Breaking the Limits

by Nichole, Stephanie

  ****

  Ace

  It’s late by the time I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex. I notice that Kynlee is already home. I figured she’d be working pretty late after she switched shifts, so I decided to go back over to my family’s shop and help out with what I could after I had closed up at Inkredible. It’s possible I was avoiding the inevitable conversation that is coming, the one where Kynlee tells me about her auditions and I have to keep my opinions and jealousy to myself. Over the past year I have learned that letting either of those two things get in the way of Kynlee’s determination just makes things worse.

  Even though I still hate the idea of her strutting around in lingerie for anyone but me to see or risqué pictures of her being taken and seen by anyone still eats at me, still bugs the hell out of me, still unburies the burning jealousy in my veins, I have learned to keep my mouth shut. I have come to understand that Kynlee craves attention, spotlight, those all eyes on me moments and I understand that my attention isn’t nearly enough to keep her satisfied. I have tried so hard to make it enough but at the end of the day it just isn’t. For some reason Kynlee doesn’t see herself the way the rest of us do. She still sees that outcast girl but the truth is that the moment she walks into a room all eyes are instantly drawn to her. There are multiple reasons why both men and women turn their heads toward her when she enters, it could be those warm brown eyes or that ridiculously long dark hair that frames her pale face or that full set up lips that most girls pay thousands of dollars for. For whatever reason Kynlee is an attention getter, but she just can’t seem to see that.

  The other reason I have learned to keep my mouth shut whenever she brings up her dream career choice is because if I voice my opinions or let my emotions get the best of me, she feels as if I’m trying to hold her back or own her. That isn’t the case; not at all. Truth is, I can’t put into words what I feel for Kynlee, I sure can’t voice how strongly I feel for her but because of those feelings I wanted nothing more than to protect her, to take care of her. I want her to be mine, all mine and no one else’s. I have never been good at sharing and Kynlee is no exception for me but since I can’t really explain any of this I can’t make her understand where I’m coming from.

  Finally, I give in and get out of the car. I feel the dread fill my stomach as I climb the stairs. I‘m trying my best to prepare myself for what is on the other side of the door. When I open the door, the apartment is dark with the exception of the TV screen lighting up the small living room area. I close the door quietly behind me and make my way over to the couch where I see Kynlee curled up in a ball under a blanket. Her hair is still damp from her shower and her face is clean of makeup. I love seeing her in moments like this. This is the Kynlee that no one gets to see but me but I still wish they wouldn’t see the rest too.

  Looking for the remote I turn off the TV then scoop Kynlee up in my arms. She stirs slightly and mumbles something I can’t quite make out but I’m pretty sure it’s my name. “I gotcha baby doll,” I whisper as I lower her into the bed and pull the comforter on top of her. She has the tendency to get cold at night. I smooth her hair away from her face before pressing a light kiss to her cheek.

  After a quick shower I pull on a pair of boxer briefs and crawl into bed. Kynlee rolls over resting her hand on my upper arm. This is how we sleep most nights, me on my back with her hand resting on my bicep and my hand resting on top of her thigh. I can feel her slow and even breathing on my skin, smell the vanilla scent of her shampoo, the warmth coming off my skin keeping her warm as well. As I lie there I can’t help but think back to one of our first official dates.

  I can’t remember ever being this nervous before especially when it comes to a girl. I have stood in front of my closet debating over what to wear which is ridiculous since I pretty much own all the same stuff. My closet consists of the same type of jeans (just different colors), simple t-shirts (just different colors) and band t-shirts, not a whole lot to pick from. Mentally, I curse myself as I try to figure out what is wrong with me. Giving up I call Pierce for a few reasons. Pierce is one of my best friends, always has been and always will be. Pierce is also pretty good when dressing to impress and even though I know he has a date tonight I also know he’ll come help me out first.

  Sure, enough he walks through my front door a few minutes after we hang up the phone. I’m still standing in front of my closet with my hair done, but nothing on but my boxer briefs. Pierce comes in and takes one look at me and laughs, “Dude, you’ve got it bad.”

