Forbidden Lyrics

by Jodie Larson

  “Meet down there. My understanding is the girls were already planning to go out tonight. Let’s give them time to do whatever they have planned, then crash their party,” Kade says.

  Tatum looks at me and nods while keeping up her argument with Myles.

  Thank God for this break. After being on the road for most of last year, getting back to our roots—reminding ourselves of why we wanted fame and fortune—is necessary. We love our new life, but change is never easy. Some days you just want to sit back and mingle in with the crowd. Kansas City doesn’t exactly have the paparazzi numbers like L.A. At home, blending in is easier. I’m sure our homecoming will make headlines for a few days, but I doubt the craze will last.

  Pax and I take an Uber from the airport to our temporary home in our old neighborhood. Being here and not staying at my parents’ house—which is literally down the block—is a little foolish. But, as much as this kills me to say it, Myles is right. I can’t be the rock star who comes home to live with his parents.

  Of course, being home also reminds me of the woman who plagues my thoughts and makes me want a future with someone, to find that balance between my career and family.

  Paxton swings the door open and nostalgia hits with full force. Every time I walk through this door, it feels like I’m a kid again, begging Kade’s mom for him to come out and play. Or the days where the four of us would play hide-and-seek until Mrs. Evans told us to go “play in traffic.” In fact, if I close my eyes and concentrate, I can almost smell the baked good Mrs. Evans was always cooking or whatever culinary masterpiece she had in the oven. More times than not, I found myself at their dinner table because Kade and his mom didn’t want to eat alone while his dad worked the night shift. The three of us were their distraction. All of our parents helped out, taking each other off their hands. The four of us were inseparable. Brothers for life. We’d do anything for each other, even if it means sacrificing our own wants because of some unspoken code.

  “At least he cleaned up after he moved out.” Pax drops his suitcases in the middle of the living room.

  I smirk. “You think he did?”

  “You’re right,” he says, sitting on the couch, then kicking his feet onto the coffee table. “Tatum probably did it or hired someone.” Pax looks up and draws his brows together. “What?”

  “You really want to sit on that without putting down a sheet or a blanket first?” I point to the plush, tan couch.

  Ever so slowly, his feet slide off the table and he stands, skin pale. “Well, now I don’t. Thanks for that.”

  We laugh and haul the piece of furniture into the empty garage. Looks better in here anyway. Now there’s plenty of room for the girls to sit while we rehearse. Once the sex-infested cushions are professionally cleaned, of course.

  After claiming our bedrooms, we drag out two beanbag chairs, replacing them where the couch used to be.

  “Chinese?” I grab my phone off the counter.

  Pax rubs his stomach. “Really? We’ve been away for a few months and you want Chinese as your first meal home?”

  “Right.” I stop dialing and scroll through my contact list instead. “Billy’s it is.” A nice rack of ribs slathered in barbecue sauce sounds amazing.

  “Order me the usual. I’m going to get beer,” he says, swinging his keys around his finger.

  I look up from the phone. “How?”

  Pax grins and throws a thumb over his shoulder. “Um, parents live down the road? Grabbing their car.”

  “We should probably think about getting all our stuff out of storage anyway if we’re going to stick around for a few months.”

  He nods. “Tomorrow. Tonight, it’s barbecue, beer, and bros.” With that, the kitchen door slams, leaving me to place my order with a very perky sounding voice on the other end of the line.

  The Warehouse is just as busy as the last time we were here on a Wednesday night. People are practically shoulder to shoulder waiting to hear their favorite acts during open mic night. It’s Gabe’s most popular night, outside of the regular Friday and Saturday rush when he features new acts and bands from around the area. It’s always a little bittersweet coming here. This was our start, our introduction into the world. Without The Warehouse, the world wouldn’t know Lightning Strikes existed.

  No one notices when Pax and I walk in. Not surprising, really, since we’re probably the least recognized members of the band. Everyone hunts down Kade and Myles because they’re the ones you see right away on stage. Bass guitar isn’t exactly an instrument that drives the women wild. They want to see fingers flying across the strings as the guitar sings into the air. Not the guy in the background keeping a steady beat. It’s okay. I’m used to it.

