by Ney Mitch
Mr. Darcy grinned.
“It is nice to see you smile again,” I observed, “and therefore, it gives me courage. I order us to forgive each other for our past mistakes: I forgive you for offending me when we first met, and you must forgive me for letting my pride be so easily swayed, so sadly puffed up, that I swung towards the flatteries of a man who hurt your sister so very much.”
“That is an order than I am all too glad to obey.”
“I am happy for it.”
“And you truly did not love him, Miss Elizabeth?”
“No. And this is not me lying to save my face. When I had first heard that he was engaged to another woman months ago, I felt no heartache and wished him well. Never did I feel any jealousy and never will I for any woman he chooses. And that is a rule that I set down: if you do not feel jealousy for a woman that a man chooses, then you clearly never loved the man.”
“That was provocatively accurate.”
“Provocatively? How so?”
“Because it is a painful truth. Jealousy is one of the worst sins to feel, and yet, it is one of the best ways of displaying how deeply one feels about something. So, you were never jealous of any woman he chose to marry?”
“Not a jot. I even had the courtesy to wish him well, which at the time, seemed like the correct thing to do. My warmth towards him only went so far as being flattered by his attentions, but never caring for anything more. I suppose, at the time, I was just looking for friendship.”
“To soften the blow of me not being amicable when we first met.”
“Again, my vanity was wounded. And when one’s vanity becomes bruised, the first thing to leave us is our logical side. I wanted to tell you all of this, however, you had left Rosings sooner than I had expected. Colonel Fitzwilliam confirmed your report, but I wished for you to know immediately that I confirmed the veracity of your tale. That was why I sent the letter to you, despite the impropriety of it.”
“It was an offense that I am glad you undertook. I truly wished for there to be no miscommunication between us. And, when viewed at from the eyes of heaven, perhaps it is better that it worked out in the manner that it did.”
“How do you think so?”
“Well, when I got your letter, I was so flattered by your desire to visit my home that I set out to pay a call on you here, the very day that you said you were to arrive. While I knew that it may be regarded as presumptuous, I knew that you would not mind.”
I gave him a wide smile. “Of course, I would not have, for, after me threatening to come and see you at your home, I had no right to be amazed at your own presumption. We are two very hopeless souls, are we not? Whatever shall we do with each other?”
“Be kind to each other. For, it is apparent that we both are meant to be in each other’s lives.”
I gave him a side long glance. “Then, you regard us as friends once more?”
His eyes faltered at my uttering that sentence, but he recovered in the next moment.
“Yes,” he confirmed, “we are.”
“I am glad to hear it.”
“But I must ask, since I now know the history of your views on my person, I know that you at first held me in contempt.”
“Oh, we must not use the ‘c’ word.”
“Contempt?”
“Yes, for it brings back memories that are hurtful to recall. Let us recall the past in a manner through which is gives us pleasure.”
“Actually, this does give me pleasure, for your answering my question will solve a mystery.”
“Ah, a mystery! Very well, unfold your curiosity,” I teased, in a mock grave voice. “Lay it at my feet and let me inspect it.”
“You at first held me in contempt. Yet clearly that changed. When did you decide to take a second chance on me? For I have noticed that your mind has changed towards me more than a few times.”
“As strange as it is to admit, the answer might make you grave. And I do not want you grave. I like you when you are lighter. I like you when you are like this.”
“Very well. I shall promise to be lighter in nature if you promise to answer the question.”
“I can agree to that arrangement. In truth, I suppose that it first began when my father passed away.”
Despite his promise to remain light, Mr. Darcy could not help but let his expression falter and his general air become graver. I did not begrudge him for breaking his promise to me.
“How so?” he asked. “Did it help you to realize that you had nothing to lose by giving me another chance?”
“Precisely. Life was short and what was I to ever fear? The afterlife? What would the afterlife do to me for trying to yield the breach between us? Not a thing. And, I found, when considering that it might be wise to consider that second impressions are just as vital to judge someone on as first impressions, I grew wiser.”
I gave him a quick glance. “But what about you? For, it seems to me, that your opinion of me improved over time. Or else, you would have never decided to feel anything towards me that was less than disdain.”
“I wish I knew, but I do not.”
“Come now, Mr. Darcy, that was not a question that deserved such a mysterious answer.”
“I promise I would give you a better answer if I could. Yet, I cannot fix on the moment, hour or even day that my mind began to alter in the better sense. For, I do believe, that I was in the middle of finding you very agreeable, even before I knew if I had even begun. I can only assume that I was surprised by the liveliness of your mind.”
“That is strange, for I recall being nothing short of saucy incivility whenever we spoke. There always seemed to be a merry war between us. And as such, this gives me no choice but to wonder if maybe you liked me being uncivil.”
“I promise, it was for the liveliness of your mind.”
“And that liveliness came from an impulse to sometimes spar with you, mentally. Therefore, perhaps, and consider this before you deny it, that maybe you were exhausted by the common pleasantries and flatteries that often come your way. I have seen the way that Caroline Bingley flatters you. Am I correct in thinking that women treat you that way all the time?”
