The Devil Between Us

by S. C. Wilson

  “Well, Jesse, maybe someday we’ll be able to celebrate it together.”

  “I’d like that.”

  Edith, who had been preparing to leave and run an errand, paused when she saw Jesse and Abby together outside the hotel. She waited, giving them a moment alone.

  Abby stared up into the most gorgeous green eyes she had ever seen. “Please be safe up there.”

  “I’m always safe. It’s you I’m worried about down here. You be careful, especially when you go to Granite Falls.”

  “Don’t worry about me. I never travel alone. Boone always has one of his men watching over us girls. Especially when we travel. It’s his way of protecting his investment, so I’ll be fine. I just wish I were going with you.” Abby gave Jesse a peck on the cheek. A flush spread across Jesse’s face. The bashful response to an innocent gesture surprised Abby. “Please try and come back next month.”

  “I’ll try.”

  As Abby walked away, Jesse raised a hand, her final wave as heavy as her heart.

  Edith had been watching from inside. It was hard to tell through body language what was going on between them. She knew how Abby felt. It was obvious in the woman’s gestures. Her emotions practically oozed from her pores. Jesse, on the other hand, was a lot harder to read. There was something there. Yet, for whatever reason, it was being held back. She didn’t know the cause of Jesse’s reluctance, but she thought it best not to pry into their affairs anymore. In time, Jesse’s feelings would make themselves known.

  Meeting Jesse in the doorway, Edith said, “Hey Jesse, I’m going to the post to pick up some fabric. Be right back.”

  “Well, shall we?” Jesse said, offering her elbow.

  Edith took hold of her escort, and the two made their way toward the trading post.

  “You making some more shirts or pants to sell?” Jesse asked.

  “Not this time. I got a new pattern and I’m going to make a dress. I ordered the prettiest periwinkle blue fabric!”

  Felix greeted them warmly when they entered the Trading Post. “Hey there, Jesse. Miss Edith. Got your stuff right here.” Felix pointed to a table next to the counter.

  His stoic demeanor surprised Jesse. She knew he had feelings for Edith, yet his mannerisms gave nothing away. Oh, he’s good.

  Jesse loved the fabric the moment she saw it. It was the prettiest material she had ever seen. I bet Jamie would have loved this fabric. She smiled at the thought.

  “It’s perfect,” Edith said. “I’m going to need some linen too.”

  “What’s the linen for?” Jesse asked.

  “I’m going to use it on the collar and cuffs.”

  “A dress that pretty deserves to be trimmed in silk,” Jesse said, immediately regretting her words. She wondered if Edith found her comment strange.

  Edith shook her head. “Silk is too expensive for my budget.”

  “Let me pay for it,” said Jesse. “I have an idea.”

  “Fine. Felix, change that linen to silk.”

  Jesse carried the fabric for Edith. Strolling back to the hotel, Jesse blurted out, “I want you to make me a dress.”

  “What?” Edith raised an eyebrow.

  “I mean, I want to hire you to make a dress for Abby. Her birthday is coming up in August and I thought you could make a dress for her. From me.”

  “Oh, Jesse, that’s a wonderful idea. I’d love to make it.” Edith clasped her hands under her chin.

  “I’d like to leave a note for her, too. Would it be too much to ask for a piece of paper?”

  “I think that would be lovely,” Edith said, hand on Jesse’s shoulder.

  After penning a note, Jesse blew on the ink to help it dry. She folded it neatly and handed it to Edith, who promised to make sure Abby received both items on her birthday.

  Jesse went to her room and packed up her belongings. Her heart seemed to hang lower each time she performed the task, the lonely winter even less enticing. Packed up and ready, she joined Edith in the main room. “I’m all set, Edith. How much do I owe you for the dress?”

  “Tell you what. You just pay Felix for the material, and I’ll make it for free if you promise to bring me more of that special ointment of yours the next time you come.” Edith gave her a wink.

  “Deal. And thanks again for everything.”

