Renewed (Shattered #3)

by Heather D'Agostino

  “Hey!” Avery jumped in now. “I like the things he says. It shows he cares."

  “Thanks babe,” Cam leaned over and kissed her. He kissed her right there in front of us.

  “You’re sunk bro, so sunk, and you don't even know it yet," I shook my head.

  "That's ok," Cam sighed as he grinned at Avery. "I'll drown a happy man."

  “So sunk,” I muttered again as I finished my dinner and carried my plate to the dishwasher.

  It was gonna be a long night at this rate. My brother and Avery in the room next to mine. The bed in that room shared a wall with my bed. Determined not to hear my brother having sex tonight, I stomped over to the front door, grabbed my wallet, and stormed out of the house as I shouted over my shoulder, “I’ll be back in a little while. I’m going to the store.” I needed to get those earplugs pronto.

  Chapter 8

  Leah

  When I woke up the next morning, all I heard was silence. Nick had returned last night with a giant bag of earplugs. Where he got them, I have no idea but I didn’t have to listen to whatever was happening next door. I knew Nick was thankful too. He’d been at mine and Avery’s place when she had Logan over. He knew how loud she could get. Of course, he and I usually put up quite a fight, but Avery held the honor of being the loudest. I think the fact that it was his brother is what set Nick off the most. He knew Cam had sex, hell he had a baby. I think the fact that it was his little brother gave him the skeeves though. Nick always viewed Cam as the one he was supposed to protect. After their dad left them when they were both young, Nick’s mom left it up to him to become the father figure in the house. Back then, Nick wasn’t much of a role model. After he met me, and calmed down, that’s when he seemed to turn his life around. Now, I think Nick wanted to pretend that Cam was still the teenager that was asking about how to kiss a girl.

  When I rolled over in bed to face Nick, I took a minute to take in the sight before me. Normally, Nick would have gotten up and gone for his morning run. He was a morning person and very rarely stayed in bed late. It seemed lately though that he was changing his routine to be with me. The last several days, I'd awoken to find him staring at me. Now as I laid here beside him, I got a chance to stare. I'm amazed at how young he looks when he's relaxed in sleep. The tightness around his eyes and mouth was gone. His sandy hair was in disarray. He was on his stomach with his arms wrapped around his pillow bunching it up under his head. His long, dark lashes were fanned across his cheeks, and his full lips were pursed as if he was about to kiss someone. There’s a small amount of freckles that dot his nose and cheek bones. I let my eyes wander more as he shifted slightly on the bed. His broad shoulders are bare and the slightly bronzed from the remnants of his tan from the summer. A sheet was covering his perfect backside, leaving his legs sticking out below. I let my eyes devour the man in front of me. He was perfect in every way, and it was hard for me to lay here and not touch him.

  He shifted on the bed again and jerked his leg causing the sheet to slide lower. The top of his butt slowly beginning to peak out. I licked my lips as I inched closer contemplating whether I should wake him or not. Nick has what I call an "onion butt." You know…it's so perfect it makes you wanna cry? I know why the women swoon over him. Why they eat up any morsel of attention he throws their way? He's perfect and sexy as hell…and he's mine.

  I lifted my hand, and let it hover over his face as I got ready to caress his cheek, when our son decided to flip around. I say our son, but I don’t know for sure. We find out today. I hope he looks just like Nick. If he gets Nick’s crooked smile and big bright eyes, he’ll be a lady killer for sure. Nick asked me last night if I thought it might be a girl. I kinda shrugged him off. I can’t imagine what Nick would be like with a daughter. He’s so protective of me. What would he do when she’s old enough to date?

  “You know you really shouldn’t stare,” Nick’s sleepy voice mumbled beside me shaking me out of my daydream.

  "I can't help it when I have such a great view," I giggled as I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

  His eyes slowly blinked open as he adjusted to the light in the bedroom. "Morning," he yawned.

  "Good morning," I smiled back at him.

  Nick rolled onto his side, and propped himself up on his elbow, “You sleep ok?" He eyed the wall we shared with the guest room before glancing back at me.

