The Devil Between Us

by S. C. Wilson

  “I can understand that. They can be a burden.”

  “What do you mean?” Abby felt a surge of heat go to her cheeks. Maybe Jesse isn’t the kind of man I thought he was. I should have known he was like the rest of them.

  Jesse noticed the stern expression on Abby’s face. “I think that came out wrong. I shouldn’t have said burden…it’s just hard enough to support one’s self, and having to support someone else and children too, well I couldn’t imagine that responsibility. And then there are people like me. My life can be hostile at times. It’s not fair to subject a wife and child to it. But if you’re going to make a baby with someone, then I think you should be a man—take care of your responsibilities.”

  Abby felt her tension ease, but wanted to know what kind of person Jesse truly was. She asked, “So, if you were the one who got Mabel in trouble you wouldn’t have abandoned her?”

  The question struck Jesse funny, and she laughed out loud.

  “I don’t see why that’s funny. To get a woman with child and then leave her—”

  “That’s not why I’m laughing. I’m sorry. It’s just…well trust me when I say I will never get a woman with child.”

  “How can you be so certain of such things?”

  “Abby, I may not know a lot of things but that is one thing I am sure of.”

  “But what if you did?”

  Jesse cleared her throat and played along. “All right, if I did, I would be by her side through thick and thin. No matter what. We’d go through it together and raise one amazing child.”

  The words were like music to Abby’s ears. He is a good man. A warmth spread through her body.

  “What did Mabel do?” asked Jesse.

  “She got introduced to this man. Said he could take care of her problem for her. He’d done it before.”

  “Done what before?”

  “You know. Abortion.”

  “Oh, right,” Jesse said. She had never heard that word before, but she continued listening in silence. Her facial expression gave away nothing.

  “He hurt her really bad. The doctor says she might not be able to have children. You think you lead a hard life? Well, imagine how hard it is for a single woman with a child. Being all alone. What choice did she have? She can barely afford to take care of herself. There really is no place for a baby in a lifestyle like hers. Not saying I would have done the same thing, but Mabel’s life is a lot different than mine. She has always dreamed she’d meet a man, fall in love, and start a family. I keep telling her that someday she’ll find the right one. She is my oldest and dearest friend, and my heart just breaks for her.”

  What Mabel did troubled Jesse, but she recalled what Frieda had told her about how hard it was for a single woman to survive. Besides getting married, women didn’t have too many options to support themselves.

  “She’s lucky to have a friend like you. I’m sure someday she’ll find happiness,” Jesse said, stretching out on the blanket. She wanted to change the subject. “Thanks for the food. It was great. Tell me about your travels. Did you get to sing a lot?”

  “You’re welcome. I did get to sing, but I stayed at The Foxtail and took care of Mabel. She was alone and in pain. Not to mention, she had a broken heart. I couldn’t leave her. I always knew Earl was no good, but she just didn’t want to hear it. She loved him, and that’s all there was to it. The heart wants what it wants.”

  Abby pushed on, enjoying the intimacy. “I can understand that. When I would go out on stage I couldn’t help but look around the room hoping to see you sitting there. I knew it was silly because I knew you wouldn’t be. Still, I looked every time, just the same. I knew the night I met you that you were different somehow. There is just something about you. You can’t tell me you don’t feel something for me, because I see it when you look at me.”

  An uncomfortable silence hung between them before Jesse responded. “It has nothing to do with how I feel about you. You’re amazing and any man would be lucky to have you. I just know nothing can ever happen between us. Look, my life is hard and the places I go are no place for a woman like you.” The words came out more harshly than Jesse had intended. She felt bad for being so curt. The last thing Jesse wanted was to upset Abby.

  Abby didn’t appear to be upset. Surprisingly, she looked amused. “Listen up, Jesse McGinnis. I’m not asking you to give up your life and settle down. I just want to spend time with you when you’re in town. What’s wrong with that?”

