by Elin Peer
Sucking in a breath, Charles nodded. “You’re right. He always said that I shouldn’t limit myself and that I should reach for the stars. That’s what being with you feels like.”
“Right back at ya.” I kissed him and licked his upper lip. I should leave well enough alone, but with everything I’d learned about Conor Bricks this morning, I couldn’t help myself. “It seems odd, though.” Rolling out of bed, I walked to the bathroom. This time, I did it naked for one major reason; I wanted Charles to see that I felt bonded to him and that our relationship had moved to the next level. He had asked me to keep my clothes off yesterday morning when I needed to use the bathroom, but I hadn’t been ready at that time.
After what Kit had told me today, I would have walked naked through the street to get Charles out of Conor’s claws.
“What is odd?”
“Him telling you to dream big and reach for the stars. But then when you do it, he makes you doubt it. Seems strange to me.” I strategically closed the door in that moment, allowing my words to linger behind me.
When I came back out, Charles was getting dressed.
“Do you have to go?”
“I thought about it. It’s stupid that you’re paying for a hotel room when I live in the Dublin area. You’re my girlfriend and I want you to stay with me. God knows, I pay plenty for the room I have.”
“How much do you pay?”
“A lot more than you pay for this room, but it’s not important.”
“Why is it so expensive to live there?”
“It’s not. Conor lets us pay what we want to. He encourages us to pay equal to what we’re getting out of living there. Since I’ve been very happy with what I’ve gained, I’ve been generous in my contribution to the family.”
“Ah, I see. But are you sure they will allow you to let me stay with you?”
He got my suitcase and opened it on the bed. “Tell you what. If any of them have a problem with you living with me, I’ll book us into the nicest hotel there is.”
“I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”
Charles walked over and with an appreciative glance down my naked body, he pulled me close. “Are you kidding me? You’re the best thing in my life.”
I melted into a puddle on the floor, or at least that’s how it felt, but then he smacked my butt.
“Now pack your things, I’m double parked.”
“Can I dress first?” I wiggled my eyebrows.
“Only if you promise to undress again the moment we’re in my room.”
Charles helped me by collecting everything from the closet and bringing it to the bed where my suitcase was. When he was about to open the drawer where my underwear was, I got nervous. That’s where I kept the report and his diary.
“Hey, would you mind packing the things in the bathroom? There’s a toiletry bag under the sink.”
“Sure.”
As soon as he obliged and went into the bathroom, I cleared out the drawer and packed the report and diary under a pile of clothes in my suitcase.
“Was that all?” he asked a few minutes later as we both looked around.
“Yes.”
“All right, then let’s get you checked out.” He took the biggest of my suitcases and opened the door
“Actually.” I bit my lip. “I’ve prepaid for the room for the next two days. Do you mind if I don’t check out? Just in case you let Conor into your head again and I need a place to stay.”
Charles stopped and gave me a serious look. “That’s not going to happen. I’ve made up my mind that I want to be with you, and I mean it.”
“I want that too, but you can’t blame me for keeping a back door open, just in case you change your mind again.”
Closing his eyes, he sighed. “I’m sorry for making you doubt me. I want you to feel safe with me.”
“Ditto.”
There was a smile between us full of unspoken promises and then he held the door for me as I exited the room with my cabin-sized bag on wheels.
All the way back to Howth, we listened to music and talked about our favorite things. We discovered that Charles preferred the fall while I preferred the spring, that his favorite color was blue while mine was green.
“But what about food? If you could only eat one category of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
Charles thought about it. “Maybe salad; the variations are endless.”
“Salad?” I wrinkled my nose. “No way; I’d live off cake.”
“You can’t live off cake. There’s no nutritional value in cake.”
“Who said we had to think of health? I was talking about taste only.”
“Salad is still the better option.”
“Salad is boring.”
“Then what about soup? There’s a lot of different kinds to pick from.”
I shook my head. “Most people I ask this question always say pizza.”
“Why?”
“Because pizza is a favorite for many and you can make it into a dessert too.”
“Dessert? How do you make pizza into a dessert?”
I lowered my brow. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a cinnamon and sugar pizza or a Nutella pizza.”
Charles looked disgusted. “Is that a thing?”
“Yes! It’s a big thing because it’s delicious.”
“Nah, I’d still pick soup or salad.”
“Slugbug.” I slapped his arm when a yellow Volkswagen Beetle passed us.
“Why are you hitting me and what the hell is a slugbug?”
I stared at him in disbelief. “You’ve never played slugbug?”
“No.”
“My sister and I did it all the time. Whenever you see a Beetle you get to punch the other and if it’s a convertible you get two punches. All kids play that game and it’s one of the reasons that I drive a Beetle myself. I love that I get to carry on the tradition.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t have any siblings and I assure you my grandfather never shouted ‘slugbug.’”
I laughed. “Then it’s a good thing you have me now. You’ll get used to it. Just you wait and see.”
When we parked the car and walked up to the house, Charles was chatting happily. “We’re going to have a challenge with closet space.”
