The Keys to Jericho

by Ren Alexander

  I snap, “No one sees my dick.”

  She raises an eyebrow as she giggles. “I do right now.”

  “Yeah. Only you.”

  “Oh, come on. You’ve slept with other women,” she teases, but her eyebrows crease and her smile drops as she looks back to her phone.

  “Yeah, but… Except with, Blair, and when my girlfriend Anya in high school…” I sigh. “After them, I always made sure it was dark, and over fast. I didn’t let anyone gawk at me.”

  Her gaze wavers between curious and scared as she asks, “Really? Why?”

  I shove my overexposed cock into my underwear and zip up my fly. “I keep to myself, if you haven’t noticed by now.”

  She nods and the smile returns to her face. “So, you wouldn’t want me to send a dick pic to your best friends?”

  Buckling my belt, I shout, “Fuck, no!” She giggles, tapping at her phone and I say, “Kat, I’m fucking serious. Don’t do it.”

  Her gaze drops to my crotch and she says, “You definitely have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “But I don’t do that kind of shit! That’s something Dash would do, and probably has done before!”

  Her smile turns rueful. “Oh, well, that’s who I just sent it to.”

  “What?” I roar as I reach for her phone, snagging it from her. When I look at the screen, I see a text she had been composing to me.

  ------------------------------------------

  I just owned you, Jared Beckett ;)

  ------------------------------------------

  Peering up at her, I breathe a sigh of relief and scowl. “I knew that.”

  “Did not.” She leans over, giving me a kiss. “You’re right, as usual. Only I get to see your dick.” Her fingers brush at my hair above my forehead. “I would never do that to you, baby.”

  “And do you think I’d really let anyone see your pussy?”

  She shakes her head. “Probably not.”

  “Definitely not,” I correct her, setting her phone down. Giving her another kiss, I grab the container of wipes and say, “Let’s get out of here and get some dinner. We have an announcement to make soon.”

  “Right after I send this picture to my dad.” She giggles as I wipe off my steering wheel.

  “Then you and I won’t be having sex anymore, not to mention me not getting you pregnant after he finds me and rips off my nuts.” I heavily sigh. “I guess we would have to go back to being just friends.”

  She grips my shirt. “You’re right again. We were never just friends.”

  I whisper, “Soulmates,” but then we both say in tandem, “But don’t tell Dash.”

  We laugh and Kat asks, “Speaking of him, what do you think he and Rio will say?”

  I shrug. “Who in the fuck knows? Regardless, I think they’ll both be shocked as hell.”

  “To say the least. Which one will be your best man?”

  I lean my head back and roll my eyes. “Christ. I don’t know.” I then roll my head to look at her beautiful face. “How do I pick one?”

  “Well, you can flip a coin. Or pick Dash because he’s your oldest friend. Or you could pick Rio, since I think you’re closer to him. Or…”

  “Or?”

  “Maybe do what I’m considering.”

  “What’s that?”

  She wickedly grins, and I know this is going to be something awesome or something that’s going to scare the shit out of me.

  I’m guessing the latter.

  Fucking hell.

  CHAPTER 32

  Checking my phone after dinner, I notice a missed call from Rio and several texts, asking about Kat and me. I decide to leave him hanging until tonight, as any best friend would do.

  When we arrive at my dad’s, Hadley’s black Toyota is in the driveway. What is it with everyone in my immediate family or friends having black vehicles? Lining them up, it’d look like a funeral procession, or Johnny Cash’s entourage. However, Libby has a white car, which entirely makes me feel validated about people in my inner circle.

  Before getting out of my car, Kat takes off her ring and says, “We can wait to tell your sister at the club with everyone. That way she doesn’t have to keep a secret.”

  “Do not lose it tonight. If you’re going to dance, give it to me to hold onto.”

  “You’re not going to dance with me?”

  I scowl at her hopeful expression. “I don’t do that shit.”

  “Maybe Dash will.”

  “Probably. It wouldn’t surprise me. As long as he has an audience, he’ll do anything.”

  She giggles. “How true. I found out his middle name. I’m surprised you don’t tease him for it.”

