Hold on to your Dreams

by Beryl Matthews

  Gertrude could not bear to see her father suffer any longer. ‘Mother, I have several pieces of jewellery. We can sell those, and we must use the money Grandfather left me.’

  ‘I agree, and I have also gathered together the best of my jewellery. Come, let us persuade your father.’

  They went into the library and Sutton glanced up. He looked near to collapse.

  ‘We have come to help, my dear.’ Florence sat beside her husband. ‘You cannot shoulder this burden alone.’

  He ran a hand over his eyes. ‘I am desperately sorry to be stripping our home, but I’m afraid it is to no avail. I shall have to sell the business.’

  ‘No!’ Gertrude and Florence spoke together.

  ‘I will not allow you to do that, Sutton,’ Florence told him. ‘You may sell everything in this house, but not your business.’

  He sat back, admiration showing in his tired eyes. ‘This is your home. You have always loved it.’

  ‘That is true,’ she said gently, ‘but I love you more. Let us get this debt paid, and then we can start again. We will have little chance of doing that if you sell the business. That is our future, my darling. You must hold on to it whatever the cost. Gertrude and I have some pieces of jewellery. They can be sold.’

  Gertrude spoke for the first time. ‘And I insist you use my money, Father.’

  He studied them both intently for some moments, then said, ‘I have been blessed with two of the most unselfish women a man could wish for. I might be forced to use your inheritance, Gertie, but I’ll try not to. Keep your jewellery though. I will find another way.’

  Florence leant across to look at the figures her husband was working on and shook her head. ‘We may have to sell this house. Hanna will take us in. I’ve already told her and she has offered us a home with her.’

  Sutton groaned. ‘Dear Lord, what a mess that boy has landed us in. You do realise this can’t be kept secret. News that we are selling possessions at great speed will already be circulating.’

  ‘I don’t care what people are saying.’ Florence sat up straight, a determined glint in her eyes. She managed a grim smile. ‘Let the truth be known. And a name or two should be mentioned. Carefully, of course. We don’t want those thugs paying us another visit. But it will alert society to those men, and hopefully make other young men wary of associating with them.’

  ‘That is a splendid idea,’ Gertrude agreed, her admiration for her mother growing all the time. ‘I could do that quite easily. After all, I am the daughter and naturally distraught about the situation. It’s understandable that I cannot hide my distress.’

  ‘Very understandable,’ Sutton said dryly, seeming more relaxed knowing he had the support of his family. He sat back. ‘The three of us will pull together, and we’ll get through this.’

  ‘Of course we will!’ Hanna strode into the library and placed a purse in front of her brother. ‘There are fifty guineas in there. It is all I could raise at short notice. If you lose this house then you may all move in as soon as you please.’

  ‘Thank you, Hanna.’ Florence greeted her sister-in-law with a kiss on the cheek. ‘That is very generous of you, and I fear it may come to that.’

  Hanna studied her brother. ‘Don’t look so grim, Sutton. Florence is right. You must keep the business. Everything else can go. And if I see Edward I shall take a stick to him. Which is something you should have done a long time ago.’

  ‘Spoiling him was my fault.’ Florence couldn’t stop her voice shaking. ‘I am responsible for this disaster.’

  ‘No, my dear, you have no reason to feel like that,’ Sutton declared. ‘We treated both of our children in the same way and our daughter has never let us down. There’s a weakness in Edward we failed to see.’ He glared at his sister. ‘You will watch what you say, Hanna. I will not have you upsetting Florence.’

  ‘I had no intention of doing that. Please accept my apologies, Florence. This is a terrible time for you and I’m sure my sharp manner is unwelcome. But you know me. I speak my mind without thinking.’

  ‘There is nothing to forgive,’ Florence told her. ‘You are quite right. We have been too lenient with Edward and now we are paying for that mistake.’

