Burn It Down

by Jess Anastasi

  Still, his body was definitely in opposition to his mind, his cock hard at just the thought of pressing up against Troy and all those muscles. With a muttered curse, he wrapped a hand around himself and took a long, dragging pull, biting his lip over a moan as he easily imagined Troy’s large fist doing all the work. In a few short strokes he was coming hard enough that he had to lean a forearm against the tiled wall or risk collapsing to his knees in the bottom of the shower.

  Fuck. He felt blissfully wrung-out as he let the water cascade over him.

  Maybe Del and Tate were onto something.

  Maybe he did need to take a risk on something like a hot park ranger. And it wasn’t as if he had to get into a relationship with the guy. It could be whatever he wanted or needed it to be. One night, or a casual few hookups, or even just some hot-and-heavy petting for an hour or two.

  Del would probably stroke out if he knew, but Jared hadn’t been with anyone in over eighteen months. In the weeks after Kevin, he’d blindly gone out and slept with guys who were the exact opposite of Kevin, trying to purge or pave over his memory. But in the end, it’d just left him feeling too raw. And then the idea of being intimate with another person had created a kind of low-level anxiety within him any time he seriously considered it, let alone actually going through with it. Maybe some kind of fling where he got back in the saddle and Troy sated the curiosity he’d seen burning in the other man’s gaze wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  TROY GLANCED around the crowded bar of Monroe’s for the third time in an hour, but shit just wasn’t working. His gaze lingered on some scantily clad girls around his own age who were obviously out for a good time, but he felt absolutely nothing.

  He then covertly let his gaze wander across the few guys he might have considered attractive if he was really looking. Yet again got zero response from his dick, like the thing had a faulty on/off switch that was stuck in off mode. Exactly where he’d already thought it was until Jared Winters had ambled into his life three mornings ago.

  Sighing, he swung back to the bar and focused on the game showing on the ridiculously massive TV attached to the wall. Might as well finish his beer and then take his sorry ass home. He glanced along the bar at the eruption of some raucous laughing to see a couple of guys goofing around. One was young. Definitely not twenty-one yet. However, the guy with him, who looked to be in his mid-to-late-twenties had been slipping him drinks, and now the younger guy was giggling drunk despite the early hour. Lucky Old Man Murphy wasn’t working tonight, or he would have chased them out with his infamous shotgun by now.

  “He came!” the young guy announced, pushing up to stand unsteadily. “It’s my Jared!”

  Troy’s heart kicked the inside of his chest like a goddamn bucking bronco as he slowly pivoted on the barstool to search the throng of people packed into the venue for Friday evening drinks, telling himself Jared was a common enough name and surely it wasn’t—

  Oh hell.

  Jared Winters was making his way through the crowd, shaking his head at the young man. He wore a pair of dark denim jeans and a faded soft cotton T-shirt that hugged every lean muscle across his shoulders and chest. Simple, but on him it looked so good.

  “Del, please don’t tell me you got Tate drunk,” Jared said above the noise as he reached the bar.

  “Sure thing. I definitely didn’t get Tate drunk,” the other guy dutifully answered—presumably Del. Jared’s brothers, he realized.

  “He totally did,” Tate announced, leaning toward Jared like he was going to impart some big secret. Jared caught his shoulder to stop him toppling off the stool. “Del told me we had to celebrate. Like a coming out party. We’re a gay trifecta! You just gotta wear all the gay ’round Mom and Dad for us, ’kay?”

  Jared rolled his eyes and shot a glare at Del, who just shrugged unrepentantly, while Troy’s heart thrummed faster as he took in the implications of Tate’s words.

  He hadn’t been wrong; Jared was gay. And now the guy was turning to order a drink and he would be right there in the Jared’s line of sight, so he had a split second to decide whether to duck away or—

  Jared’s gaze landed on him, sending surprise flashing across his face. But it was immediately followed by a warm smile of recognition, like goddamn dawn breaking over Lake Conroe in a rainbow of colors.

  “Hey there.” Jared came over and slid onto the stool next to him.

