Always been You

by Mia Scott

  Big nudged the blue straps down on her shoulders, letting it fall away from her chest. His eyes stared heatedly at the reflection of her perfect breasts all golden skinned and round and soft, with rock hard peaks in dusky pink. Her pert little ass shimmied and pressed back against his arousal as his name rolled pleadingly off her tongue. "Patience, baby," he murmured softly, nipping at her shoulder, running his knuckles on the underside of her breast before capturing one turgid peak between them, pinching lightly.

  She determined, as she reached up and stroked the side of his face, that he was hell Bent on taking her out for a leisurely Sunday drive. Destination: the brink of madness. Not that she minded. It was just—different than it usually was between them. But it was a good different, she thought. Part of her wondered what brought out this side of him, but then his fingers dipped into the waistband of her panties and all thought dissipated in her brain. He was so close to where she craved him. "Mmm," she hummed, spreading her thighs apart in anticipation.

  "What do you want, Alisha?" he asked knowingly as his finger ghosted over the blue horseshoe on the front. His other hand palmed at her breasts, pulling at her nipples the way he knew she loved. She bowed back, arching her chest into his hand, filling it more fully with soft flesh. "Tell me," he said lowly, grazing his lips behind her ear and along her jaw.

  Her eyes rolled back and she fisted a hand in his hair, holding his mouth steady. "Your hand," she breathed. "Touch me."

  "I am touching you," he grinned, stroking his hand down the valley between her breasts for emphasis. "See?" His other hand moved up over her abdomen, decidedly away from where she wanted him most. (And where he longed to be, and would be soon.) Alisha's eyes snapped open and latched heatedly onto his in the mirror. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. "You're gorgeous," he said flatly, gesturing toward the mirror with his head. "This is what I see every time I look at you."

  "Jake—"

  The breathy way she moaned his given name (for the third time) rapidly frayed the last tether he had on his self-control. "Goddammit!" he swore quietly, turning her in his arms and dipped his head, capturing her lips with his. He wasn't good with words and the ones he'd said so far tonight left him feeling completely stripped bare. The only thing he knew how to do was this, and even now it threw everything off kilter because it was so fucking different than it had ever been before. He willed his brain to shut the hell up already. So his arms circled her waist and lifted her off the floor, carrying her over to the bed.

  Alisha's breath caught as laid her gently down on the mattress. She shifted up to her elbows when he pulled back and watched him quickly tug off his shirt and shed his jeans. He stared down at her with such intensity that it made her blood beat; her tongue darted out and slowly wet her lips. God, she needed to be with him.

  Big crawled on to the bed and leaned in to kiss her, felt her hands cradle the sides of his face as her lips grew urgent under his and he lowered her back against the pillows. Supporting his weight on his arms, he looked down at all of that dark hair fanned out over white linen and the wanton look in her eyes. Beautiful, he thought again. "Fuck, I want you," he bit out.

  A flirty smile curved over her lips and she stroked his cheek with her thumb. "So have me," she sighed dreamily.

  It was all the invitation he needed. Smirking, he kissed the underside of her jaw and slid his lips unhurriedly down in a lazy exploration of her body. Pausing to draw a puckered peak into his hot mouth, he swirled and flicked his tongue over it, grinning against her breast when she arched and moaned against him.

  He still wasn't where she was burning for him and it was driving her crazy. "Please," she begged, bucking her hips up desperately.

  His tongue trailed languidly down her stomach, circling her belly button, and he reached his hand between her thighs and cupped mound, finding her panties already soaking wet. "Dammit, Alisha," he choked gruffly, shifting further down on the bed to give her pussy the attention it deserved. Hooking his fingers at the waistband, he yanked them off in a single, fluid movement.

  "Yes—Jake," she whimpered, pushing her hips up as she spread her legs wide for him.

  Big held her thighs apart, brushing his nose over the tiny strip of hair she hadn't completely removed from her body, inhaling the musky, heady scent of her arousal; his cock twitched responsively against the mattress. "You smell amazing," he told her, running the back of his over her silky-smooth bikini line. He parted her wet folds with one finger, then two, before he licked a long, slow line up her sex, ending in a tiny flick against her clit. "And you taste even better," he rasped, letting the taste of her roll over his tongue.

