The Nanny's Christmas Wish

by Ami Weaver

  Up in his room, she grabbed Cody’s jammies and clothes and tried to calm her buzzing nerves. Maybe she’d go to Hannah’s to remove herself from temptation. She heard Cody on the stairs and smiled at him when he burst in. “I’ve got your clothes,” she said. “Why don’t you pick a couple friends, too? I wasn’t sure who you’d want to take.”

  Cody grabbed Bear Bear, of course, and a stuffed rabbit named Bun. She put both of them in his backpack and followed him back downstairs.

  She set the backpack next to Ellen, noting Josh looked a little strained. It didn’t make her feel any better. “Here’s his things. He’s got his friends in here, too.”

  Ellen smiled up at her. “Thank you, dear.” To Cody she said, “Get your snow things. It’s coming down nicely out there. Maybe we can go out for a little bit when we get back to my house, okay?”

  “Okay!” Cody bounced out of the kitchen, and Maggie heard him talking to himself as he gathered the necessary items. When he came back out, Ellen picked up the pack and smiled at them.

  “Have a nice evening, you two. I’ll bring him home after lunch.”

  Josh held out his arms to Cody. “Sounds good. Cody, have fun with Grandma.”

  “I will.” Cody hugged him, then ran over to hug Maggie, as well. She hugged him tight, panic in her throat. They’d be alone. She didn’t think she could handle that.

  She went in the kitchen when they left and loaded the dishwasher almost blindly. Josh sat at the table very still. She couldn’t look at him, afraid of what she’d see, or what she wouldn’t.

  Maybe she could just lock herself in her room for the evening, since she wasn’t needed. She couldn’t risk Josh guessing her feelings for him. The temptation of being alone was too great and her feelings too raw to risk letting her guard down.

  But the elephant in the room was the attraction they clearly shared and hadn’t hid so well. It needed to be addressed before either of them could go on.

  Remembering what had transpired on this very counter, she blushed, then took a deep breath and decided to give both of them an easy out.

  “Well, when I’m done here, I think I’ll go see if Hannah needs any help,” she said as cheerfully as possible. “That way there won’t be any awkward moments. You—” She trailed off as Josh pushed his chair back and came over to her, his gaze never leaving her. Trapped, she couldn’t look away. She was sure the mix of need and apprehension and fear she saw in his whiskey gaze was reflected from her own. The determination was his own.

  He stopped short of touching her, but she felt the heat of his body all the same. “Stay. Please.” The words were low and vibrated like a string stretched taut between them. She held one end—she could drop it and could walk away. He’d let her go.

  Except, she couldn’t. She wanted this so badly, what they both knew was so wrong for both of them, yet it seemed the harder they tried to resist, the more they were pulled together.

  She swallowed. Lifted her chin and met his gaze firmly even as every nerve in her body trembled. “Okay.”

  He stepped back and she felt the loss of his nearness with both relief and frustration. “Want to take a walk?”

  She blinked at him. Whatever she’d thought he’d say, that wasn’t on the list. She looked out the window where snow was falling, albeit gently. Might be just the ticket to cool this thing between them. “Now?”

  “Why not?” He nodded at the dishes. “This can wait.”

  She hesitated. What could possibly happen on a walk in the snow? It would be good to clear her head. Maybe get a grip on her emotions.

  “Okay,” she agreed.

  He gave her a little smile. “Thank you.”

  She wiped her hands on a dish towel and took a deep breath to try and calm her jumping belly. Just a walk. There was nothing more to read into it. Slightly settled, she grabbed her coat.

  They donned winter gear and boots in silence. Josh held the door for her and she walked out into the hush of the falling snow.

  The undulating white blanket, already a good four inches of the fresh stuff, covered everything. She took a step. Josh grabbed her arm and Maggie stopped to look at him, surprised.

  “Listen,” he murmured in her ear. The hot brush of his breath sent a small shiver down her spine. “You can hear the snow falling.”

  Maggie tilted her head as he stepped away and listened. Sure enough, she could hear the steady, yet nearly silent, thrum of the falling flakes piling up.

