Love is Fear

by Caroline Hanson

  Ignore it.

  She kept walking, stripped off her clothes down to her chemise, a thin cotton undergarment that was like a slip. Nothing would stop her from going into the water. In the middle of the pond was an island with a red Orchid in full-bloom. The flower got caught up in the breeze, swaying gently as though it wanted to make sure she saw it. As though it was begging for her touch.

  “Stop.”

  “Lucas. You’re back.” She didn’t look away from the flower on the island, but knew he was behind her.

  “There is magic here, Valerie. Do you feel it?”

  “No.” She needed to get to that island.

  He needs to leave.

  “You must not do anything else until we know what’s going on. We must talk to Rachel.”

  Val waded into the water. Lucas cursed, the splash of his footsteps audible as he followed her into the water. She dove, swimming frantically in hopes of avoiding him and getting to the last flower.

  To Cerdewellyn.

  Lucas pulled her ankle and yanked her up, his hard arm wrapping around her waist.

  “No. No. You cannot!” he growled at her, hauling her back towards the shore.

  She screeched and tried to pull away from him, kicking him hard in the leg. He grunted and continued to drag her out of the water. The weather changed, a storm coming in from the east, covering the land and them, rain soaking through her and chilling her to the bone within moments.

  She kicked out again, and Lucas dropped her to the ground. His hair was plastered around his face, highlighting his harsh cheekbones and the severity of his features. “Wake up, Valerie. Wake up now!”

  Val woke with a cry to find Lucas over her, shaking her hard.

  “Let go. I’m fine. I’m fine,” she said. Even to her, it sounded like a lie.

  Chapter 25

  There was a knock at the door, and Rachel came in wearing a red silk robe, her hair tousled and free of makeup. It made her look young and innocent, like the makeup turned her into someone else and the real her was a lot more vulnerable than one would expect.

  “You rang?” Rachel said.

  “She is dreaming of the Fey and is compelled to pick flowers,” Lucas said quickly. He was wearing jeans, having dressed in haste a moment ago, the top button still undone. He put his hands on his hips and waited for Rachel to speak.

  Rachel pursed her lips. “Forced to pick flowers, you say. Sounds like something serious to me. Even your dreams are boring. Christ, all I ever dreamed about was sex and death, but you—”

  Lucas grabbed Rachel around the throat and slammed her against the wall, her words choked off in a gurgle.

  “Do not belittle what I say. What can it mean that she sees these things? She is performing a task for the Fey. You must see how dangerous this is? Someone knows of her, is using her for something. I want that connection severed.” His words were deadly. The threat in them, his willingness to harm Rachel shocked Val, made her pull the sheet up higher on her body and wrap it close.

  He dropped her and stepped back. Rachel coughed and shot him a look under her lashes. “Okay. Well, the Fey used to be able to come to people they had a connection with. So how did you get a connection with the Fey? In legends it was eating an apple or drinking something, even making them a promise. Did you do anything like that?”

  “No,” Val said.

  “What happened to the blood from the spell?” Lucas asked Rachel.

  “I burned it,” she said without hesitation.

  “Was any blood spilled?”

  Rachel shook her head. “I was careful.”

  “Were you careful?” Lucas asked Val. Meeting his gaze was like bumping into an electrical force-field.

  “With what?” Val asked, confused.

  Lucas asked the words tightly, like he’d shout if he wasn’t careful. “Did you spill any blood while we were searching for the Fey?”

  “Probably. I was dripping blood,” Val said.

  Lucas put his head back, thunking it lightly against the wall. “I assume you must know what I know, that things which are second nature to me would be obvious to all….” He took a deep breath, actually closing his eyes in agitation before speaking, “Here is your lesson then. And you must listen well. Do not ever let an Other of any kind have something of yours. Be it blood, hair, even clothing. All of these things contain your essence. Curses can be made, your will manipulated. And they can find you. As you now know. If you bleed, wipe it up, keep the handkerchief until you can incinerate it.”