  Jesse nodded. “I get what you’re saying and I have no problem spending time together. I just want you to know nothing can ever happen between us. Abby, you have to trust me when I say I know I’m not the one for you.”

  Abby was not a conceited person, but she was puzzled by the comment. She had put up with advances by all types of men over the years and now, when she was finally interested in one of them, she was being rejected. This only added to the attraction.

  “No, you don’t know that.” Abby had grown weary of men explaining what she did and didn’t need in her life.

  “My life is complicated and I wouldn’t subject anyone else to it,” Jesse said. “You deserve a full, happy life with a loving husband and children. But I do want us to be friends.”

  Abby sighed and shook her head. She was getting frustrated and a little annoyed. She was a strong, independent woman with a mind of her own. She knew exactly what she wanted. What she wanted more than anything at that moment, despite her frustration, was to kiss Jesse. She had spent a year daydreaming about their reunion and how wonderful it would be. Her yearning, and lack of control over the nature of their relationship only fueled her. She wanted even more.

  I wonder what his lips taste like. Are they as soft as they look? Abby couldn’t restrain herself. She moistened her lips with her tongue, leaned over, and pressed her mouth against Jesse’s.

  Jesse’s world tilted the moment Abby’s lips touched her own. She placed her hand on the back of Abby’s neck and returned the kiss.

  Abby wanted nothing more than to give in and let the passion escalate unchecked. She moaned, hoping Jesse would make love to her right there under the large oak. Pressing her body firmly against Jesse’s, she took Jesse’s lower lip into her mouth and gently bit down, causing the grip around the back of her neck to tighten. Abby lowered her hand onto Jesse’s thigh. The toned muscles beneath her fingertips motivated her more. Her hand wandered higher, making its way up until the provocative sensation brought Jesse to her senses.

  Breaking the contact, Jesse said, breathlessly, “I’m really sorry Abs, we just can’t. We really should be heading back now.”

  Abby opened her eyes and slowly pulled away. They shared such an incredible kiss, finally, and yet Jesse wanted to stop. It surprised her. She didn’t know what to think or feel. She was confused and even a little embarrassed, but took consolation that Jesse felt close enough to call her Abs. Only one other person in her life was close enough to call her that—Mabel.

  Abby stood slowly, determined to not let things end on a sour note. “How about we take a quick dip before we go back? It’s hot and that water would feel pretty good.”

  “I’d rather not. But you can if you want,” Jesse muttered.

  “Fine, but if you change your mind, come join me.”

  Abby pulled out her hairpin. She shook her head, allowing her blonde locks to flow free. She turned away from Jesse, slipped out of her clothing, and covered her bosom with her arms.

  Jesse couldn’t help but notice how stunning Abby was as she strolled toward the water. The woman’s skin was flawless.

  Still covering her chest, Abby waded leisurely into the small pool created by years of erosion from the waterfall. Jesse forced herself to look away.

  As Abby swam around, she called out, “Come in. It feels wonderful.”

  Jesse’s face went scarlet red. Abby seemed unaware her breasts broke the surface. “Uh…no thanks.”

  “All right, but if you change your mind, come in. I promise I won�
�t let you drown,” Abby said, grinning, before she dunked her head underwater.

  Jesse forced herself to look away again. She stood and examined her surroundings. Her gaze moved across the landscape and stopped on one particular tree. Her breath caught in her chest and she was struck with a strange feeling of déjà vu. She walked over for a closer look. The base of the tree had a teepee-shaped opening. She put her hand inside. Everything came back to her in a rush. She had been here, years before, on what had been the worst night of her life.

  Jesse couldn’t believe how small the opening was. In her mind it had been enormous. She rubbed her fingers along the inside of the opening, and found a sharp piece of wood. Her other hand went to the scar on her forehead.

  Jesse stood transfixed. Abby’s repeated invitations to join her faded into the background. There was no doubt in her mind this was the tree that had scarred her forehead. It seemed like so long ago. A lifetime, almost.

  Jesse was shocked back to the present by a cold hand on her shoulder. She jumped, like a ten-year-old girl hiding from evil men and being caught.

