Dreams Unspoken

by R. J. Layer

  Jo shook her head. “I didn’t become an invalid. I can do this.” She realized her words were as hurtful as the ones she’d unleashed earlier.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Jo caught her arm before she was out of reach and let her hand slide into Maria’s. “No, I’m sorry, Maria. You should just slap me.”

  She cupped Jo’s chin. “Someone beat me to it.” The compassion in Maria’s eyes was a salve not only for her physical wounds, but the emotional ones. “You’ve got ten minutes to undress yourself and get in the bath.” Jo released her hand. “I’ll be back.” Maria closed the door behind her.

  Maria returned as promised, knocking before opening the door and poking her head through. Jo was submerged to her neck, eyes closed with her casted arm hanging over the side of the tub.

  “You are awake, aren’t’ you?”

  Jo rolled her head to the side and opened her eyes. “Yes, Mom.”

  “Very funny.” Maria smiled down at her. “How long before you’re done? I want to fix you something to eat.”

  “May I have half an hour?”

  “You certainly may. Can you manage getting out by yourself?”

  Maria prayed the answer was yes. She knew it would be dangerous for her to see Jo naked. Jo was far too vulnerable now, and she herself was too emotionally raw. In her soul, she knew that the brief kiss over a month ago was a prelude to what could happen between them, but logic told her she couldn’t allow it to. A physical relationship, as satisfying as it might be, would surely destroy their friendship. No, she wasn’t about to lose the precious bond they’d forged.

  “Maria!” Wincing, Jo waved her broken hand, snapping her from her daydreaming. “There’s a draft.”

  Maria blinked. “Thirty minutes.” She pulled the door closed and leaned against the frame, a flood of heat sweeping through her body. Back in the kitchen she prayed under her breath, “Please make it stop.”

  When thirty minutes came and went, Maria returned to the bathroom. “Jo?” She rapped on the door.

  Jo’s reply was so faint she barely heard it, so she poked her head in again. Jo sat on the floor, her head resting on her arm stretched across the toilet seat, her robe loosely covering her body.

  “I felt too sick to stand.”

  Maria knelt beside her. “Of course you did.” She felt Jo’s neck for any signs of a fever. Satisfied that at least Jo’s body temperature was normal, she pulled the robe tighter around Jo and tied the sash. “Come on.” She stood, hooking her hand under Jo’s arm. “I promise you’ll feel better with something in your stomach.”

  Jo insisted on sitting at the dining table, and slowly but surely she devoured every bite of the soup and sandwich Maria had fixed for her.

  “Thanks, I feel almost human again.”

  Maria’s hand rested on Jo’s shoulder as she reached for the empty plate. Jo loved the way it felt when Maria touched her. She had ever since that very first handshake over a year ago. The yearning sparked by gazing into her dark eyes hadn’t subsided since then either. It had only grown stronger.

  “Don’t you need to get home to Matt?”

  Maria returned from the kitchen, drying her hands. “When you’re all tucked securely into your bed, I’ll go.”

  Jo pushed up from the table, picked up the pill bottle and dropped it in her pocket on her way to the fridge for a bottle of water. “Then let’s get me tucked in so you’ll go home to your family.”

  With Jo settled in her bed, Maria shook out a pill for her and handed her the water. She placed the bottle back on the nightstand and slipped her hand into Jo’s. “You’re my family too, you know?”

  “Thanks for taking care of me today.” She squeezed Maria’s hand then pushed it away. “Now go.”

  “Where’s your phone?”

  Jo shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

  Maria searched Jo’s clothes on the bathroom floor before tossing them into the hamper. She finally located the phone on the seat of her truck. When she returned to the bedroom, Jo appeared to be asleep.

  “That’s right, you sleep. I hope you’ll call me if you need anything.” She leaned over and kissed Jo’s forehead, laid the phone on the nightstand and quietly left.

  It took every bit of concentration Jo could muster to pretend to be sleeping so Maria would leave. While the pain pills made her drowsy and almost masked the pain in her hand, they also seemed to heighten her sensitivity to Maria’s presence. She ached to touch Maria in ways she’d only ever be able to dream about.

