Breaking the Limits

by Nichole, Stephanie

  She steps forward and extends her hand to me. “Yes, I’m Holly Sullivan. I’m here about the space for rent.”

  There it is. Holly Sullivan used to be Hollis Foust. Bowie’s Hollis. She may have changed her blonde hair for a deep burgundy red with platinum streaks framing her face, but this is without a doubt Hollis. She gives me a quizzical look and I realize I’ve been studying her too long. I clear my throat. “Oh great, this way Holly,” I tell her, as I motion down the hallway. “Second door on the left.”

  I follow behind her. She takes in the room. “This place is great,” she tells me, then goes on to explain all of her experience and what not but to be honest I don’t hear most of it. I’m too busy trying to wrap my head around her being here. Once she stops talking I realize I need to reply.

  “I’d love to give you the spot Hollis but I’m trying to figure out how I’m supposed to explain this to Bowie,” I tell her, and I watch as her gray eyes go wide with shock.

  “Ace?” she whispers, as if she’s putting it together, trying to build the nine-year-old boy I had been the last time she saw me into the guy standing in front of her now. She places a hand over her heart and I notice the tremble in it. “Ace James?”

  I nod my head and hold my arms out to sides. “The one and only.”

  She shakes her head in disbelief. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know, they just told me to meet with Ace. Brody never gave me your last name and I never asked. If I had known I wouldn’t have come,” she says, and mumbles an apology again and walks past me.

  For some reason something about Hollis seems even more broken than the last time I saw her and something about that pulls at my heart. Damn it! I curse myself mentally as I make my way back into the hallway. I enter the lobby just as she’s about to leave out the door. “Hollis, wait!” She turns around and I can see the sadness in her eyes. “The spot is yours if you want it.”

  “What…What about Bowie?” she asks.

  I run a hand over my face. “I’ll deal with him.”

  ****

  Kynlee

  I pull into the driveway and cut off the Jeep. Resting my head against the headrest of my seat while I try to ward off the dull ache that started in my head a few hours ago. I take the first deep breath since I started my day. Between school and work I’m exhausted. I want nothing more than a hot shower and sink into my bed to sleep for hours. I smell the aromas of food before I even hit the door. Kenndrix is cooking. Okay, so maybe I’ll eat, shower then hit the bed.

  I open the door and I can hear Kenndrix singing along to some pop song playing over the radio. When I enter the kitchen, she’s dancing around while cooking and I can’t help but laugh. Jaxx had gotten a job as stunt driver but it required him to travel a lot which left Kenndrix alone most of the time. When Ace and I decided to take a step back for a while to figure our heads and hearts out, they both insisted I move in here.

  Honestly, I didn’t think I’d be here this long but here I am. I’m beginning to wonder if Ace and I will ever get figured out. Every free moment I have is consumed with missing him or memories of him or wondering about him. I curse myself mentally because I have no one else to blame for this but myself…and maybe Enzo. “Someone’s lost in her mind over there,” I hear Kenndrix say.

  I give her the best smile I can muster but let’s face it, I’m exhausted and now back to missing Ace so we both know the smile is fake. “Just thinking.”

  Kenndrix shakes her head. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately,” I shrug in response. “Well, I’m here if you need me, otherwise dinner will be ready in ten. Oh! And you have mail on the table over there.”

  “Thanks, I’m going to shower really quick.”

  While we eat I listen to Kenndrix tell me about her day and where Jaxx is now. She relays all the notable mentions that Jaxx told her about from Canada. She laughs, I laugh, she asks a question and I answer but my heart just isn’t in it and we both know it. Kenndrix can read me better than anyone. “Just call him Kyn.”

  I shake my head and distract myself with a pea I’m chasing on the plate. “No, he asked for time and space and I’m going to give him that.”

  “I’m sure he’s missing you too.”

  “Maybe,” I say with a shrug then sigh heavily. “But I caused this Kenndrix. Enzo and I caused this. Those pictures of us kissing…you didn’t see the look of hurt and betrayal in Ace’s eyes and to know I put that there…kills me. I’ll give him all the time he needs, at this point it’s the least I can do.”