My heart was drumming fast in my chest as we entered the house with my suitcases. Eileen, who had insider knowledge from her years in the group, had told me to weave a close emotional bond with Charles and not scream about the place being a cult. This would be my chance to go undercover and gather intel that could help take down Conor O’Brien.
We hadn’t made it from the entryway and up the stairs before Conor appeared with three of the children. Looking at Charles with my large suitcase, he raised a brow. “What’s going on?”
Charles was a few steps above me and turned. “Liv is staying with me.”
“Is she?” Conor held a calm smile on his face, but I thought I saw a micro-expression of annoyance. “I don’t recall giving my approval, and no one moves into my house without my permission.”
“Fair enough. Can my girlfriend stay in my room while she’s in Ireland?”
Conor looked thoughtful but then he gave a firm “No.”
“Why not?”
“I’m happy to explain if you allow me a moment of your time.” He waved a hand for Charles to follow him, which made me nervous, but Charles stood his ground and didn’t leave my side.
“You can talk to me in front of Liv.”
Conor tensed. “What we do here at the manor isn’t anyone’s business. You agreed to respect the privacy and secrecy of this place when you moved in.”
“But she’s my girlfriend.”
“I understand, but unless I have invited her, she can’t stay here.”
With frustration on his face, Charles threw his hands up. “Then invite her already.”
“I would, but we don’t have an available room, and I don’t want her sleeping in your room.”
“Charles, I’m not having this discussion here. We’ll continue it in the library.”
We left my suitcases in the entrance and walked to the library, where we sat down in an expensive-looking sofa, holding hands.
Conor sat in a reading chair with his right ankle casually placed on top of his left knee. “The reason that Liv can’t stay in your room is that if I allow you to have your girlfriend in your room, soon everyone else will expect the same privilege. I can’t slack on my rules, not even for you.”
I loved Charles a little more when he raised his chin and stood up. “In that case, we’re staying in a hotel. Come on, Liv.”
Having hoped for a chance to get insider information, I didn’t leap out of my seat, but looked to Conor, who was hard to read. Something told me he was surprised by Charles’ willingness to leave if need be. Conor’s eyes lingered on me for a second as if trying to read my mind and see how big of a threat I’d be.
I rose from my chair and took Charles’ hand.
“Not so fast.” Conor gave us a smile like a parent talking to teenagers. “I understand that Liv is visiting from the US and you want her close. My concern about you and her sharing a room is that you’re moving too fast. Only yesterday, I sensed doubt in you, Charles. I’m sure you’ve been honest with Liv and told her about your need for time alone to process the world around you. There is such a thing as drowning in your own success.”
Charles shifted his balance. “Yes, I’m familiar with the expression, but it relates to business, not to love.”
“Ah, but in this case, being overwhelmed with love and attention might push you back into feeling suffocated.”
Once again, Charles stood his ground. “I made a promise. If Liv can’t stay here, we’re going to a hotel.”
The door opened and River came in. When she opened her mouth to speak, Conor held up a hand, gesturing for her to wait. Pushing forward in his chair, he cleared his throat.
“I’m not an unreasonable man and if it means this much to you, I can agree to Liv’s sleeping on a couch but not in your room.”
There was no way I was sleeping in this house alone. What if Conor came at night and forced me to eat pills like he did with Nathan’s mom?
“Liv isn’t sleeping on a couch. That’s ridiculous.”
A soft voice sounded. “She’s welcome to sleep in Nathan’s and my room. We have an extra mattress for the floor.”
I jumped at the chance to get some intel from the children that could aid Kit’s investigation. “That’s fine with me,” I said a bit too fast.
“But…” Charles looked surprised. “We can go to a hotel, Liv.”
“No, it’s fine. I agree with Conor that a bit of alone time will be good for you, and I love kids.”
Charles lifted my hand to kiss the backside of it. The appreciation in his eyes made it clear that he hadn’t wanted to leave his friends here at the manor, but I was still pleased that he’d been ready to do it for me.
CHAPTER 16
Questions
Charles
River was over the moon that Liv would be sleeping in their room. It was silly to me, as I wanted Liv in my bed, but Conor had thirty-four people living in his house and I had to respect his rules even when they made no sense to me. When Liv kissed me good night and went with the children for their first sleepover, as she called it, Conor asked to talk to me in his study.
“How are you doing?” Conor sat on the corner of his desk while I was in a chair. It made me have to look up at him.
“I’m fine. No, better than fine.”
“These last days I’ve seen a different side of you. You don’t seem as interested in my teachings as usual; yesterday, you wouldn’t give me your phone when I tried to help you; and you’ve ignored my advice several times. It worries me.”
Crossing my arms, I defended myself, “I know you feel that I’m not ready to be in a relationship with Liv, but you don’t know how strong our feelings are for each other.”
