Make Me Stay

by M. E. Gordon

  “Caroline!”

  The deep, demanding voice echoed off the walls. I twisted, not surprised to see Kane standing at the entrance of the walkway. He was gorgeous as always, his hair a sexy mess, his body strong and hard with muscle.

  “Caroline!” he yelled again.

  Deep breath, head held high. You’re doing the right thing, just--keep--walking.

  CHAPTER 34

  Kane

  I ran through the parking garage, after parking my truck in the first spot I saw. It might have been a handicapped spot. I wasn’t really sure and, right then, I didn’t give a fuck. I bought a ticket so I could get back to the gates. I was rounding the corner when I heard them announce the flight that I knew Kitty was getting on.

  I got to the gate, scanning all over but it was nearly empty, the sign above the doorway that lead to the plane was flashing last call. I went to make my way down to the plane, but the ticket lady stopped me. When I looked down the walkway, there at the bottom was Caroline. The large woman still blocking my path, I called to her, “Caroline!”

  “Sir, you can’t go down there without a proper ticket,” the pudgy woman said, taking another step forward to block me.

  “I need to get down there!” I said frantically.

  “I’m sorry but, no ticket, no plane.”

  What a bitch.

  “Caroline!” I yelled, again.

  Kitty stood there, a slight hesitation in the body that I had come to know so well, staring at me. I could have sworn she was going to run back, run to me--that is, until she lifted her chin, fixed the bag on her shoulder, and walked away, taking with her what was left of my heart.

  CHAPTER 35

  Caroline

  Nine Months Later:

  S

  pring in the city was my favorite time of the year--people walking the sidewalks instead of rushing for cabs, buds on the trees, excitement all around. Breathing in the warm, spring, afternoon air, I closed my eyes as I sat at a small table outside of an eatery. So why can’t I enjoy it like I used to?

  “I’ve been dreaming of this single slice of cheesecake for over a week. Thanks for coming down here with me.”

  That was Sarah. Any excuse to get out of the office, she took it, even if it was to cheat on her diet and get a slice of cheesecake.

  “I don’t mind. It’s beautiful out. Your only payment will be a bite of that mouthwatering slice of cheesecake,” I said, adjusting in my seat as she sat down across from me.

  “Fine. I guess I can relinquish one bite, but that’s it! You want more, get in line. It starts down there,” she said, pointing down the sidewalk, where the line ended from out of the eatery. “Did you get everything done for the Miller project?” Sarah asked through a delicate bite of cheesecake.

  “Yup, I finished last night.” Because I don’t have a life, so I just work, and work, and work.

  “I don’t know why you take work home with you?”

  Well, it’s not like I had anything else to do, and working kept my mind off things. “It’s not that bad. I don’t mind,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders and wiggling my fingers for the fork. “I’ll take that bite now.”

  Reluctantly she handed it over. Sarah was the first friend that I made since moving back to New York. It helped that we worked three cubicles down from one another in the beginning, until they gave me my own office. It was small and nothing to write home about, but I had worked my butt off and was rewarded greatly.

  Sarah was the type of friend who took my mind off my own problems. I’d sit day after day at lunch with her as she ranted about all the men she had coming in and out of her life. The drama that came with each one was enough to keep me occupied with trying to figure out her love life, rather than dipping into mine. I had been dragged on a number of double dates with her. The guys were all nice, good-looking career men, but they weren’t--

  Okay, fine, I had slept with two of them. I’m human, a girl has her needs. Was it good? Hell no, it was almost torturous. I didn’t want to admit it, but I had been ruined.

  One hour left. I sat at the large desk, my fellow colleagues talking about the project at hand. The sounds of their voices lulled me into a daze. I found myself drifting off more and more as time went on.

  “Caroline, do you have the charts?” Danny, the lead director, asked.

  He was young for attaining the lead position, somewhere in his late thirties. A handsome guy with slicked back brown hair, he had a few hints of gray around his temples, which was the only thing that gave his age away. He had a sexy full beard--which was perfectly maintained so he didn’t look like he just came out of the woods--dress slacks, button up shirt, dark blue tie, and thin suspenders.

  Danny was the talk of the office. The women here couldn’t get enough of him.

  “Caroline,” he said, a little more urgently.

  “Yeah, I’ve got them right here.” I stood from my chair and handed the papers to him.

  His gaze held mine a little longer than necessary. He furrowed his brow. I knew he was asking if I was all right. I smiled back and then sat down in my chair again. I made sure to stay focused for the rest of the meeting, adding my input and staying alert.

  Sitting at my desk, I was wrapping things up for the evening when Danny knocked.

  “Can I come in?” he asked, peeking his head in the door.

  “Yeah, I was just closing up for the weekend. What do you need? And I swear to God Danny, if you ask me to get you the Walker papers, I’m going to stab you with this pen.”

  We had a good working relationship. Mainly because I was amazing and got his ass out of trouble all the time. So in return, I was able to talk to him like that without getting fired, but if we were in a group setting, I knew my place and didn’t step on his toes.