  Gertrude watched in silence, upset by the pain so obvious in their faces. They were suffering, and the home they had built together with love was being disposed of because of the son they had thought the world of. He had betrayed them, and that was causing them incredible pain. She knew that betrayed was a harsh word to use, but it was how she saw it at this moment. She’d been told about titled men who had lost their homes and estates at the gaming tables, unable to stop, and believing that the next hand would win it all back. But it never did, and it was like a sickness some men caught. Even though she had begun to be concerned about her brother’s gambling, she hadn’t allowed herself to believe it was this serious. But in the midst of this crisis she didn’t love her brother any the less. Her fear for him was constantly with her. She would search for him, but at this moment it was her parents who needed her support.

  The door opened and David was shown in. He went straight to Sutton. ‘I have been hearing dreadful news, sir. Is it true Edward has massive debts and you have been – persuaded – to pay them?’

  ‘That is true, David.’

  ‘Forgive me if you think I am prying into your personal affairs, but I have always had great affection for your family. Can you raise the money?’

  ‘With difficulty. I’ve been over and over the figures, and until this house is sold I cannot pay in full. I will need more time than these men have given me.’

  ‘Sell your home?’ David’s face drained of all colour. ‘It can’t be that bad, surely! Edward wouldn’t have been that foolish.’

  ‘I’m afraid he has.’ Sutton grimaced in pain as he stood. ‘It was kind of you to come and see us.’

  ‘You are badly hurt!’ David spun around to face Gertrude. ‘This is appalling. Where is Edward? I will tell him what I think of his behaviour.’

  ‘He isn’t here,’ she told him.

  ‘I turned him out.’ Sutton sat down again, anguish written on every line of his face. ‘He is no longer my son and can never return.’

  David glanced at each stricken face in horror. ‘Dear God,’ he murmured. ‘Let me help you. I should be able to raise some money for you.’

  ‘No, no,’ Sutton said firmly. ‘That is generous of you, but this is our problem. We will deal with it.’

  Their friend would not be stopped. ‘You say you cannot raise all the money at once so I am assuming you will have to ask for more time.’

  ‘I shall approach them tomorrow.’

  Gertrude took a quick step forward. ‘But you are not well enough. Tell me where to find them and I’ll go.’

  ‘I will not allow you near them!’ her father said. ‘Have you forgotten they have threatened to harm you?’

  ‘What?’ David glared at her. ‘Do you wish to cause your father more grief, Gertie? What are you thinking?’

  ‘Don’t you question my thinking!’ she said, furious. ‘We need more time. Father is injured and cannot go. Who else is there?’

  ‘I’ll meet the men.’

  Her anger faded. ‘Oh, David, you’re a good friend, but it must be a member of the Melrose family. Don’t you see that?’

  ‘You are right about that, my dear.’ Sutton sighed deeply. ‘But I will not place you in such danger. I am the one who must go.’

  ‘You will not, Sutton. I’ll represent the Melrose family and David will come with me as protection. And don’t you dare argue about it.’ All eyes fixed on Hanna, who was examining the ivory lion’s head on her walking stick. Then she looked up and smiled. ‘I shall take this silence as an agreement.’

  Sutton covered his eyes with his hands, head bowed, then he looked up. ‘This is impossible, Hanna.’

  ‘Of course it isn’t. They are hardly likely to become violent when faced with a frail, elderly lady.’

  The
tension in the room was great, but Gertrude was unable to stop herself from shrieking with laughter, albeit rather hysterical. Her aunt was not even fifty yet, and anything but frail. If anyone attacked her, she would give a good account of herself.

  ‘Stop this, Hanna. You’re younger than me – and I suspect – stronger. You just like a fight. Admit it.’

  ‘Ah, you know me too well, brother dear, but nothing will stop me from doing this.’

  ‘Very well, but I am the one to go. You may come and support me. I cannot do this alone and if I turned up with another man they would take it as a threat.’

  ‘Exactly. A woman will appear harmless.’

  ‘Little do they know,’ he murmured as he turned to David. ‘I thank you for your courageous offer, but I would never be able to forgive myself if you suffered harm.’

  David was clearly disappointed. ‘I do understand, sir. If you need help at any time I hope you will call on me.’

  ‘We’ll be grateful for your support.’ Sutton reached out and shook his hand.