“Yes. It is a perpetual habit of theirs.”
“And I was the first one who did not. Therefore, you could not help but look on me differently, for I was a novelty. I gave you something else but the same sort of song, the same sort of dance, and the same sort of false flattery that comes with trying to catch a man for his fortune and his name.”
“Truly, that is the omnipresent terror that loams over one’s head. You know not the agonies of always being sought after because of your wealth.”
“I can only assume that is the same sort of terror that a person feels for being not worth marrying because of one’s lack of wealth. Therefore, perhaps, I do know the feeling. I can believe that both fates are both dark paths that have different hues to them, but the hues are merely different tints and shades of the same color. Yet, I am sorry if you are often viewed as a piece of meat that a woman wishes to own for the nourishment it gives her. If it shall help you feel less alone, we women feel the same way quite often.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“I never would have believed so.”
“Do you believe that we women are so different than you men?”
“In some ways, yes you are.”
“Well, in some ways, perhaps, and yes. After all, if we were just like you, then there would be no reason for you to need us. Yet, what I refer to is that we, both men and women, are looking at each other in ways that put us on display and appeal to our more selfish sides. We both are viewed as prizes sometimes, that the opposite sex desires to win. And therefore, we are all, in our own way, objects.”
“You paint a very poor landscape of life, if it be that.”
“It is only poor if you let it affect you. I refuse it to be such.”
“I like this.”
“You like what?”
�
��I am happy that we are as we are, now. I am not afraid when I speak with you now.”
His comment surprised me. “You were afraid of me before?”
“Perhaps I was. It was through no fault of yours. I was merely…”
“Awkward around people who you knew for so very little,” I finished his sentence.
“Precisely.”
“Yes, I do believe that I am beginning to gather a widened knowledge to your character. I am quite proud of us. We have done the difficult thing, you see. We have learned to be nice towards each other after we have argued and fought. This is a great thing. I do not want you to be afraid of me, Mr. Darcy. In truth, I do not wish for you to ever be frightened by me again.”
Mr. Darcy chuckled slightly.
“I make you laugh with that comment?” I asked.
“No, you must forgive me. It is just… I do believe that I am happy.”
I smiled at this.
“You are?”
“Yes, very much so.”
“I am as well.”
We both looked deeply into each other’s eyes and then I felt shy so very suddenly. I did not know what was occurring, but I felt something stir inside of me.
I did not know how to feel. And the worst thing occurred that left me feeling naked and exposed to embarrassment: I did not know what to say. Words were leaving me, utterly. I despised myself in that very moment, and for reasons that I knew not the foundation on, I desired to be anywhere else than where I was.
Indeed, I could not account for it.
Noticing movement to my left, we turned, and we saw my sister approaching us.
And now, I had recalled what I had initially desired to speak with Mr. Darcy about.
“My sister comes back to us,” I whispered, “and I was remiss in talking to you of something most pressing.”
“You had more to say?”
“Yes.”
“I shall give us the time later.”
“Thank you for excusing me,” Jane said, “I have finished admiring all the improvements that our uncle has done.”
Chapter 4
Baring Our Souls
Once more, we were a trio.
“Well,” Mr. Darcy began, “while I know that my request is a sudden one and might be impertinent, but I feel it would be disrespectful to be here at your uncle’s factory and not pay a visit and at least greet him.”
Jane answered, smiling, “That would be delightful. I do believe that I can speak for our uncle and determine that he would be flattered by it. Do you not agree, Lizzy?”
“Yes,” I agreed, rashly. In my eagerness to voice the words, my tone had been hoarse, and I couldn’t abide it. So, I evened out my breathing and spoke more calmly. “Yes, he would be delighted for you to visit him.” We decided to enter. Yet as we did so, I leaned up to whisper in his ear. “I know that you do not look kindly on those who have a trade. But my uncle is respectable. I swear.”
“I know. Have faith in me now,” he spoke gently.
Mr. Darcy offered us both his arms. I placed my left arm in his right one, Jane took the other and we entered the factory.
We were greeted by our uncle’s clerk and then we were shown into his office. At first, my uncle was not there, but we were only left to wait for a minute before my uncle entered.
“Mr. Darcy,” my uncle smiled, “well, this is a most unexpected pleasure. Welcome to my factory.”
“The pleasure is mine, sir,” Mr. Darcy responded, “I have never entered a textile factory in my life, so this is indeed a new experience for me.”
“You do me a great honor, sir, in your coming. It is enough that you have been there to protect my niece, but to pay me a social call, well, I have not the words for it.”
“You owe me no gratitude for coming to Miss Elizabeth’s side when she required it of me. I did it for selfish reasons as much as it was selfless.”
“Selfish?” I grinned. “What selfishness could arise from protecting me?”
“For you to be come upon by a man such as Wickham would hurt my heart as much as it would harm your person,” he responded, “Therefore, in keeping you from harm, I have kept myself from it as well.”
I bit my lip, feeling my cheeks redden. Too overpowered, I looked down at the floor and became suddenly interested in the design of the floorboards.