  "Oh, God!" she mewled, bowing off the bed. "More. Please, more." Alisha was well past the point of caring that she was begging as heat coiled tightly in her belly. She rotated her hips in tight, desperate circles against his mouth, keening from the sensation of his exquisite tongue swirling and licking at her slit. "You're so—" she broke off, crying out when he slid two fingers deep inside her body, drawing her clit into his mouth and sucking hard. "Fuck, you're so good at this," she panted, fisting a hand wildly in her hair.

  He pumped the fingers buried inside her and rubbed the swollen nub roughly with his thumb. "That's it, baby," he grunted, glancing up at her face, seeing her eyes scrunched tightly and her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Almost there.

  She writhed without abandon Beneath him as his fingers stroked her cleverly, his tongue lapping wildly at her clit. Her heels dug into the mattress and she reared up against his mouth and fingers. Stars exploded behind her eyes as she cried out and came with a violent shudder.

  Big pushed back and shed his boxers before circling her wrists with his hands and pulling her up until they were kneeling in front of each other. "You're fucking gorgeous, Alisha," he muttered, tangling a hand in that wild mane and dragging her mouth to his, swallowing her whimper.

  Alisha's already muddled brain screamed for oxygen and she tore her mouth away, gasping in a ragged breath. "God," she moaned, dropping her forehead to his shoulder as his hands skimmed along the small of her back before settling firmly on her ass. She felt his cock twitch against her thigh and she reached between their bodies, sheathing him in her hand, stroking him surely. The groan rumbled deeply in his chest and vibrated against her. Smiling against his shoulder, she planted a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses leisurely up his neck while her hand continued to pump him. "Does that feel good?" she purred, pulling his earlobe gently between her teeth. His hands flexed in response, pressing her flush against body.

  "You know it does," he groaned thickly, his breath quickening. He stilled her hand, kissed her deeply. When the kiss broke, he couldn't hold out any longer and moved behind her, wrapping his hands possessively over her hips. She moved to lean forward and plant her hands on the mattress, but he stopped her.

  She looked curiously over her shoulder and he saw the intense haze of lust (and a hint of something else she couldn't identify) in his eyes staring back. He caught her lips again and guided himself into her heat, filling her completely. Oh, yes! Her head lolled back, resting against his shoulder as he began to move inside her. As their hips Rosemary and fell in tandem, he cupped her breasts, pinching her rock-hard nipples between his fingers, driving her up, up, up towards the edge again. God.

  "Look," he bit out the order; cupping her chin in his hand and tipping her head up so she could see the same thing he did. "Look at us," he told her again, his voice softening slightly, casting his eyes towards her dresser and the image reflected in the mirror. Her dark hair was mussed, her full lips parted sensually, and her lids lowered seductively as he took her slowly from behind. Fuck. Beautiful, he thought again and again.

  Her vision snapped into focus as she saw what he saw. The way his muscular arms folded around her body; the way his hand moved with purpose from where it cupped her chin down between her breasts; the way it finally settled between her legs. He spread her wide and her breath caught again as she watc
hed him slip in and out of her body, feeling every movement as she watched it in the mirror. Words failed her for how incredible they looked. "We look—" she began, though the words stopped registering when his fingers curled against her clit. "Oh, God, Jake!"

  He couldn't get enough—his eyes or his body—he simply couldn't get enough of her. The punch of seeing everything he was feeling was a total knockout; kind of like the woman herself. One of her hands reached back and ran over his hair and the other rested on top of the one he had between her thighs, spurring him on as their eyes locked in the mirror. "You're amazing," he grunted, snapping his hips faster, his release quickly approaching.

  The orgasm crashed through her and she went rigid, her mouth round as his name spilled brokenly from her lips.

  Big fought the urge to clench his eyes shut and watched as the pleasure swept through her, seeing the evidence on her face and feeling it as her walls clamped around him like a vise. He gripped her hips tightly and slammed into her a few more times before finally spending himself inside. "Fucking hell, Alisha!" he choked out, his release quaking roughly through his body.