“Oh, I never doubted that you had strong feelings. What I doubted was your skills in the area of love. And believe me, it takes skills to successfully navigate a serious relationship with a woman. It worries me that a bit of estrogen in the air will make you disregard my concern for you. As you know, I’m very picky and selective about whom I let into my circle. People would pay large sums to have me coach and mentor them, but I’m not interested in being the next self-help guru or tour the world doing get-better seminars. I believe the universe brings me the people who need my help the most. Haven’t you felt better after I took you under my wing?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“If this was about money, I’d open up my house to as many as possible, but it’s not and that means there are limited spots in the group. I consider everyone here a part of my tribe. My family. That’s why I give you everything in a symbiosis of mutual trust and loyalty.”
I looked down. “Thank you.”
“You can understand how disappointing and hurtful it is to me, when a member is no longer willing to reciprocate with the same level of trust and loyalty.”
I nodded.
“I’m not sensing the same interest or dedication from you. There’s been a shift after Liv came into the picture.”
“I’m still very loyal to the family. You mean a lot to me. You know that.”
Conor tapped his chin and looked up. “Words are easy, Charles. I need to see action to be certain that you mean it.”
“What kind of action?”
“Members do different things to show loyalty. Some get a tattoo with the Red Manor crest, others donate large sums to our foundation, some offer to clean or cook to be of service. It’s up to you really.”
“I can pay for a few schools like Sara did. Would that be enough?”
Conor shrugged. “If you want. It’s important that you understand that you’re not doing it for me. I’ll miss our friendship if you leave, but where are you going to find a community with people who love you like we do? We want you here, but only if you’re as committed as the rest of us.”
“How about five schools then?”
He tilted his head. “That would be a good start, but mostly, I’d like to see you be involved again. I share everything with you. Are you willing to do the same?”
I threw my hands up. “Sure, what do you need?”
Conor gave me a long look. “I’m not talking about material things. Those are easy to share. I’m talking about what matters the most to you.”
I tapped my foot on the floor, unsure what he was on about.
“What about Liv? She seems to be the most important person in your life now. Are you willing to let her be part of our group and share her with the rest of us?”
“Of course. She’s already sleeping in the children’s room. I was counting on all of you to accept her the way you’ve accepted me.”
“Good.” Conor leaned forward and patted my shoulder. “Good.”
A knock on the door was followed by Ciara walking in with a red-haired woman and a tall gray-haired man who looked winded after walking up the stairs.
Ciara introduced them to us, “This is Kit and David O’Rourke from O’Rourke Investigation. They’re detectives and have come to ask you some questions about Sandra.”
“Sandra who?” Conor asked.
Both of the detectives were tall people and I guessed them to be father and daughter. She had a pad and pen in her hand and walked over to shake Conor’s hand. “Sandra, your wife.”
Ciara shook her head. “You got that wrong. Conor isn’t married.”
“No, he’s a widower, we know.” The female detective took a seat without being asked to. “But you were married to Sandra Hamilton for seven months before she committed suicide, isn’t that correct?”
Conor stood with a stoic calmness. “It’s nine thirty at night; why don’t you come back at a better time?”
The old man cleared his throat and spoke with a thic
k brogue. “Oh, we’re on a busy schedule and try to come by when people are home.”
“Well, I’m happy to set up an appointment and sit down to answer your questions about Sandra at a different time.”
“That won’t be necessary, this won’t take long.” Kit tapped her pen on the pad. “A witness saw you in the bar in Liverpool where Sandra’s body was found; can you confirm that?”
“He’s already been asked those questions years ago and I vouched for him being here and not in Liverpool. Ciara fiddled with her hands. “Nothing has changed, except you got the detail wrong about Sandra being Conor’s wife.”
“No, I’m pretty sure that part is accurate. The insurance company paid out quite a nice sum in her life insurance to her husband, Conor O’Brien,” Kit said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Ciara opened her mouth and closed it again, looking at Conor to deny it.
“Sandra and I had a practical marriage. She wanted a father for her son, Nathan, and I took them both in.”
Kit tapped her pad again. “When you say practical, do you mean there was no sexual relationship between you?”
“Oh, there was sex, but it wasn’t a traditional marriage.”
“You were married to her?” The pain on Ciara’s face was clear, but Conor looked unaffected as he addressed Kit.
“I wasn’t there when Sandra died, but she left a note and begged me to raise Nathan as if he was my own. I’ve kept true to her wish.”
“So how come ye were seen carryin’ out the boy from the bar that night?”
“That’s impossible. As I said, I was here. Ciara already confirmed it.”
Ciara’s hands were shaking and her lips disappeared, leaving only a thin line in a face full of tension.
Kit turned her head and spoke to Ciara. “It looks like there might be video evidence of Conor bein’ with Sandra that night. It’s crucial that ye tell the truth or ye could get implicated in Sandra’s murder.”
The accusation was ludicrous and to my relief, Ciara was quick to defend our mentor and friend. “There was no murder. Sandra was mentally unstable and killed herself. Why would I lie about Conor’s whereabouts? I’m telling the truth.” Her words came out in a small hiss as she raised an eyebrow at Conor. She didn’t say the words, but her eyes shouted, Unlike you.