  I scoff, “With his stripper/lesbian mother, his oral obsession with shoving a stick into his mouth, his truckload of stock in Aqua Net, and his looking like Peter Pan as his showstoppers, his name doesn’t really rank up there as a go-to punchline.”

  “I like his name. It suits him.”

  “Yeah. Fussy, frilly, and bizarre. That’s Dashiell Paris Calder, alright.”

  “Be nice.”

  “That was the nice version. I was going to say he’s pissy, prissy, and fucked up.”

  “Jared Adam Beckett!” She laughs and I roll my eyes. Only the trifecta coming from my father carries any authoritative weight.

  “What’s Rio’s middle name?”

  “Gabriel.” I get out of the car and go to the garage door to punch in the code.

  Behind me, Kat asks, “That’s it? Kind of a letdown.”

  “He’s named after his dad, too. Why? What were you expecting?”

  Glancing at her, she shrugs. “He’s called Rio and River. I just thought it’d be unique.”

  “Guess not. I hate to hear what you think of mine.”

  “It’s sexy.”

  I smirk at her as we wait for the rising garage door. “How sexy?”

  She shakes her head. “I can’t tell you that.”

  “Why not?”

  “You wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

  “Fuck.”

  Looking over her shoulder, Kat changes the subject, asking, “Should I get a car like your sister’s?”

  Walking through the garage, I shrug. “Whatever you want.” Grinning and peering behind me, I say, “I’ll teach you how to drive a stick. You’ve proven to be good at driving mine.”

  She swiftly shakes her head, ignoring most of my comment. “No way. I’ll leave that alone.”

  “Come on. It’s not hard, but it would make me hard watching you.”

  Trying not to smile, she scoffs, “Hardly.”

  Entering the utility room, I hear my dad’s voice in the kitchen. Kat pulls on my shirt and I stop before we enter the kitchen. She whispers, “Are we dating?”

  “Huh?”

  She rolls her eyes. “I mean, are we friends or more, since Hadley doesn’t know yet?”

  “Friends, I guess? It’ll be a bigger shock if it came out of nowhere, right?”

  Kat nods and I give her a quick kiss before heading into the kitchen.

  Dad says, “Hey, you two. We just had dinner, but there is plenty of food left.”

  “No, thanks.” I turn to Kat and ask, “You want anything?”

  “No, thank you.”

  I look around. “Where’s Hadley?”

  “She just ran upstairs to change and call Finn, I think.” He lowers his voice and says, “I didn’t tell her about…” He glances at Kat’s finger and when he sees the ring missing, he darts his gaze back to me, confused. “You still are…?”

  “Yeah. Just waiting until later to tell everyone. So for now, play along.”

  He nods. “Okay.” He turns to Kat and says, “I thought maybe you had a change of heart.” Nodding at me, he laughs. “You know, his house-building skills are kind of lacking.”

  Kat says, “He’s okay. I’m still considering him to design my house someday.”

  “Gee whiz. Thanks. I hope I’m allowed to drop by for a drink w
hen it’s done.”

  “Maybe I’ll have you over some Thanksgiving.”

  “I’ll mark my calendar,” I tease. She laughs and I roll my eyes at her.

  “So what have you guys been up to today?” Dad asks, turning to take a drink of his water.

  Grinning, my gaze travels over Kat. He doesn’t need to know everything we’ve been doing today. When my dad turns back to us, I look at him and say, “Nothing. I, uh, met her dad.”

  “Oh? How’d that go?”

  I mutter, “It was alright.” Just a joyride through Hell.

  Kat says, “He was nervous.” Understatement of the millennium.

  “Was not,” I protest, trying to hold onto the last ounce of my pride. Kat giggles and I ask, “Weren’t you nervous meeting my dad?”

  She looks at Dad and then to me. “I didn’t know he was your dad when I met him, so no.”

  “His last name wasn’t suspicious to you?”

  “My mom didn’t say his last name.”

  I shake my head. “So close, yet always so far.”

  “For?” Hadley asks, walking into the kitchen. We turn to see her and she says, “Hi.”

  Kat smiles. “Hi.”

  I mumble, “Hey.”

  Dad asks Hadley, “I thought you were talking to Finn.”