  “So what, from now on if I have a cold or a bloody nose, I have to put soggy tissues in my pocket until I can have a little bonfire in my wastebasket?”

  Lucas shot her a look she couldn’t interpret. “Yes.”

  He was apparently done with Val, because he addressed Rachel. “I want that connection gone, immediately. What do you need to make that happen?” Lucas said, picking up Val’s clothes off the ground and throwing them at her.

  “I can be ready by sundown.”

  “And we meet back at the clearing?” Lucas asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Fine. I have something to take care of and then we will be there.”

  Rachel bowed rather insolently, then left.

  Lucas went to his closet and pulled out a green cashmere sweater, pulling it on over his head as he walked back to her. “You will be fine. We will fix this. But, do not go back to sleep.”

  Val wasn’t sure how afraid she should be. But Rachel had been spooked, Lucas seemed in panic mode—which meant he was moving and talking like a normal person—so she knew she should be worried. “Don’t go back to sleep? That’s your advice? And where are you going? You’re not going to stay with me?”

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said softly.

  “Where are you going?” she asked, suddenly feeling like her stomach was full of curdled milk.

  “I will not go to the Fey without being at full strength. I must feed. I will be back as soon as I may.”

  She tried to bite the words back, but failed. “Who is it?” she couldn’t help but ask.

  He turned back, his expression stern and distant. “It does not even matter. I could not give you a name if I wanted to. I do not ask. I do not care. The only thing that I am thinking now is that I have to keep you safe. Do not ask me to jeopardize that.”

  She could feel his eagerness to leave. “What if I did?”

  He shook his head. A warning.

  “What if I did?” she repeated.

  “What would you ask? That I never feed again? That I drink only from males or in a cup? It is only as important as you make it. It means nothing.”

  “It does mean something, because you won’t drink from me when you know how much I want it. How much you want it!”

  “Want is irrelevant. You wanted Jack. You wanted me. Now you want me to drink your blood, when before the idea disgusted you. We all want things, more so when we cannot have them.”

  “But—”

  “Do not.” And then he was out the door, the conversation over and Val was alone, in his bed, with no underwear and the desperate urge to hit something.

  Chapter 26

  Jack and Rachel were at the edge of the forest when they arrived. Jack had come over and handed her a Kit-Kat bar. It was her favorite, and he knew she had a weakness for them.

  “You think this is going to be enough to make me let you stay?” Val asked.

  “It’s a King size.”

  Good point. “I don’t think this is a good—”

  Jack cut her off. “I know what you are going to say, and I promise not to do anything stupid. I got you into this.”

  “Lucas will make Rachel take you back. Look, there they go,” she said, watching as Rachel and Lucas stepped away from them, presumably so that Lucas could bitch Rachel out about bringing Jack.

  Rachel had her arms crossed and was looking at the ground. Lucas was tall and imposing, wearing a green cashmere sweater and black jeans. H
e gestured to the forest around them with one hand and then towards where Val and Jack stood.

  “Uh-oh he gestured at her. He must be pretty riled up,” Val murmured.

  “I can’t tell if you’re kidding or not,” Jack said and she knew he was scowling.

  Val shrugged. “I don’t know if I’m kidding or not! The man is elusive. Who knows what agesture might mean? But I’ll tell you what I do know. I know he will want you gone.”

  “Yes, but he wants to get into your pants more. Tell him it’s alright with you if I stay. I’ll behave. Besides, we should be out of here in ten minutes. That’s what Rachel said, anyway.”

  She gave him a long searching look. Then he gave her the puppy dog expression. Dammit. “Don’t do anything stupid!” Val said, stepping closer to him and sticking a finger in his face.

  “Deal.” He stepped around her and started walking back to Rachel and Lucas. Val followed him, noting how Lucas and Rachel instantly stopped talking and took a step back from each other. As if they were the cool kids and wouldn’t say anything around her and Jack cause they were lame.