  They walked down the driveway. Maggie looked back at the house with the twinkle lights muted by the snow, giving off a Christmas-card glow.

  It looked like home. But it wasn’t hers, not really, no matter much how she wished it could be.

  She lost her footing briefly and Josh offered her his arm with a raised eyebrow. She slipped her arm lightly through his and resolved not to think for the rest of the walk. Just feel and enjoy the precious gift of time with Josh.

  “Pretty, isn’t it?” Josh asked as they passed the other houses, all lit up, and the snow crunched beneath their boots.

  “Oh, yes. Magical,” she decided. “It’s like being in a snow globe.”

  He chuckled. “Agreed.” They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they turned off on to Main Street and Maggie stopped with a little exclamation.

  “It looks like a Christmas card.” She laughed and gestured at the buildings with their caps of snow, all decorated with twinkle lights and pine boughs. “Any minute you expect to see a horse-drawn sleigh come right down the street.”

  “A sleigh, huh?” Josh looked thoughtful.

  “Yeah. I’ve always wanted a ride in a sleigh. It seems so…cozy on a snowy day.” She’d almost said romantic. Given what they were skating around, it seemed prudent to avoid the word.

  They walked a little farther, past the closed but merrily dressed shops, to the park. The water was dark, with occasional snowy patches where ice had formed.

  Josh tipped his head toward the water. “In a couple weeks, if it stays cold enough for the ice to form, the lake will be covered in ice shanties. Lots of fishermen.”

  “More business for you?” Maggie asked, and he laughed.

  “Not really. The occasional fish-hook removal but for the most part as long as they don’t fall through the ice, they’re fine.”

  “That’s good, then.” Maggie tilted her face up to the gray sky, eyes closed, as the cold flakes hit her skin. When she opened them again, Josh’s gaze was intent on her face.

  Heat curled between them, lazy, but hot enough Maggie was sure the falling snow turned to steam. Her fingers curled into his sleeve as wanting slid through her, leaving a burning trail of need in its place. Warning bells were quickly snuffed out as Josh leaned down and settled his mouth on hers. All thought fled as her eyes drifted shut and she leaned into him.

  His lips were cold but his mouth was hot. Clutching his jacket, she opened to him—who let out that moan?—and let her tongue mate with his as the barely banked fire roared through her body. He pressed harder and she pressed back, inviting him deeper, closer…wanting, needing to get as close as possible, but gloves and warm coats—no longer seeming necessary—prevented the skin-to-skin contact she craved like breath itself.

  The rumble and roar of an approaching snowplow snapped Maggie to her senses, and she pulled away as the plow whooshed by, sending a pile of snow their way.

  “I’m sorry,” Josh said, his voice hoarse.

  Maggie stepped away as pain curled though her. Every time he kissed her he apologized. She turned around to head back home. “Don’t be. It was just the moment.”

  But, oh, what a lie. She wanted so much more than the moment, so much more that wasn’t hers to take.

  “Maggie—”

  Maggie placed her finger over his lips and shook her head. “Please don’t apologize,” she said. To hear it again would break her heart. “It happened. We’re both adults who are very attracted to each other. We’ll control it. Let’s just leave it at that, okay?”


  She turned to walk away, but he caught her arm. Darn him. Ruining her dramatic exit. Such as it was.

  “Damn it, Maggie.” He stepped closer. “I’m not sorry about kissing you.” He tipped her chin and her pulse picked up. “I’m sorry that damn plow came along and broke us up. That’s all I’m sorry for.” He rested his hands on her waist and tugged her closer. Maggie couldn’t tear her gaze off his.

  “Me, too,” she whispered.

  “I’m going to kiss you again,” he murmured and the intent in his voice sent little sparky shocks to her core. “But I want to do it inside.” Their gazes locked, and desire tangled between them. She could barely breathe. “Maggie, can I come upstairs with you?”

  Maggie touched his cheek. She knew what he was asking, knew she wasn’t strong enough to say no, knew she wanted this badly enough to risk it all. “Yes,” she said, her voice strong, all uncertainty gone. His eyes flared and Maggie knew she’d answered his unspoken question. He took her hand and they left the park at a decidedly quicker pace than they’d entered it.