  “Hey yourself,” he answered, unable to help the stupid grin crossing his face.

  Oh yeah, there went the switch. His libido was definitely on. Apparently the damned thing only worked for a certain gorgeous firefighter.

  “Sorry about ducking out on you like that the other morning.” Jared shifted so he was facing him, their knees brushing. “Just had stuff on my mind, you know? Forgive me?”

  Even if he had been annoyed about it—which he hadn’t been, more just confused—with Jared practically pouting at him for forgiveness, he couldn’t have stayed mad very long.

  “Nothing to forgive. Like you said, we’re both busy. Thanks for going back and cleaning up those empty beer bottles, by the way. You didn’t have to do that.”

  “No problem.” Jared shrugged, clearly wanting to make like it was no big deal, when in fact Troy had just about wanted to kiss the ground Jared walked on for doing such a small, thoughtful thing. With his workload the way it was, not having to pick up trash that day had been a huge help. “You talked to Lewis or Aaron again?”

  Troy clenched his hand around his beer bottle at the mention of the two boys he was becoming increasingly worried about.

  “They’re still at the campground with their dads, Hal and Benny Sadler. I’ve been checking in on them regularly. Their dads are always drunk or hungover and in foul moods. I asked the kids how long they’re staying for over the summer, but they got a bit cagey.”

  He frowned at his beer, picking at the edge of the label with his thumbnail. He wished he could get Aaron to open up to him, but both kids were stubborn and distrustful as hell. Probably couldn’t blame them if their homelife was anywhere near what he thought.

  “You look worried. What’s on your mind?” Jared turned to face the bar again but shifted closer until their shoulders were bumping together.

  Troy shrugged, enjoying Jared’s nearness more than he probably had any right to. “I don’t know. I just have this feeling.”

  “What kind of feeling?”

  It was more like a resurrection of memories he’d thought long buried, ones he’d vowed to never let into the light of day again. Yet things with Lewis and Aaron had brought it all rushing to the surface.

  Danny, the manager of Monroe’s who always got behind the bar on a busy Friday night to help the other bartenders, stopped to take Jared’s order. The two of them chatted like they were more than acquaintances, and when Danny handed over Jared’s change, he thought the guy might have gotten a pretty heavy discount on his drink.

  “You were saying?” Jared prompted, fingers brushing his forearm, where it rested on the bar.

  “I don’t know. It’s nothing I can put my finger on. Only, I get the feeling maybe they’re not just there for the summer.”

  Jared watched him for a moment, taking the information in. “You think they’re living in those couple of tents?”

  “Wouldn’t be the first people to do it.”

  And it was worrying him more and more what would happen to the kids once he had to tell them to leave. Technically, he was supposed to tell them to move on after fourteen days; however, it just meant they needed to move their tents but could remain within the park grounds. Forty-five days and they’d have to leave the national forest altogether. Still, there wasn’t anything stopping them from spending a few nights elsewhere, then coming back again. The shower and toilet facilities at the campground were highly maintained, and the Sadler brothers wouldn’t be the first homeless people he’d had to permanently move on, nor would they be the last.

 
“Shit, that sucks,” Jared murmured, fingers tightening on his forearm before letting go altogether. “What are you going to do?”

  That was the million-dollar question. When he’d seen Aaron earlier today, the kid had a decent shiner that’d made him want to go pound his father into next week. Aaron said he’d fallen on some rocks while he and Lewis were messing around, but Troy could spot that kind of lie a mile off.

  “Keep an eye on things as best I can. Maybe see if I can’t earn Aaron’s trust and then work out if they need some kind of intervention from the local church outreach group or even protective services if it does come to that.”

  “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” Jared said, voice full of sincerity.

  Troy turned to look at him, caught by how the low lighting of the bar made his eyes look a deeper green, contrasting with his dark auburn hair. He could tell Jared really meant it—he wanted to help. It wasn’t one of those empty things people said to be polite.

  “Well now, if I wanted your help, I’d probably need your phone number to be able to call you.”

