“Hello, Bitch Goddess,” the blonde beauty said, offering me her hand. When I took it, I finally realized it wasn’t Taylor Momsen who stood in front of me, but Tanja, my Crazy Little Bitch. She turned around to leave, pulling me after her, and together we left the club. The crowd screamed and whistled as we did. Despite feeling dazed and a little numb, I recognized some of the people around us, including Jana, the butch girl who was pumping her fist and cheering wildly.
As soon as we left the club, Tanja stopped at the dimly lit entrance and pulled me towards her. She wrapped her arms around me and pressed her soft lips on mine. She slid her eager tongue into my mouth and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I moaned while she kissed me and I sighed when she broke our kiss.
She smiled at me and said, “Finally, Bette Coldheart! You kept me waiting a long, long time!”
Before I could reply she slid her tongue into my mouth again. My heart beat wildly, as I responded to her passionate kiss. “You really did keep me waiting a long time, Bette,” she repeated earnestly, when we broke our kiss again, taking my face in both her hands. “Don’t you know that I loved you as soon as I saw you? That I realized then, that you were the woman I’d been waiting for my whole life and who I’m never going to leave again?”
My knees finally gave in and I had to cling to her to stay on my feet. In that moment it finally dawned on me how much I wanted this crazy girl, how much I wanted her with all my heart and soul, and with every aching inch of my body.
When I woke up I was wet, both, covered in sweat and wet between my legs, just as I had been in my dream, and my heart was beating wildly. I realized that I wanted to make my dream of being with Tanja a reality. I was twenty-seven years old. In just a few years I’d be thirty, and I was alone. What you would call a single actually. I’d fucked a lot of girls without loving them, and after I’d fucked them, I simply forgot them. But doing that kept getting harder. I’d started to hate the drama that came with sending them away the morning after, and I’d begun to hate myself for doing it. I was making myself miserable. I was making other people miserable, and I had to stop it.
I got out of bed, walked to the bathroom, and undressed. I got in the shower and turned on the water, continuing to think. Something had to change. Hadn’t I just told Jenny that if she were unhappy, she’d have to change her life?
Giving advice was one thing, but actually doing something about it was easier said than done. It’d been years since I’d had a real date with a girl. I realized I had no idea about that whole dating business. I supposed I could take Tanja out to dinner and a movie. That usually led to having sex afterwards, if I remembered correctly. Tanja and I had had sex already, so we’d started totally at the wrong end. We should probably catch up on the dating part then?
Done with my shower, I toweled off, put on jeans and a sweatshirt, and went downstairs, taking my phone with me. As I started the coffeemaker, I sighed, unable to believe how nervous I was about calling Tanja and asking her for a date. I was supposed to be a badass rocker chick, right? So why was I acting like a high school girl with a crush?
I filled my mug with coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. I stared at my phone’s screen until I couldn’t take it any longer. I’d procrastinated long enough! If I wanted to get anywhere with Tanja I had to call her. I searched for her name in my contact list, but there was no Tanja. What the fuck! Hadn’t I watched her entering her name? Taking a closer look at my contact list something struck me: Taylor Momsen! That Crazy Bitch had entered Taylor’s name instead of her own! I shook my head in disbelief, but smiled about her quirks. Without thinking about it one minute longer, I dialed her number.
To my surprise she responded immediately as if she had waited for my call. “Bette Coldheart? What a pleasant surprise!” she exclaimed when she picked up. I smiled, feeling sure that she was smiling, too.
In a deep seductive tone, my voice one octave lower - I couldn’t help using that tone and voice - I said, “Yeah, Baby Doll, it’s me. I wanted to hear your voice, or should I rather say Taylor Momsen’s voice?”
“So you liked my little joke? And you just wanted to hear my voice, Bitch Goddess?” she giggled, and I imagined her pouting adorably as she did so, and it made me feel pleasantly warm all over.
Trying not to laugh I cleared my throat. “I wanted to see you, too, My Crazy Little Bitch,” I replied and then I quickly went on. “Actually, we’re playing an unplugged gig at the mall tomorrow night and I was hoping you’d come.”
