Grave Alchemy

by Amanda Armour

  “What’s wrong with it?”

  Howard shifted his eyes toward the toilets. “Nothing. It’s just a little bigger than the standard size.”

  A sixty percent discount was a great deal. If it was bigger than our existing sink, I could have the counter trimmed.

  “Deal. I’ll take it.” It was an impulse buy, but I really loved that sink.

  We walked out to the car with the sink on a trolley, “Doesn’t take much to con you, does it?” Basil commented.

  “I like the sink and so what if it’s a bit big? It’s not like I bought thousands of dollars’ worth of entertainment equipment. Is it?”

  “What’s up with your scroll? How come that guy isn’t dead?” Basil asked as we headed home.

  “How would I know? The scroll updates itself. It’s not up to me who lives and who dies.”

  “Let me see it,” Basil said.

  I pulled over and handed the scroll to him “See, Howard’s name is right there. It should have updated and removed his name. How could he possibly be alive? Death doesn’t make mistakes. I’ll tell Noah about this later, but right now I think we’d better pay Uncle Iggy a visit.”

  My uncle, Ignatius P. Gravely IV’s home was perched on a hill, overlooking Silver Falls. The house was a pleasing combination of French Normandy and Tudor styles, with steep roof pitches, dormers and half-timbered walls. It reminded me of an over-sized fairy tale cottage. The driveway, overhung with red oak trees, meandered through a pristine landscape of lawns and flower beds.

  “So, this Uncle Iggy of yours. Is he some kind of head honcho?”

  “I guess you could say that; there’s not much going on that he doesn’t know about.”

  I’d called ahead to let him know we were on the way and that I had a mystery for him. As always, Uncle Iggy met us at the door. His once close cropped chestnut hair had faded to a smoky gray, and it now brushed his collar. The gold chain of his pocket watch glinted as he ushered us into the den.

  “When did you acquire your gargoyle friend?” He asked—nothing got past him.

  “Umm…this is Basil, he’s a transplant from Oregon.”

  “Z rescued me, sir,” Basil explained, as he shifted into his gargoyle form.

  “Did she now? Basil’s an interesting choice for a name,” Uncle eyed Basil with suspicion as he took a seat behind his desk. “Now, tell me about this mystery, Zoey.”

  “There seems to be a problem with the scrolls. Both Noah and I have missed pick ups because the times were wrong.”

  “The times on your scrolls were wrong? That’s not possible, the information goes straight from Stewart to dispatch. Nobody else handles it. But you already know that,” he stated, as he picked up a pen.

  “He’s probably cloning himself again. That guy never gives up,” Basil muttered.

  “What?” I whispered. Basil says the oddest things sometimes.

  “Never mind.”

  I turned back to Uncle Iggy. “Noah missed a pickup the other day. When he checked his scroll again, the time had changed.”

  “Sounds to me like he needs glasses.”

  “But the same thing happened to me,” I insisted. “And Lars from Oregon reported the same thing.”

  Uncle Iggy stared at me while clicking his pen. “You said a couple of problems. What else?”

  “My last pickup today—he wasn’t dead. Look, he’s still on the scroll, but he’s not dead,” I said, handing him the scroll.

  “Changing the fate of one person can affect the fate of hundreds, if not thousands of people. Leave this with me and I’ll speak to Stewart. Are you staying for dinner? You can update me on your Oregon trip.”

  “Not today, I have to go. I need to check in with Noah and find out if he talked to Sam Wheatly. We’ll see you next weekend.” I got up, leaving him scratching his head.

  My phone vibrated in my bag as we walked toward the car.

  “Noah’s been shot! You have to come quick,” Skye said with panic in her voice.

  Chapter 6

  “What time is it?” Annie asked as she staggered down the stairs. “I need coffee.”

  “About 9am. Are you going to class today?” I inquired.

  “I’m taking the day off. I don’t think I can see straight.”