  “He didn’t answer his phone.”

  Sliding my hands into my pockets, I check the clock above the sink. “We have to wait to pick up Dash. He has to ‘be somewhere’ first and will be home in about an hour. Not sure what that means, and I was afraid to ask. It probably involves glitter and some state of undress.”

  Kat snickers, making me laugh, and Hadley says, “He’s so funny.”

  My laughter turns to a scowl. “If you think exasperation is funny.”

  Kat laughs. “Stop!”

  Shrugging at Kat, I state, “Like I said, I was being nice. I’m giving you a ride to the club. See? Nice.”

  Raising an eyebrow, Hadley scoffs, “How chivalrous of you. I hope you’re not expecting favors in return.”

  I roll my eyes at my sister. “I didn’t say she had to ride me. Jesus.”

  “Jared Adam.” Dad takes a seat on a barstool and peruses the newspaper he still has delivered, and probably will until they become extinct.

  Grinning, I avoid looking at Kat, since I know she’s glaring at me and throwing daggers into the back of my skull.

  Kat says, “I just realized how not shy Dash is about showing off his body.”

  Desperately trying to sound casual, I turn to her and ask, “What’s that mean?”

  “Let’s just say that when I didn’t feel like going to my driving class, he threatened me with nudity.”

  I snap, “What the hell?”

  Kat nods. “His curtains definitely match his drapes.”

  Gaping at her, I then snarl, “I’ll snap that curtain rod of his in half.”

  Hadley suspiciously asks, “Why does it matter if Kat saw Dash naked?”

  Realizing that I’m getting off track, I clear my throat and shrug. “Because his mom used to be a stripper. He’s used to that shit, but he shouldn’t be showing himself off as a joke. It’s bad enough that I’ve seen enough of his dick.”

  Dad sighs, shaking his head over his paper. “I’m not even going to ask.”

  I cringe. “Please, don’t.”

  Kat laughs. “He didn’t go that far. You know how silly Dash can be.”

  “Unfortunately. Silly isn’t the word I’d use, though.”

  Walking over, Hadley smacks my arm before giving me a hug. “Behave, little brother.” I feel Kat watching me to see how I respond to my sister, so I give Hadley a brief squeeze and she steps back, looking at my chest. “I bought you that shirt.”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  “I like the color on you.”

  Kat says, “I told him that, too.”

  I say, “It sure does attract compliments from women amongst my family and friends.”

  Kat giggles. “Don’t worry. Dash will like it, too.”

  I roll my eyes. “Awesome.”

  Grabbing a water from the fridge. Hadley offers it to Kat and then one to me, before getting one for herself. Twisting off the cap, Hadley asks, “Dad told me you’re helping Kat get a license?” Kat and I both nod. “How’s that going?” She looks from me to Kat, alternating, as we both glance at each other.

  Kat says, “It’s going well, I guess. I haven’t run over anyone or totaled another car.”

  Now it’s my turn to say, “Stop.” I shoot her an annoyed look. “You’re doing great. We need to practice more tomorrow. You only have a couple weeks’ worth of classes left.”

  Hadley asks, “You also have to take a class?”

  Kat nods. “Yeah. So the class I took in high school was a waste.”

  “Not totally,” I argue.

  Hadley says, “Well, you did meet my brother. I want to apologize on behalf of the school for that.”

  Kat laughs and I shoot her another look that only makes her giggle more.

  I grumble, “You two are hilarious. Paybacks are hell, I hear.”

  Grinning, Kat says, “Indeed.”

  I growl before taking a drink of my water. This is going to be a fucked-up night.

  Hadley says to Kat, “I’m so glad you’re riding with us. I don’t think I could bear to ride with him alone.”

  Swallowing my water, I say, “Don’t forget about Calder. He’ll be especially on fire with you tonight, since your bodyguard is off duty. You’ll have to beat him off with a stick. Or your hand, I guess.” I take another sip of my water just as Hadley’s eyes fearfully widen, and I nearly spit out my mouthful of water, choking on a sudden laugh.

  This time, Kat and my dad both yell, “Jared!”