  Jesse made quick work of gathering her supplies at the trading post while Felix looked over her pelts. She was getting a later start than she had intended and wanted to be on her way before she wasted any more daylight. Something odd caught her eye on the way back to the counter. Intrigued, she stopped to get a better look. It was all one piece, with buttons up the front and a buttoned flap at the buttocks. The garment was perfect for her particular needs. She purchased two pairs as well as a scythe, in addition to her usual supplies.

  All Jesse could think about on the trip back was Abby. She wants to come up the mountain!

  Jesse still couldn’t believe it. She had worked hard on the homestead over the years and wanted nothing more than to show it to Abby. There were so many questions, though, so many pressing issues to address.

  It would be nice to get to sit on the old porch again and have a real conversation. Is it possible to keep Abby from finding out the truth about me with both of us under the same roof? Going to the bathroom isn’t that big of an issue since there’s an outhouse, but is Abby going to find it strange a man relieves himself in an outhouse and not on a bush? I could use an extra set of hands. What if Abby finds out the truth, though? How will she react? Will she never want to see me again?

  After weighing the pros and cons, she came to a decision by the time she reached the cabin.

  Jesse had plenty to keep her busy. Arms swinging, grass flying and falling all around her, it didn’t take long for her to appreciate the new scythe. In just a short time she cut triple the amount of grass than she would have been able to with a machete. Aside from Buck, it was one of her best purchases to date. While the grass dried, she chopped wood.

  Although she was able to keep her hands busy, she couldn’t stop thinking about Abby. Knowing the full moon was approaching only made matters worse. She knew the best thing to do was to not go down after her. In reality, that’s the only thing she wanted.

  Two days after Jesse’s twentieth birthday, she was tying up hay bundles in the meadow when she felt the hair on the nape of her neck rise. She stood, and slowly turned her head. Towering on its hind legs was the biggest grizzly she had ever seen. It was a good forty yards away, but Jesse was sure it had to be at least eight feet tall and close to fifteen hundred pounds.

  It sniffed the air.

  It smelled a meal.

  Jesse glanced at her rifle she had carelessly left next to the ball of twine about thirty feet away—between her and the bear.

  She knew from experience she could not out run the animal. Jesse stood completely still, hoping the bear wouldn’t see her as a threat and lose interest. Terror froze her blood and her bones. Motionless, she willed the beast to leave.

  The bear dropped to all fours. It swayed back and forth a couple of times, the motion emphasizing the sheer size of the animal. The massive threat swiped the ground with a claw before charging.

  Jesse bolted straight at the formidable beast. The gun was her only hope. Some combination of adrenaline, luck, and the will to live carried her faster than she had ever run in her life. She slid on her knees and scooped the gun up with one hand.

  In one smooth, quick motion, she brought the rifle up, arm on bent knee. She aimed. One chance, she told herself. Frieda had taught her years ago bears have small brains and hard skulls. To kill one, it was best to take a heart-lung shot.

  This was not currently an option. Jesse held the shot for a split second. She waited until its head was lowered in exactly the right position and then fired, aiming a fraction of an inch above its muzzle. The bear hit the ground, the force so great grass and dirt shot out from beneath it. Due to momentum and his enormous size, he slid a good twen
ty feet before finally coming to a stop mere feet from her.

  Jesse collapsed onto the ground. She forced herself to sit for several minutes, focusing on her own breathing until she could no longer feel her pulse thumping in her ears. I can’t believe I made that shot, she thought, her shaky hands slowly releasing their grip on the rifle.

  The animal was formidable even in death. Jesse knelt and picked up its huge paw. It was heavy, and twice the size of her head. She could have been decapitated with one easy swipe.

  As usual she gave thanks to her father and brothers, but also to Frieda, who was now included in her hunting ritual. She took out her large knife and harvested more meat than she could have wished for. There would be no shortage of food this winter. After tanning the hide, she hung the large bearskin on the wall above her bed. The claws she placed in a tin.