  “Shut the hell up and help me out before you’re late for your own date,” Pierce raises his eyebrows. I respect the fact that Pierce tries to keep his personal preferences quiet, but I really didn’t see any reason for it. Pierce is gay but I don’t care and neither does our other best friend Jaxx. To us he is just Pierce, “Rocky right?”

  He nods his head, “I hadn’t realized you guys knew.”

  I look him in the eye while I squeeze his shoulder, “We know, we just don’t care. I’m still trying to figure out why you thought we would to begin with.”

  Pierce shrugs his shoulders, “A lot of people would.”

  “Well, those people freaking suck and don’t belong in your life anyways. As far as I’m concerned, you’re my brother from another mother that knows how to dress to impress, so help this brother out,” I tell him which causes a laugh and I see the normal light return to Pierce’s eyes.

  Fifteen minutes later I’m dressed and heading down the stairs with Pierce. He has taken my simple closet and manages to make me look like I had gone shopping for my date with Kynlee. Pierce wishes me good luck on my date and I do the same to him. As I get in the car I have to remind myself to breathe.

  When I arrive at Kynlee’s apartment I give myself a quick pep talk but nothing prepares me for seeing Kynlee open the front door. I had told her it would be a casual date and she has dressed for it. Her simple yellow sundress and white wedges are simple, but only make her beauty shine brighter. Her hair hangs in lose waves with one side of it pinned back.

  I took her out to eat then down to the boardwalk where we do a little shopping, ate some more junk food and dance out on the pier to some local music. I have never really dated before but I’m pretty sure nothing can compare to this one. To holding Kynlee in my arms while we sway to the music, her hair dancing with the breeze and shining in the moonlight, the vanilla honey scent of her skin mixed with the salty scent in the air. When I lean in and kiss her, the lemon flavor of her lip gloss has just been another thing to add to the list of things to remember.

  Chapter 14

  Kynlee

  I wake up the next morning curled up next to Ace. I search my memory but can only vaguely remember being carried to the bedroom. The last thing I can really remember is watching some movie on TV and I must have fallen asleep on the couch before Ace got home. I stretch my stiff muscles then decide to surprise Ace with breakfast. Quietly, I get out of the bed and make my way to the kitchen. I think breakfast in bed would soften the blow of the telling him about the Royal Eternity music video.

  I make Ace’s favorite, French toast with maple syrup while the coffee brews. After fixing the plate I make my way back to the room. I sit the food on the nightstand then crawl back into the bed next to Ace. I lean over and press a kiss to his lips. Slowly his blue eyes become visible. “Morning hot stuff,” I tell him with a wink.

  He chuckles, “Morning baby doll, something smells amazing.”

  “Oh, it’s because I cooked French toast.”

  He shakes his head slightly “Yeah, that smells good too.” Then he winks at me before pulling my mouth back to his. He kisses me with so much emotion that I’m becoming overwhelmed. A kiss like this won’t soften the blow about the music video, but I can’t stop kissing him back.

  Finally, I pull away just enough to tell him, “Your breakfast is going to get cold.”

  “That’s okay I could always just have you for breakfas
t,” He says with that wicked sexy smile of his.

  I push him back while I sit up. “Nice try but we both have work today and I figured you’d want to take Jovi to school.

  He sighs heavily while sitting up. “Yeah I do,” he takes a sip of coffee. “So how did the auditions go?”

  “Technically, one was a go see and the other was a casting call, but that’s not important. The go see was for a new lingerie company starting up called Wicked Little Things. Little being the key word,” I say with a laugh. “That one went well. I think I might really have a chance at that one.”

  “And the casting call?”

  I shrug trying to play it off like it isn’t a big deal. Like this music video isn’t for Ace’s former band with a guy that he definitely has tension with. “It was for a music video for some new band.”

  “Really? Are they any good?”

  “They seem to have a pretty good fan base, but I’ve heard better.” Oh, my goodness, I just lied to Ace. Why did I just lie to Ace?

