satisfaction on her delicately-boned face, and Lisa sought refuge in anger as she had done so often lately.

  'Aunt Molly, I wish you and Mother would stop prying, and trying to read something significant into my association with Adam Vandeleur,' she accused coldly. 'He's my employer, and that's all!'

  Molly Anstey smiled that infuriatingly knowledgeable smile of hers. 'Do you real
ly expect me to believe that?'

  'Yes, I do,' Lisa sighed exasperatedly. 'In less than a month I shall be leaving here. I shall go back to teaching, and Adam and I won't ever see each other again.'

  'And it doesn't upset you? The thought of leaving, I mean?'

  'I shall miss the children very much,' Lisa answered quietly, observing her aunt's incredulous expression with a flicker of self-satisfaction. 'And now you must excuse me.'

  'But Lisa…' Molly Anstey began when Lisa was a few paces away from her.

  'I don't wish to discuss the subject further,' Lisa swung round to interrupt her coldly.

  The older woman was now totally confused. 'But I was so sure—'

  'You were mistaken,' Lisa cut in decisively. 'You and Mother are both mistaken. Adam Vandeleur is not the man for me. See you later, Aunt Molly.'

  Lisa walked blindly up to the house. From the direction of the paddock came the sound of the children's happy laughter, and quite suddenly she felt incredibly lonely. There was no place for her here at Fairview, and soon not even the twins would need her.

  At the breakfast table Josh and Kate were bubbling over with enthusiasm as they related their achievements to everyone. They were perhaps a little over-confident, but Adam was forced to admit that they were doing splendidly. A new bond was being forged between himself and the children, and they responded hungrily to every word of praise he bestowed on them. He was their hero, and they would be his willing slaves, just as she would be for one glimmer of true warmth in those dark eyes of his.

  When the breakfast was over, the Coloured farm-hands came to the homestead with their wives and children, and Adam gave each one a present individually. When this was done, the men and women regrouped themselves and, with Petrus and Daisy taking the lead, the singing began. They sang songs of Christmas, their voices blending and harmonising in joyful, happy songs, and for Lisa, standing on the back stoep between her mother and her aunt, it was a moment she knew she would remember for the rest of her life.

  Lisa's throat tightened, and hot tears welled up into her eyes. When the time came for her to leave, she thought, she would at least be taking memories with her that no one and nothing could erase.