  Hadley’s face turns red, but she laughs. “Like you’d say that if Finn were here.”

  I shrug. “No, I probably wouldn’t have for Dash’s sake. He bruises easily.” From behind me, Kat scoffs, and I grin wider, amused she’s silently defending Calder, even though I want to kill him for stripping in front of Kat.

  Kat says, “I think Finn would punch you in the face for saying that.”

  I laugh. “Right.”

  Hadley says, “He’d probably just laugh.”

  I narrow my eyes at Hadley. “You don’t think he’d be pissed off at the thought of you and Dash together, even as a joke?”

  Hadley shakes her head. “Nope.”

  I scowl at her. “He would be. Trust me.”

  She still argues, “I don’t think he’d care.”

  Dad asks, “Why would you think that?”

  Hadley shrugs. “As long as I don’t draw attention to the fact that he has a girlfriend, he doesn’t care what I do.”

  Dad frowns and sits straighter. “What?”

  Hadley meekly says, “He doesn’t advertise the fact that he isn’t single.”

  Seeing the cautious ire brewing in my dad’s gaze, he asks, “He’s not cheating on you is he?”

  Hadley looks away, but replies, “No.”

  He says, “He’d better not be or I’d have something to say to him about that.”

  Kat says for me, “As would your brother.”

  Biting the inside of my cheek, I nod at Hadley and she dubiously rolls her eyes at me. I warn, “Don’t think I wouldn’t.”

  She watches me, still in doubt, as she takes a drink of her water. Toying with my bottle cap, I ask, “So, Finn ran off to the woods?”

  “Yeah. I think. I don’t know if it’s a campground or somewhere else. They go every so often.”

  “Sounds intriguing,” I drone, glad that I don’t have to explain myself to him tonight.

  Kat says to my sister, “I like your nail polish.”

  She looks at her dark red nails. “Thanks.”

  Kat frowns and looks at her nails. “I wish I had done mine. I’ve been busy.” Yeah. Doing me.

  Hadley offers, “I have some remover and polish upstairs. You can use what
ever.”

  “Yeah, thank you. Can I borrow some hairspray, too?”

  I snort. “You’re asking the wrong person for hairspray. That’s Calder’s department.”

  Hadley laughs and says, “Sure. Come on.”

  Kat glances at me with a smile before leaving the room with my sister, which makes me even more nervous than being with her dad today, wondering what they’re going to say to each other about me.

  “What’s wrong?” Dad asks.

  Shaking my head, I drone, “Uh...”

  The wall phone rings and he leans over to pick it up. Sounding work-related and boring, I go into the living room and start flipping channels, while glancing to the staircase every five seconds, which makes the hour drag.

  When Kat and Hadley eventually come down the stairs, Kat’s hair is pinned or something, her makeup is heavier, and her shirt is unbuttoned more. Who does she need to dress up for to go to a club? She’s practically married for Christ’s sake! To me!

  Hadley asks, “Doesn’t Kat look nice?” Nice? She’s walking the thin line of looking like a prostitute and a naughty schoolteacher. I love it.

  I hate it.

  Looking away from Kat before Hadley sees me gawking at her, I notice my sister wearing more makeup, too, looking like Kat’s tag-team partner on a street corner. I irritably ask Hadley, “Do you think your boyfriend would in any way approve of you dressing like that, going to a bar without him?”

  Hadley shakes her head, the same dark golden hair color as mine, shaking over her shoulders. “Probably not, but he isn’t here, so I guess he doesn’t get a say.” And there we go. Finally hit that nerve. Smooth move, Finn. The more I hear, the more he’s pissing me off and he’s not even present.

  Leaning forward and raising an eyebrow at Kat, I ask her, “What about you? Don’t you think your boyfriend would have issues with you looking like that?”

  She shrugs, but glares at me. “I don’t have a boyfriend, but if I did, he’d know that I’m dressing up for me, not to pick up guys.”

  Hadley agrees, “Really. Why are we automatically trolling for men if we’re dressed up? Can’t we look nice just for ourselves?”

  Kat answers her, but directs it at me, “Silly boys.”

  I roll my eyes at their female bonding, suddenly feeling outrageously outnumbered.