  Kenndrix worries her bottom lip while deep in thought. “You want to watch a movie?”

  “No, I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to call it a night. Thanks for cooking tonight,” I tell her as I hug her quickly, grabbing the mail and closing up in my room. Crawling under the covers I rummage through the mail before noticing the rather large envelope on the bottom. When I open it, I can’t help but let the scream of delight escape me.

  Kenndrix is in my room within in no time. “What’s wrong?” she says, her head whipping around, bat in hand, ready to take on the world.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” I tell her through my blurred vision, happy tears swimming in my eyes. “Remember the night I called you about becoming a teacher?” Kenndrix nods her head. “Well, I saw an advertisement for a new reality competition show staring up, Inked Up. They were advertising for tattoo artists and I don’t know why but I thought Ace would be perfect for it. Then I thought if he got a spot it would make the perfect birthday gift and he got it.” A few tears spill over “He got it,” I whisper to myself.

  “His birthday is next week, right?” I just nod. “Well, now you have to call him,” Kenndrix says, as she climbs into the bed with me to look at the letter. “Or better yet go see him!”

  “Kenndrix, I can’t go see him. What would I do? Show up at his doorstep and be like, hey long time no see, so sorry for the whole Enzo thing but I entered you for a reality competition show and you got a spot. So, what else is new?” I say sarcastically.

  Kenndrix laughs, “Well, maybe don’t say it exactly like that and maybe not on his doorstep but Inkredible is neutral ground, no reason you can’t go there and give him this.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I murmur as Kenndrix heads back out of my room. This is a bittersweet moment. I’m so proud and happy for Ace but coming face to face with him again after how we left things…well I’m not sure what his reaction to me will be. As I get comfortable in my bed I think back to the second worst day of my life.

  Chapter 31

  Ace

  I must have been beyond tired by the time I crawled into bed last night. I had slept straight through the night only the buzzing of my alarm waking me up. Kynlee’s scent engulfs me as I try to shake the sleepy haze away from me. I peek an eye open and see that I have my face buried into her pillow or at least what use to be her pillow. It’s been three months and her scent is slowly starting to fade. I don’t know what to do once it’s gone.

  I sit up in the middle of the bed and scrub my hands over my face. Mentally cursing myself, what the hell is wrong with me? I should just call her but I can’t. If I call her then I’ll never know if she’s coming back on her own or because of me. No, she needs to be the one to make the first move. After giving myself a pep talk I decide to get ready for the day. I have to get Hollis settled in at the shop and I have back to back appointments for tattoos and I still need to talk to Bowie about Hollis being back and working in my shop. It’s going to be a hell of a day.

  Shortly, after I enter the shop Hollis appears in the doorway. I look up and see the uncertainty in her face. “Good morning,” I tell her. She just nods her head. “Follow me,” I tell her, as we head down the hallway to her room. We haven’t made it too far when I hear the door music go off up front. I turn to Hollis. “Go ahead and put your stuff down in the room I showed you the other day. I’ll be back in a few.”

  When I step out of the hallway I feel like I’ve been pu
nched straight in the gut. All the air in my lungs leaves out in one gush, my head spins in a million different directions and my eyes won’t blink afraid that she’ll disappear if I do. Kynlee. She’s here, in my shop, standing there with the sunlight coming through the glass creating a golden halo around her. My angel amongst all my darkness. “Kynlee?”

  She turns around and it’s hard to believe, but she’s even more beautiful now than she was before. Her long dark hair is up in a messy ponytail, her skin still has a hint of tan and her sunshades are pushed up to the top of her head so that her intense brown eyes are exposed. A shy smile graces her face. Her red, lacey tank top shows a small sliver of skin between its hem and her jeans and the memory of how soft her skin was filling my head for a moment. I shake my head to clear it. “Hey Ace,” she says quietly. I take a tentative step toward her. A part of me wants to close the distance between us, pull her into my arms and breathe her in, never let her go, tell her all the things I wanted before that damn magazine cover. But the other part wants me to hold my ground, not to show my desperation for her, not to pull her in any direction, let her make the move so I know it’s the right thing. “You look good and I’ve been hearing a lot of good buzz around the area about the shop.”