  Chapter Twenty

  Maria called daily to check on her and by Wednesday Jo had gotten the hang of working with a broken hand while under the influence of pain pills. What irked her most was having to hire someone temporarily to work with the horses that she’d contracted to train. Given her damaged hand, she didn’t feel that she had the right touch for the job, a job she loved above all others. She parked herself on the sidelines, occasionally calling out suggestions to the guy Tucker had found to fill her boots.

  As she climbed the porch steps Saturday evening at five, she heard a vehicle in the drive. She didn’t recognize the Jeep that slowly crept toward the house, but when it stopped she was surprised to see it was Loren. Eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, Loren wore a bright smile along with a tank top, jean shorts and sandals as she strode confidently to the porch. Stopping short of the steps she removed her sunglasses.

  “Hi! I thought I should stop out and check on you.” She squinted up at Jo. “I feel kind of responsible.” Her shoulders pulled into a shrug.

  Jo shook her head. “Well, you’re not. I’m real sorry you got caught up in all that.”

  Loren propped a foot on the bottom step, drawing Jo’s eyes to her long elegant legs. She pushed off the post and motioned with her good hand to the chairs on the porch.

  “I was about to have a cold one. Would you like to join me?”

  Loren ascended the steps two at a time and stood in front of her in an instant, pulling Jo’s hand from where she’d hid it under her shirt.

  “How’s it feeling?”

  Jo tilted her head. “How’d you know?” She didn’t await an answer. “More importantly, how’d you find me?”

  Standing face to face, Loren continued to hold the cast in her hands.

  “I was on duty when your girlfriend brought you to the hospital.”

  Jo chuckled. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

  Loren’s brow rose. “You don’t say.”

  “She’s just a friend.”

  Loren gave a knowing smile. “And the one at the bar?”

  Jo shook her head. “She wishes. Is that how you found me?”

  Loren settled into one of the chairs, leaned back and draped one long leg over the other. Loren’s sex appeal wasn’t lost on Jo as she leaned back against the porch rail.

  “You’re joking, right? I threatened to call the cops. She begged me not to. She’s not stupid in spite of acting like she doesn’t have a lick of sense. If I ever see that one again, I’m pretty sure I’ll be running in the opposite direction and dialing nine-one-one.”

  “Like I said, I’m sorry you got caught up in that drama.”

  She fixed Jo with her gaze. “It was valiant of you to step in front of that punch. I understand she’s a cop.”

  “Yeah, a deputy sheriff. I’m pretty sure she suffers from a Napoleon complex.” Jo gave a tiny smile. “You know ‘cause everyone else is taller than her.”

  “Yes, I’ve known a few of her kind.”

  “So, can I get you a beer?”

  “Sure, but only one, and I advise against more than one for you if you’re still taking pain meds.”

  Jo returned with the beers and took the chair next to her. Loren tapped a slender finger on the cast.

  “I’d say at the rate you’re going this cast won’t last but another week tops. I’d be happy to fix you up.” She placed the bottle to her lips and took a slow drink. “You really should keep it dry.”

  J
o looked at the cast. “You still haven’t said how you found me.”

  “Well, I was going to ask one of the officers I know to help me find you, but then the next morning you came to me.”

  Jo searched her memory for a sighting of Loren at the hospital. Nothing. Heck, she barely remembered even being there.

  “You know—that pesky insurance paperwork you have to fill out to get treated.”

  “I thought that information was supposed to be protected under some privacy laws or something.”

  Loren smiled coyly. “I can assure you I have not shared a single thing I’ve learned about you with a soul.” Loren tipped her head. “Your sign says this is a horse farm.” She looked Jo down to her cowboy boots and back up to her eyes. “So are you some kind of horse wrangler?”

  Jo lifted the cast. “Not at the moment, but usually, yeah.” She bobbed her head. “You like horses?”

  “I guess.” Loren thought for a moment. “I’ve only been around a couple and it was back in high school. But what’s not to like, right?”