  “Calm down, tiger, no need to stab me today. I was concerned about earlier. You were frozen for a little while in the meeting. Anything you want to talk about, you know I’m here for ya.”

  Danny was a sweet guy, under all the commanding dress clothes and beard. He was a considerate, caring guy. I think he played up the whole badass business guy to cover up the shy sweetheart that he was.

  “I’m fine, really, you don’t have to worry about me,” I said, unclicking my pen and putting it in my drawer.

  We were small talking about an upcoming project when there was another knock at my door. Sarah came in, eyeing up Danny like the rest of the vultures in the office. Sarah had let Danny know her intentions. I thought it was a little game the two of them played. “Danny, looking good, love the suspenders,” she said, licking her lips.

  “So you’ve told me, every day that I wear them,” he replied, leaning on my desk.

  “What do you need Sarah?” I asked, looking around Danny’s lean body.

  “Umm, there’s someone wondering around the office looking for you. Should I send him in?” she asked.

  “Yeah why not, party in my office.”

  Winking at Danny, she turned and left the room.

  “I still don’t see why you’re friends with her,” Danny said, turning his head to look down at me, but still leaning against my desk.

  “I think you two should just fuck and get it over with,” I said, smiling up at him.

  “I don’t think so. You and I both know that girl’s track record. I’m not trying to be a part of it. I’m in the market for normal, not psycho.”

  We laughed until there was another knock at my door. A tall man in a suit walked in and headed straight for my desk.

  Danny stood, moving aside.

  “Are you Caroline James?” the man asked.

  “Yes, what can I--”

  “You’ve been served,” he said, pulling an envelope from the inside pocket of his suit.

  I stood from my chair, taking the letter between my fingers.

  “Have a nice weekend,” he said, before turning to leave.

  “Yeah, thanks.” Turning the envelope over in my hands, I read the return address. Slumping down
in my chair, because my legs couldn’t hold me up, I stared at the letter. I had just been summoned to Nowheresville, Maryland, next week.

  ***

  I packed a bag and headed straight for the airport, a million scenarios running through my head. I was being summoned to testify in court. The case was Janet Hallows vs. Nathan Rodgers. I honestly hadn’t thought about Nate since I moved up here. He was in my past, a past that wasn’t supposed to make a reappearance.

  I called my dad on the way to the airport. I had kept my promise and I talked to him almost every day. It was hard at first. He was mad at me for leaving, but our conversations got easier.

  I told him about my new life, my new friends, hell I even told him I was dating. My father reciprocated by telling me the entire goings on at the bar. He hired a few new girls to take my place, and Kara was still running the bar like a well-oiled machine. He told me the guys were still playing every once in a while, but they were on tour with another band. He’d always stop there because I’d change the subject.

  Kane was a big part of why I left, I was just happy to know that he was doing well. I didn’t need details. It hurt too much when my father would tell me how down he was, or how he’d drink himself stupid over me leaving. We’d end up fighting over the phone, and I’d eventually hang up, but either he or I would call back the next day. After about a month or so, my father stopped bringing it up. He would tell me funny stories about the guys but never pinpointed Kane.

  The only thing I knew about him now was that he was on tour, opening for 4 Alliance. I hadn’t talked to him or any of the guys. I tried calling JJ once but he didn’t answer. I didn’t leave a message, and he didn’t call back. I understood why. I had hurt his best friend, but I missed the guys, I missed seeing them in the beginning. They were such a big part of my life those four months I was there. But time went on, and it got easier--kind of.

  I waited, sitting in a cab that smelt like a potpourri jar. One ring, no answer. Two rings, nothing. Dammit.

  “Hello.”

  I froze on the other end; I was going to have to tell him about Nate, if he didn’t already know. “Hey, Dad.”

  “I guess you got your letter?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I got it. Do you know what it’s about?”

  Now, there was silence on his end and I knew without a doubt he did.

  “Yes, I know. I’ve known since you left.”

  “How did you--”

  “Kane,” he said, cutting me off. “He told me everything.”

  Why am I just finding out about this? “Why didn’t you tell me? And why the hell did Kane tell you? I asked him to keep it to himself.”

  “Well, Caroline, when you just packed up and left without giving anyone, especially Kane, time to process, I guess telling me everything was his way of getting over you.”

  “Dad, you knew I wasn’t staying. He knew I wasn’t staying. Are we really going to have this conversation again?”

  “Caroline, you put us through hell by leaving. I love that boy like a son and to see him spiral downward was almost as hard as watching you leave me, again.”

  We had had this same conversation or some version of it at least twenty times before and, frankly, I was tired of explaining myself.

  “Dad, I said I was sorry. I’m not the same girl that left you high and dry when Mom died. I’ve called you every day, you’ve come to visit me. I don’t know what else you want me to do. This is my life. I grew up, moved away. I can’t stay with you forever.”

  “I know that, I do, but dammit, Caroline, you broke that boy’s heart, his spirit, by running away like you did.” His voice got deeper with his impending anger.

  “Dad...” I didn’t know what to say to him. I knew that I had done all those things. My heart was breaking too, but people moved on. I had moved on--I had tried to move on.