  It was 4am by the time we got home. The preceding twelve hours were spent in the hospital, waiting for news on Noah’s condition. He'd been out collecting a soul, someone shot him as he was getting in his car, the bullet shattered his shoulder blade. They rushed him into surgery to repair the damage. Reapers are basically human, except we are stronger, faster and have two innate abilities: seeing souls and cloaking. The invisibility comes in handy when retrieving souls from a crowd. The news had spread quickly, when Skye called Noah’s parents, she discovered that they were already on their way. Noah’s parents, accompanied by Skye’s, arrived at the hospital just as we were leaving.

  Sally Ashworth and Skye’s mother Juniper were direct descendants of the founders of Pumpkin Bay. Their husbands, Ned and Cedric, had been vacationing together when they met and fell in love with the sisters.

  “It’s chemical relaxing today and I can’t miss it. Thank goodness we don’t have any clients right now,” Annie replied as she sipped her coffee. “I think I’m going to need a thermos of espresso though—five hours sleep just isn’t enough.”

  “Sounds like you’re all going to sit around and get high,” I sniggered.

  “I wish. But it’s just a way to straighten curls.”

  Bella drifted through the kitchen door and started the espresso machine. “I’m not sure where I put the thermos Annie, but I’ll see what I can find. Maybe I put it away up top,” she concluded after rummaging through the lower cabinets.

  “Here, you can have mine,” Basil said as he tossed a thermos to Annie and glanced in Bella’s direction.

  “Do you have superpower hearing?” Annie inquired.

  “Huh?”

  “You know, like Vulcan or Ferengi hearing,” I offered.

  “Another Trekkie.” Basil said, rolling his eyes at me. “I was just bringing it down for a refill. My Keurig hasn’t arrived yet.”

  “What’s next,” I groaned. “Surround sound, Xbox, PlayStation?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe a bar or a pinball machine. Haven’t made my mind up yet. And I already have the surround sound.”

  “Thanks for the thermos.” Annie sighed as she filled it with expresso. “I better get a move on. See you tonight.”

  “Why don’t you go back to bed?” Bella suggested, “I’ll call you when lunch is ready.”

  “You don’t have to make lunch, Basil and I will manage. I know you have your coffee club meeting today; we’ll be fine.”

  “I already canceled. But if you’re sure, I’d like to stop by the hospital and check on Noah.”

  “Make sure you tell him he’s not dead. If you pop up all of a sudden, he might think he died,” Basil commented as he sat down.

  “Nah, he would only think that if I pointed my scepter at him,” I countered.

  “So, about Bella,” Basil said after Bella disappeared.

  “What about her?” I asked.

  “What’s her deal?”

  “I’m not sure what you mean. She just cooks and cleans.”

  “Come on. Is it legal? You get in big trouble?”

  “Why would I get in trouble? It’s not illegal to have a housekeeper,” I replied, trying to avoid the questions.

  “Okay. Then how does she do it?”

  “Do what?”

  “Cook, clean, you know…touch things.”

  “I’m not sure, maybe you should ask her.”

  “I didn’t want to be rude, she’s touchy.”

  “Only when you try to take over her job.”

  “You’re being evasive. How did you get her?”

  “I didn’t get her, she got me. She didn’t want to move on. I tried for hours to convince her, but she just kept refusing,” I explained. “Eventuall
y I gave up and when I got home, she was here in the kitchen, making chicken pot pies. I didn’t have the heart to tell her to leave, so she just took over. She must be special though, she’s the only ghost I know who can do what she does.”

  Basil tapped his lips and then jumped up. “So, do you want to watch TV? I think there’s an I Love Lucy marathon on. It’ll take your mind off Noah.”

  “What is it with you and these ancient shows?”

  “They’re better than those reality shows you’re always watching. I know for a fact that they’re scripted. People don’t make scenes like that in real life. Talk about embarrassing.”

  “That’s rich coming from you. Maybe later—I found something in Oregon, I think it’s a brooch. Want to help me clean it up?”

  I picked up the brooch and moved to the sink. It took a bit of scrubbing, but the mud finally gave way, revealing a large silver oval. The pin was broken, and someone had attached a loop to the top edge. Thistles decorated the from half, each flower topped by a purple gemstone.

  “What do you make of this?” I asked as I handed it to Basil.

