Accepted Fate

by Charisse Spiers

  She finishes the pelvic exam and I wait outside while she cleans everything up. I'm standing beside her SUV with a brown paper bag in one hand and my photos in the other. She sent me with information to read and prenatal vitamins to take every day. I'm supposed to come see her Monday for my blood work and to schedule an appointment four weeks out. I need to go somewhere and think. Everything is happening too fast. I need to be alone. I need our tree. I want to go to Pops' ranch.

  ***

  As soon as she dropped me off at my house, I jumped in my vehicle and left in the direction of the ranch. I can't face my parents right now. I need time to myself. I need time to sort this out. Once I make the thirty minute drive to the ranch, I park and head towards the barn. Without giving it any thought, I saddle up Divinity and climb on her back, taking off through the trees. Once I reach my destination, I release her to get some water and walk towards the large Oak tree that now holds our names.

  Running my fingers over our names, the tears begin to spill as the series of events comes flooding to the forefront of my mind, catching up with me. I left everything at home. I never take off without my driver's license and phone, but I didn't want anyone to be able to reach me. I wonder what Breyson is doing. He said he was going to call once he landed. I'm sure I'll be back by then. I just need to calm down. I can't talk to him like this. I refuse to mess up his trip. I'll just have to deal with this on my own and figure out how to tell him when he gets back.

  I sit at the base of the tree where we made love on Christmas Day. I'm torn inside. I can't be a mother; I'm too young. We have dreams. Both of us. This will ruin my cheerleading career. It says in the handbook that you can't have children and be in the NCCAA. I just got my welcome packet. My first assignment was this summer. Now, I'm going to be fat and pregnant. This can't be happening to me. I've been waiting for this opportunity for years! We are just seniors in high school. What is everyone going to say when they find out I'm pregnant? What are we going to do about college? We can't end up with dead end jobs to support a baby. This is not part of our plans! I need to be able to plan! This cannot be the ending to our story. We haven't even made it to college.

  Not able to hold the cries at bay anymore, I let them go. It's one of those ugly cries; the one where you just need to scream and get it all out and the same one that you need to be completely alone for. Maybe I can give it up for adoption. We can't be parents right now. It won't help me with the NCCAA, but at least I can still get a chance at college and pro as well as Breyson. I won't ruin his career. I know him. He will give it all up and try to get some low paying job to support us while I go to college and try to get a career. I will not make him give everything up. This is all my fault.

  As the thought processes through my mind, I get a wave of nausea as if the baby knew what I was considering. Bending over, I empty the contents of my stomach for the fourth time today. I haven't eaten anything now that I think about it. I have only had juice. I don't know how anything could be left to throw up. Once there is nothing left to throw up, I lean against the tree. Who am I kidding? I will never be able to give mine and Breyson's baby away. I would never move past the guilt.

  This is not fair. How could I have let this happen? I have never been this irresponsible in my entire life. How are we supposed to raise a baby? It takes money to raise a baby. You can't raise a baby off of love. I can't ask him to give up his football career and I won't. I'll just have to figure something else out. I could never ask him to give his dreams up to support me and a baby. I'll just have to give mine up. That thought breaks me; completely in half.

  Pulling my legs up to my chest, I wrap my arms around them and lay my head on top of my knees and allow myself one and only time to feel sorry for myself; one time frame of pity. Once I leave here, I leave here and pay for the consequences to my actions. I will do so without complaint. This is no one's fault but my own. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, but I'll figure it out. I'm exhausted from everything, mentally and physically; some of it, from this day from Hell and some of it as signs of my now pregnant state. My lips taste salty from the constant rain of tears. The last thing that crosses my mind before the blackness consumes me is how much I wish Breyson was here and then my body enters a sleep induced state.

  CHAPTER 27

  Breyson

  We're in mid air and I already miss Kinzleigh. We haven't been apart more than a few hours since the day I saw her at school for the first time. I shouldn't have left her sick, while I come off for fun. I feel extremely guilty. The second this plane lands, I'm calling her. We've been in the air for a while now and everything has been smooth and peaceful.