  As soon as we walk through the doors, the energy assaults me, flowing through my veins and hastening my steps toward the bar. Gabe is in his usual spot, hurriedly filling orders while keeping his wits about him. I don’t know how he does it. I would have lost my shit long ago and probably yelled at a customer because they were being stupid.

  Luckily, our regular corner is open. Everyone is staying at the tables near the stage, so the bar is basically empty. With the exception of a few people sitting in the middle, waiting for the show. Gabe turns, greeting us with a giant smile.

  “Long time, no see,” he says, sliding two coasters in front of us. He turns to the right to pour two tap beers and places them in front of us.

  “What’s up, man? Looks like things are busy here tonight,” I say, taking a pull from the hoppy goodness in the frosted mug.

  Gabe nods and leans against the bar. “Yeah, not much has changed since the last time you were here.” He pauses with a smile. “Except Myles married one of my acts.”

  Pax places his mug down with a small thud. “If you knew Tatum before, you wouldn’t be as surprised. Those two were inseparable. Still are.” He looks around, taking inventory of the bar. “Speaking of, are they here yet?”

  Gabe jerks his head to the left where a group of girls sit laughing around one of the high-top tables on the floor. “Well, the troublemakers are here. I would assume the rest of your crew is arriving shortly?”

  A musical laugh floats above the crowd, instantly catching my ears. I’d know that laugh anywhere. Soft, like she’s not even putting much effort into the sound, yet enough of an edge to let you know she’s laughing from the heart. When I turn, it doesn’t take long to pick her out. There, sitting with her back to us, is the most beautiful brunette I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t look away. Every cell in my body acknowledges her presence. Now that I know she’s here, I need to be by her.

  “Yeah, they should be here any minute.” Pax turns to the group of women, now throwing their heads back in peals of laughter. “I’m surprised they’re not joined to their wives’ vaginas already.”

  “I’m sure that was done before they left the house,” I say, still not taking my eyes off of Lizzie. I should try to hide it better, not stare as if she’s the only woman in the room. But I can’t pull my eyes away. It’s been a few years, but she’s grown into herself; no longer the little girl who used to run around chasing after us. She’s a woman with curves and personality. Still forbidden but fucking hard to resist.

  Pax follows my gaze and digs his elbow into my side. “Stop.”

  I turn and tilt my head. “What?”

  He slowly shakes his head, frowning. “You know she’s off-limits.”

  “Says who? We’re older now. She’s not in high school anymore.”

  “Did that beating not register? Or are you looking for a repeat performance? Myles would kill you if he came in right now and saw you undressing Lizzie with your eyes.”

  “I’m not undressing her with my eyes.” A total lie because all I can think of is getting her out of those clothes and seeing her milky white skin flush with pleasure.

  Maybe it’s been too long since I’ve been laid.

  Pax bumps my elbow while looking up at the door. “Well, you better shape up because here he
comes. I don’t want to jump in and break you two up.”

  “You won’t have to.”

  Kade and Myles stride to our spot, shaking hands and signing a few napkins for a few wide-eyed fans. It’s almost funny the different reaction they get compared to when Pax and I entered ten minutes ago.

  They pull up two stools and Gabe promptly slides two beers in their direction. “I’d say it’s nice to see your ugly mugs, but…”

  Myles laughs before taking a pull from his beer. “Don’t worry. We’re just as excited to see you as you are us.”

  “Oh, good. So you’ll be leaving soon?” Gabe laughs before tending to a new patron at the bar.

  Kade looks over and nods his head in our direction. “Sorry we’re late. Got stuck talking to Linda longer than we wanted to.”

  “How’d the inspection go? Did we come up to snuff?” I ask. Linda, the rep for the label, is here to make sure all preparation for the studio is up to the label’s standards. Not that she had to worry. The one thing Kade takes more seriously than his relationship to his wife is his music. There were no cutting corners when he had it built. In fact, he did his homework back in L.A. and got design ideas from several studios. Her presence, though, still leaves a bitter taste in our mouths, after everything that went down with Myles and Tatum. Hopefully it’s only for this week and she’ll just remotely check in over the next three months. After all, she’s still walking a tightrope with the group.

