Always been You

by Mia Scott

  "Believe me, I know," he teased dryly, making the corners of her lips turn down slightly. "I'm sorry," Big said sincerely.

  "For that? Don't be silly. I do talk a lot, Jake—"

  "No," he cut her off. "I'm sorry…for being such a prick to you the other night."

  Her shoulders slumped a little and she cast her eyes down at the worn blanket on the bed. "It's okay," she whispered. "I deserved it."

  His jaw clenched and his brows Adam close together. "No you fucking didn't, Lisha. Don't say that. I'm not sorry for feeling the way I did, but I should've just, you know, talked to you about it instead of getting drunk and being such an asshole. But, yeah, talking about shit instead of reacting is kinda new to me."

  Alisha lifted her eyes to meet his and smiled softly, gripping his hand just a little tighter and brushing her thumb over his knuckles. "I'm so sorry you overheard that conversation with Russell. I didn't mean any of it. In fact, I'd planned on talking to you about our—relationship after the party was over."

  Big quirked a brow, a slight smile on his lips. "Yeah?" When she nodded her response, he grinned. "Me, too."

  "Well, we're quite the pair, aren't we?" she smirked.

  "Hell yeah we are," he winked.

  Alisha snorted out a laugh. "I'm not sure that was meant to be complimentary to either of us given that I've got emotional baggage and you're…" she trailed off, silently scolding herself. Insulting him was so not the tactic she'd wished to employ. God!

  Biting back a smile, he prodded, "I'm what, Lisha?"

  She buried her face in her hands and groaned. She was such an idiot sometimes. "Nothing, forget it."

  "Babe, I know I'm new to this, but aren't we supposed to be honest with each other?"

  "You're emotionally—"

  "Retarded," he finished with a grin. He wasn't offended.

  "Inexperienced," she corrected.

  He shrugged the shoulder on his good side and chuckled. "Whatever, I like mine better." He just looked at her for a minute, looking for the right thing to say and thinking how this wasn't so scary after all. "So, you and me—not just about sex anymore." It wasn't a question.

  Warmth rushed to her cheeks and smiled softly as she shook her head. "Not anymore," she agreed.

  Sure, he'd read the text message (several times—shut the fuck up) but hearing her say it out loud made it real. "When did things change? For you?"

  Alisha caught her bottom lip between her teeth and thought about it. "To be honest, I don't know if there was one specific moment that made me realize. I think I saw signs here and there along the way, but I was so determined to keep feelings out of it; so I ignored them until I just couldn't anymore. Though if I had to pick I'd say the night of the Colts game really confirmed it for me." She expelled a relieved breath and felt that annoying monkey vacate its residence from her back. "What about you?"

  "Colts game. Hit me like a fucking semi. Pretty sure I even quoted Bad Boys II in there somewhere." As confusion danced across her face he squeezed her thigh and grinned. "Shit just got real."

  Her head drooped and her shoulders shook as laughter consumed her. "I have so much fun with you, Jake." His answer was his signature smirk and it made her heart skip. "And I'm so in like with you it's just… ridiculous."

  Big tried to fight the enormous grin on his face, but it was pointless. Hearing her say that was pretty much the best thing ever (well, you know, besides being naked with her—nothing topped that, and fuck you for suggesting otherwise). "Well, that's good, Shorty, because I like you like you."

  She laughed again. "Well, we've officially gone into grade school territory with this conversation."

  "Who cares?" he chuckled. "So?"

  "So?" Alisha repeated softly, a playful gleam in her eyes.

  He cocked his head to the side, regarded her. "What happens now, Alisha?" he asked, squeezing the spot on her thigh that always made her squeal. "You wanna, like, be my lady friend or what?"

  "Your lady friend?" Alisha asked with a snort. "And you'll be my gentleman caller? I'm not a hooker, Jake," she laughed.

  "Fuck, Lisha, cut me some slack here. Goddamn!"

  He was practically pouting and it was beyond adorable; so much so that she could hardly stand it. "Aw, I'm sorry," she told him, carefully running her hand over the scruff on his jaw before leaning down to whisper in his ear. "I'll let you in on a little secret though…you're on the right track."

  Big folded his arms around her body and held her as tightly as his injuries would allow. "Alisha," he murmured into her ear, grinning when he felt her shiver. He kissed a trail up her jaw until he settled on her mouth. "I want you to be my girl," he said softly against her lips.

