Always been You

by Mia Scott

  "Your turn," he teased Alisha with a crooked grin. If he didn't think it would hurt, he'd laugh at the scowl on her face right now.

  "Oh, Ma, you know who that is. It's Jewish Alisha," Sarah said smugly from the doorway.

  Big's eyes snapped to his sister's face and she smiled tartly back. Payback was a bitch. (And so was she) He had to admit this was exceptionally good payback; it was just too fuckin' bad that he was her intended target.

  Alisha swallowed the lump in her throat and turned her head, offering his mother her warmest smile. "Hello, Mrs. Biggerman," she said sweetly, tucking a lock of hair back behind her ear.

  The older woman's eyes grew wide and shifted rapidly between her son and the girl she'd been hoping he'd get involved with. Her face cracked into a beaming smile and clasped her hands together. "Alisha! How lovely to see you, dear. My Jake didn't tell me that you two were seeing one another."

  Big rolled his eyes. His mother was a fucking lunatic. She'd come barreling into the room, seemingly worried about him, and now her attentions were focused on his…(The girl in his life? Dammit. They needed to have a conversation.)…on Alisha, and he could just hear the wheels turning in her crazy head. "Jesus, Ma, did you come all the way here to check on me or to bust my ba—" Three sets of dark, raised eyebrows implored him to not finish his statement. "Chops," he finished lamely. Damn women. Then, appearing like a vision for his salvation, a nurse walked in with a cup he knew contained pills.

  Thank fuck.

  "Your timing could not be better," he told the middle-aged nurse with a grateful smile, holding his hand out expectantly.

  "What are you giving him?" his mother (also a nurse) inquired, folding her arms across her chest.

  "Don't answer Nurse Ratched over there," he bit out. "She'd have me on fucking Motrin even if a shark bit off my arm."

  Rosemary's eyes narrowed dangerously, and, for the first time, Alisha saw a hint of what Big was always going on about. (Scary!) She was growing increasingly uncomfortable by the amount of tension in the room circulating around the Biggermans and now the poor nurse caught in the middle. "I'll be back in a bit, Jake," she said, turning back to smile at him. He frowned in response and she damped down the urge to laugh. "I need to go call my director and get some coffee. You and your mother can talk."

  "I hate you a little," he whispered darkly.

  She did laugh then, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I won't be gone long. Rest…" The 'if you can' was implied. Rising to her feet, she grabbed her bag and turned to Rosemary. "Would you like some coffee?"

  "Oh, yes, that would be lovely, thank you," Rosemary smiled kindly.

  Alisha nodded and headed out the door.

  "I'll just go and help Alisha with the coffee," Sarah said, smiling sweetly to her mother before flicking a sarcastic salute to her brother.

  Big glowered after his sister (she wasn't fooling anyone with her innocent act, least of all him) and tried to drown out the sound of his mother who was now arguing with the nurse about his treatment (What kind of hospital is this? Don't tell me to lower my voice. Jake, tell the nurse I'm not talking too loud.)

  Damn it all. He wanted some peace and quiet and he thought the Ramones summed it up best: I wanna be sedated.

  Fucking A.

  Alisha hung up with her director with the next two days off from the show. (Holly, her understudy, was going to be thrilled) Now she was free to spend time with Jake while he was in the hospital. The thought that he might not even want her to briefly flashed in her mind. But just as quickly as that thought had appeared it was gone again. He told her he wanted her around (last night proved that) and that's where she wanted to be. Around him. Still though, before everything went to hell in a hand basket, she'd wanted to have a conversation with him to figure out where their relationship was headed. Sighing as she dropped her cell back into her bag, she decided to worry about that later.

  He needed to get better (and survive the visit from his mother and sister) first.

  She'd just be around without adding anymore stress to his life.

  "Alisha," a voice called behind her.

  She turned and saw Sarah approaching.

  "Sarah." Alisha gave her a tight-lipped smile.

  Sarah's lips quirked into a wry grin. "You don't like me much, do you?" she asked in an amused, husky voice.