  "Yeah," I giggled again. "They didn't wake me, this one did," I pointed to my belly and rubbed it lightly. "I don't know how I'm gonna make it another five months," I huffed as I rolled onto my back and groaned.

  "Well, after today we'll know what's cooking in here,” Nick grinned at me as he leaned over and kissed my belly. He began caressing the bump as he uttered sweet words to it, “Are you giving Mommy a hard time? Huh?” He kissed it again as he continued to coo, “You know Daddy loves you.” Just as he said the words, the baby decided to kick. It kicked right where Nick’s cheek was resting on my abdomen. His head lifted, and stared at my belly like it was going to attack him. “He kicked me!” Nick gasped.

  I grinned as I watched the strong man in front of me become so vulnerable. "You called it him," I whispered.

  “Well,” Nick shrugged "you said you thought it was a boy."

  "What if it's a girl?" I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair.

  "Doesn't matter," Nick shook his head as he went back to talking to the baby. "I'll love you no matter what."

  I couldn’t help the tears that were gathering in my eyes. I thought back to the conversation that Nick and I had in the hospital. The one where he asked me how he was supposed to love a child that took me away. He seemed so lost at that time, like he didn’t think he could love this baby because I might die bringing it into the world. Now as I lay here with him in this bed, I know that no matter what happens to me, this baby will have a father that loves it unconditionally.

  ooooooooo

  When we arrived at the doctor's office later that afternoon, I was a ball of nerves. I was excited to find out what we were having but nervous that the doctor would have bad news about my condition. I hadn't had any more cramping since we left Pittsford, but I'd been following the doctor’s orders to a T. I was on medication too, and other than standing in the shower, or walking to the kitchen table I pretty much stayed in bed all day. The lack of movement was slowly killing me, but I was willing to do anything at this point to ensure the health of myself and the baby.

  When we were called back to the exam room, Nick followed along behind me with his hand placed possessively on my hip. This was his first trip here, and I could tell by the tenseness of his muscles that he was nervous.

  We followed the nurse into the small room, and Nick helped me up onto the exam table. He sat himself in a chair that was near the corner, but then moved it to be close enough to me that he could hold my hand.

  "You ok?" he murmured as he kissed my forehead.

  “Yeah,” I sighed and nodded lightly. “Relax. Dr. Wright is great," I smiled at him as I adjusted myself on the table.

  Before Nick responded, there was a soft knock on the door, and Dr. Wright appeared. "Miss Carmichael…how are you today?" she smiled brightly.

  "Oh ok," I released a breath as Nick gave my hand a squeeze.

  "Any pain since your earlier scare?" she flipped open the folder she was holding and began scanning it.

  “No,” I shook my head. "I've done everything the other doctor told me to do."

  “Good. Let’s see what we’ve got going on in there,” her lips lifted on one side as she tugged the ultrasound machine over to the side of the table and instructed me to lay back. “I’m going to check the placenta first. I want to make sure that the separation has slowed or stopped. Based on the fact that you haven’t had any pain, I’m hoping for a positive result.” She placed some of the blue jelly on my belly, and then began dragging the wand through it. “Ok…here’s the placenta. Looks like the separation has stopped. It’s still in pretty poor condition but
is functioning. As long as the baby’s still growing…you should be fine for now. I have to admit though,” she looked from me to Nick, “I agree with Dr. Singh…you shouldn’t be continuing this pregnancy. This is extremely high risk, and this baby could very well not survive long enough to deliver."

  I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and bit down before releasing the breath, "That's not an option for me. I'll do whatever needs to be done for the health of my child, but I will not kill it."

  “Very well,” Dr. Wright began sliding the wand around again. "Alright…let's see how the little one is doing." When she moved the wand so the image of the baby appeared on the screen it was all I could do to not cry. Tiny arms and legs were flailing around to match the whooshing of the heartbeat in the background. "Heartbeat's strong," she clicked with the mouse on the machine. "Head circumference looks good, femur's length is normal," she turned her gaze to me. "Your baby's growing normally. You're doing a great job taking care of yourself. Would you like to know the sex?"

  "Yes," both Nick and I answered at the same time.