  Tonight was all about the magic. Tomorrow—well, tomorrow she’d deal.

  They’d barely gotten into the house when they came together, shrugging out of wet jackets and boots with low laughter and lingering kisses.

  Maggie led him upstairs, hoping to regain her balance, to keep her heart out of this as much as possible. Even though it was far, far too late for that.

  She flipped on the fireplace, and plugged in the Christmas tree. Then, nerves fluttering, she looked over at where he waited in the doorway.

  “Are you sure?” His voice was low and rough but she knew he’d walk away if she told him no. It was that knowledge that allowed her to say yes.

  “I’m sure. For tonight.”

  “For tonight,” he murmured, and her already racing pulse skipped as he approached her with a predatory look in his eyes. He stopped in front of her, close enough she could feel his heat, and she nearly imploded with the need to touch him.

  Who moved first, she couldn’t say. Didn’t care. Didn’t matter, really. All that mattered was he kissed her as though if he didn’t, he’d die. She opened up under him, welcoming his tongue, feeling it sweep her mouth, tangling with her own. Her hands fumbled with his shirt, finally yanking it free of his jeans, as he did the same to her, never breaking the kiss.

  Skin, smooth over hard muscle, under her palms. Goose bumps rose on his skin under her touch and an answering tremor ran through her. It’s right, it’s so right. Then her ability to think flew out the window as he pulled her shirt over her head and opened her bra. She cried out as he took one nipple in his teeth, the other between his fingers, and worked them until she could barely stand. The heat and pressure low in her belly had her gasping.

  “Josh! Oh, my God, please?” Her words came out on a whimper. God, she couldn’t even think what she wanted to say but it probably was something along the lines of take your pants off right now. Or maybe just take me right now. She reached for his zipper but he caught her hand.

  “I’ll be right back. Before we go too far.” He left the room. She heard some slamming then he was back.

  “That was quick,” she said with a grin as he stepped back into her arms.

  “I don’t want to waste a minute,” he said and tossed the foil packages on the bed. “Where were we? Oh, yeah.” He returned his attention to her breasts and she clutched at him as the peak came at her again. With a whimper, she clutched his shoulders.

  “Wait,” he whispered against her mouth and nipped her lower lip. “Not yet. Just a little longer.” He eased her back onto the bed and she was more than happy to assist him in removing her jeans. Her undies—pink cotton, not really sexy—stayed on, though, so she lay spread before him clad only in those and suddenly felt shy. When she tried to cover herself up, though, he stopped her.

  “Don’t, Maggie. You’re gorgeous.” By the look in his eyes she could see he meant it. His gaze roamed over her, leaving her skin as hot as if he’d touched her. Then he did, easing her panties aside to slip his fingers in, hitting the sweet spot right on and the pressure…oh, the pressure that built and built and burst on her scream. As tremors wracked her body, she realized she wasn’t even close to done. As she reached for him, his zipper, pulling his jeans and boxers down—oh, my God, holiday print boxers, who knew?—his erection sprang right into her hand and she slid her hand down the hot silkiness of it, hearing him grind out her name.

  “Maggie,” he gasped, a guttural sound, and gripped her shoulders. “Oh, honey, if you’re going to— I’m going to—”

  The heady sense of control took over. She pushed him so he went on his back. She tore open the package and slipped the condom down his length.

  “Maggie,” he managed to say as she swung her leg over him, hovering right above him, teasing them both with what they both wanted, leaning forward so her breasts were in reach of his mouth. He obliged her with a growl, first one then the other until, unable to stand it another second, she finally slid down his erection, taking him in, feeling him fill her, letting her heat surround his hardness. He felt so good, so right. She began to move, up and down as he rocked to match her for each thrust, his hands on her breasts, her mouth on his as they shattered together, while the snow fell, the fire crackled and the tree sparkled.

  Chapter Eleven

  They made love several times that night, waking and reaching out, finding in each other what had long been missing in both their lives. What Maggie never had, and feared she would never have again.