  CHAPTER 36

  Kane

  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  A tender hand came up my arm as I lay on my side in bed. What was wrong with me? I turned over in bed, meeting a concerned face, green eyes, and black hair. Every morning for two months, I expected to see a mane of blonde hair, liquid blue eyes, but every morning it wasn’t, because she was gone.

  “Hey,” this one said, leaving a soft kiss on my lips.

  The month following Caroline’s untimely departure, I was a fucking mess. I drank every night until I couldn’t see straight, I missed work. The only thing I did do, was sing my ass off. I killed it every night on stage. Two months after she left, I was making my way out of a drunken haze. It helped to know that we would begin touring with 4 Alliance in the coming weeks. They had signed us on for a grueling seven-month tour that started in December and went through June. At least something good came out of that fucking horrible night.

  Two nights after Caroline left, I told B everything about Nate. If I couldn’t be with her, if she didn’t want to be with me, then I needed something to occupy my time, and putting that jackass Nate behind bars was my distraction. I was right. It didn’t take me long to find a girl, then another. The problem I had was getting them to testify. That’s where Caroline came in. She and Janet were the only ones who could testify, along with me. Everyone else was too drugged to remember anything.

  That’s why I was back in town. I was going to finish what I had started and put Nate fucking Rodgers away. Unfortunately, I didn’t think this out clearly enough, because now I was going to have to see Caroline. I had made sure that our days to testify were different. Thank God, the judge’s daughter loved ONS. But that could go only so far.

  This was a small town with not many places to hide. I didn’t know how I was going to react if I saw her.

  I could deal with overhearing about her in the bar. I had moved on like she told me to do, via her father. There was a woman in my life, the one who was staring at me right now. We weren’t exclusive, and she knew that. It was convenient for us. We were familiar to one another--a “sex-only relationship” we called it. Chloe and the rest of Fallen were also on tour with us--4 Alliance had gone through Baltimore first and found them, and they, in return, sent them out here to hear us.

  The rest of the bands were somewhere in New Jersey. Chloe and I were going to meet back up with them tomorrow after I made an appearance in court. We were taking advantage of the night away from everyone. Fucking in a crowded tour bus, in only a twin size cubby was not ideal, for anyone. Although I thought Reece benefited, since he was across from us. His little curtain rarely stayed closed.

  “Kane, you in there?” Chloe asked, grabbing my chin and turning my head, so I was forced to look at her.

  “What do you want, Chloe? I’m here,” I quipped.

  She sat up from the bed, turning away from me. “Whatever, Kane.”

  I didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh. So I sat up, scooting so I was behind her, engulfing her in my arms. I moved her long, sleek, black hair away, and rested my head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I whispered in her ear, which made her scrunch her neck up.

  “Really? What’s going on with you? You’ve been tense and just weird the past few days. This doesn’t have anything to do with that girl Kitty, does it?”

  My jaw clenched and my pulse jumped at the sound of her name. “Fuck no, she’s a bitch,” I said, annoyed.

  “Uh-huh.” Chloe turned in my arms, facing me. She wrapped her long Amazon legs around my waist, waiting to hear more.

  I let my hand run up the pale, tattooed skin of her arm. “I mean it. I said I was done and I am.”

  “Good, because I like our arrangement. Not that I’m being possessive, but I really enjoy our time together and don’t want it to end.”

  “Neither do I.”

  I wasn’t lying. I really enjoyed Chloe, all of Chloe. I had moved on. Caroline wasn’t going to ruin me again. I had gotten my life back. Was there a massive hole in my heart? Hell, yeah, there was, no thanks to her. Was I going to let myself fall for her or anyone ever again? Fuck no! I learned my lesson.r />
  ***

  I walked into the courtroom earlier than necessary, my hair, slicked back, parted, and off my face, thanks to Chloe’s handy work. She had also helped me buy a new outfit, something more presentable for the courtroom than jeans and a T-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Chloe was not only great in bed, but damn, could she dress a guy. I looked like I stepped out of some GQ photo shoot.

  We sat next to each other during the whole preceding. It was long and boring, but when it was my turn to approach, I laid it all out there, every last detail. While I explained what I had witnessed and all the women whom had told me they thought Nate had taken advantage of them, he just sat there--twenty-some odd feet away from me, with that smug look on his face. He acted like I was telling a joke, chuckling to himself. The fucker really thinks he’s untouchable.

  My hands were fisted so tightly, I was sure my nails were drawing blood in my palms. I tried to ignore him, answer the questions being asked, but the only thing I could think of, was punching him in the face. B was there for support. I told him last night when he came to the house, that I wasn’t doing this for his daughter anymore. I was doing it to stop Nate from hurting other women. I had found seven in the month after Caroline left, and I had a feeling that was just the tip of the iceberg.

  When it was over, when I was done saying all that I needed to, I walked by him, my fists still clenched. I needed to get out of there before I turned back and decked him. His lawyer was telling him something, and he again chuckled to himself. They had played up the fact that I was playboy, a womanizer, but I made sure to explain that I never had to drug or rape a woman to get lucky. I was a step past him when I heard, “Meeeoooow.”