  She really hoped Lucas would punish Rachel. But only after she got Val out of this Fey business, though. Maybe that really was the reason Rachel got away with so much backtalk and attempted murder: if you need a witch, who you gonna call? Rachel. And Lucas couldn’t call her if she was dead. Still. One of these days, she was going to get her comeuppance.

  Hopefully.

  The birds were plentiful, squawking and calling to each other as they walked back to the clearing. They were almost there, no more than a hundred feet away when Val noticed a subtle change. At first, she wasn’t sure what it was. If it was a different sound, smell, temperature or what. It was just…odd.

  Wait. It was the sound of their shoes that was different. Almost like they echoed differently, more muffled, as if the ground was softer.

  She turned back and looked at Lucas, who was a few steps behind her. His gaze locked on hers with laser-like precision, and she shivered. Goosebumps raced up her spine, and she didn’t know if it was him or the cold. Over his shoulder, the way they had come, was in shadow as if the sun was setting on that space. She looked at her watch. 5:30 pm. What the hell?

  She studied the road behind them again. It was definitely darker. And the trees were a deeper green, a slight shimmer on the leaves in front of them.

  “What is that?” Jack said, pointing.

  Val was surprised when Lucas took Jack seriously, instantly scanning the area and on the alert.

  “What do you see?” Lucas asked Jack, quiet intensity lacing his words as he moved closer to her, as if he was ready to protect her should the need arise.

  “I see shadows. Like this path is brighter, and the one behind us is darker. It’s almost like it’s farther—”

  “Grab him and run,” Lucas said harshly, before picking Val up in his arms, carrying her fireman-style and running, inhumanly fast so that the trees were a blur. Behind her, she saw Rachel had taken Jack ’s arm and was propelling him along, lending him speed.

  Lucas pushed harder, ducking, weaving like an animal racing over his territory. And then all the forest looked the same, uniform and she wondered if it had just been a trick of the light.

  He stopped and put her down before walking in a small, agitated circle. “Let’s go back. They’ll be just down the path, I imagine.” He began to walk, and she followed him, looking behind her once more. Everything looked the same now.

  The day was sunny again, but then she realized the differences. Their feet didn’t crunch on the ground, and the birds were silent. They were in the same forest, but it felt empty.

  Dead.

  Jack and Rachel were suddenly before them, one moment out of distance, the next visible like a camera lens going from blurry to sharp in a quick twist. Jack stopped, hands on hips, breathing hard.

  “What the fuck?” he gasped.

  Val shot a glare at Jack. “Really? You can’t even get out a whole sentence?”

  “You know what I mean. Fine. What the fuck is going on?”

  Rachel was staring at Lucas and shaking her head slightly, a look of fear on her face. She’d seen Rachel afraid once before. When Lucas was deciding whether or not he’d kill her after she and her uber-murderous girlfriend had tried to kill him. Now she was worried again? This is bad.

  “Welcome to the world of the Fey,” Lucas said quietly.

  “Go on,” Jack said, like he was trying to hold on to his temper.

  “Someone has brought us here. Carefully, as well. They shifted us out of our time subtly, so we did not notice.”

  Rachel bent down, touching the dirt, taking some in her hands and spilling it between her fingers. “That’s pretty damned impressive. I should have felt something. And if not me, I would have thought you would,” Rachel said casually. But the set of her shoulders and the way her attention was focused on the small task in front of her, made Valerie think that Rachel was anything but relaxed.

  “Indeed, vampires are not immune to Fey Glamour. Typically we are more susceptible. It was part of the reason we hunted them in the first place. There is no reason to tolerate an enemy,” Lucas said tightly.

  “Are you talking about me?” Jack said.

  “You flatter yourself.” The words held no inflection.

  Valerie stepped between them. Wasn’t it supposed to be hot to have two guys fight over her? It wasn’t hot. She felt guilty, clammy and petrified. “This is bullshit. There are more important things going on than your petty insults!” Val was happy with her word choice. She’d wanted to make some comment about them having a pissing contest or seeing who had the bigger penis, but managed some tact.

  After a beat, Jack nodded, then said, “So, who is it and what do they want?”