  Jared arched an eyebrow like he was impressed by the comment. Truly, Troy wasn’t sure where that little flare of audacity had come from himself. Usually he wasn’t so forthright. Even Jeanie had ended up asking him out after weeks of flirting.

  “Damn, you got me.” Jared pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Can’t say no to that without coming off as a jerk.”

  He straightened, not feeling so self-satisfied any longer. “Shit, Jared. I didn’t mean—”

  “It’s fine.” Jared’s hand was on his arm again, holding tighter this time. “I was just teasing. I am definitely okay with giving you my number. On one condition.”

  He relaxed on the stool again. “Oh yeah? And what might that be?”

  “You actually have to use it. Call or text, I don’t mind. But I’ll be expecting to hear from you.”

  There seemed to be something else to Jared’s gaze as he stared at him, like trying to impart an added message besides the obvious that Jared wanted to hear from him. Did Jared actually want more from him? The kind of more he couldn’t risk thinking about right now unless he wanted to be stuck sitting at this bar hiding a raging hard-on for the next hour?

  “You going to add a time limit on it?” he teased in return, hoping this was all leading where he thought it was leading. “Like I need to use it within a week? Or a few days? Or twenty-four hours?”

  He was all for texting Jared tomorrow or as soon as he got home tonight, but he also didn’t want to come on too strong, and as he’d already established, he was completely clueless about this whole dating-other-men thing.

  “Within forty-eight hours seems reasonable.” Jared smiled, an edge of heat to the expression as they swapped numbers, then returned to their beers.

  “Jared!” His younger brother lurched over from where he’d been sitting a few stools down. “Del wants to send me home. He called me an Uber. Since when do we even have Uber in Ever-ass?”

  “Ever-ass?” Troy repeated under his breath as Jared attempted to help his tipsy younger brother stand up straight.

  “Family joke,” Jared explained as Tate swung around to glare at Del, but swiveled his whole body instead of just his head. He probably would have face-planted if not for Jared holding on to him.

  “It’s not even eight o’clock,” Tate complained. “I think Del is just trying to get rid of me so he can pick up. S’not fair. I want to pick up. I’m a virgin. I need it more than he does.”

  Troy braced a fist against his mouth to stop from cracking up laughing as Jared aimed a death glared toward Del. The guy rolled his eyes and finally came over.

  “Tate, you’re falling-down drunk, buddy.” Del caught an arm around Tate’s shoulders. “Even if you could get it up—which I’m seriously doubting at this point—no one wants to hook up with someone messy. Whiskey-dick is seriously embarrassing, bro.”

  “I’m not messy!” Tate burped and Jared leaned away from him, presumably trying to escape the fumes. “I’m just buzzed, that’s all. So y’all can go fuck the fuck off if you think I’m leaving.”

  “I can drive him, if he needs a lift. I’ve only had the one beer.” Troy had no idea why he was offering to leave the bar since the only thing he wanted to do was stay with Jared as long as possible, but it seemed like the polite thing to do.

  “Nah, we’re good,” Del answered. “I really did call him an Uber. It’ll be here any minute.”

  Del seemed to be eyeing him, so he held out a hand across Jared’s front. “Troy Hurst. I’m a park ranger out at Sam Houston National Forest.”

  “Oh my God!” Tate yelled—actually, it was closer to a screech. “You’re the hot park ranger!”

  Troy laughed, totally caught off guard and feeling more than a little self-conscious. “I’m the what now?”

  “Tate,” Jared practically growled in warning, his cheeks flushed an interesting shade of pink.

  “You were right, Jared. He is totally hot. You should take him home.” Tate seemed to think hard about this while Del laughed his ass off and Jared looked like he was a second away from punching his hapless younger brother. “Actually, not to our home. I don’t want to have to listen to you getting off all night. You should take him to his home. You have a home, right, Mr. Hot Park Ranger? One with a nice big bed for fuck—”

  Del was bent over laughing by this point as Jared shot up off the barstool. “Del! That Uber must be here by now.”