  “Passed with flying colors. Were you expecting anything else?” Kade smirks.

  “With your anal retentiveness, not really. I’m surprised you didn’t have Adrienne design the place for you. I mean, she did soundproof her old apartment, after all. It would have been the perfect space.”

  “Yeah, why aren’t we using that, by the way?” Pax leans over to join the conversation.

  Kade shrugs. “What if Adrienne needs something or goes into labor while we’re recording? I want to be close by and not halfway across the city.”

  It’s a valid point. If I was in his situation, I’d probably want the same thing.

  Myles relays specific notes from Linda and the expectations the label has for the next few months. I’m half listening to him because my mind is consumed with thoughts of Lizzie and her close proximity. It’s been too long since I’ve been this close and my mind is spinning with questions.

  What has she been up to over the last few years? Sure, we exchange an occasional text message when necessary—or when I’m drunk and lonely—but nothing meaningful. The only thing I really know is she’s a nurse at Quinn’s office.

  Speaking of, the blonde herself strides up to the bar, the smile on her face growing creepier with each step. “Well, Keith has his work cut out for him today. All kinds of trouble is in the bar tonight.”

  “He already had his work cut out for him when you showed up.” Quinn gives Myles the bird as she leans over the counter, signaling for her husband. Gabe, noticing that she’s practically lying down, comes over as soon as the man he was helping leaves.

  “Yes, sweetheart?”

  “Dude, you are so whipped,” Myles says, which earns him a slap on the back of the head from Kade.

  “Like you should talk. You’re the same with Tatum.”

  “Uh, I have news for you. All three of you are whipped,” Pax says with a smirk.

  Not one of them answers because it’s true.

  “Anyway,” Quinn says, rolling her eyes. “We need another round.”

  Gabe narrows his eyes. “Already? Isn’t this supposed to be a baby shower? Should you really be drinking that much in front of a woman who can’t drink?”

  “No, this is not the shower,” says Quinn. “This is just a get-together of women so we can talk about the shower.”

  “So, it’s a meeting for a meeting? That seems pointless,” I say, taking a pull from my beer.

  “Not pointless. I wanted Lizzie and Adrienne to spend time together before the shower. Lizzie was feeling like a fourth wheel which won’t do. So, here we are.”

  Lizzie’s going to be there Saturday? The whole prospect of this weekend just looked up with those few words. Maybe I won’t be hanging out in the new studio as much as I thought.

  “Why was she feeling like a fourth wheel?” Kade scratches his head.

  “You know she doesn’t have many friends to hang out with. And since we’re a pretty tight group, she wasn’t sure how she’d fit in.”

  That perks my ears up. “Why? Doesn’t she have her crew in town anymore?”

  “No.” Quinn frowns. “She basically has me and her parents. All her friends either moved away or stopped speaking to her once you guys left town.”

  Another confirmation of what I suspected when she was younger. I always questioned her sudden popularity. One thing I’ve always observed about teenage girls—they are petty and catty. Figures once we were out of the picture, they didn’t have a need for Lizzie anymore. Their loss.

  “Bitches,” I mutter under my breath. Pax looks my way but chooses to ignore my comment since no one else says anything.

  “Oh, then that’s great. One more nurse to keep around in case something happens.” Kade smiles.

  “You act like you’re not going to be pacing the halls the closer it gets to her due date. Knowing you, you’ll document every twinge and pain she has and rush her to the hospital until they kick you out for crying wolf one too many times.” Quinn props a hand on her hip, waiting for a rebuttal from Kade. The only response he gives is a wink. Yeah, we all have him pegged.

  Quinn bangs on the counter, grabbing Gabe’s attention from the wine cooler. “Babe, I’m still thirsty over here.”

  “Gabe, if you want, I can take her outside and leave her on the side of the road for someone to pick up.” Myles takes a drink of his beer. “Then again, they’d probably return her.”