  ‘With your permission, I’ll call tomorrow evening to see how the meeting went.’

  ‘You’re always welcome here. Don’t concern yourself too much. We’ll sort this mess out.’

  ‘I know you will.’ He smiled sadly at Gertrude, holding out his hand. ‘Will you walk with me to the door?’

  Once away from the others she said, ‘I need your help.’

  ‘Anything,’ he replied without hesitation. ‘We’ve known each other from the age of five. You and Edward are like brother and sister to me. I can’t stand by and do nothing. Seeing the family I love and respect being ruined is hard to take. Tell me what you need and it shall be done.’

  ‘Find Edward for me. He’s out there alone and destitute. I need to know where he is and what he’s doing. I suggested that he go to Aunt Hanna or you, but he’s done neither. He can’t rely on those so-called friends of his, for they are pressing for the debt to be paid. Mother’s desperately worried, though she is doing her best to hide it. She’s giving Father her complete support but I know she’s suffering. Edward’s conduct has devastated her.’

  ‘Leave it with me. I’ll do everything I can to find him.’

  She squeezed his hand. ‘Thank you. We’ll keep this between the two of us, please.’

  ‘Of course. You can trust me.’

  ‘I know, and bless you.’

  ‘That’s what friends are for.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘You call if you need me.’

  She watched him leave, grateful to have such a good friend. As she turned to return to the library she heard a slight sound coming from the drawing room. The sight that met her when she opened the door tore at her heart. Her mother was standing by the fireplace with her hands clasped over her mouth to stifle the sobs.

  ‘Oh, Mother.’ Gertrude placed her arms around her. ‘We’ll get through this.’

  ‘I know, but it’s so hard. Not only have we lost our beloved son, but also everything we’ve worked for has gone. Your father will have to work like a slave to pull us out of this disaster. And that isn’t right.’

  ‘No, it isn’t. But he’ll do it.’

  Florence nodded and dried her eyes. ‘Don’t tell him I broke down. He has enough to worry about. I don’t want him to know how weak I am.’

  ‘You’re not weak!’ Gertrude protested. ‘I saw you agreeing to the sale of this house and you didn’t even flinch. That took great courage, Mother, so don’t you dare belittle yourself like that. I am proud of you. I am proud of both of you.’

  ‘Thank you, darling. You are a great comfort to us. I’m frantic about Edward. If only we knew where he’d gone.’

  ‘I’ve asked David to find him for us, just to put our minds at rest.’

  ‘Oh, that was good of you. He’s a fine boy and will do his best to find Edward.’

  Gertrude felt helpless. If only she could save this house. It had always been a beautiful home. Her father would be ashamed he could no longer provide for his family. It wasn’t his fault and he had no reason to blame himself. But he would. She knew him so well.

  If only there was something she could do, but the situation was hopeless.

  Taking a deep breath she silently asked her brother the question, ‘Do you know what you’ve done to your family, Edward?’

  Chapter Six

  The tension was unbearable as they waited for her father and aunt to return from their meeting with the debt collectors. Sutton had refused to tell them anything about the meeting place, or the men, saying it was for their own protection, but this just made the waiting harder. Florence and Gertrude rushed to meet them as they came in, but all they would say was that the men had agreed to give them another ten days to find the rest of the money. Even her aunt remained silent on the subject, and this was unusual. Every effort was being made to sell the house, but without success so far. And more bad news was that David had been unable to trace Edward. He had disappeared. The only news bringing relief was that the debt collectors had given them more time.

  The day after, Gertrude was wandering aimlessly around the house, not able to settle to anything.

  ‘Why don’t you go to your bookshop?’ her mother suggested. ‘There isn’t anything you can do here.’

  ‘I was intending to meet two young people there today.’ She was doubtful about leaving her mother, even for a couple of hours.

  ‘Then you must go, my dear. It will do you good to browse through your beloved books for a while.’

  ‘The youngsters will be disappointed if I don’t turn up.’ She studied her mother’s face, but she seemed quite calm. ‘If you don’t mind, I would like to go.’