  "I don't even know you, so I would say that it's a little early to pass that kind of judgment. Wouldn't you?" Alisha folded her arms across her body and leaned against the wall. When Sarah's brow arched sky high, she looked so much like her brother that Alisha snorted out a laugh. "The eyebrow arch must be a Biggerman family trait. That and your good looks."

  Sarah smiled brightly from the compliment and pulled Alisha away from the wall. "Let me buy you some coffee. It's the least I can do after fucking things up between you and my brother."

  Alisha opened her mouth to insist that it wasn't necessary, but she really thought Sarah had a point. (And she was Jake's sister) So she flashed a crooked grin and said, "I agree."

  Laughing, Sarah linked her arm through Alisha's. "Your pitiful taste in men aside, Alisha, I think I like you."

  "…and you need to consider a new profession, Jake," his mother said, her hands still firmly planted on her hips. "I mean it."

  She'd been bitching at him for a good five minutes about how badly he scared her and how he could have been killed. He caught every other sentence or so and the only reason he hadn't told her to shut the fuck up already was that the pain meds were finally kicking in and she was marginally less grating than normal.

  "Quit overreacting, woman," Big grumbled. "And sit the hell down already. You're stressing me the fuck out with all this pacing. I'm the one in the damn hospital, you know. Show some sympathy or something for your first born. Christ." Her nostrils flared and her eyes narrowed. Fuck. "Sorry, it's the drugs," he mumbled sheepishly.

  "Between you and Sarah it's a wonder I have any hair left at all," she sniffed, running her fingers through her stylish bob. "As it is now, it's just far grayer than it should be. And these wrinkles," she complained, pushing at her face. "Oy!"

  Big rolled his eyes. His mother had been dying her hair forever and there wasn't one gray hair (or wrinkle) in sight. "Knock it off, Rosemary. I've seen the jaws drop in temple when you walk by, which is fucking disturbing as hell for me since I'm your son but where the hell do you think your kids' good looks came from?" When she pursed her lips to ward off the threatening grin, he winked at her.

  He hadn't expected her eyes to well up with tears. Damn it all. "Ma, I'm sorry I scared you but no tears. Come on. I've had my fill the last few days."

  Rosemary sniffled and blinked back the tears that stung her eyes. "What do you mean few days? You were admitted last night. Please tell me you aren't screwing things up with that wonderful girlfriend of yours."

  "Girlfr—no, Ma," he shook his head. "Alisha's not my girlfriend." But even as the words left his mouth he was 99.9% sure he was lying. (And the truth wasn't nearly as scary as it used to be.) He figured his mother would call him on his shit. (She usually did) What he didn't expect, however, was the insane cackling that burst forth from her lips. (See? Bitch be crazy.) He rolled his eyes at her and she laughed even harder. (Didn't know that was even possible)

  "Oh, Jake," she sighed, shaking her head as her laughter subsided. "My stupid, handsome boy."

  "Hey," he protested.

  "Jake," she said flatly, "you're my son and I love you dearly, but you're an idiot if you think that girl that was kissing you when I walked in this morning is just another notch on your belt."

  His lips turned down and he gave her a withering look.

  She ignored him and pressed on. "How long have you two been sleeping together?"

  Big visibly winced from her candor. He knew she wasn't stupid (and he was an adult thankyouverymuch); and she'd caught him with numerous chicks back in the day when he still lived under her roof, but having this conversation with his mot
her was weirding his shit out.

  "Ma! Jesus Christ. Stop!"

  "Am I offending your delicate sensibilities, Jake?" she inquired, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

  He scowled and thought seriously about telling her just how not delicate his sensibilities were and detailing all of the downright filthy things precious Jewish Alisha let him do to her; but he was pretty sure that they'd never be able to make eye contact again. "Seriously, Rosemary. Quit torturing me. I'm in the fucking hospital in case you'd forgotten."

  "You have a disgustingly foul mouth, Jake," she said sharply. "Okay, fine, how long have you and Alisha been…you and Alisha?"

  The way he saw it, he had exactly two options (neither of which were super appealing). One, he could lie (he was good at it), but she was exceptionally good at detecting his lies (years of experience, that one) and she'd most likely start nagging until he chopped his goddamn ears off for relief. Two, he could be honest with her (novel idea) and maybe (just maybe) ask her advice where Alisha was concerned. "What are the chances you'll just leave me alone about Alisha?" Her arched eyebrow gave him all the answer he needed. "Two months," he mumbled.