“Oh?” she asked, sounding innocent. “You want me to join the Crazy Bitches in the crowd?”
I smiled and purred at her. “Well, actually I was hoping for a little more than that. I was hoping you’d join me after our gig’s over, too.”
She purred back at me. “Are you making me an indecent proposal, Bitch Goddess?” I could hear the suppressed laughter in her voice.
I couldn’t help smiling at that remark. She was so good-natured. “Well, Baby Doll, if you want to call it that, the answer is yes.”
“I hope you know I’d do anything to get into bed with you again, Bette Coldheart,” she cooed in response.
Before replying to her, I had to take a deep breath, and then I growled into the phone, “And I hope you know I’m happy to hear that, My Crazy Bitch.”
After a good deal more chatting and flirting, I managed to tell her where and when our gig would be, and I hung up with a blissful sigh. I wasn’t sure that I’d made what could really be called a date with Tanja, but I’d come close. At least I’d finally worked up the courage to call her. And it was obvious that she was every bit as interested in me as I was in her.
What I wasn’t sure about was the question, if she was only interested in getting into bed with me again like any other Crazy Bitch would have been? Or was there more about it? I didn’t have an answer yet, but I had every intention to find out. Walking to my office I realized I was humming a melody that could have been a first idea for a brand new song for the band.
+++
When we began our unplugged gig, Tanja was standing right in front of the little stage that was set up at the main entrance of the huge electronics store in the mall. She wasn’t wearing Taylor Momsen’s sexy outfit like she was in my dream. Instead, her look was that of an ordinary college girl. She was dressed in black jeans and a The Pretty Reckless t-shirt, the one that said ‘I’m going back to the river’, and she wore her long hair up in a high ponytail. She was as beautiful and sexy as I remembered her, also without the Taylor Momsen makeup.
When Tanja looked up at me she smiled and her smile lit up her pretty face. Our eyes met, and the gleam in her eyes reminded me of the lyrics of the song from my dream. There was something magical about this girl. Something deep inside me responded to her in a way I didn’t understand. I couldn’t wait to be with her, not just sexually, but to spend as much time with her as possible, to get to know her better.
Still, I didn’t get lost in my feelings for Tanja, because I knew I couldn’t afford to right now. I was on stage with my band after all. I particularly wanted this gig to go well, since I’d talked one of Ralf’s friends into filming it. I was sure we could do something with the footage, for example post slices of it on YouTube and our website, or maybe even eventually use it to make a DVD. We’d decide about that once we’d seen the footage.
I kept an eye on our audience while we were playing, and during our first set I noticed that Jenny’s old friends had joined the crowd, and that her pretty, redheaded ex-girlfriend Emilia was with them.
I shot Jenny a quick look to check what effect seeing Emilia was having on her, and I noticed that all color had drained from her beautiful face. She was as pale as a sheet. What the fuck? I wondered and I glanced unobtrusively toward my bandmate’s redheaded ex.
Emilia was pretending not to notice that Jenny was on the stage at all. Instead, she was leaning toward a tall guy with shoulder-length dark-brown hair and three days worth of beard, and she was smiling up at
him. If I hadn’t known how things were, I’d have said she had the hots for him. Then, while I was still watching her, she started laughing at something he’d said in her ear, while looking at him with bedroom eyes from under her long lashes. What a bitch! I thought, furious. The bitch had shown up to our gig just to make Jenny jealous, to fuck with her mind.
While I kept on singing and playing I shot Jenny another look out of the corner of my eye. She noticed, and she gave me a weak little smile. In spite of having a nasty shock Jenny kept her shit together and didn’t make any mistakes. I was proud of her. Reassured, I continued my own performance and ignored the lesbian drama going on.
Tanja was watching me intently and she must have realized that something unusual was going on, because I saw her look at me with raised eyebrows. Right after we finished the song we were doing, I smiled at her and mouthed the word ‘later’. She nodded, showing she understood.