  I have a window seat and I look out across the setting sun. It's beautiful. The pinks and oranges of the horizon are stunning at this altitude. I wish Kinzleigh could be here, sitting beside me, experiencing it with me. It will be nightfall soon. I can't wait to get off of this plane. Reaching in my pocket, I pull out the one item I can't go anywhere without: her anklet. I'll never forget that day; the day she gave me her heart. I've kept it within reaching distance ever since; the anklet as well as the real thing.

  Some guys may call me a wuss, but I enjoy being around her every day. I don't want space from her. That girl is my best friend. Kissing the heart of her anklet, I place it back in my pocket and reach in the opposite one. What I pull out is a small black box. I've been waiting for the perfect time to give this to her, but have yet to get that perfect window of opportunity. I open the box and nestled inside, is a small round sapphire, the color of my eyes. She made a comment a while back that when she looks deep into my eyes, it feels like I'm reading her soul. I want this to be a reminder, a promise if you will that for her my eyes are the window into my heart and soul and only she has the access. It's a promise that she is mine forever.

  At Christmas, Preston said that she was fair game until there was a ring on her left finger and it got me thinking. I have claimed her right finger and her heart, now I want to claim her left. I know we're too young to get married so this is just a promise of what's to come. I want her to be mine; forever.

  I've made the decision that on Valentine's Day I'm going to ask her to be mine for the rest of our lives. I love her, I need her and I can't live without her. She can take that promise for whatever she wants. I just want the promise to be made. One day, I'll swap this ring out for the final segment in our story; a diamond ring. Until then, this will do. This year has been the best year of my life. If I was given the chance to go back and change anything, I wouldn't change a damn thing.

  I'll be on my knees for the rest of my life thanking God for her. I don't know how I was deserving of such an amazing girl, but I'll cherish her for the rest of our lives. I want to grow old with her. I want her to be the mother of my children one day. I want to show her the world, support her and spoil her. Not a day goes by that the amount of love I have for her doesn't triple.

  The brunette in the seat next to me starts to stir in her sleep, waking up. Closing the box, I slide it back in my pocket. "Hey sexy. What you got there?" The girl is attractive and about my age, maybe even a year or so older. She must hate to fly because she's been passed out drunk from the time we took off. I can smell it all over her.

  "Just a gift for my girlfriend," I say turning back to the window.

  "Is this girlfriend serious?" She leans in closer in an attempt to rub her breasts on me. Since I'm by the window seat, I can't go anywhere.

  "Serious as it can be without papers," I say hoping she will go back to what it was she was doing prior to trying to seduce me. Girls like her don't do anything for me anymore. It's hard to believe they ever did. That day seems like so long ago.

  Obviously, my answer had the reverse effect. She places her hand on my thigh and tries to inch closer to my manhood. "We could go to the bathroom. I've always wanted to join the mile high club. She would never have to know. We could have our fun and then go our separate ways at landing. I need something to relax me. I've never liked
flying. It makes me nervous. I live in New York, but most of my dad's family lives in Alabama so I have to fly a lot; although, not by choice."

  The thought of cheating on Kinzleigh makes me physically ill. I would never hurt her like that over a few minutes of feeling good and looking at this girl, she's been around the block a time or two. I'd have to be mentally insane to downgrade from Kinzleigh to her. Being between Kinzleigh's legs is the ultimate high. She is addictive on every level. She has the sweetest stuff there is.

  Grabbing her hand firmly, I remove it from the area next to my crotch. "Thanks, but no thanks. Like I said, I have a girlfriend. Being faithful to someone may not mean anything to you, but it means something to me."

  "Oh come on. Every guy has a button to push him over the edge; I just need to find yours." She cannot be serious. She's one of those girls; the type that can't handle being told no. They make it a game to get what they want no matter who it hurts in the process.

  As I'm about to say something, a guy in a jacket walks by eying us with a look to kill. His jacket is zipped and he has his hands in the pockets. He looks from me to her and keeps walking towards the bathroom. Who is that guy? "Do you know that guy?"