  ‘Go along then. You mustn’t keep your friends waiting.’ Florence hesitated for a moment. ‘On your way back, will you call on David and see if he has any news?’

  ‘Of course.’ She rushed upstairs for her coat and purse, eager to be on her way. Standing around doing nothing was against her nature.

  Millie and Fred were standing outside the bookshop when she arrived, stamping their feet against the biting wind. Their clothes were inadequate for such weather and Gertrude decided she would bring them something warmer to wear next time she came. ‘You should have waited in the warm,’ she admonished. ‘You’re shivering with the cold.’

  ‘We tried,’ Fred told her. ‘But he chucked us out.’

  She opened the door and ushered them inside, annoyed they should be treated so badly. ‘Please don’t turn my friends out in the cold, Mr Partridge. They were waiting for me and I’m a good customer.’

  ‘Sorry, Miss Melrose. I didn’t believe them and I know they haven’t got any money.’ He gave the youngsters a suspicious glare. ‘And I have to be careful. Books have a habit of disappearing.’

  ‘’Ere!’ Millie was indignant. ‘We’re poor, but we ain’t thieves. My mum says that if a thing don’t rightly belong to you then you shouldn’t have it, and it wouldn’t do you no good if you took it. I ain’t never pinched nothing in my life!’

  ‘Nor me!’ Fred said forcefully. ‘Being poor ain’t a crime, and just because we ain’t got two farthings between us don’t mean we can’t be trusted.’

  ‘Quite right.’ Gertrude nodded in agreement. She placed a hand on each of their shoulders. Fred’s words about it not being a crime to be poor echoed through her mind. He was absolutely right. Once her brother’s debts had been paid, the Melrose family would have little left in the way of worldly goods, but that would not be a reason to hang their heads in shame. Quite the opposite, in fact. They could be proud of the way they were handling the crisis.

  She smiled at Millie and Fred. ‘Let’s all choose a book and then go to the teashop. Shall we?’

  Fred hesitated. ‘We don’t like to let you keep paying. You sure you can afford it?’

  ‘Today I can.’ She had enough money in her purse for this treat. It gave her great pleasure to see their excited faces as they scuttled off to find themselves a book each.

  This
didn’t take long and they were all soon settled in the teashop. Millie and Fred’s faces were glowing now and Gertrude felt her spirits lift. Everything was going to be all right. She just knew it.

  ‘We didn’t think you was coming, Miss.’ Millie peered at Gertrude, her expression concerned. ‘You all right? You look tired.’

  ‘We have a family crisis and I haven’t been sleeping well.’ Much to her shame, tears filled her eyes.

  Millie grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. ‘Oh, I’m sorry. Have you lost someone?’

  She nodded, and needing to talk, she told them about Edward. She didn’t know why she felt so at ease in their company, but she did. She didn’t make friends easily, because she found the chatter of girls her age boring and silly. These youngsters were not like that, and they listened with rapt attention as she poured out her hurt.

  ‘That’s bloody awful!’ Fred declared when she’d finished. ‘Excuse the language, Miss. It sounds like your brother got in with rigged games.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ She felt better now. Talking about it to people who weren’t involved had helped a lot.

  ‘Cheating. If that was so, then he wouldn’t have stood a chance.’ Fred rummaged in his pocket and brought out a pack of dog-eared playing cards. He began to manipulate them in a way that astonished her. He seemed to be able to make any card he wanted appear in his hands.

  ‘How do you do that?’ she gasped.

  He smirked. ‘I had an uncle who used to work as a magician in the music halls. He’s dead now but he taught me lots of things with cards. No one would beat me if they was playing with me. But I wouldn’t do that to anyone. I wouldn’t cheat. We ain’t got much, but we’re honest. Dad says that’s worth more than all the gold in the world. We got our pride.’

  Gertrude couldn’t believe what she was hearing. These youngsters had so little, but they took pride in being honest and trustworthy. Dear Lord, she thought, there were many from wealthy families who could learn from them. But the boy had made her think. Had her brother been cheated out of the money? How she wished there was a way to find out.