  Alisha pulled back with a brilliant smile on her face. "I already am."

  The door opened and James lumbered into the room closely followed by Maggie, Rosemary and Sarah. Big peered around Alisha to the intruders. "Thanks for stopping by, but would you all mind kindly fucking off for a while so I can kiss my girlfriend?"

  There was a brief round of applause from the collective and Alisha giggled before turning to smile at her best friend. Maggie's face cracked into a smile and she made a 'call me' gesture before tugging James towards the door.

  Rosemary was about to launch into a hearty congratulations, but Sarah stopped her. "C'mon, Mama. Let's leave them alone."

  "But, I just want to—"

  "I like Sarah's idea, Ma," Big grumbled. "I love you, but seriously, get the fuck out."

  Sarah laughed and pulled their pouting mother from the room.

  "Where were we?" he asked with a crooked grin.

  "I was about to kiss my boyfriend," she offered coyly.

  "Fuckin' right you were," he grinned, liking the way that word sounded coming out of her lips. (Shut up) Cupping her face gently, he pulled her mouth down to his and kissed his girl thoroughly.

  Chapter 21

  After five days of being in the hospital, Big was fucking over it already. He slept for shit because the damn adjustable bed was uncomfortable as all hell and he never got more than a couple hours at a time with the nurses walking in and waking him the fuck up to check his vitals. The food was disgusting; the only decent meal he'd had in the last five days was the burger and fries he'd threatened out of Chang's hands when that asshole came to visit.

  In short, he was pissed off and ready to go the fuck home.

  As he scowled at the gruel they tried to call breakfast on his tray, the door to his room opened and his mood improved instantly when Alisha walked in with a smile on her face and a paper bag in her hand. Yeah, his girl was fucking awesome like that. He dropped his fork and unceremoniously pushed the tray away before grinning at her. "Hey."

  "Hey yourself," Alisha said, her smile widening as she reached his bed. "I brought you some breakfast."

  "Thank God," he groaned, snatching the bag from her hands like a greedy child before pulling her down for a kiss. "I'm so fucking hungry I feel like I've been in a concentration camp for weeks. Ooh, breakfast burrito. Score!"

  "Jake!" Alisha admonished, her hands snapping to her hips, eyes narrowing.

  "What?" he asked with his mouth full.

  "How can you make such a horrible and insensitive joke about the atrocities committed against our people?"

  Big's forehead scrunched in concentration as he tried to remember what in the holy hell he'd just said. (Another thing he can thank the hospital for. Brain drain.) Oh. Oops. "Fuck's sake, babe, I was joking. Obviously I'm not down with Nazis. But look at that disgusting shit on my tray," he said, motioning to it and taking another enormous bite of the (delicious!) burrito she'd brought for him. "However this? S'really good," he mumbled. He swallowed and smiled up at her, watching the annoyance on her face fade away. "Thanks, babe."

  Alisha lowered her hands and shook her head. It was hard to remain annoyed when he looked like he looked and said babe the way he did. She decided that was probably both a good and bad thing for their relationship. (Relatio
nship. She was still getting used to that.) "You're welcome. Do you know if you're being released today?"

  Inhaling the last of his burrito, he grunted, shrugged his shoulders. "If I don't I've already got my escape route planned. Your assistance will be required." He wadded up the wrapper and tossed it on the tray. "Seriously—I can't fucking handle one more night in this joint."

  She perched on the edge of the bed and smoothed a hand over the thick stubble on his cheek. (She hadn't told him, but that intensely scruffy look on him was insanely hot.) His bruises had faded from black to yellow and the bandage above his eyebrow was gone, the gash there scabbed over. Overall, he looked a thousand times better than he had the day of his accident. "What's my part of your plan? Donning some scrubs and wheeling you out on a gurney?" she asked with a playful lilt to her voice.

  Big smirked and palmed her denim clad hip. "I was thinking more along the lines of a tight, black cat suit," he replied thickly.

  Alisha laughed. "How would a cat suit be inconspicuous in sneaking you out of the hospital?"