  She turns around, but it's the guy's retreating form; his face now hidden. "Don't think so. Now, where were we. Oh yes." Before I even know what she's doing, she grabs my crotch in her hand causing me to jump. Suddenly, the surrounding people scream and something hits me over the head. Everything goes black.

  ***

  My vision comes back and my head is pounding. What just happened? I look down and I'm tied up. "What the fuck?" I attempt to look around and from the terrified look on the surrounding passengers, something is very wrong.

  I feel something hard press into the back of my skull. "You trying to get my girl? She's mine and only mine. I will have her no matter what it takes. You were hitting on the wrong girl my friend." Hot breath seethes into my ear from behind and I am now fully aware of what is pressing into me; the barrel of a gun. How the fuck does someone get a gun onto a plane after the terrorist attack on nine eleven?

  "Austin please don't hurt him. This is between me and you. No one else has to get hurt. I promise baby, I'll come with you and never leave again. Just let the pilots land the plane and we'll get off." The girl sitting beside me whines, tied to her chair as well.

  He is pacing up and down the aisle. "Shut up bitch. Haven't you done enough? I'm so tired of your whorish ways. Someone else always ends up hurt because you can't keep your legs closed. I've already taken care of one piece of shit for taking what's mine. No one will ever find his body. I told you last time, if I can't have you no one will. Did you listen? No because here we sit." He stops beside her and points the barrel of the pistol at her temple before rubbing it harshly down her cheek, causing her to whimper. "Don't you know how much I love you baby? I'd give my life for you. I guess you didn't believe me. You want me to prove it? You want me to take down this plane and kill all of these innocent people to prove no one else will have you?"

  She shakes her head as tears stream down her face. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. A man dressed in military uniform attempts to barge and take him down, but the psycho turns and shoots him in the chest before he is successful, causing the soldier to go down to the floor beside our seat. My eyes go wide as the blood pools underneath him in the aisle close to our seats. Austin, as she called him, begins scratching his head with the gun. "See what you made me do, Cheyenne? You always bring out the worst in me." He bends down and presses his lips to hers roughly before turning to the rest of the passengers. "I guess he got to die for his country and he didn't even have to go to war. What a shame. Anyone else want to try something stupid?" He seethes loud enough for everyone to hear.

  Is this really happening right now? Where are the pilots and the flight attendants? Don't they go through some kind of special training for this? Everyone is terrified. There are people crying, people staring stunned and kids being rocked by their mothers. I've got to do something if we're going to get off this plane alive. I look around to attempt at making a strategy.

  As if he knows what I'm thinking, the guy bends over my seat. "Don't try anything stupid or you're next." He looks to the girl next to me. "Awe, don't cry Cheyenne. I've given you plenty of warnings. You should have listened. Shh. Shh. Shh. Is this turning you on? You always said I was boring. Am I finally giving you the excitement you need to thrive, you stupid bitch?"

  Her face is covered in tears as she shakes her head. "Please Austin, I'll do anything. Let these people go. I'll remarry you just like you asked. I made a mistake leaving. Please just land this plane," she begs.

  "What do you take me for? Stupid? Like I'm going to land this plane so you can have me arrested and run off whoring around like you always do." He grabs her crotch and squeezes hard. Geez what is wrong with this stupid prick? He's one sick fuck. He needs to be in an asylum. She screams in pain. He has a bored look on his face. "I'm growing tired of your games Cheyenne. You want to put a restraining order on me now and keep me away from my daughter? Nah, she's better off with our parents than you. I'll tell you what, I've got something better for you. This plane is going down. I may be going to Hell for this, but you're going to bust the gates wide open right along beside me. You're no better than me. You're just a pretender. I guess we'll go out together with a bang; kind of like Bonnie and Clyde. Emma is better off without us. At least she won't have a whoring mother or a jealous drugged out father anymore. Do you think this is the life I wanted for myself? Maybe then she'll have a chance at normalcy. What do you think? Because of you, all these people were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

  Everyone in the plane starts going crazy in panic. This can't happen. I have someone waiting at home for me. I promised I would never leave her. The girl then looks over at me and her demeanor is completely serious. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could change things. Just know that I'm sorry."