  Easing the grip around her hips, he pressed a kiss to her temple, lingering there for a moment before slipping out of her body. His arm wrapped around her middle and pulled her back with him, flopping against the pillows. She rolled to her side and shifted a pillow Beneath her head. He mirrored her actions and slid closer, resting a hand on her waist. Her brows were furrowed in concentration and he chuckled lowly. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

  Alisha smiled warmly at him, idly fingering the sprinkling of hair on his chest. "I'm trying to find a word that truly describes how great that was—and I'm failing miserably," she giggled softly, moving her fingertips up to ghost along his jaw line.

  Big's lips twitched and he smoothed a hand up her back. "It was pretty good, baby," he downplayed, grinning when she rolled her eyes.

  "That doesn't even scratch the surface and you know it," she chided playfully, lightly nipping at his lips. She lifted her lashes and held his gaze, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she considered the words on the tip of her tongue. "You completely melted me, Jake," she finally whispered, curving her palm gently over the side of his face.

  If he was into stupid, sappy, romantic shit like poetry, he might have said that his heart had just skipped a beat and that he had butterflies in his stomach. But that was a whole new level of gay. He couldn't clearly identify what it was he was feeling for the woman in his arms, all dark tousled hair and warm brown eyes and full lips, smiling softly back at him. Hell, he wasn't sure he was equipped to even do so. He kind of felt the way you always feel once you finally reach the top of that first steep hill on a rollercoaster, you know? Where it takes a few seconds to teeter slowly over the edge before it goes barreling down at insane speeds and you get that anxious, excited feeling and your stomach's in your throat and your heart kind of flops over in your chest.

  It was sort of like that.

  (Only better and scarier.)

  Fuck.

  Smoothing a hand over her hair, letting his fingers get caught, he laid his lips gently over hers and savored as she pressed her warm body closer, tangling her legs in his.

  He could faintly hear the movie that was still playing in the living room and that's when it hit him.

  Shit just got real.

  Chapter 17

  The next morning, Big moved quietly through her apartment while he got ready for work. It was fucking early, and he'd only gotten tiny stretches of sleep in between the times that he and Alisha had turned to each other (again and again) during the night. He had no desire to go in today; all he really wanted to do was crawl back into bed with her.

  It was hard to not want that (especially after the night they had). She looked so inviting, so peaceful, as she slept soundly on her stomach; her hair spilled over the pillow and her naked back was peeking out at the top of the duvet.

  Yeah, he really didn't want to go to work.

  He leaned over her and pressed a kiss to her earlobe. "Lisha," he murmured in her ear, "wake up, baby."

  "Mmm," she stirred slightly.

  Big grinned and kissed her mouth, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I've gotta go," he said lowly.

  She mumbled something incoherently and rolled on to her back. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she smiled softly up at him. "Mmm, stay," she whispered sleepily.

  A smile tugged at his lips, turning the corners up. "Would if I could, Larrington, but I have to go to work."

  "Jobs…boo," she said, her lips turning down into a pout and her eyes falling closed.

  God, his woman was adorable. (Whatever, she wasn't sleeping with anyone else. Ergo his.) "Tell me about it," he chuckled. "Come on and walk me out."

  "Mmm," she hummed, snuggling into the pillow. "There's a spare key hanging by the door. Help yourself."

  "Lisha—"

  "I'm all warm and cozy," she told him, reaching for his hand and toying with his fingers. "Just take it; I trust you." Her eyes blinked open again and she gave him a lopsided smile.

  Big didn't have any other examples or life experience to draw from, but this kind of felt like a big deal. (He mentally scolded himself, because Jesus it was six in the damn morning and it was just a way for her to stay in bed.) "Alright," he smiled back, smoothing her hair behind one ear. "I'll try and call you tonight after your show."

  Her smile grew a little brighter. "Okay." She pushed herself up and grabbed the front of his t-shirt, pulling him down for a kiss. Her lips warmed under his and she sank a little deeper into it. "Have a good day," she said when she finally pulled away from his mouth. "Be safe rescuing those cats. Those trees are really tall," she teased.