  "Let's see if we can get this little one to cooperate with us," she slid the wand around as the baby did flips in my belly. It was like it was trying to put a show, and knew we were watching. "Hmmm," she cocked her head to the side "looks like…" she trailed off as she studied the screen.

  "What? Looks like what?" Nick stood from the chair as he gripped my hand tighter.

  "A girl," Dr. Wright smiled. "You have a daughter."

  "A girl?" Nick grinned. "It's a girl?"

  "Yep," Dr. Wright smiled at us before clicking the machine. "I'll print some of these pictures for you while you get cleaned off."

  "Thanks," I nodded as I took a wad of tissue she handed me before exiting the room. I waited a moment before chancing a look a Nick.

  “It’s a girl,” he whispered. “Another one of you.” The reverence in his voice just about broke my heart.

  "So you're happy?" I finally turned to look at him after I'd wiped off the jelly.

  His head bobbed," Why wouldn't I be?"

  "It's just…I was so sure it was going to be a boy," I grinned as tears continued to run down my cheeks.

  “I know,” Nick murmured as he wrapped me in his arms. “But I’m getting another beautiful Carmichael girl in my life."

  “Sutter girl,” I mumbled into his neck as I felt him tremble. “She’s yours Nick, yours and mine. We made her together."

  "I know," he shuddered. "I'm still processing it all. It might take me a while."

  "That's ok," I giggled. "I'm still processing it too."

  ooooooooo

  Once we had made my next appointment to come back in two weeks, Nick wrapped his arm around my waist and led me to the car. We’d been taking my car when we went out since it was easier to get in and out of, today being no exception. The photos of our daughter were clutched tightly in my hand as I climbed in. I didn’t want to risk dropping them, and I knew as soon as we returned to the house Avery would want all the details.

  After closing my door, Nick bounded around the front of the car and dropped into the driver's seat. "Ready?" he smiled at me as he cranked the engine.

  “Let’s go home,” I nodded. “I’ve got phone calls to make. My dad is been driving me crazy wanting to know if he’s getting a grandson or granddaughter.

  "I was thinking more along the lines of dinner in bed with maybe a foot massage," he glanced down at my swollen ankles.

  "Sounds wonderful," I sighed as I leaned back in my seat.

  Nick lifted a shoulder as he began to back out of the parking space, "I gotta take care of my girls."

  I bit my lower lip as I sucked in a deep breath trying to keep my emotions in check. “I love you,” I wiped at the tear falling from the corner of my eye.

  "Hey," Nick reached up to cup my cheek. "Don't cry."

  “They’re happy tears,” I sobbed as I placed my hand over his. “I’m so happy right now."

  "Me too," Nick smiled softly. "I thought that after the baby's born…we could have that wedding that we had planned. You and I…on the beach at sunset?"

  "After the baby?" I sniffed.

  "Yeah," he darted his eyes down to my belly before looking back up. "I want her there to see her mommy and daddy get married."

  "But what if…" I trailed off.

  "Leah," Nick's face ironed out. "We're not gonna think like that. Only happy thoughts…you, me, and our daughter are going to live a long and happy life. All of us…do you hear me?"

  I nodded wordlessly as I sniffed again. I hoped he was right. I wanted that…the happily ever after…all of it. I just hoped the universe wasn't cruel enough to give me this glimpse and then take it all away.

  Chapter 9

  Leah

  It had been two months since we’d found out about our daughter. Two long months of me sitting in this bed. I was ready to scream at this point. I was tired of being stuck on my ass with nowhere to go. Avery had come to visit numerous times, especially now that Nick was back at work. That’s a whole other thing. Nick…Nick didn’t want to let me out of his sight.

  The first day he went back, Avery stayed with me. She had to leave the next morning though, so then he called Callie. That did not go over well at all. I mean, Callie was nice and all, but we weren’t really friends. She’s the girl who accused me of being a one-night stand for Nick, the girl who was swimming naked in the pool last summer, the hot neighbor that he finally confessed he’d tried to put the moves on? Yeah…Callie and I tolerated each other, but we weren’t friends.