  “What are you looking at?”

  The voice calmed her. This was no evil man. This was a beautiful woman, white dress clinging to her wet body, the thin fabric hiding nothing.

  “Uh…nothing. I was…uh…just looking for tracks. It’s a habit,” Jesse said, stumbling over her words.

  Jesse was still in shock as Abby took her by the hand and led her back to the blanket. Lying side-by-side and staring at the sky above, Abby pointed out clouds and shared what shape she thought each resembled. Their pinky fingers intertwined. It was a simple and innocent act, but both were aware of the heat it generated.

  “Tell me about Barrel. I’ve never heard of it before. What’s it like there?” asked Abby.

  The overwhelming emotions and terrible guilt at deceiving Abby became too much for Jesse. She felt she had to share at least something true, no matter how small, or else she would burst.

  “I don’t really live in Barrel. I live up there,” she said, her words gushing out. She pointed to Mount Perish.

  Abby was baffled and confused as to why Jesse would lie to her about something like that. No one lived on Mount Perish.

  Jesse said, “Years ago my parents discovered a secret crossing in the Devils Fork.”

  “A secret crossing?”

  “Yes. But you can only cross in the summer, when the water level is low. Still, it’s tricky to cross and if you lose your footing, you can get swept away. You can’t tell anyone, ever. If people found out they would invade the mountain.”

  Abby considered it for a moment. She put her hand on Jesse’s arm and said, “I promise not to tell anyone about your mountain, Jesse. So, were you born up there?”

  “Um-hum,” Jesse said, mumbling. It really wasn’t a lie, she thought. ‘Jesse McGinnis’ really was born on Mount Perish.

  For the rest of the afternoon, Jesse enthralled Abby with her stories. She explained how her parents had built a tiny cabin home atop the mountain. Even though it was simple, the views were unparalleled.

  I would love to see that someday, Abby thought.

  As stunning as it was, though, Jesse told her the winters could be hell on earth. “Those are the worst. So long. There’s nothing to do but think and whittle. Sometimes you think you might go mad.”

  Abby was in awe of Jesse’s life. It took skill to survive such a harsh existence, especially alone. The more she heard, the more she wanted to see it for herself.

  “I can’t even imagine what the views must be like from that height,” Abby said, wistful.

  “It’s absolutely beautiful, but it’s also dangerous. You can die if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

  The sun was getting low. It was time to head back. Reluctantly, they packed up and mounted their horses, neither wanting the day to end. Jesse felt a small reprieve from her guilt, having told Abby one secret. It felt good to get it off her chest. She desperately wanted to tell her more, but decided some things were best left unsaid, for now. She liked being around Abby too much to jeopardize losing that.

  Jesse talked the entire way back to town. The long ride seemed to fly by, even faster than the trip earlier. The two made plans to meet again later at the Tin Plate.

  Jesse arrived first. Anxious, she fretted over her appearance while she waited. She straightened her shirt a few times, and then bent down to brush off the dust she noticed on her pant leg.

  A woman’s shoe walked into view. Attached to it, Abby. Jesse jumped up to pull the chair out for Abby, nearly knocking both of them over in the process. Abby was more beautiful each time Jesse saw her.

  “Thank you. You’re so sweet,” Abby said.

  Jesse listened to Abby’s stories of her summer. Neither of them mentioned Mount Perish. A lull in the dining room would allow people to overhear.

  When Abby spoke of her last stop on the tour at Granite Falls this year, Jesse sat quietly. The town’s name brought back demons, forcing her to face them head-on. It sounded like Granite Falls hadn’t changed much from when she was a girl. The Rowdy Rabbit Saloon was still the busiest place in town.

  “I’ve heard of that town,” Jesse said. “You know there was a family slaughtered there years ago?”

  “I’ve heard about that. They never found the youngest girl. No one knows what happened to her. Some say she ran off and died out in the wild, but I think whoever killed those people took that girl. It’s an awful story and I don’t like to think about what that poor child went through.”