  “Yeah? Have I heard them?” he asks, while taking a bite of his toast.

  I shake my head. “No.” Oh my goodness another lie! What the hell Kynlee? “Besides, I doubt I’ll get that one. I was the only brunette at the casting call.”

  “They’d be crazy not to pick you,” he cuts another bite out of the toast and swirls it around the syrup. “Here baby doll,” he says, holding the fork out toward me. I lean forward and take the bite, but the sweetness of the bite doesn’t settle well with my knotted-up stomach. The guilt of lying to Ace is already weighing me down. Nausea washes over me in waves and I quickly excuse myself before I become sick and go to the bathroom.

  Ace leaves to take Jovi to school and head into work. As soon as the door shuts behind him I text Kenndrix.

  Kynlee: Hey

  Kenndrix: What’s wrong?

  Kynlee: What do you mean?

  How does she do that? How does she know by a text that something is wrong?

  Kenndrix: Seriously?

  Kenndrix: I’m coming over

  Kenndrix: Now!

  I’m still sitting on the couch, the weight of the guilt unmoving when Kenndrix unlocks the door and comes in. I had given her a key in case of emergencies when I had first started living here, more or less. She looks over at me and instantly I start bawling. She throws her purse and sack to the floor before sitting on the couch and pulling me into her arms.

  “What the hell is wrong Kynlee?”

  I shake my head while trying to regain some of my composure. “I lied to Ace,” I manage to choke out.

  I feel her stiffen for a moment. Kenndrix knows how much honesty means to me in a relationship and it’s the one thing that Ace and I have always managed to get right. We have always been honest with one another even when it isn’t pretty. “What do you mean?” Kenndrix asks.

  I untangle myself and sit back on the couch. “Ace was asking how everything went yesterday and I wasn’t completely honest with him.”

  “How so?”

  I sigh heavily. “Well, the music video I told you about.” Kenndrix nods her head for me to go on. “Well, the music video is for Royal Eternity.”

  Kenndrix’s eyes get so large I’m surprised they don’t fall out of the socket. “Royal Eternity as in Enzo as in used to be Ace’s band?”

  I nod, “That’s the one. I didn’t tell Ace it was for Royal Eternity. Hell! When he asked if he knew the band I lied and said no. I even told him that I didn’t think I’d get the job which was another lie because I’m pretty sure I got the job the minute I showed up at the casting call.”

  “What happened at the casting call?”

  As I think back to the casting call, I get lost in the moment.

  Well, when I walked in all I saw was a bunch of bleach blonde girls with eyelashes that looked like spider legs and breasts that were way too big for their bodies. Don’t get me wrong I have breast implants, but I just have them to make my body look more proportion. Anyways, I was literally the only brunette in the room. I didn’t think I had a chance in hell of getting the video but when they called my name to go back I stood up, plastered on that my smile and strutted my way into the room. I was going to give it all I had regardless if my chances were basically nonexistent.

  I was half way to the table that the band, video director and other record executives were sitting at when Enzo’s head whipped around and his eyes locked on me. I faltered for a minute. Enzo stood up from the table and leaned over. “I knew it! I knew if we could get a hold of your agent that you’d show up.”

  “You got a hold of my agent?” I asked.

  He nodded while rubbing his hands together in excitement “Well, yeah we requested you.”

  The director spoke up, “No, you requested her. You’re just lucky she showed up.”

  Enzo shook his head but I asked, “How did you know who my agent was?”

  “I didn’t! I had to call my friend Rocky who is actually still dating Pierce but all either of them could remember was that your agent had a strange last name. I called everyone I could and finally I found Mr. Sobolak,” Enzo explained.

  I was completely frozen. This was bad, no this was worse than bad, so much worse. Enzo had requested me. If I got the job (which I was pretty sure I would) I couldn’t turn it down without upsetting Mr. Sobolak, but if I took the job then I was creating an issue with Ace and I that I didn’t want. Not to mention that if I took the job I could be giving Enzo some kind of false hope or leading him on and I didn’t want to do that. He had been my friend and I didn’t want to hurt him. I started to feel a little light headed from all the stress of the matter.