  "Awe isn't that sweet. Are you starting to get a conscience Cheyenne? It's a shame you didn't have one before." This time when I look into his eyes, he looks like Satan himself, staring back. The evil is so thick, you can feel it. He's made up his mind. We're going to die.

  You know how they say when you're faced with death, your whole life flashes before your eyes? Well it was different for me. Mine wasn't my entire life, it was the life I don't get to have and the life I've had since August. I finally got to live and now it's going to be taken away from me. Her face will be the last thing I see when I take my last breath; those deep green, freckled eyes and that beautiful face. She is perfect to me. I wish I could have given her more. I wish I could have been her life. I was looking forward to seventy two years with her when I woke up this morning and I didn't even get seventy two hours.

  Austin laughs sadistically and turns to the rest of the passengers. "Everyone gets one attempt at a goodbye before this plane goes down. Use it wisely because you won't get another. You better start doing your confessions too because today is D-day for us all. It's too late for me and Cheyenne here, but there still may be hope for the rest of you. You have about..." He looks at his watch. "Thirty minutes and captain here is taking us down to the ground."

  I watch as everyone starts pulling out cell phones in a panic. The idiot can't tie a knot worth a shit so I managed to get it loose enough to reach in my pocket for mine. He begins pacing up and down the aisle again, making sure no one attempts anything stupid I imagine. I remove Kinzleigh's anklet again and my cell phone.

  Opening the camera option, I switch it to video and hit record. Looking down I begin my attempt at telling her goodbye.

  "Hey baby. I know you're going to be really confused and I'll try to explain the best way I know how. I need you to listen to me because I don't have much time. Everyone on the plane has been held hostage and he's taking it down. Don't panic baby because I need you to hear everything that I have to say. Just this once listen to me okay? I need to say this.... I love you Kinzleigh; with all
that I am. Just remember, when you remember me, how much I loved you. No girl will ever compare to you. You're a one of a kind." A tear escapes my eye and lands on the screen. The rope around my arms keeps my hands in my lap. "I guess I should have stayed home after all." I attempt to laugh to stop my tears, but it doesn't work as well as I planned. "I need you to always remember me Kinzleigh. I need you to remember so you never forget the kind of love we shared. If you forget, none of it will mean anything. In the short time I've known you I've grown to love you more than I could ever explain. If I could choose dying today or going back to the time before I met you, I would choose dying today because the time I've spent with you has been amazing. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me but I have to break a promise I made to you baby." I fight to keep the tears at bay and it burns my eyes. I need to be strong for her no matter how scared I am right now.

  "I know I said I would never leave you and trust me, it's not by choice. I need to ask you to forgive me. I can't die knowing you don't forgive me. I'm going to have to leave you physically, but I'll always be with you in your heart. Anytime you need me, I'll be there." I can't hold it back anymore. The tears break free. "Kinzleigh I'm sorry. I wanted to give you the world. I wanted more time with you dammit." I manage to get the ring free from my pocket and hold it in front of the phone. "I was going to give you this for Valentine's day. I was going to give it to you in exchange for a promise that one day I could replace it with an engagement ring."

  I swallow and continue what I have left to say. "That promise no longer applies, but I do need you to promise me something else. I need you to promise me you'll move on. I need you to promise me you'll let yourself love again. I want you to follow your dreams, get married and someday have babies. I want you to let somebody take care of you. You're a special girl Kinzleigh. Don't make someone miss out on loving you because of me. No one will ever love you like I love you because we were soul mates, but my soul has been called to a higher place, cutting our time short. You have so much love to give someone; please don't waste it. Don't make me die in vain. If I had a way, I would come back for you and I'll still try until I take my last breath. I don't care if I'm at the bottom of the fuckin' ocean. I just want to tell you one more thing and then I have to go." I can already feel the plane beginning to become unsteady so I don't know how much time we have.