  July passed. No matter how busy Jesse kept herself, her frustration intensified. She missed Frieda every day. Although the physical exertion took her mind off of Abby at times, nothing solved her confusion as to why she felt the way she did.

  They were two women. Jesse didn’t know a lot about this sort of thing, but she knew she wasn’t supposed to feel the way she did. She could remember her mother telling her someday she would marry. She never considered it, but knew being with a man was the way it was supposed to be. Yet, when she recalled the feel of Abby’s lips against hers, somehow it felt right. The more she tried to understand her feelings, the more confused she became. When she remembered Abby’s naked body that day in the glade she couldn’t deny, even from herself, she wanted more than anything to reach out and caress the flawless skin. The thought of Abby’s breasts caused her face to burn red hot. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t make the feelings go away.

  Edith gathered the dress and made her way to The Foxtail in search of Abby. She hummed and waved at locals as she passed by. Mabel greeted her in the saloon before she continued up the stairs, wishing more than anything Jesse was here to deliver the gift instead.

  She knocked softly. “It’s Edith, dear. Can I come in?”

  Opening the door wide, Abby asked, “Is he in town?” Before Edith could reply, Abby caught herself. “I’m so sorry. Where are my manners? Please come in.”

  “No, dear,” Edith said, sympathetic to Abby’s longing. “But he wanted me to give you this.”

  Edith placed a hand on Abby’s shoulder as she handed over the dress and the note. “He made me promise that I would give these to you on your special day. Happy birthday.”

  Abby held the dress under her chin. “Oh my, this dress is gorgeous!”

  “Please, you have to try it on. I can’t wait to see how it looks on you, and I want to see if I got the fit right.”

  Abby stepped behind a screen and changed dresses. She could tell by Edith’s expression when she stepped out that the fit was right. “Oh, Edith! It’s perfect! I love it, and it’s the prettiest dress I’ve ever had.” Abby beamed and twirled in place.

  “I have to say the fit is perfect. But I can’t take credit for all of it. Jesse picked out the silk before he left town. And I have to say he was right. Dress wouldn’t have been the same without it.”

  “I wish he were here. I miss him terribly.”

  “I know, dear,” Edith said, “I’m sure he wishes he were here, too. I know he has feelings for you. I can see it in his eyes when he talks about you. If and when he stops by, I will let you know.”

  Edith gave her a hug and then quietly closed the door behind her, leaving the young woman the privacy to read the note.

  Abs,

  Even though I can’t be with you today, please know you are on my mind. Not just today, but every day. I hope you like the dress.

  Happy birthday,

  Jesse

  Abby sat reading the note over and over. She was disappointed Jesse had not come back, and was overcome with emotion after having received such a thoughtful gift. The uncertainty of when or if she would ever see Jesse again was almost more than she could bear.

  That night, miles away, Jesse lay on the bed and stared up at the old loft above her. “Happy birthday, Abs,” she whispered into the darkness. She spoke only to shadows, but hoped the thought reached her nonetheless.

  Time seemed to crawl during the winter. Most days Jesse sat in front of the fire in her loose fitting one-piece garment, attempting to read a book even though her mind was elsewhere. It was hard for her to concentrate. By the middle of January, she was antsy to get back outdoors and get started on some chores.

  One snowy day, Jesse turned three pages before she realized she had no recollection as to what she had read. She gave up and closed the book. She paced, restless. The axe propped up in the corner caught her eye. Why not?

  Her curiosity got the better of her. She walked over to the bed and pulled the straw mattress off the log frame. She stood for a moment, looking at the puncheon log floor. She sat down and started prying up the floorboards with the sharp edge of the axe, trying her best not to damage the old, wood planks. One by one, she removed three floorboards. The dark hole revealed nothing.

  Surely, Frieda wouldn’t lie to me about gold. She started to reach into the shadowy void, but stopped when she felt a prickling in her scalp. She was a brave woman, but not a stupid one. For all she knew, this could have been home to a rattlesnake. She wasn’t about to go through that ordeal again.