  “Well, you should be careful when you go there. Always sounded like a place where you would find nothing but trouble.” Jesse was careful to keep the tremble out of her voice.

  “I’m always safe. Don’t worry about me,” Abby said, smiling.

  “All right, enough about that. I want to hear more about you.” Jesse desperately wanted to change the subject.

  Abby had no shortage of stories. She recalled the events of the last year all through the meal. The pair had a wonderful evening sharing stories. Some were exciting; some were funny. It had been years since Jesse had so much fun. She couldn’t have enjoyed herself more.

  As usual, when they were together, time went by quickly. They were both shocked when they noticed it was nearing closing time.

  Abby said, “You want to go to The Foxtail? I’ll buy you a drink.”

  “I’d love to, but I need to get some sleep. I’ve got a long trip ahead of me.”

  “Can I come by in the morning and see you off?”

  “I’d like that,” Jesse said. “How ‘bout we meet here in the morning?”

  “That would be lovely.”

  Jesse escorted Abby to the saloon, and then returned to the hotel. She fell onto the bed. As tired as she was, she couldn’t stop thinking. Thoughts swirled through her mind. She tried to make some sense of everything that had happened. She could still feel Abby’s soft lips against her own; see her smooth skin gliding across the sparkling water. It made her feel funny inside. The feeling was new to her. She didn’t understand this kind of attraction, especially for another woman.

  They barely knew each other, but Abby was already taking a place in Jesse’s heart. She fell asleep comforted she had let the woman in on one part of her life.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Accustomed to rising early, Jesse usually relished the hush of the predawn world around her. Now, a feeling grew in the pit of her stomach, gnawing at her like a hunger pain as she paced the darken room.

  It had only been a few hours since she had last seen Abby. It felt more like days. Jesse was grateful when the first faint bands of sunlight crept across the floor. Unable to wait any longer, she grabbed her hat and made her way over to the Tin Plate. She didn’t care how early she was.

  Jesse was on her second cup of coffee by the time Abby arrived. She could tell Abby was as disappointed as she was about their time together coming to an end. More food was pushed around their plates than was eaten. />
  Jesse broke the awkward silence. “Abs, I don’t like this anymore than you do.”

  Abby glanced up from her plate. “I want to see where you live.”

  “You’d really want to go up there?”

  “Yes. But, I can’t go with you now. I have to do this show in a couple weeks. It’s a surprise birthday party for my boss, Boone, and I have to be there. People are coming in from all over to be there for it—but I could go with you next month.” Abby leaned in. “Do you think you could come back and get me?”

  Jesse was caught off guard. She hadn’t thought Abby had any real interest in seeing her rugged lifestyle firsthand. She stammered as she said, “Um…I don’t think…uh…I don’t know if I can.” She wiped her mouth on the napkin and laid it on the table. “I have a lot to get done. Have to be better stocked than I was last winter. That one just about killed us.”

  “I know you do, and I can help. Just think of how much the two of us could get done.” Abby placed her hand on top of Jesse’s. She was sure her idea was one that could not be refuted.

  Jesse saw no way they could stay under the same roof. A one-room cabin provided no privacy. She gave the only answer she could. “I don’t know. I can try to come back. If I do, it won’t be until the next full moon.”

  “You know, I have a birthday coming up and I couldn’t think of a better gift.”

  “When’s your birthday?” Jesse asked.

  “August 31st, and don’t even think about asking how old I’ll be. Let’s just say I’m older than you, and we’ll leave it at that.”

  “I’m older than I look. Might not be as far apart as you think. How old do you think I am anyway?”

  Abby studied Jesse’s boyish complexion before she answered. “I bet you’re eighteen.”

  “See, told you. I’ll be twenty next month,” Jesse said with a grin.

  “When?”

  “July 4th.”

  “Hey, that’s a great day to have a birthday—Independence Day.”

  “To me it’s just another day. Don’t really celebrate it anymore.”