  Jo nodded. “You want to meet mine?”

  “Sure.”

  Jo gave the fifty-cent tour, introducing her to three of her half a dozen horses. Loren seemed perfectly at ease around the horses and asked good questions. A short time later they were back on the porch sipping ice water with lemon slices.

  “This is some place you have here.”

  Jo knew how true that was. “Maybe once I get this off,” she lifted the plaster, “you can stop back out and we can ride…if you like.”

  “That sounds like fun, and I bet you can be a lot of fun.” She scooted to the edge of her chair. “I should get going.”

  Jo stood also. “I appreciate you coming out to check on me.”

  Loren took Jo’s cast in her hands as she had earlier. “My pleasure. I like you, Jo.” She brushed the tips of Jo’s fingers sticking out of the cast. “You really should come by the hospital and let me replace this for you.”

  “Yeah, sure. Maybe I can get by there this weekend.”

  “I’ll be looking for you.” She leaned in and brushed her lips over Jo’s cheek. Releasing her hand, she stepped from the porch and slid her sunglasses down to cover her eyes. “Enjoy your evening.”

  * * *

  Maria hurried into the house with Matt late Saturday afternoon after his ride. She quickly settled him with Rosie inside the door and rushed to the bathroom. She heard a car door as she came back down the hall and when she spotted who was driving the little blue car that had stopped out front she nearly tripped over Matt trying to get out of the house. She stood on the porch and felt in her skirt pocket for her phone.

  Jo must have heard the car too. She was standing in the barn doors with her arms crossed over her chest.

  Kate was talking even before she stopped a few feet away. “I am so sorry, Jo.” Kate took another step closer. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here.”

  She reached out for Jo’s broken hand. “Jo, please, I just want you to understand how sorry I am and make sure that you’re okay.”

  When Kate’s hand got dangerously close to Jo’s cast, she jerked it up and away and stepped back.

  Maria bolted from the porch then, phone in hand, and headed toward the barn like a provoked bull, enraged and ready for attack.

  “You need to stay away,” Jo was saying.

  Kate started to step toward Jo again, but Maria caught her arm. “Get away from her. Haven’t you done enough?”

  Kate wrenched her arm from Maria’s grasp. Fear shot through Maria when her eyes met Kate’s hate-filled stare. Maria pulled out her phone.

  “I’m calling the police.”

  Praying it wouldn’t turn into another bad judgment call, Jo quickly stepped between the two. With a hand on Maria’s shoulder, she steered her a few feet away.

  “I’ve got this. Really, Maria, it’s okay.” Jo kept a hand on her shoulder, Maria’s anger was palpable, her eyes black as coal. “I promise if she tries anything, I’ll smack her with this.” She raised her cast with a smile, immediately diffusing Maria’s anger.

  Maria removed Jo’s hand from her shoulder and shoved the cell phone in it. “Here.” She looked past Jo at the glaring Kate. “Don’t make me have to come back out here.”

  Jo took a breath as she watched Maria return to the porch. One down, one to go. She focused her attention back on Kate without a hint of the smile she’d given Maria.

  Kate jerked her head toward the house. “So, does your little straight girlfriend know about the lesbian one?”

  Jo fixed her eyes on Kate. “Maria and I are only the best of friends. She happens to care that whoever I date treats me right.” She paused, hoping her words would sink into Kate’s thick head. “Here’s a piece of friendly advice. Stay away, Kate, because if you don’t I will find a way to make your life as miserable”—she raised the cast—”as you’ve made mine.” Jo sidestepped her and walked to the house without looking back. She joined Maria on the porch, dropping an arm gently across her shoulders. They faced the house.

  “She thinks you’re my girlfriend.”

  Maria slid her arm around Jo’s waist and pulled her close. “Well, far be it for me to ruin anyone’s fantasy.”

  Jo gazed down at Maria. “You’re bad.” She chuckled.

  Maria met her gaze smiling. “Okay…”

  Jo felt the all-too-familiar ache. If only. They walked with their arms around each other into the house as the sound of crunching gravel signaled Kate’s retreat.