  I clear my throat. “Yeah, I added Bowie’s friend Roscoe along with Brody and me. Got another new one starting today.” I look away trying to slow the slamming of my heart. “You look great as always,” I tell her, and watch as the slow blush creeps up her cheeks. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth.

  She shakes her head. “I’m trying to tone it down a bit. It’s taking some getting used to.” I want to tell her she’s perfect. I want to tell her she’s even more beautiful now toned down than before but I bite my tongue. Kynlee clears her throat and reaches into her purse and pulls out an envelope. She closes the distance and holds it out to me. “Your birthday is close enough and this was the present I was hoping would come through a few months ago and it did,” she takes a deep breath as I open the envelope and pull the papers from inside out. At first, I don’t know what to think then it all starts to fall together. My head whips up to see her brown eyes focused on me. “I don’t want you to be mad, but when I saw the open submissions I had to enter you. You are your own worst critic and I knew you wouldn’t do it if I just told you about it so I did it. I just got that last night. You got a spot, Ace. A well-deserved spot.”

  My mind is still reeling from the thought that I actually got a spot on the new reality competition TV show because of Kynlee. “How? When?”

  Kynlee takes a deep breath. “I saw the advertisement for open submissions the same night you got home from the hospital while I was looking at colleges. I just did it because I know your work is great if not better than what they were showing.”

  I take a step toward her, she’s so close now I can smell that familiar scent that leaves an ache in the middle of my chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She shrugs and darts her eyes off to the side. “You know I wanted it to be a surprise and then everything fell apart so quickly, the magazine and what not, I didn’t really have time.” A shuddered breath escapes her mouth. “Congratulations and good luck. I’ll be rooting for you.” She tip-toes and places a feather light kiss to my cheek. “Happy birthday,” she whispers, before turning and heading for the door.

  There are so many emotions coursing through my body right now. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Then it hits me, seeing Kynlee again, this new opportunity, I don’t care that I’m supposed to stand my ground. I can’t let Kynlee leave like this, I have to tell her how I feel, I need to. “Kynlee?” My voice comes out sounding weaker than normal. She stops with her hand on the door and looks over her shoulder at me. I take a step toward her, the words on my lips when I hear Hollis say “Hey Ace, can you…” her voice dies off. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize that there was still someone here.”

  I see a flash of hurt in Kynlee’s eyes before it turns to jealousy, she sneers. “I’m not here.” Kynlee pushes the door open with more force than necessary. I chuckle slightly because I can’t help but think ‘That’s my girl’.

  I turn around and toss the envelope to Hollis “I’ll be right back.” I jog out the door. “Kynlee!” I holler to her, but she keeps walking. I watch as she yanks the door open on her Jeep. “Kynlee!” But she still doesn’t turn around. Once I’m close enough I grab her arm and spin her around to face me. The moisture pooling in her eyes has me pulling her into my chest.

  Kynlee quickly swipes her hands under her eyes then she stands there for a moment, her tiny hands fisted into my shirt then she shoves me back, unexpectedly. “Don’t pity me Ace. You obviously have other needs to tend to and I’m not one of them anymore.”

  “Damn it Kyn!” I mutter under my breath.

  Kynlee holds up her hands to stop me from talking then shakes her head. “I was a fool, I was a damn fool to think that you would be missing me. The elusive Ace James, the one that all the girls want. Of course, it didn’t take you any time to find my replacement but let me tell you something. She may be beautiful, but she’s not right for you Ace. Is she going to hold you together when you wake up from your haunted nightmares? Is she going wait around for you to get your shit together? Is she going to love every damn part of you? Let me answer that for you. No! She’s not, that’s me Ace so you can find any girl you want but none of them will be me and none of them will love you the way I love you.” I watch as embarrassment from what she just admitted fills her face then she quickly turns toward her Jeep and quickly says, “See you at the wedding.”