  Jared took Tate’s arm and thrust him toward Del, who was wiping at the corners of his eyes. “Are you sure? Because I honestly want to hear what Tate has to say about Troy’s nice big bed.”

  “Get lost, both of you!”

  “Come on, Tatey-boy. I think we failed as Jared’s wingmen tonight.” Del tugged Tate into an unsteady walk.

  “Oh no, did we?” Tate sounded disappointed. “Sorry we weren’t better at getting you some sex, Jared! I’ll try harder next time.”

  This yelled loud enough for half the bar to hear.

  Jared groaned and dropped his face to his folded arms on the bar while Troy finally let go of the laugh he’d been holding onto.

  “Please, can we just rewind time and pretend the past few minutes never happened?” Jared’s voice was muffled since it was directed toward the floor.

  “No way. That was epic. I only wish I had gotten my phone out and recorded the whole thing.”

  Jared groaned again and shook his head.

  “So, hot park ranger, huh?” He nudged Jared in the side, any self-doubts he’d previously struggled with going up in a puff of smoke to leave him feeling warm and reassured.

  “I’m denying all knowledge of that drunk guy and his dubious-looking companion.” Jared finally lifted his head, the flush of color still staining his cheeks. “Totally disavowing any claim to any brothers.”

  “As brothers go, they seemed pretty great to me.” Sure, they’d given Jared hell, but he could also see the affection between the three of them.

  “They’re all right, I guess.” Jared paused to take a long swallow of his beer like he was seriously thirsty. Probably trying to take the edge off and wishing it was something stronger. “So, where were we?”

  “You were going to tell me all about how I’m the hot park ranger.” He almost managed to get the words out without smiling but completely failed at the last second.

  “I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?” Jared complained, but the firefighter seemed to be staring at him in speculation.

  “Not in this lifetime.” He shot Jared a wink and then finished what was left in the bottom of his glass.

  “Okay, let’s skip right over any pretenses, since Tate pretty much exploded them all for me. You want to get out of here?”

  Troy awkwardly swallowed the last few drops of beer and had to resist the urge to cough.

  “Seriously?” His voice came out hoarse, and he cleared his throat. “Like… together?”

 
; “If that’s what you want.” Jared ran a slow gaze over him. “If you think you’re up for it.”

  Oh, he could definitely be up for it. Up would be no problem whatsoever. But he suddenly felt like he was standing on a precipice, a canyon below him where he couldn’t see the bottom. If he went with Jared, possibly by the end of the night, everything he thought he’d known about himself was probably going to look very, very different.

  Except that notion didn’t freak him out. It didn’t send any kind of nerves or apprehension tumbling through him. Instead it all just felt so….

  Right.

  One simple word that shouldn’t have been able to explain everything he was feeling inside himself in that moment, but somehow it did.

  Jared must have taken his silence as an indication of his indecision or reluctance, because he suddenly eased back from him, expression tensing a little.

  “Or, you know, you can just call me like we said—”

  He reached down and caught Jared’s hand, linking their fingers like he’d wanted to do three mornings ago when he’d had the ice pack pressed against Jared’s cheek.

  “Getting out of here sounds like a great idea.”

  Jared relaxed again, a hint of relief in his features as he smiled. He didn’t say anything but tugged on Troy’s hand and then led him away from the bar, pressing through the crowd until they reached the street. They emerged into a balmy Texas evening, the temperature still in the high eighties even though the sun had started sinking toward the horizon.

  “What did you have in mind?” he asked as they ambled away from the front of the bar, still holding hands. Maybe he should have let go, or been worried about what anyone else on the street thought, or wondered what it meant himself. But he was enjoying the simple press of their palms and feel of their fingers tangled and didn’t want to give it up unless Jared indicated he didn’t want the contact. But Jared continued holding him just as firmly while they walked slowly along the footpath.

  “I don’t know, actually,” Jared answered with a shrug. “Like Tate so elegantly put it, we’re not likely to get any privacy at my place. And I feel kind of restless. Like I could do with a walk or a drive or something, you know?”