  “Looks old. Maybe a hundred years or so,” Basil squinted at it. “There’s a seam along the edge. I bet it opens. Grab me a knife.”

  As Basil worked the edge of the knife into the seam, the back fell off and clattered onto the table. Turning it over revealed a carefully braided lock of hair tucked inside. I picked up, looking for hallmarks. Something was etched on it; it looked like writing but was too faint to read. I handed it back to Basil, who snapped it back in place.

  “This thing gives me the creeps,” he shuddered and continued. “Dead person’s hair, yuck. The silver’s worth a few dollars though, if you melt it.”

  “Some people collect mourning jewelry; it’d be a shame to scrap it. Besides, I’m curious about the engraving. I wonder what it is, a curse or a romantic love note?”

  “Probably a curse. You’ll never wear it. Get rid of it.”

  “It does feel a bit off. Skye will know if it’s a curse. I’ll get her to take a look and then decide.” I wrapped it in a tissue and placed it in the kitchen table drawer.

  Basil and I spent the next four hours alternately groaning and laughing at Lucy’s antics. Skye called to report on Noah’s condition—he was doing much better.

  “He woke up for a few minutes and tried to talk to us, but the pain was too much. The nurse came in and gave him a painkiller. He passed out again,” Skye said.

  “Have they figured out what happened yet? Why would someone shoot him? We don’t kill people, we just collect them.”

  “I agree, it doesn’t make sense. I’m not sure what to think.”

  “I’ll check in with Uncle Iggy. He’ll know what’s happening.” He had contacts in the SIB, the Supernatural Investigative Branch. The SIB are sanctioned to cover all investigations involving reapers, and occasionally, other non-human entities. Some of their officers had infiltrated the regular police force and were present at most of the crime scenes.

  “How are you doing, by the way? It must be a bit crowded with both families here. If it helps, we can open the east wing for them.”

  “I’m just tired. I’ve had to listen to them rant on and on about how dangerous it is here. They want to take Noah home with them. Mom and Dad are staying with me, and Uncle Ned and Aunt Sally have moved into Noah’s house, so we’re okay.”

  “I’ll let you know if I hear anything from Uncle Iggy.”

  “Thanks, I better get moving. I have to close the store, stop by the hospital and then clean my house. If Mom sees one speck of dust, I’ll be in for a lecture.”

  “Before you go, there’s something I’d like you to look at. It’s a mourning brooch or pendant, there’s hair and something etched inside.”

  “Why do you want me to look at it?”

  “I just need to be sure it’s not cursed; it feels strange.”

  “Okaay…I’m not sure when I can make it, but I’ll let you know. Gotta go.”

  “So, the half and half is alive then?” Basil asked as I ended the call.

  “Yes, Noah’s doing better. He’ll be out of the hospital soon.”

  “I’m coming with you tomorrow, you need backup. Someone is out there, killing reapers.”

  “One injured reaper doesn’t mean there’s a vendetta against us. I don’t know why you think I need backup.”

  “This is the best home I’ve ever had and I don’t want to lose it. No more arguments, I’m goin’.”

  Later that day I checked in with Uncle Iggy, he’d alerted Stewart and the SIB regarding the scrolls. The SIB were also investigating Noah’s shooting, but there was no news. Bella returned home early, fussing about not being allowed in to see Noah. Apparently they’d put wards up, as well as posting a guard. The local hospital had a special wing for reapers and other paranormals, but it was there to protect humans, not us.

  “What did they think I would to do to him? I’m just an old lady!”

  “I’m sure they’re just being careful. I’ll let Skye know, he can arrange for you to see him.”

  The doorbell rang as I was heading up to bed. I wasn’t expecting any news but hurried to open the door, just in case. Standing on the porch was the last person I wanted to see.

  “Hi, Zoey. Surprise!” Natasha exclaimed as she tried to hug me.

  I backed up quickly, almost tripping over Basil. “Natasha. What are you doing here?”

  “I got transferred. It’s cold out here. Aren’t you going to invite me in? We have so much to talk about.”

  “What makes you think anyone wants to see you, let alone talk to you, Nasty!” Basil interrupted. “Transfer yourself outta here.”