  Her jaw dropped, and she stared at him completely perplexed. He was starting to squirm under her gaze and then she laughed again, big and bright. She didn't say anything; she just patted his cheek and stood up, still chuckling as she headed for the door.

  "What the actual fuck, Ma?" he asked sourly. She just shook her head, laughed some more, and walked out the door.

  He threw his hands up in exasperation and groaned.

  Damn yenta.

  Alisha had just slid into the chair across the table from Sarah and lifted the cardboard cup to her lips when Sarah opened her mouth. "The story of you and my brother…Go!"

  Grinning over the top of her cup, she regarded his sister. "What do you want to know?"

  "Ma said you met when he rescued you from your apartment. Is that true? Because that lady is loco sometimes and I figured she was probably embellishing the truth."

  "You two aren't very nice to your mother," Alisha chuckled.

  "Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but really—" she trailed off and made the universal sign for crazy circling her finger around her temple.

  Alisha just shook her head. "I didn't need to be rescued, but yes, I did meet him when my building was on fire and I was stupidly trying to get my neighbor's cat."

  "You ran into a burning building for a fucking cat?" Sarah asked dubiously.

  The similarities between Jake and Sarah kept piling up and Alisha found it highly amusing and just a little scary. Laughing she nodded. "I know. It was beyond stupid. Your brother told me as much; multiple times."

  "I'm sure he was just super charming about it, too," Sarah said dryly, drumming her manicured nails on the table.

  "About as charming as a caveman," Alisha retorted, making Sarah snort into her cup.

  "How long before you two started swimming in the sheets?"

  Alisha choked a little on her coffee. "My, you're certainly direct, aren't you?"

  The youngest Biggerman smirked. "I see no point in being otherwise," she answered. "Besides, you're forgetting that I know how Big operates. His MO is bedding gorgeous women. You know, until now." She saw the frown appear on Alisha's face. "Shit. That's not how that was supposed to come out at all. You're beautiful and frankly could do so much better than my asshole brother."

  Alisha's eyes narrowed. "Forgive me for asking since I don't have siblings, but aren't you supposed to, you know, stick up for each other?"

  Sarah waved her off like it was nothing. "Big and I fight like cats and dogs and have virtually ever since I popped out of Rosemary's womb. But I know he's got my back if I need it and I'll do the same for him. Take yesterday for example. I had no clue about you and just fell back on old habits when you showed up at his door. That's the kind of shit he's had me do in the past. I really am so sorry about that. You should have seen how mad he was. I thought he was going to break some shit."

  "Please stop apologizing, it's okay, Sarah. I came over that morning to apologize to him in the first place. We'd gotten into a huge fight the night before and that was my fault." At Sarah's questioning look, Alisha gave her an abridged version of their "relationship" up to this point.

  You could have knocked Sarah Biggerman over with a feather. She sat, mouth agape, staring at Alisha.

  "What?" Alisha asked cautiously.

  "I—just—I never thought I'd see the day. Big's never had a girl around longer than two weeks before. I joked that he had grown up and gotten himself a girlfriend, but he, like, actually did. There'll be peace in the Middle East next week."

  Alisha's lips quirked into a crooked grin. "We haven't redefined our relationship yet."

  "Girl, you should. I like you and I will kick Big's ass if he screws this up. So will Rosemary. You've been a popular topic of conversation ever since she met you," Sarah teased.

  Warmth flooded her cheeks and she looked down interestedly at the table. "I do want to talk to him about it, but I'm scared." She rubbed the back of her neck to soothe out the tension. "God, he's supposed to be the emotionally stunted one, not me," she chuckled.

  Sarah threw her head back and laughed heartily. "Emotionally stunted! I fucking love it. Yes, he is that."

  "There you two are," Rosemary Biggerman interrupted, taking one of the two empty chairs at their little table.

  "Mama, guess what?" Sarah asked, her laughter subsiding.

  "What, honey?"