  Enzo approached me while talking to the director. “Turn on the song and let’s explain to Kynlee what her role will be and what needs to be done.” The song started up and it was definitely a rock song but with a seductive edge to it. I can picture Ace and I dancing to it. Enzo’s voice was hypnotic with the music. As he approached me he explained that there would be a lot of interaction between him and me in the video. Actually, most of the video was about us because the song was about a couple.

  We’d have to act as if we were on dates and what not. There would be a bed scene where I would probably need to be topless. Enzo looked overly excited and I started to shake my head, “Enzo I can’t do this video with you.”

  “Why not?” he asks, looking confused.

  I knew the confusion had to be an act because I knew he knew damn well why I couldn’t. “You know why Enzo so don’t play dumb. I’m with Ace and there’s no way he’s going to be okay with this.”

  “Well, I don’t see the issue it’s just a job. You’re getting paid to act like my girlfriend for forty-eight hours while a camera is rolling. We’ll hold hands, kiss and roll around in some sheets, not a big deal,” he explains.

  I shook my head at how absurd he was being. “Not a big deal? You know that’s not true. To Ace it would be a huge deal.”

  Enzo shrugs. “Maybe, but he’ll get over it. The way I see it this is a huge deal for you Kynlee. For your career! Royal Eternity is on fire right now so whoever we cast with me in the video is going to get a lot of recognition and it will probably lead to a lot more work for you.”

  I was so torn inside. I had been dreaming and praying for a break like this, but I couldn’t do that to Ace. I loved Ace with everything I had and we had worked so hard to get to this spot. We were in such a good spot right now, we were finally on solid ground and I could see our future. I couldn’t kiss Enzo on camera for everyone to see. Ace wouldn’t be against the kiss as much as the guy I would be kissing. Ace understood that stuff like this came with the territory but kissing Enzo would make things difficult. Ace and Enzo had some kind of weird testosterone filled tug of war going on. I couldn’t do this job. “Enzo I can’t kiss you.”

  Enzo cocked his eyebrows up and a smirk came across his face. “You can’t kiss me?” I shake my head but before I can even register what
is happening Enzo grabs my face between his hands and brings his lips down on mine. The problem isn’t that he kissed me the problem is that for a moment I kissed him back. When I finally got my head back on straight I pushed him back.

  “I don’t want this job Enzo,” was the last thing I said as I walked out the door.

  Kenndrix just sits there unmoving, “Oh my, what are you going to do?”

  I shrug feeling so lost. “What can I do? I can’t take the job and kiss Enzo. It’d be relationship suicide.”

  Her hand closes around mine, “But if you don’t take the job it could be career suicide.”

  ****

  Ace

  Something was off with Kynlee. When she had woken me up this morning I had noticed that her eyes were puffy, something that only happened when she had been crying. That was another reason I hated her career choice. If she didn’t get the jobs she went after she ended up feeling deflated and depressed for days. It chipped away at her already unsteady confidence.

  As I wait for Jovi to come out to the car, I think maybe I can surprise Kynlee with a date night tomorrow. I would plan something for tonight but tonight were the races or, Pedal to the Metal, as we called them and I knew financially that we couldn’t really afford to miss a race. Not to mention a lot of the crowd came just to watch me or my brother’s race, even though the racing had been left to Bowie and me lately. Axell had taken a step back to please Sadie, his fiancé. However, with Jagger returning there might be another James brother racing soon enough.

  I have been trying to contain how excited I am to get Jagger back. He had been the only brother I had been close to growing up. Bowie had taken his spot once he left L.A. but I had still always turned to Jagger when something important came up. He could settle me down and put me in the right frame of mind through a text or phone call quicker than Bowie could in person. Jagger and I just understood each on a different level. Jagger losing his fiancé and unborn child five years ago left a mark on him like losing our mother had on me. Luckily, I had found Kynlee who had pulled me out of a really dark spot. I hoped that Jagger could be that lucky in the future.