  "Dunno," he shrugged, a grin forming on his lips. "Was thinking you'd just look fucking hot in it and then I didn't get any further." She shook her head at him but giggled and pressed her lips warmly against his. "I can't wait to get out of here so I can have sex with my lady friend," he said lowly against her mouth. He chuckled when she pulled away and scowled at him.

  "I don't care how many times you try and use that term to desensitize me to it, Jake, it's not funny."

  "It's hilarious, Shorty." He poked at her face until she smiled. "But seriously, once I'm outta here, I'm taking you on a date and then we're gonna have sex and make this relationship all official like."

  Alisha sighed and pressed her lips together to keep the smile from forming. "I was unaware that we weren't official until we had the sex," she said, amused.

  "And a date," he reminded her. "'Cause I'm classy like that."

  "Yes, if you look up class in the dictionary your picture is listed under the definition," she said dryly.

  "Right?"

  She rolled her eyes. "I was being facetious."

  "Fa-what?" Alisha pushed to her feet and he grabbed her wrist, and chuckling, pulled her back down on the bed. "Relax, babe. I know what facetious means." (Honest, he did.)

  The door to his room opened again and a middle-aged nurse walked in.

  "Yo, Betty," he greeted. "Am I getting' outta here today or what?" he asked, his hand resting comfortably high on Alisha's thigh.

  "Yes, Mr. Biggerman you are," Betty replied, flashing them both a warm smile.

  Alisha turned and smiled brightly at Jake. He smirked and squeezed her leg.

  "I've got your discharge paperwork here and your prescriptions. I just spoke with the doctor and he gave me your discharge instructions. He wants to see you in a week to check your progress. I've included his office number, so call and set up an appointment. You're not to lift anything heavier than 40 pounds until the doc gives you the okay. And," she said, pausing to look up briefly at the patient and his girlfriend, "you are to refrain from sexual intercourse for the next four to six weeks."

  Alisha's eyes went wide but she said nothing. She wanted to look at Jake's face, but she was afraid he'd kick her out of the room because she was sure she'd laugh.

  Big's face fell and any elation he felt previously over getting out of the damn hospital had been murdered. "Betty, you're not funny."

  "I'm not joking. You sustained very serious injuries and you're recovering from surgery," she informed him matter-of-factly.

  "So I can't have sex?" he asked, baffled.

  "For four to six weeks, that is correct."

  Four to six weeks? Un-fucking-acceptable. "Jerking off is still cool though, right? 'Cause four to six weeks without that—not happening'."

  Alisha closed her eyes and felt her cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

  The nurse barked out a quick laugh and tried to mask it with a cough. "Masturbation is acceptable."

  "Sweet," Big said, nudging Alisha. "Means your mouth and hands are good, too," he told her, wagging his brows.

  She gasped and felt her face flame and her temper flare. She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole for embarrassing her so spectacularly.

  "Mr. Biggerman, I suggest if you ever hope to have any part of your girlfriend's person touch you again that you shut your mouth and shut it now."

  Big's mouth snapped shut and he sat silently just blinking owlishly at the nurse. He could feel Alisha's body vibrating with laughter after the nurse 'put him in his place.' He didn't think it was very fucking funny at all and he suspected she wouldn't either once she was forced to endure a four-to-six-week drought of Bigzilla-style lovin'. Motherfucker.

  "Smart boy," Betty laughed. "Just need you to sign these forms and you'll be free to leave."

  He hastily scribbled his signature on all of the necessary forms and handed them back.

  "Press the call button when you're ready and we'll bring a wheelchair down for you." With that, she turned on her crepe soled shoes and breezed out the door.

  "No fucking for four to six weeks? Are they kidding me with this?" he groused, pushing his body up higher in the bed.

  "Jake," she sighed, "you're recovering. It'll be fine." Though she wasn't entirely sure that she could last that long without him either.

  Big scoffed and rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him. "It's unfair, Lisha. We just got shit figured out and now I can't have sex with my hot la—girlfriend. Could this day seriously get any worse?"

  When the door opened at that exact moment and his mother and sister walked in arguing about ice cream flavors (no fucking lie) he wished he'd learn to keep his damn mouth shut once in a while.

  "Lisha, baby," he grumbled, pulling a pillow from behind his head and handing it to her, "just smother me now and put me out of my misery."