  When she showed up that morning, I had to bite my tongue. Nick begged me to let her stay. He said he’d be able to relax and get some work done if he knew I wasn’t home alone. For him, I said I would try. Yeah, trying lasted one day. By that afternoon, I was ready to snap. Ever seen two people that don't like each other forced into the same room? That was us. Callie spent the day in the living room watching TV, me…I stayed right where I am now, in bed. We didn’t speak other than what was required to communicate. By lunchtime, I’d called Nick and told him he better find a way to trust me because I did not want her in my house for one more minute. She had spent too much time looking at photos of Nick with those lustful eyes, and smirking at me. The stares she would give my bulging belly didn’t go unnoticed either. She was jealous, why I had no idea. I mean…she was dating an NFL player…and a hot one at that. If I wasn’t in the condition I’m in now, I would have put her in her place. I gotta keep my blood pressure down though and can't risk any sudden movement or strain to my body.

  Nick finally gave into me, and let me start staying here alone, but now after two months of it I was going crazy. I knew exactly how many steps it took to go from the bathroom to the bed, the bed to the kitchen, and the bed to the couch. As much as I wanted to be a mom, I wasn’t sure I would ever want to go through pregnancy again if I had a chance of this happening to me. The one bright spot in my life right now was coming on Friday. Avery was coming for the weekend with Cam and Aaron. She was throwing me a baby shower with all of our friends and family. I felt bad that everyone had to travel to Wilmington, but they all knew that I had to stay put. The thought of seeing everyone, my dad included, had me giddy with excitement. Nick had something going on too. I had no idea what, but he'd been very secretive lately. I figured he'd tell me when he was ready, but the thought of him planning a surprise had me wanting to find out what it was.

  ooooooooo

  "Honey I'm home!" Nick's voice echoed through the house as I flicked off the TV.

  "In here!" I called back. I was still in the same position I'd been in for the last six hours.

  "In where?" Nick called again as he wandered down the hall.

  “Where else would I be?” I grumbled when he stopped in the doorway of our bedroom. “I’ve been stuck here for weeks. Once this baby comes, I might never want to sleep in this room again," I pouted.

  "Hey!" Nick grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't sa
y that," he moved closer, "this is my bed. You don't want to sleep with me anymore?"

  "That's not what I meant, and you know it," I turned my head away so he couldn't see the smile I was fighting.

  "I'm sorry," he murmured as I felt the bed dip beside me. "I know this sucks, but there's nothing we can do about it. It'll be over soon," he placed his hand on my knee and squeezed it.

  “Yeah, I guess,” I shrugged him off as I shifted in the bed.

  "What's going on with you tonight?" he reached for my chin to coax me into facing him.

  “Nothing. I’m sorry! It’s just…I’m tired of all this. Is it always going to be this way?” I waved my arm between us.

  "Huh?" he gave me a bewildered look.

  "I mean…if we decide later on that we want more kids…is it going to be like this?" I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I watched Nick's face stare blankly at me. "You want more right?"

  "No!" he slowly shook his head. "I don't want to worry about you. I'm not risking losing you to have more babies. We need to get through this pregnancy first."

  I jerked my head back, "You don't know that something's going to happen to me."

  "You're right I don't, but I'm not willing to risk it," he rose from the bed and began to pace beside me. As he pulled on the ends of his hair he growled, "I can't go through this again Leah! I can't, and if you love me, you won't ask me to!"

  "Whoa! Where is this coming from?" my head snapped back as he unleashed his frustrations that had been building over the last several weeks.

  “I…I’ve been trying to be supportive. I don’t know what to say to you. I want this baby…I do,” he sighed. “But you need to understand what I’m going through. You’ve seemed to accept the idea that you might not make it. I haven’t. I can’t go through losing you again, only for good this time. I love you! Can’t you understand that? I love you so much that I can’t see straight at times. The idea of you risking your life for more kids just twists me up so bad that I want to shake you right now. I want you to see that you are what’s important to me. You! I don’t need more kids to be happy. I don’t need any kids happy!” he dropped to his knees in front of me. “I don’t need anything but you! You’re all I want! Can’t you see that?” his shoulders began to shake as he buried his face in my lap.