After playing two more songs our first set ended, but I didn’t have time to talk to Jenny or even Tanja, because our Crazy Bitches immediately surrounded me. They were all wildly enthusiastic about our performance, and wanted to take selfies with me, or wanted me to sign autographs for them. One girl even pulled up her shirt and asked me to sign on the top of her ample boobs. Of course I complied with her wish, but ignored her flirtatious glances she shot at me.
From the corner of my eye I noticed that Jenny’s friends were leaving, and that Emilia was still working at making Jenny jealous. She was linking arms with the guy she’d been flirting with. ‘What a bitch’ I thought again, and I tried not to show my anger at her to our fan girls. Soon it was time to start our second set though, and so I signed one last t-shirt, before I joined Ina and Nellie who were talking to Jenny.
“All right ladies, time for our next set,” I said, and my band mates nodded, as they followed me back to the little stage.
I felt sorry for Jenny, and was seriously annoyed with her manipulative ex-girlfriend, but Tanja was waiting for me, and one look into her blue eyes quickly put me in a better mood.
All in all, we played four different sets at the mall. While our first acoustic gig probably wasn’t that much fun for Jenny, I definitely enjoyed it, and so did our audience. The manager of the electronics store was quite happy with our gig, too. After we finished our last encore, he came over to us to shake hands and say thanks. He even presented colorful flower bouquets for each one of us. He praised us effusively and told us that we’d made the opening a great success. We’d done very well for ourselves, too, since we were able to sell quite a few copies of our CD, t-shirts, posters and some other gimmicks.
All this time Tanja had been standing by, waiting patiently, until we were finally ready to load the band’s equipment into our truck. She stood there silently, a cute smile on her pretty face, and when our eyes locked I couldn’t help but show her my broad grin. She gave me that cute little wave that always got me.
“Hello, Baby Doll,” I said, walking up to her and putting my hands on her shoulders.
“Hello yourself, Bette,” she replied, beaming at me as she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me close. She gave me the kiss I’d been craving for days, and it was every bit as magical as the one in my dream.
We were both a little out of breath when we broke our kiss, but then she said earnestly, “That was an amazing gig.”
“Thank you, Baby Doll,” I replied softly not taking my hands off of her.
Abruptly she smiled crookedly and added, “In spite of whatever it was that happened during it.”
“Yeah, you’ve got sharp eyes, Tanja, and you’re smart, too,” I said shaking my head. “Well, you know Jenny told her girlfriend Emilia about Nellie and her?”
Tanja shook her head, wide-eyed.
“And she told Emilia that she wanted the three of them to all be together?”
The beautiful girl in my arms surprised me again. She gasped in shock. “Don’t tell me Emilia turned her down?”
I had to laugh. It was hardly how most girls would have reacted to hearing that, but obviously Tanja wasn’t like most girls at all.
“She sure did, Baby Doll, and she broke up with Jenny.” I sighed heavily. “There was no way that Jenny was over Emilia, and that bitch knew it. So, today she showed up for our gig with a guy and flirted with him during our first set, just that Jenny could see what they were doing, and make her jealous.”
“Ooooh!” Tanja exclaimed, shaking her head solemnly. “It’s not smart to do something like that and particularly not to a girl who’s a songwriter.”
I burst out laughing. If Emilia kept being a bitch, she’d deserve to have Jenny write a song about what had just happened.
Hand in hand we walked over to my bandmates and to Ralf and his crew who were already done loading the truck without needing our help, since we’d brought far less equipment than usual. I let the others know I’d meet them back at the farmhouse. I knew I wanted to be alone with Tanja for a while, so I’d brought my own car and parked in the mall’s garage.
“Are you okay with going back to the farmhouse, Tanja?” I asked her. I was surprised how shy I sounded in my ears.
Tanja beamed at me. “Yes, of course, Bette Coldheart. You don’t even have to ask. I’ll be happy to go with you wherever you take me.”