  By the time he walked through the front door of his apartment, he wanted to take an ice pick, or a screwdriver, or any other pointy object and drive it through his temple. Alisha had called a cab and had it waiting downstairs for them at the hospital and because his mother was fucking cheap and Alisha was too nice to say no, the four of them had shared the cab from Lenox Hill to his apartment while his mother blathered on and on about stupid shit that absolutely no one, least of all Ranjit the cabbie, cared about.

  He wanted his bed. He wanted sleep. And he wanted both now. (He also wanted quiet, but with Rosemary and Sarah all up in his apartment, he fucking knew better.)

  Alisha's hand came to the small of his back and gently nudged him towards his bedroom. She shut the door behind them, drowning out the chatter in the living room. She leaned against the door and huffed out a long, exasperated breath before lifting her eyes to his, which were decidedly amused.

  "Intense, right?" he asked knowingly, toeing off his shoes.

  That was definitely one word to describe them, she thought. And as nice as she found his mother and sister, the last few days with them had been a little…overwhelming. Still, her relationship with Jake was too new and she couldn't very well insult his family to his face. (There were lines you just didn't cross.) "I just need a minute," she told him honestly.

  "They're batshit crazy, babe, I know. You can say it." He sat down on the bed and ran his hand over his jaw. He needed to shave, but he'd also noticed the hot way Alisha'd been eyeing it and how she'd run her hand over his face a little more often than she normally would. Maybe he'd just keep it for a while.

  "I do not think that," Alisha insisted, pushing her body away from the door and running her fingers through her hair. She walked over and stood between his legs, brushing her thumbs over the sides of his face.

  (Oh yeah, definitely keeping the scruff for a while.) "Wanna take a nap with me?" he asked, yawning hugely.

  She really did. More than anything. But his mother and sister (mostly his mother) were in the living room. "No," she shook her head
and his face soured. "You know that I do, but your family's in the living room," she told him quietly, resting her hands on his shoulders, smiling when his hands smoothed up the backs of her thighs to rest on her backside. "And you need to rest," she added when he opened his mouth to protest. "I'll be here when you wake up. Okay?"

  Big nodded, too tired to argue, and tugged on her sweater until she lowered her mouth to his. He caught her bottom lip between his and kissed her slowly. "You better be," he told her.

  It was dark and quiet when he woke up from his nap. Rolling over, he glanced at the clock, realizing that he'd been asleep for close to five hours. Hell, that wasn't a nap, it was a mini-coma. He listened closely, expecting to hear his mother's voice reverberating throughout the apartment or his sister bitching about something. But the only thing he heard was some music playing softly in the living room. He half wondered if his mom and sister had driven Alisha so completely crazy that she'd ended up silencing them for good. Pushing to his feet he carefully stretched his arms overhead, wincing when his left side burned. He needed a shower and some pain medicine. His stomach growled, and he added food to that short list.

  Opening his bedroom door, his mouth watered from the delicious smells wafting from his kitchen. He saw Alisha standing at the counter putting a salad together and singing along quietly to the old country song playing on the stereo. She looked up from the kitchen and paused, smiling warmly at him. He felt a crooked grin tug at the corner of his mouth and he walked closer to her.

  "How was your nap?" she asked as she resumed dicing up a tomato.

  "Good." He glanced around the apartment and noticed that it was now spotless. He remembered it looking like a hovel when he walked in earlier (thanks to his freeloading sister, no doubt). "Did you off Ma and Sarah? S'quiet in here. And really clean."

  Alisha put down her knife and looked up at him, noting that he looked a lot more refreshed after his nap. "I spent the afternoon grocery shopping and making some meals for you with your mother while Sarah painted her nails and filled me in on the reason she fled the great state of New York—he sounds like a piece of garbage, if you ask me—and then your mother started ranting at her in Yiddish about her dating a goy in the first place and then being so lazy—something about how did she ever expect to become a good Jewish wife if she didn't even know how to run a household. Sarah said "God Rosemary, don't plotz," and then your mother got very quiet and had this really intense look on her face, which, if I'm being completely honest with you, is a bit terrifying. Your sister flew off the couch and started cleaning, which was amusing, but really rather pointless as your mother went right along behind her and redid everything anyway." She sighed and resumed chopping vegetables. Then she smirked and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "After all that mishegas I got them tickets to see Wicked and sent them to dinner at Lattanzi. They left about an hour ago."