  “Why can’t you be more like your wife and act like a human being? I still don’t know what she sees in you.”

  “Giant cock,” he says, grabbing the aforementioned appendage. “That, and I make her scream nightly.”

  “Oh man, I walked up at the wrong time.” Lizzie’s sweet voice pulls my attention away from Myles and lets it settle solely on her. Long, brown hair frames her face as she blinks back either embarrassment or amusement. Since Myles is her brother, I’m sure she’s used to it.

  “Baby sister, get out of here. Let the grown-ups talk.”

  “Fuck off, Myles. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m grown up, too.” Lizzie looks down the line to make sure all of us heard her. She’s definitely not the girl who used to follow us around like a lost puppy.

  “Hey, Lizzie. How’ve you been?” Pax bumps her hip, throwing her off balance for a second.

  “Good. Tired. Work is kicking my ass lately.”

  “Tell me about it.” Quinn sighs dramatically. “If I get thrown up on one more time, I may quit and let Gabe make all the money, so I can sit at home and do nothing.”

  “Or you can get pregnant and still let that happen,” Kade says.

  Quinn narrows her eyes. “Did you not hear me? No more being thrown up on. What do you think will happen if I have a baby? It’s all they do. Eat, sleep, shit, and throw up.” A visible shiver runs through her body. “Not right now. I need at least one more year of having Gabe all to myself before I throw our world into a tailspin. Maybe I’ll wait until Adrienne gets pregnant again so our babies can be born around the same time. Heaven knows they’ll be best friends.”

  “If that’s the case, let’s hope he or she gets Gabe’s mouth.” Myles ducks as Quinn throws a wad of straws his way.

  “Jerk. Be more like your wife who, by the way, is already planning out your nursery colors.”

  Most of the color drains from Myles’ face. Looks like they still haven’t hashed out their disagreement from the plane earlier. For someone who couldn’t wait to impregnate Tatum nine years ago, he sure is acting funny about this whole thing. Something’s up.

  “And you know Mo
m is going to be bugging you nonstop for grandkids. She needs something to squeeze.”

  “Why don’t you get on that, then?” Myles eyes his sister, the frown still prevalent on his face.

  “Um, because you generally need to have sex in order to get pregnant.”

  “Gross. Sorry I mentioned it.” Myles stands with his beer in his hand. “I’m going to talk to the stage chick and see if we can sneak on later. Is that still our plan?”

  “Yeah. Are we doing the thing with Tatum or just us?” Kade asks.

  “I’ll find out and let you know.” With that, Myles walks toward his wife, still sitting at the table with Adrienne.

  “Don’t worry, we’ll find you a man. It’s a big city. There’s bound to be one for you here,” Quinn says, returning to Lizzie’s comment.

  “Really, I’m okay for a while. I’m too busy at work to dedicate time to a relationship right now.”

  “I’m not saying you need to get pregnant right away. Geez. I am saying that you should have known better dating a guy named Taylor when his last name wasn’t Lautner.”

  “You were dating someone?” I say, taking a bold step now that Myles isn’t around.

  Lizzie swings her green eyes my way. “Was. It didn’t work out. Besides, Quinn is right. I should have known better.”

  “God, please don’t say that. You’ll give her a complex,” Gabe says, sliding a tray of drinks in front of the girls.

  Quinn laughs. “Like you don’t know I’m always right.” She takes the tray and blows a kiss toward Gabe. “Thanks, honey. Love you.” As gracefully as she can, she turns and heads back to the table, distributing the drinks before settling into her seat.

  “Let’s go help Myles before he ends up canceling every act and takes over the stage.” Pax grabs his beer and urges Kade to follow him.

  “Probably a good idea. He’s been itching to play again in front of a crowd. And Gabe can’t afford to lose the business.”

  “Are you kidding me?” he says. “You’d probably increase my business tenfold if you took over.”

  Gabe shakes his head and walks across the bar to help out a couple trying to get his attention. Pax and Kade take their cue and head to the stage, leaving Lizzie and me alone for the first time in years.