She made the answer to my simple question sound like a declaration of love. I felt warm all over, and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her soft lips again and again. I took her hand in mine, and together we walked to my car. I unlocked the car, and opened the door on the passenger side for her. She seemed to take my little gesture as a declaration of love for her, because she flashed me a brilliant smile that made the butterflies in my stomach do crazy things.
“You can be so sweet, Bette Coldheart. You’re always surprising me,” she said, gazing at me from under her long lashes.
“You’re always welcome, Baby Doll.”
We didn’t say much during our drive to the farmhouse, but I felt so close to her. We kept exchanging glances and little smiles, and apparently Tanja couldn’t keep her fingers off of me, eventually putting her hand on my leather-clad thigh, while looking at me with bedroom eyes. I had to fight the urge to pull over and make out with her.
Once we got back to the farmhouse, Tanja took her hand off my thigh, starting to look demure, maybe because Ina was waiting for us, her car keys in hand. She was alone. Maybe she hadn’t picked up a girl for the night, again? I wondered why and decided to ask her about it later.
My beautiful bandmate flashed us a smile and said, “I’m going to get us some pizza.”
“Yeah, great idea,” I growled, “I’m hungry like a tigress.” Tanja giggled, reading my mood well enough to realize that I was making a double entendre.
Ina laughed, too. “I want my usual, Princess,” I said to her.
Ina nodded and looked at Tanja inquisitively. “I want pineapple on mine!” my young beauty told her.
Ina and I exchanged wry smiles. Trust Tanja to like something like pineapple pizza. Recognizing the expression on our faces she smiled innocently. “I like the taste of it, so what?”
After my bandmate got into her battered BMW and drove off, I took Tanja’s hand and led her inside the house. Neither Nellie nor Jenny were to be seen, so I supposed the two of them were upstairs in Nellie’s room, where Nell undoubtedly was doing her best to make our beautiful bass player forget the nasty trick her ex-girlfriend had played on her.
“Want a beer, Baby Doll?” I asked Tanja, walking to the kitchen.
“Yeah, sure, Bette,” she answered, following me.
I took two bottles of Lager from the fridge and opened them. “Cheers, Baby Doll,” I said as we clinked our bottles. Tanja was watching me as I drank in eager gulps. She smiled tenderly as she sipped her own beer.
“Yeah, I’m fucking thirsty after our gig, Baby Bitch,” I said. “Ina will be back with our pizzas in a minute, so let’s get ready to eat.” I opened one of the cabinets and took out five large p
lates and a pack of paper napkins, which I handed to Tanja. “Take these to the living room, and I’ll bring the beer, Beautiful.”
Tanja did as I told her, and we went back to the living room. Besides the beers I brought cutlery, too, although I didn’t think anyone was going to use them. After we set everything on the table, I turned on the sound system. “Anything special you’d like to hear?”
As Tanja shook her head, I switched on a classic rock radio station, only to discover that a fucking ‘Whitesnake’ song was playing. “Don’t break my heart again, like you did before…” The lyrics addressed my worst fears and I was utterly speechless for a moment. It must have shown on my face, because Tanja started giggling. I looked up at her, startled.
When she got her giggles under control, she took a deep breath and said, “Oh my God, Bette, the look on your face! Why do you hate Whitesnake that much, Bitch Goddess?”
Ina’s arrival saved me from having to answer that crucial question, since she called out cheerfully, “Hey, pizza’s here!” as she entered the living room, carrying a stack of pizza boxes. After she set them down on the table, she said, “I’ll go get Nell and Jen,” before hurrying out of the room with an eager grin on her face.
Tanja started giggling again. “Oh, oh, somebody’s going to be embarrassed.”
“Yeah, Baby Doll, probably,” I agreed, smiling.
Ina was back after a minute, giggling. “They’ll be down as soon as they’re done doing what they’re doing and put their clothes back on,” she announced, confirming my suspicions about what our two bandmates were up to.
I rolled my eyes and sat down at the table. Abruptly remembering that they were hungry, Ina and Tanja sat down with me, and we all started opening the boxes of pizza and filling our plates.
Hard Rock Hot Heart Page 12