  I can’t find the words to stop her. My throat is clogged, how she can think that I would even try to replace her, as if that were possible. She has ruined me for every other woman. I only see her. See me at the wedding, your damn right you’ll see me at the wedding, me and my heart are about to lay it all on the line.

  Chapter 32

  Kynlee

  It’s been five days since I saw Ace and I wish I could say that in those five days I had found a way to deal with the pain aside from crying; but I haven’t. I feel broken and the image of that girl haunts me every time I close my eyes. I keep thinking about the what ifs, what if I had just called him all those times Kenndrix encouraged me too? What if I had fought harder the day he found the magazine? What if this? What if that? But no matter how many what ifs I come up with I will never know because I didn’t do any of those things. I didn’t call him, I didn’t fight for him, I did nothing and now…now I’ve lost him.

  Today is Londynn and Jagger’s wedding and I promised myself I’d make this day all about them, but the only problem is I don’t know how to stop throwing myself a pity party. Well, that’s not the only problem, in an hour I have to see Ace and I’m terrified that seeing him in the flesh again will be my undoing. Londynn had asked Kenndrix, Sadie, myself, and Creed, yes, Creed, to be her bridesmaids. I guess Creed made sense as a bridesmaid, I mean he is her best friend. Farrah was her maid of honor. Thankfully, I didn’t have to walk down the aisle with Ace since Londynn had made a last-minute decision to just have the girls walk down the aisle by ourselves. I think that decision was mostly because of me.

  Duke, Londynn’s brother who was also walking her down the aisle had been keeping us all entertained in the back of the small church. He had also been trying to cheer me up with compliments and used to me would have loved that but now they just feel empty. I miss Ace’s compliments. I take a deep breath to try and calm my raging emotions. Then a thought hits me, one that hadn’t occurred to me until just now, what if he brought her with him? What if I have to stand up front and see her in the small crowd of people? Can I hold myself together through that? Kenndrix reaches over and takes my hand.

  Before I’m ready we are all being ushered into a line and walking down the aisle. As I make my way down I feel his eyes on me. My body reacts on its own accord. Heat fills me, my heart beats erratically and my head swims for a m
inute. When I look his direction, I see his blue eyes locked on me. The look hidden in the depths of those eyes nearly knocks me to my knees. I don’t even know where to begin to decipher that look.

  Throughout the ceremony I can see Ace, standing right next to Jagger as his best man followed by Bowie, Jovi, Axell and Connor. While I’m standing there, I can’t help but admire Ace. He has a lot more muscle to his build than a few months ago, His black dress shirt and slacks only make his hair seem darker which is a stark contrast to his baby blue eyes. He took out his lip ring for the ceremony but you can still see a peek of his tattoos trying to escape the collar of his shirt. My heart aches for him. Seeing him all dressed up like this, only rips at another piece of my heart.

  However, somewhere in the middle of hearing Jagger confess his love for Londynn in front of his family and friends I have an epiphany. That epiphany makes me feel like all the air has been pulled out of the small church and my head spins like I might pass out. I can love Ace all I want but I want more. I need more than he’s willing to give me. I missed Londynn’s vows because I’m so lost in my own head. It isn’t until Kenndrix nudges me that I realize the ceremony is ending. We watch as Londynn and Jagger make their way out of the church. I should be heading out now with Kenndrix and Jaxx to the reception but I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

  ****

  Ace

  Seeing Kynlee coming down the aisle in that pale pink dress…well it was breathtaking, but I kept picturing her coming down it in a white dress. The day that Kynlee left Inkredible I had called Jagger and he had helped me come up with a plan. Something I could do for Kynlee at the reception, but it could still be private. Jagger had been right, our relationship was different and I think it was because he was the first one that found me in that hallway, lost and alone. He was the one who had sat with me for hours in the cemetery after mom’s funeral. He was the one who always crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night when I woke up screaming and sweaty from a nightmare. Jagger was someone who had tried to piece me back together and that meant more than I could say.