  His lips twisted into an amused smirk. "Have fun writhing against the prison bars." (What? It was their little running joke.) Alisha's breathy laugh tickled his neck and she pressed a kiss to his jaw. "Last night was great," he murmured into her ear. She leaned back and angled her head up; he saw her eyes sparkle.

  That funny feeling from the night before was in his chest and stomach again.

  "It was really great," she said quietly, grabbing his face in her hands and brushing her lips against his. "Thank you."

  Big growled softly in the back of his throat. He had to leave now or else he never would. "Bye, Alisha," he grinned, standing up.

  "Bye, Jake," she smiled, snuggling Beneath the covers.

  He turned and walked out of her room, casting one last look at her sleepy form over his shoulder.

  Yep. Definitely real.

  Now if he only knew what to do about that.

  There was an extra bounce in her step that morning as she walked around different stores with Maggie. They were out shopping for the final touches for Maggie's annual holiday party on Wednesday night, and Alisha was having a hard time staying focused. Her thoughts kept straying to Big and their afternoon at the game followed by the special night they had after.

  He'd been so tender and passionate with her. She hated the term making love (hated it!), but last night she felt more—emotionally connected—to him than she ever had before. If she were to ever use that hideous phrase (which she would not), she supposed last night came pretty damn close to that.

  Something had shifted between them and she was fairly certain that they were on the brink of something great…something real…something more. And for the first time in a long, long time, that idea didn't scare her. What did scare her was that he might not be on the same page and she was not ready to spook him by jumping the gun. She knew she needed to take a leap of faith (and she would eventually), but leaps of faith? Rather terrifying.

  "Red or gold?" Maggie asked.

  "I'm sorry?" Alisha asked, the sound of her friend's voice slowly registering in her brain.

  "Where's your head today? You've been so distracted all morning," Maggie stated. Her eyes narrowed, and she studied her friend curiously.

  "I didn't get much sleep," Alisha ans
wered truthfully, biting the inside of her lip to keep from smiling. "What are my choices again?"

  Maggie set the table runners down on the display and placed her hands on her hips. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

  (Yes)

  Pangs of guilt washed through her and she felt like a shitty friend for keeping this secret for so long. She needed to tell her; found that she wanted to tell her and to get her advice. But because she'd kept said secret for almost two months now (and the fact that Big was not Maggie's favorite person), the timing needed to be right. And it was not the type of conversation you have casually in the middle of Crate & Barrel. (Unless you wanted to make a scene of apocalyptic proportions in front of throngs of holiday shoppers)

  "Just thinking about your Christmas present," Alisha lied easily.

  Maggie's eyes lit up and a wide smile spread over her pretty face. "Well, carry on, then," she teased.

  After the holidays, she decided. Alisha would tell her after the holidays. That would give her time to have a real conversation with Jake and they could figure out if they were ready to move beyond the friends with Benefits stage.

  She decided to talk to him after the party at Maggie's. It seemed as good a time as any.

  "I need a new outfit for your party, Fabs," Alisha said. (Telling the man you were sleeping with you wanted more seemed like a new outfit kind of occasion, yes?) "You up for some dress shopping?"

  "Always," Maggie grinned, scooping up the gold table runners. "Let's go."

  The party was already in full swing by the time Alisha arrived as laughter and music greeted her at the door. Maggie launched herself at Alisha the moment she finished hanging her coat up in the closet. "You're here! Finally," the blonde greeted, hugging her tightly.

  "Hi, Fabs," Alisha giggled. "Great party." She looked around the large apartment, smiling at all of the guests she knew. As Maggie hooked her arm through hers and led her towards the kitchen, Alisha locked eyes with Big, who grinned at her before turning back to the conversation he was having with Adam by the balcony doors. He'd find her later, she knew, a stolen moment in a vacant room where they'd kiss and flirt and talk about their plans to meet up at his place later. But for now, he looked so good in that black button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up (and she knew he'd smell intoxicating, too) that all she really wanted to do was slip her fingers between the buttons on his shirt, feel his skin warm Beneath her fingers, and kiss him senseless. As if he could hear her thoughts at precisely that moment, his eyes met hers again and he flashed a knowing smirk over the top of his drink. (God, he was sexy)