  When she woke and found him gone an emptiness filled her soul, where for a just a few hours, Josh had been. The rumpled sheets and blankets told the story. Clothes tossed all over the floor, though his were gone—a testament to their eagerness last night. It both heated and shamed her to see the evidence of their lovemaking, to feel the evidence of it on and in her body. She’d never been so well and thoroughly loved. Ever.

  Now it was over.

  Which was as it should be. Her heart pinged. They’d crossed so many lines, broken so many rules, Maggie didn’t even know where to start.

  But they’d agreed, it would only be one night.

  Which also was as it should be. He didn’t belong to her, no matter how much she loved him.

  With a sigh, she rose and padded to the bathroom. She needed a shower. Then she’d figure out how to face Josh and deal with the weirdness because it wasn’t like they could avoid each other.

  Kinda hard when his bedroom was a few steps from hers. That thought opened the door for others she couldn’t deal with, so she ruthlessly shut them down.

  She cranked the hot water on and slipped in, let the water sluice over her, and enjoyed how deliciously sore she was in a very key place. No matter where they went from here, it had been the best night of her life. She’d treasure the memory always.

  He’s not yours.

  As the guilt over her half sister flowed back in, she welcomed it. She needed the sting of the pain to keep her priorities straight. Namely, Cody. Not his father.

  Somehow, they’d all gotten twisted together and she didn’t know if she could separate one from the other without it all coming apart.

  And right there was the problem with forgoing thinking in favor of feeling. Things got…emotionally messy.

  Maggie toweled off after her shower. Still. She’d been unable to resist him and the opportunity to have one night. She simply wasn’t strong enough.

  Especially given what loomed on the horizon.

  Ellen had promised to bring Cody back after lunch, so Maggie had a couple of hours to herself. Since the last thing she wanted was to be alone with her thoughts, she found herself walking down to Hannah’s to see if there was anything she could do.

  She knocked on the door and tucked her face into her collar to avoid the wind. Her body still hummed from the previous evening with Josh. If she shut her eyes she could feel his hands on her skin, his mouth…

  Hannah pulled open the door
, took one look at Maggie and frowned. “Everything okay?”

  Maggie forced a smile. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

  Hannah stepped aside and let her in. “Not sure. You look…well, you look like you’ve got a lot on your mind.”

  Maggie’s cheeks started to burn as she slipped out of her coat. That was one way to put it. “I suppose I do,” she said, unsure if she wanted to share what had happened or not.

  I should have known better.

  “Well, if you want to talk, I’m your girl.” She opened a cupboard and took out two mugs. “Coffee? I was just taking a break.”

  “Sure,” Maggie said, accepting the steaming cup.

  Hannah sat down, then reached across the table to touch Maggie’s hand. “What’s going on? You look like you’re going to fall apart.”

  Tears burned behind Maggie’s eyes and she forced them back. “I’ve really screwed up.”

  Hannah sat back. “Oh? How’s that?”

  She shut her eyes. “I slept with Josh.” The words were followed by both a thrill in her body and a wash of shame. She couldn’t just box it up as one night. It made it less than it really was.

  “Ah. I can’t say I’m surprised, Maggie.”

  Maggie’s gaze flew to Hannah’s sympathetic one. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “You’re not?”

  Hannah shook her head. “Nope. The two of you are positively sparky when you’re together. I don’t suppose you’d care to share details with someone who hasn’t been there in ages?”

  Maggie dropped her head into her hands. She couldn’t share the magic, the wonder of it all, because she needed to keep it all locked up. “I can’t.”

  “Damn. That’s okay. But I have to ask, why is this a bad thing?”

  Maggie stared into her coffee and was sorely tempted to unload the whole story. She could trust Hannah. But after so long holding on to it, where did she start? She took a deep breath.

  “I was involved with my boss before. We got married, he cheated, I quit my teaching job after the divorce. I told you part of that before. Josh is my boss. I don’t want to get in the same situation.” She tightened her grip on the mug, glanced up. Hannah’s expression grew sympathetic. “But. A lot…happened then. My father died and we found out he had another daughter. Before he’d met my mom. My mom and I didn’t know.”