  “What’s all the yelling about?” Annie exclaimed, coming down the stairs. “Who’s at the door?”

  “Hi Annie. It’s me, Natasha. Zoey told me how well you’re doing, so I just had to come by to see you for myself. You’re even prettier than I remember. Zoey says you’re a hairdresser now. You’re so talented.”

  Who did she think she was, invading my home? I never told her anything about Annie. “Look, it’s late and we’ve had a rough few days,” I said, gritting my teeth. “It was nice of you to come around but…”

  “Zoey, don’t be rude. Invite her in,” Annie said, pushing me out of the way. She reached out for Natasha’s arm and dragged her into the great room.

  “Rude? Z’s a saint compared to this one,” Basil grumbled, pointing furiously at Natasha. “She’s the one who attacked me. She’s a nasty piece of work.”

  “Did you really beat him up?” Annie asked Natasha.

  “I really didn’t mean to, but he jumped in the way as I was sending a soul onward. I accidentally hit him, but I didn’t mean to,” Natasha stated, wide-eyed.

  “Got in the way! Do you realize how much force it took to break my horn? You attacked me,” Basil shouted, foaming at the mouth. With that, he turned and fled up the stairs. I wished I could join him, but I needed to find out why Natasha was here. I thought I had gotten away from her when I left Oregon. And here she was, turning up like a bad penny, she was trouble with a capital T.

  “So, where are you staying?” Annie asked.

  “The Unicorn Motel for now. I’m not sure whether to rent or buy, so I’m researching the real estate market. Since I’m not familiar with the area, I need to be careful. I don’t want to jump on a property unless I can see a clear profit.”

  “Are you flipping houses as well as reaping?” Annie inquired.

  “Yes, I do both. I just sold my house in Oregon and made a tidy profit. But that was a desirable place to live, you know. We had the mountains, fresh air, surf and sand. I’m not sure about here, that’s why I’m doing my homework.”

  What a load of crap, house flipper, my ass. There was no way she could have sold her house and moved here, all within a few days. I’d have to call Walter and find out why she was in Silver Falls. What did I do to deserve this? Someone must be pissed at me.

 
; “That sounds a lot like here, except we have the lake rather than an ocean. People come to Silver Falls to live, not flip houses. Besides, there aren’t many homes for sale right now. You might find something on the south side—it’s off the beaten path, but quite nice,” I said, plastering a fake smile on my face.

  The south side of town was mostly vacation cabins and trailer parks—it was also far away from our property, which was on the west shore of the bay. The more desirable properties were scattered along the shoreline, separated by the downtown business area.

  “I didn’t mean to compare it to a backwater, but it’s really nothing like the west coast, just different. I spent my entire life in Oregon, but I’m sure I’ll love it here…once I settle in,” Natasha explained. “Which reminds me. Do you know of a reliable realtor?”

  “Harriet Smalls runs the local realty office, Smalls and Son, she’d be your best bet,” Annie offered. “You won’t find anyone else who knows the area better than her.”

  “Thank you, Annie,” Natasha said pointedly. “Well, I won’t keep you any longer, you’ve been very kind. It was nice to see you again, Zoey.”

  “Yeah, you too,” I replied as I walked her to the door.

  “I don’t think she’s as bad as you made out. You must've caught her on a bad day. She seems really nice.” Annie said as I locked the front door.

  “Right, she’s innocence personified—butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. You’re just saying that because she was sucking up to you, ‘oh you’re so pretty, oh you’re such an amazing hairdresser.’ Gag me!”

  “Well, both are true.”

  “I know it’s true, you’re great,” I mumbled, attempting to soothe her, “but gullible.”

  “I heard that—I am not gullible. I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt.”

  “Well, Basil hates her and I don’t trust her, so you’re outnumbered. I don’t want her coming around making trouble.”

  “It’s my house too,” Annie whined. “It’s not like she’s going to be my best friend.”

  “I can’t tell you what to do, but please, just keep her away from Basil. He’s likely to do something horrible, and I don’t trust her not to retaliate. I’m going to bed. Good night.”