  Frieda had been in an altered state of mind before she died. Knowing Frieda, she probably set a trap in there and forgot to tell me. Jesse grabbed a candle off the shelf and lit the wick in the fireplace. Cupping her hand around the flickering flame, she returned to the hole. Slowly, careful not to blow out the fire, she bent down. In the restless glow of light, the area beneath the floor glowed yellow. Her eyes went wide, mouth agape.

  One. Two. Three. Four. Jesse counted until she reached seventeen. They varied in size and shape; the smallest was the size of an acorn and the largest was the size of a squirrel’s head. She picked up the biggest one and bounced it in her hand to get a good feel for the weight.

  If I can get a horse, tack, and a gun with a tiny nugget, I wonder what this thing would buy. She could only imagine. She stared down at all the shimmering metal for several minutes, until melted wax rolled across her fingers, breaking her hypnotic gaze.

  “Ouch,” Jesse said, mumbling under her breath. She blew out the candle, and then blew on her fingers until the sting started to subside. The extinguished candle emitted a wisp of smoke, which hung, lingering in front of her face. Jesse thought of Frieda, and how she could create the perfect smoke ring when she smoked her pipe. When Jesse was younger she would beg Frieda to make them. She loved to stick her arm gingerly through the ring to see how far she could reach her arm through it before the circle lost its shape. Now, Jesse thought it was silly, but at the time it amused her greatly. She remembered Frieda getting excited for her when she finally managed to get a perfect loop all the way up to her shoulder before it ruptured. The memory made her smile.

  “Oh, Frieda, I miss you so much it hurts. You are my hero and I love you more than words can say. I can’t believe you left all of this to me. You could have left this old, damp place and had a comfortable life, but you chose to stay here. You could have probably bought the whole town of Ely if you wanted…maybe even Granite Falls, too. I guess you knew what was best. This place was your home. I can understand that because it’s my home too, and I can’t imagine living anyplace else. I wish you were here right now. Thank you, and I promise to cherish everything you left me. I love you.”

  She decided it was best to leave the gold exactly where it was. No better place to keep it safe, she thought before returning the hunk of gold back to the same place she found it.

  After reattaching the floorboards, Jesse placed the straw mattress back on the bed frame, and took a seat back in front of the fireplace. She rocked back and forth, unconsciously picking off the leftover bits of dried wax from her fingers as her thoughts shifted to Abby and whether
or not they would see each other again. Will she be there when I go back? Will she be mad at me for not coming to get her? Did she like the dress?

  Her boredom and thoughts nearly drove her crazy for the remaining winter months. Jesse was never more appreciative for the first signs of spring.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jesse poured her energy into her work as spring arrived, grateful for a reprieve from the cold and the ability to be outside again. Despite working from dawn to dusk every day, and crawling into bed exhausted each night, she still couldn’t quiet the thoughts plaguing her. The turmoil over her feelings kept her awake at night, leaving her tired and listless most days. She struggled against an invisible adversary, pushing herself to the point where her mind could focus on nothing but the pain of aching muscles. Still, Jesse was powerless to keep all of these thoughts at bay. She relived moments with Abby, often wondering what it would be like if she were to visit the cabin. More than anything, she worried about the deception their relationship was built around.

  Maybe it was because the winter had been mild, or her heart wasn’t into it, but trapping season wasn’t as successful as in years past. Jesse tallied up the harvested pelts, and counted a few less than the usual. Her profits and supplies would be impacted.

  Money wasn’t an issue. There was more gold hidden beneath the floorboards. Nonetheless, she came to the conclusion this year she might not get everything she wanted at the trading post. She would rather do without than have to depend on Frieda’s gold.

  Jesse woke smiling one morning after a beautiful dream. In it, she had spent the night in Ely, dressed in a beautiful gown, silken hair cascading down to her waist. Her smile faded and the dream drifted away like a wisp of smoke in the wind. She sat up in bed, realizing what day it was. Dreading the annual necessity, she skipped her usual cup of coffee. Sluggish, she headed straight to the stream to cut off the latest new growth of hair.