“Very pretty response, sir,” Uncle Gardiner responded. “While I am certain that my humble place of work must appear but little to you, I still cannot help but ask. Would you be willing to receive a tour of the place?”
“Oh, please,” I supported this plan, “Mr. Darcy, seeing the machines and the textiles being arranged can make is so unique a thing. You actually will be impressed by it.”
“Miss Elizabeth says that I will be impressed by it,” Mr. Darcy observed, “therefore, I am willing to believe that I may be so. Lead the way, when you are prepared, sir.”
“With alacrity.”
At our Uncle’s side, Mr. Darcy began to walk around the factory, while Jane and I followed.
“I am surprised myself,” Jane said, “I knew that Mr. Darcy was not so bad as he was regarded to be. Yet, I am still amazed that he is expressing interest in our uncle’s profession.”
“I am just as surprised as you are. I cannot imagine what sparked this transformation in him.”
“Sometimes, we can enjoy the possibility, that in life, people can change.”
I looked at Jane and recalled all the things that Mr. Darcy had done to separate her from Mr. Bingley. I had not told her any of it…yet my resolve was set, and it always would be. I would never tell her what Mr. Darcy had done. For a split second, I told myself that it was for her own good. Yet, after some considerable deliberation, I had to accept the fact that it was not Jane I was protecting in that moment; I was protecting Mr. Darcy. My sister was finding him to be a better man than what he had been. She also viewed him as my savior and Mr. Darcy had her good opinion. Therefore, god forbid that I would ever take that away from her. Or from him.
“Yes,” I agreed, “your wisdom was more sufficient than mine. Sometimes, people can change.”
We continued to follow Mr. Darcy and my uncle around the factory.
When we entered the main rooms where the factory was most industrious, the workers most copious in number and the room filled with fluff, equipment, and machines, I saw Mr. Darcy’s eyes widen. He marveled under the spectacle that was industry.
Walking up to him, I touched his arm.
“Behold,” I whispered to him, “such a piece of work is man, so noble in reason.”
“So admirable,” he continued, reciting more of the poetry that I had begun, “In action, how like an angel.”
“There is beauty in being a person of profession sometimes,” I pointed out, “being people of leisure and inactivity is its own beauty. However, are we never to be allowed to love those who belong to this sort of life? I believe that we have that right. For how can such beauty be regarded as an evil?”
Mr. Darcy did not respond, for he was merely speechless. He only continued to look around.
When we finished touring, Mr. Darcy informed our uncle that he was going to return us to Cheapside, for we had not told his wife that we would be gone for so long.
Our uncle offered his farewells perfectly, but also whispered to Jane to tell our aunt that if she desired to invite Mr. Darcy back to Cheapside one evening to dine with us, he would accept the scheme.
Thus, the three of us returned home, we made our apologies to our aunt for being gone so long, but she understood why. Jane whispered our uncle’s invitation to her, and Aunt Gardiner acted on this encouragement.
“Mr. Darcy,” she began, “we would love to invite you to dine with us one day this week, if you are amenable to the scheme.”
“I thank you,” Mr. Darcy responded, “however, I was hoping first to invite you all to dine with me, at my home, tomorrow, at Grosvenor Street.”
We all looked amazed by this.
/> “We should be delighted,” Aunt Gardiner said, “and I can speak for my husband. We have no fixed engagements and therefore, we would be delighted to come.”
“I thank you.”
We escorted him to the hallway as he got on his coat and his carriage was pulled up for him. As we all stood on the steps, to see him off, Jane stood beside me and yet, somehow, she felt restless.
Mr. Darcy offered his farewells to us, and just as he put his foot up to get into the carriage, Jane stepped forward.
“Mr. Darcy,” she asserted, her voice trembling in the process.
“Yes, Miss Bennet?” He asked, turning to her, and surprised at her sudden application to him.
“I just wished to say… I thank you for the service that you rendered my sister. For protecting her.”
“Of course, Miss Bennet, as I said—”
“No, I must finish what I have to say.” Jane’s interrupting him was startling to him. After all, she never verbally overpowered anyone. “I know that you did it for your own reasons, but it does not matter. Lizzy is my little sister, and you and I are older siblings. We know that our duty in life is to protect our younger siblings. We are the ones who have to make certain they are safe and that they are provided for. Often, I have despised myself for not protecting my siblings from the unpleasantness of life. Yet, in not being there for Lizzy yesterday, I was not there to protect her. And it hurts me. It hurts my pride as the eldest in the family. So, when you were there for her, you did my duty and you protected someone who means a great deal to me. Therefore, take hands with me, and take my thanks. As one older sibling to another.”
“Oh, Jane,” I gasped, beginning to weep.
Mr. Darcy took her hand, his eyes filled with awe at her.
“I will always do my best to be kind toward your family, Miss Bennet,” he answered.
“I know. You are a good man.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “you are and always will be, you know?”
Mr. Darcy was silenced. I knew how he was feeling. He was shocked under the weight of so much emotion being displayed toward him. It was quite overpowering for him and he would spend the rest of the day not knowing how to respond to anything. Sometimes, when receiving too much praise, we can become quite undone and wonder how we could ever live up to it.