  "Alisha and Jake have been together for almost two whole months. Jake. Un-freaking-real."

  Rosemary smiled broadly. "I know. I just finished talking to him."

  Alisha's head snapped up and met his mother's pointed gaze. He'd talked to his mother about her. (Well, she probably grilled him for answers, but still…he gave them.) "I'm going to go back up and talk to him. We're overdue for a conversation."

  "I think that's a great idea," Rosemary chuckled.

  Even as the nerves piled up, a smile broke out over her face. "I'll see you two later," she said with a wave. As she walked away, she heard Rosemary starting in on her daughter. ("Sarah, what in God's name were you thinking coming out here without telling anyone? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?") Giggling, she rounded the corner and headed for the elevators.

  Knocking softly on the door, Alisha entered Big's room and found him laying back with his eyes closed listening to his iPod. Not wanting to disturb him in case he was sleeping, she moved quietly through the room and occupied the uncomfortable chair by his bed. She tried to find a position that was semi-comfortable, but she was too nervous to sit still. This moment, whatever it was, felt big and important, and her mind was going crazy bouncing around the possibilities and everything that had happened in the last few days.

  She'd come so close to losing him, first with the fight over a misunderstanding and then because of the accident. Her throat grew tight, but she shook those feelings away. He was fine. Well, he would be fine after he healed. Sighing, she hugged her knees to her chest and just watched him. Even with all of the cuts and bruises marking his face, he was still so good looking that it made her heart turn over in her chest.

  But it wasn't just his good looks that gave her butterflies. Over these last couple of months (three, if you count before they started sleeping together), he'd just become this incredibly important person in her life. (And was quickly rising in the ranks) Hindsight was truly 20/20, because how she ever thought that they could just be about sex and not have feelings get involved was beyond her.

  She just…liked him. So much.

  Sure, he was crass, and rude, and foul-mouthed and said inappropriate things about 87% of the time, but when no one else was looking, he had the ability to be sweet (he'd hate her for even thinking that, she was absolutely certain). He was stubborn and argumentative (so was she), but he could make her laugh until tears streamed down her face and no more sound came from her mouth. He possess
ed the ability to make her flush from head to toe with a single arch of his eyebrow or a smirk on his incredible lips. And one kiss or touch from him made her forget that anything but him even existed in the universe.

  "I know I'm sexy, but it's rude to stare, ya know," he said impishly, snapping her out of her thoughts.

  Big opened his eyes and shot a wicked grin at her before pulling out his ear buds. She looked fucking adorable with her chin resting on her knees like that.

  Alisha felt the color rush to her cheeks, but she managed a little laugh. "I thought you were sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you."

  "Uh huh, sure. It's okay to admit it, Shorty. I won't judge."

  She rolled her eyes and "I'd ask you how you're feeling, but clearly you're feeling better. How doped up are you?"

  Big smirked. "Not much at all anymore. Those bastards took away my happy button."

  "Aw, poor baby," she teased, stretching out her legs. "How was your visit with your mother?"

  "Jesus Christ," he rolled his eyes. "Typical. But fine I s'pose. You were gone a while."

  "I was in the cafeteria with Sarah," she smiled. "And then your mother joined us."

  "I'm sorry," he grumbled.

  Alisha laughed then, "Don't be. They made me realize something."

  He was sure he wasn't going to like whatever that was. "Fuck, what?" he asked gruffly.

  She stood up from the chair and sat down beside him on the bed. "That it's time we talked about—things."

  It wasn't that he disagreed (he didn't), but now that they were finally here, he found the idea of talking (especially about fucking feelings) a little scary and not a lot badass. But the way her big brown eyes sparkled and warmed as she smiled down at him made his fears shut the fuck up. "Yeah," he nodded, resting his hand on her thigh. "I agree."

  Alisha placed her hand on top of his and toyed with his fingers as she struggled to find the right words. This usually wasn't a problem for her (had never been a problem for her), but now, knowing that they were about to have a very important conversation, she felt like a mute. Big's lips curved into a lazy smile when she cleared her throat and smoothed her free hand over her ponytail. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she laughed nervously. "I normally don't have issues talking."