  “I do appreciate your pragmatism, Jack.” Lucas said, his tone indicating he didn’t like anything about Jack.

  “You don’t need to appreciate fuck all about me.”

  “We will need shelter immediately,” Lucas said, scanning the dense forest all around them. It all looked the same to Val. Trees. More trees. Lots more trees. And, undoubtedly, a huge number of bugs who would gnosh on her.

  “You want to find shelter? We need to get out of here, not set up house,” Jack said.

  Rachel turned to Jack, dropping the dirt from her hands and wiping them together. “I feel magic because I’m a witch. Unless someone is incredibly powerful, I should have felt the shift when we left our reality and entered the Fey World. At the very least, I should have been aware of something, even if I couldn’t see it. I didn’t notice a thing. Do you notice it now? It’s almost like the…quality of the world is different. This world is almost heavier. At least that’s how it feels to me.”

  “And you can feel it now?” Lucas asked Rachel.

  She nodded unhappily. “Yeah, I feel it.”

  “Whoever has brought us here has dispensed with subtlety, then. They dropped the magic that kept you from noticing.”

  Val bit her lip. “Wait. Do you see it?” she asked Lucas.

  He gave her a haughty look and didn’t answer.

  “What does that mean?” Jack said.

  “It means we’re in deep shit,” Rachel said.

  Lucas ignored her comment. “Whoever has done this knew we were in Roanoke and brought us to them intentionally. So they can open the portal, take people, but cannot leave themselves.” It was clear he wasn’t looking for an answer.

  He continued, “After the incident with the Lost Colony, there are no known incidents of people disappearing over the last few centuries. No mysterious circumstances surrounding kidnapped people occurring in the woods. Either something has changed, or the Fey felt no need to take anyone.” His gaze landed heavily on Valerie. “Perhaps there was no one interesting enough to take. Until now.”

  Valerie looked up at Lucas, arms crossed, shoulders hunched a little. “Hey, you’re the one who killed them all. Maybe they brought us here because of you. Have
you been here before?”

  His cheeks hollowed, jaw hardened. A sign of defiance? Anger?” No. A vampire’s powers are greatly reduced in their world. Witches kept us apprised of where the portals were and we avoided them. Occasionally a vampire disappeared into the Fey realm.” A lengthy pause. “Rarely did they return.”

  Valerie turned to Rachel. She didn’t trust her. Couldn’t believe she’d want them here on purpose but felt the need to ask. “Why didn’t you feel it, then? You’re a witch. Shouldn’t you have noticed?”

  She scowled. “Yeah. And I probably would have if I’d ever felt Fey magic before. Or if I hung out with other witches and swapped trade secrets. I just didn’t feel it.” She shrugged then leaned in towards Val a little. “But next time, I’m on it! Won’t fool me twice.” Her words were vicious somehow and Val turned, stalking away.

  She wasn’t going to fight with Rachel right now. Maybe later. Jack reached out, put his hand on Rachel’s arm for a brief moment, getting her attention. He shook his head at Rachel, telling her without words to settle down.

  Rachel rolled her eyes.

  Val gasped. “Is that snow?” In the distance, white clouds were rolling in, a massive storm coming towards them.

  “We need shelter. We are here and we are at the mercy of the Fey for a reason. To assume they don’t wish us harm is folly. Let us go.”

  “Shouldn’t we try to find a castle or something? Seek refuge there?” Rachel asked.

  “If they had wanted us at the castle, we would be there. They would have brought us there. This location was chosen for a reason. Survival is everything now,” Lucas said.

  “My instincts tell me we should stick together and not give the Fey a chance to separate us. However, we could find shelter faster if we roamed ahead and tracked back, Rachel said to Lucas.

  “You’re a witch. You may be more valuable than I to their survival at this point. But I will not leave her undefended…and I imagine they want us separated.” Lucas sighed, a frustrated sound. “We stay together. It is not worth the risk. Do you know how to send out your will?” he asked Rachel.