  * * *

  Jo stopped at the hospital around ten on Sunday morning and asked if Loren Mathews was working. The gal at information sent her to the ER. The place seemed vaguely familiar. At the glass-enclosed desk she asked again for Loren. She was shocked when the receptionist paged for Dr. Mathews.

  “If she’s with a patient, she could be a while.”

  “No problem. I can wait.”

  She picked up a year-old magazine and found an article on the benefits of fitness for women’s health. Fifteen or twenty minutes later—Jo wasn’t clock watching—she was greeted by a pair of sneakers attached to very long legs and a charming smile.

  “Hi.” Jo smiled in return.

  Loren shoved her hands in the pockets of her white coat. “You came.”

  Jo nodded. “You told me to.”

  Loren sat in the chair beside her, took Jo’s cast gently and turned it over. She lowered her voice. “I did, and apparently the assumption I’ve been under that all strong, gay women are bull-headed is ill conceived.”

  “I try real hard not fit the stereotypes.”

  Loren met her eyes. “I didn’t mean to insinuate—”

  “Relax. I haven’t taken offense to anything you’ve said to me since we met.” She couldn’t stop a silly grin from claiming her face. Loren was one attractive woman. “So, watcha think, Doc?”

  “I think this may need further examination.”

  As they passed by the desk, Loren called to the woman behind it. “Can you please pull the file for Jo Marchal?” She spelled the last name. “From last Sunday. Thank you.” She led Jo to a large room with multiple beds and curtains hanging beside each and patted the first one. “Hop up.”

  “You really need me up there to look at my hand?”

  “How else can you judge my bedside manner?” Loren said playfully. Jo laughed and followed orders. “The last time you were here you were so out of it you didn’t even know I was the one who set and cast your hand.”

  “Really, so who gave you permission to do it?”

  “Your pretty friend, Ms. West.” Loren met Jo’s gaze. “She asked me if I would also put big cumbersome casts on both of your legs so you couldn’t leave the house.” Loren laughed. “She was very worried about you, you know? That’s why I thought you two were together.”

  “And so you thought what, I was cheating on my woman? Was that another of your assumptions about strong, gay women?
” Jo’s voice was kind of loud, although her tone was playful.

  “Shh…you want to out yourself in the hospital?”

  Jo shrugged. “Does it matter?”

  “Not to me. The people I work with already know about me.”

  “You don’t think when people get a look at me they don’t automatically place me into one of those stereotypes? You know, ‘one of them’?”

  Loran spoke softly. “You know not every strong, attractive woman is one of us.”

  Loren cut the week-old cast off and after an X-ray to confirm everything still looked good, went about replacing it. Jo watched in amazement as her delicate fingers expertly performed the job. She guessed she was getting a firsthand look at who Loren Mathews was. And that was a woman strong in confidence, her convictions and her sexuality. All in all, Loren was an appealing package.

  As she finished and was soothingly wiping away plaster residue from Jo’s fingertips, she said, “I’m off in a few hours. Would you like to get something to eat somewhere?”

  Jo’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t. I’m going to my mom’s over in Campbell to have dinner.”

  Loren tipped her head. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “That’s so sweet. You continue to amaze me.” Loren leaned closer. “You’re not at all what I expected.”

  Jo kept the space close and intimate between them. “And what was that?”

  “A rough, tough, I don’t know, maybe a possessive kind of cowgirl.”

  “And?” Jo leaned forward until there was only a breath between them.

  Loren’s smelled of mint as her breath whispered against Jo’s lips. “You’re soft.” She touched Jo’s good hand resting on her thigh. “And sensitive.” She slid her fingers off Jo’s hand onto her thigh. “And compassionate.”

  Jo’s eyelids felt like lead. She wanted to kiss Loren more than she wanted her next breath. A loud crash somewhere close by startled both women and reminded them where they were. Loren took a step back, but neither broke the intense gaze they shared.

  “I almost kissed you.” A smile crept across Jo’s face.